“I’m actually pretty good at drawing, you know?”
Despite clearly looking uncertain while staring at the cake in Kerniola, and with cream smeared on her face, Kaela claimed confidently.
“Yes.”
Duke Ostein, who had gladly attended his son-in-law’s birthday dinner with plenty of gifts, watched with fascination as his son-in-law quickly nodded in front of a cake completely smothered in cream.
If his wife said so, then it must be true; therefore, his wife was indeed a genius artist.
“But I’ve never tried sculpting before.”
Isn’t decorating a cake about adding cream, not breaking apart bread?
“I see.”
“I can do better next year.”
“Sure.”
He laughed. He couldn’t help but laugh. She’s saying there will be a next year. At last, he could look forward to next year, and the years after that.
“Thank you.”
Despite his gratitude, he couldn’t be completely happy. Peon lowered his gaze briefly. While she had been celebrating his birthday, how would he make up for missing hers?
****
Peon only became clearly aware of Kaela’s birthday after their wedding following his regression. Until then, he had no knowledge of her birthday, for the rather inadequate excuse that he simply lacked the mental capacity for it.
When signing their marriage certificate at the wedding, Peon confirmed the date of birth of Princess Ostein Kaela de Chasser.
She was born in late spring. At that time of year, as summer approached, warm winds were already blowing through Ostein’s Lanpalar Palace.
In Lusenford, spring was just beginning to emerge during that season. And this spring, as it blossomed in Lusenford, Kaela lay collapsed, fighting for her life.
Instead of celebrating his wife’s birthday, he had barely managed to keep her breathing, anxiously praying for her to wake up. If something happened to you, I’d die too—nothing but pathetic vows came out.
“You were born on quite a lovely day.”
A cool autumn breeze was blowing through Lanpalar Palace. The scorching sun had finally lost its intensity. It was a season when everything bore fruit, when all storehouses were full, bringing abundance to the heart.
Duke Ostein smiled as he opened a precious bottle of liquor to commemorate his son-in-law’s birthday. It was such a fragrant and smoothly finishing drink that even Kaela, who usually avoided Lusenford’s hard liquor and Ostein’s potent rum, was the first to extend her glass.
The accompaniment was a birthday cake that the pastry chef had desperately tried to salvage but ultimately failed spectacularly, with only Kaela’s decorations remaining. Peon silently consumed the cream-covered cake.
“Did you enjoy today?”
“Yes. I’m still enjoying it.”
With such a stony face declaring his enjoyment, Duke Ostein wasn’t sure whether it was sincere or just a formal pleasantry, so he looked at his daughter. She nodded slightly and smiled. That’s right. I see. It’s good that he’s enjoying himself.
“Thank you for including me.”
“Not at all. Thank you for joining us.”
“Of course I should be here. But, you know, birthdays are days to spend with family. You have other places where you should be celebrated too.”
Peon’s previously stony face softened into a slight smile as he looked at Duke Ostein asking so cautiously.
It takes a full month by water and land routes from Craine to Ostein. Duke Ostein had spent that month alone, thinking and rethinking about what had happened in Craine before coming to Ostein.
He had deduced a very clear conclusion. Peon thought that if Duke Ostein had become emperor instead of the current emperor who couldn’t even communicate while bedridden, Crania would have enjoyed unprecedented prosperity.
“Yes. I was celebrated.”
Duke Ostein smiled broadly. It wasn’t intentional; it was a smile of relief that emerged unconsciously.
“I see. Yes. Yes. That’s wonderful.”
Peon suddenly thought that if they had been standing and chatting like at some reception, Duke Ostein would undoubtedly have reached out to pat his shoulder.
Surely he would have. By now, the people who cared for him had grown one by one to the point where he could anticipate such gestures.
“Hearing that makes me feel quite good.”
Ha ha ha! Duke Ostein maintained a somewhat awkward expression while laughing throughout. Since the person who had been strangling everyone had collapsed, many good things were happening.
Though Duke Ostein didn’t ask for details, it was truly a good thing that this extraordinary son-in-law’s face had brightened, and that his mother, who had been suffering constantly, had also found peace.
Family. Around Peon, who had thought having just Kaela would be enough and had used all his strength to hold onto her alone, people he could call family had unexpectedly multiplied.
Peon now turned to look at Kaela, who was still tilting her head and carefully removing only the cream and fruit from the cake.
In the back of his mind, he was calculating how many of Kaela’s birthdays he had already missed beyond his consciousness.
****
Kaela walked along humming a tune. Today’s dinner had been pleasant, and Duke Ostein had gifted Peon a fine horse from the Savar mountains.
Of course, although Peon didn’t need a horse, he was always kind to animals, and the sight of him smiling and stroking the horse was quite lovely. The cake was a bit disappointing, but Peon ate it all without complaint.
‘Next year I’ll try harder.’
That cream—I’ll definitely manage to spread it smoothly. Hmm. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to think of something else. Kaela wasn’t one to stubbornly persist with impossible tasks. Giving up can also be a good approach.
Peon had completely dried her hair, which now flowed pleasantly below her shoulders, and her fluttery muslin nightgown was a bit thin, requiring some warmth. Her footsteps quickened with a patter.
“It’s a bit chilly.”
As soon as she said this, Peon, who had been walking slightly apart from her, quickly embraced her.
His slightly higher body temperature instantly enveloped Kaela completely. Not wanting the cold to reach her, he lifted her into his arms and looked disapprovingly at the muslin nightgown.
“Isn’t this too thin? Even in Ostein, it’s winter now.”
“It’ll probably be stuffy again tomorrow morning.”
“That’s in the morning. The temperature drops that much at dawn.”
“Then my husband can hold me.”
Having regained her vitality in Ostein, Kaela had recovered the demeanor of a confident princess who spoke forthrightly, instead of her past self who was intimidated and timid.
“True.”
Rather than laughing in disbelief, Peon nodded and sat on the bed. If Kaela said so, then that’s how it was.
Since he also enjoyed holding her, it was to his benefit as well, so he had no intention of refusing. Good things happened whenever he listened to his wife.
With his wife in his arms, he gazed briefly at the dark blue branches swaying in the wind and the desolate, ash-colored winter balcony. The distant sea was quiet, submerged in darkness. A peaceful but barren winter.
“Kaela.”
“Yes?”
Recalling the many birthdays he had missed and things he could have done but didn’t because he’d been too fixated on what he believed, Peon murmured.
“Thank you.”
No matter how he thought about it, expressing gratitude seemed more appropriate than apologizing. That’s what he wanted to do now.
On a day that Kaela had designated as a good day and prepared for him to rejoice fully, he didn’t want to start by apologizing and dwelling on past mistakes. Now he knew. Kaela would prefer to hear “thank you” rather than “I’m sorry.”
“I’ve never experienced a birthday like this before.”
“I toned it down a lot because I thought you might not like anything too extravagant, so I’m glad it was okay.”
“Yes, it seemed that way.”
All the servants at Lanpalar Palace smiled and offered congratulations, and there were even some Ostein vassals who sent belated gifts, apologizing for not knowing it was his birthday.
Though he refused and returned them, everyone still celebrated the birthday of Duke Ostein’s son-in-law.
“It was nice.”
Peon murmured as he reflected on the day.
“It was the first time I’ve seen Mother with such a peaceful expression, and looking at Father, I understood who I take after. These are all new experiences for me.”
Sometimes he could somewhat understand the murmuring of maids who couldn’t comprehend his mother.
If she just bowed a little to the Emperor and pleased him, she could have the entire empire at her feet—why live so difficultly? If she gained power as Empress, the maids would gain power too. But his mother had endured and endured terribly.
Peon immediately recognized that this near-obsessive waiting had been passed down to him as well. Rather than dying and returning, he simply couldn’t let go from his heart.
“I realized there’s a lot I don’t know about my parents.”
Having spent little time together, no matter how much they were his birth parents, he couldn’t know everything. Only after becoming an adult, gaining independence, and forming his own family did he begin to see his parents properly.
“I learned some things this time.”
“You can continue to learn more in the future.”
Peon brushed his wife’s forehead. Delicate but unwavering eyes met his. She no longer avoided him.
Nor did her light extinguish in rejection of him. Peon expressed gratitude to his wife, whom he had forcibly saved and dragged here, prepared to hear all manner of resentment and curses.
“Thank you.”
“Ah, I feel so satisfied.”
Kaela simply leaned her head against him and lay down carelessly.
Abandoning all the dignity she usually maintained, she stretched out her arms and legs freely, placing them haphazardly on Peon’s sturdy body while looking up at the ceiling. Eventually, she turned to look at the face she most wanted to see and smiled.
“I was so nervous today, but hearing you say that makes me so happy.”
Looking at her beaming, fair face, Peon suddenly realized why she had tried so hard, crying in Lusenford. It was all for him, because she wanted him to be happy.
“Why be nervous, Kaela? There’s no need. I like whatever you do for me.”
Though he had decided not to apologize, Peon couldn’t hide his expression. He knew he was the one who had instilled fear in Kaela, causing her to always be anxious.
“Well, you might not like it…”
Those who have experienced all kinds of unusual things tend to make unusual assumptions and worry needlessly.
Having had terrible experiences that made people laugh just by mentioning them, Kaela anxiously imagined whether Peon might be displeased by her mentioning his parents.
“What made me happy today was you, Kaela.”
Peon spoke very slowly and deliberately while gently rubbing the arm of his wife, who was avoiding his eyes and turning her head.
“Of course, I’ll cherish and always use the gloves and formal wear you embroidered for me forever. I’ll also never forget the time I spent with my parents today. But what was special to me was that you thought of me that much.”
“It was just an ordinary, unremarkable birthday.”
“Yes. Ordinary and unremarkable.”
Peon knew well that Kaela’s heart, which once strived to make his birthday absolutely perfect—that pure and wholehearted affection—had all disappeared. He knew he could never again be the recipient of that blind love.
Having barely awakened and even regressed, he had endured and persevered to finally gain just a fragment of that heart. He couldn’t ask for more, and it was impossible for Kaela, who bore all the traces of time.
That’s why today was even more special. Kaela, who could live perfectly well without someone like Peon—no, who might briefly grieve but even feel somewhat relieved—had made an effort for him.
She had raised her powerless body and used what little strength she had, which he had forcibly built up, for him.
“Your heart means so much to me.”
Forcibly. Yes, using all his strength to forcibly piece back together a relationship that was completely shattered and should never have been seen again, dragging it all the way here—it was more than he deserved. I can receive this much.
Even this was overwhelming, yet Kaela worried that even this might displease him. Guessing the reason, Peon emphasized repeatedly.
“Knowing you thought of me is what makes me happiest.”
Is this really reality, or am I still dreaming while dead in the northern tower? He was too preoccupied with constantly checking and embracing Kaela to be sure.
“Thank you for caring for me.”
Not particularly eloquent, he regretfully kissed Kaela, unable to express more. Smiling slightly, Kaela lay still, looking not at the ceiling but at her side.
No longer turning away, those violet eyes that now just gazed at her steadily until she met them were staring at her intently today too. Those eyes were saying:
I love you. I love you so much that I bound you to my side.
Kaela had never responded to those eyes that silently watched only her, holding back a fierce emotion with gloomy restraint. It still felt too cold to answer. The moment she inhaled, freezing air filled her lungs.
Though she couldn’t answer because of that coldness, Kaela allowed him many things. Peon found and grasped her small, loosely extended hand, pressing his warm lips to it. His gaze never left her.
Kaela secretly delighted in all of this. She delighted in possessing the man she couldn’t have before, his emotions, his gaze, his desperate heart.
Kaela owned it all. Knowing it was an immature and base emotion, she secretly rejoiced without ever saying it.
Perhaps someday she could say it. That she liked it in such a lowly way. The man who would listen to those words would surely say: I love you even more basely, so I’m even happier.
Now she knew. She knew and wasn’t afraid. After all, the gaze of a man hot enough to melt most women was now normal to her.
“Though it’s not my birthday today, I had a lot of fun too.”
“Did you? What was the most fun?”
“Well, I liked seeing you admire the horse you received from my father, and visiting Father’s lair was interesting too. I noticed many differences between you.”
“What’s different?”
“Father is nature-friendly while you’re capital-friendly.”
Kaela stated flatly.
“That’s only because you’re capital-friendly.”
Peon responded shamelessly.
“Originally, all males show off to their courtship targets by demonstrating how well they’ve built their homes.”
“Is Mother a nature-friendly person then?”
“She tends to be. She preferred streams and forests to artificial buildings.”
That must be why there were dazzling flowers in bloom and non-blinding golden lights floating about. In contrast, Peon’s lair was packed full of all kinds of treasure.
“I… from an asset management perspective, your lair is excellent…”
By now, Kaela’s speech had slowed. The days when she would fall asleep simply by closing her eyes, without any fussing, were increasing.
“So reassuring… and satisfying…”
Peon, holding Kaela more securely, laughed quietly. Even the completion of this unique day was magnificent.
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