Kaela hadn’t even finished touring Saint Mernie Manor. By now, both Peon was at fault, and so was she for being unable to refuse.
But she simply couldn’t refuse. It felt like she shouldn’t refuse. And with Peon, somehow she didn’t want to create such situations anymore. The reason was still something she couldn’t clearly explain in words.
So still lost in thought, she pushed out her lips and opened the piano lid. Though she had failed at both painting and horseback riding, Kaela kept trying.
The clear tone of the tuned piano spread throughout the reception room filled with flowers and light. After pressing one key, Kaela found herself lost in thoughts about her husband rather than feeling the excitement of playing the piano after so long.
She had rarely felt this lighthearted when thinking about her husband, no, the Grand Duke of Lusenford. Now the fact that he was her husband felt more familiar and closer than his title of Grand Duke.
Dong, dong, dong.
Like someone playing the piano for the first time, Kaela repeatedly pressed the same key in a steady rhythm. Her fair, bright face was blank with ongoing thoughts.
‘This is too unladylike a lifestyle.’
Rather than that being the real issue, more accurately, it was unfamiliar and frightening, but given Kaela’s personality, she could only express it that way.
She had lived a precarious life where following the established rules was safer. She had never experienced a husband who was so devoted to her that he ignored daily routines and pursued her at all hours, being far from diligent.
Ting!
A misplaced piano note made a dull sound. Kaela bit her lip and lifted her hands from the keys. It felt strange. Her hands, which had been fine before sitting at the piano she hadn’t played in so long, became increasingly clumsy and slow.
Peon, who had always been calm, quiet, and courteous, had dismantled all their regular routines and only desired her. Everything felt unfamiliar and awkward.
“Kaela.”
She turned at the sound of his voice. Today at least, her husband had properly wrapped himself in fabric and was entering the reception room showing off his fine attire.
He came closer and gently placed her hand back on the keys, wrapping his other arm around her sensitive waist.
“Just play.”
Deng.
A slightly less dull sound rang out again. Peon held her hand and pressed the keys.
“You don’t need to play well, just play as much as you want to.”
Ding.
The keys made a more pleasant sound. The hand that played lightly yet precisely remembered the piano. Not just Kaela, but Peon too. He sat down casually beside Kaela.
“Did you learn piano?”
“A little, from my mother. I’ve forgotten it all.”
This was the first time she’d heard about this. Peon hadn’t opened up much to his younger sister who was seven years younger. Their relationship had been limited to him playing with and looking after her appropriately, and it wasn’t a situation where he could tell her everything.
“I learned violin too, and sometimes I would sit beside mother while she played the harp.”
But even in childhood, his mother wasn’t free. Sometimes he would cry out for his mother as she was dragged away by the emperor.
Such crying probably lasted until he was about four years old. Those memories were vague because he deliberately forgot them and never recalled them again.
“Mother was good at the lute too. Sometimes when she played in the evening or at night, even though I didn’t know what piece it was, I just enjoyed it.”
Peon tried to recreate the melody his mother used to play, tracing through those vague memories. The sorrowful melody that had been so fluid on the lute sounded dull on the piano.
“Sometimes she would use that lute to avoid the emperor. Because the emperor loved that music.”
On nights when the evening performance satisfied the emperor, it was at least a fortunate day.
“It was my lullaby too.”
The sound created by multiple thin strings was dreamlike yet ultimately sad.
“Actually, mother probably didn’t play it because she enjoyed it.”
Was it a means of escaping reality, or a means of comfort? Peon recalled his mother’s glossy lute.
But his mother had hope. The emperor was a finite being, and mother would eventually reunite with father. And she had a beloved son too. Perhaps that’s why she sometimes picked up the lute on her own?
“I didn’t really enjoy that sound either.”
Kaela looked at his profile. He pressed the keys meaninglessly.
“While music is more often used to lift spirits, the music I knew was just for enduring.”
And it was too faint and fragile a sound for enduring.
“I don’t dislike it though. Seeing you play made me curious about what your music was like.”
Peon turned to her with a smile.
“You liked playing the piano, didn’t you? You even showed me.”
Kaela became slightly embarrassed.
“You still remember that?”
“I even remember that you were wearing a pink hair ribbon then.”
The hair tied in two braids with fluttering ribbons was so adorable. The young lady who forcefully dragged her oppa to show him ‘I can do this too! I’m all grown up!’ always wore such cute hairstyles.
“Playing the piano looked impressive. Since the older girls played so well, I practiced hard thinking maybe if I played well too, Peon oppa would notice me. Maybe he’d like me, thoughts like that.”
Seemingly very embarrassed by this, Kaela mumbled and turned her head away.
“I’m sorry that you forgot how to play because of me.”
“It’s fine. It was just a hobby, I’m not a performer anyway.”
Kaela tried pressing the piano keys again as if nothing was wrong. She couldn’t play according to the sheet music. Because she needed to concentrate and try hard, carefully looking at the score and somehow creating harmonies with both hands.
But if she hadn’t lived that terrible life in Lusenford, Kaela’s hands would have flown gracefully across the piano. Some periods of time ultimately create various kinds of loss.
Peon must have been like the emperor was to his mother for Kaela. He knew this. Violence comes in many forms, and indifference is also violence. Not to mention contempt.
“Still.”
She should have lived without knowing such loss. Peon reached out and hugged her.
“Hey, you know…”
Peon quickly brought his ear closer to Kaela as she looked up.
“Perhaps, perhaps, even now?”
“Even now, what?”
Kaela stared at him intently with wide eyes, biting her lip instead of answering.
“What is it, Kaela? I’m slow, so I won’t know unless you tell me.”
Now her eyes narrowed too.
“I’m not sure.”
“Th-that.”
“What’s that?”
While pretending not to know, he pulled her waist closer.
“Are you going to do it again! For the past few days, whenever I try to do anything, you keep interfering!”
“What did I interfere with?”
He asked innocently. How outrageous! Kaela started counting.
“You interfered with my painting!”
“I didn’t like you looking at the canvas more than me.”
Oh my. Her lips, ready to argue more, lost their words.
“I still don’t like it.”
“You can’t keep disliking it forever. I’m going to paint someday, you know.”
“It’ll be temporary. Once you spend enough time with me, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“You also interfered when I was going to ride horses after spending enough time.”
“Rather than riding a horse, riding me would be better……”
Peon, who had been saying outrageous things with a straight face and casual voice, didn’t resist when small hands suddenly covered his mouth.
Unlike her husband who remained composed, Kaela, red to her neckline, didn’t know what to do after covering her husband’s mouth with both hands. She couldn’t even scold him.
“…you liked…”
“I-I don’t want to hear it!”
Giving up on speaking, Peon kissed her palm.
“Then…”
His eyebrow quirked above her palm. Kaela slowly removed her hands.
“Are you going to interfere with my piano playing too?”
His violet eyes curved.
“I’ve never interfered, Kaela. I just followed when you wanted.”
Her blue eyes narrowed again.
“You weren’t exactly doing nothing.”
Peon just smiled. If he had done as he pleased, Kaela would already be lying on the piano.
Peon looked down at Kaela, who kept glancing at him sideways while saying she would play the piano. Dang, ding, dong, the piano gradually moved away from dull sounds and played its own melody.
Kaela looked at the sheet music, then at the keys, and then beside her. Unlike her, Peon kept his gaze fixed steadily on her. So when their eyes met, the piano inevitably made strange sounds.
“This piece is too difficult.”
Kaela suddenly stood up, took the sheet music, and walked away. Then she spent a long time contemplating in front of the bookshelf full of sheet music before glancing back.
Peon was still watching her. With an unwavering gaze and slight smile, he was looking only at her.
He keeps staring intently. All the way from Craine, no, even before that. He’s someone who never even looks at those he’s not interested in.
So even a fool could understand. That man firmly liked her.
“…Why aren’t you interfering today?”
“I told you I’ve never interfered.”
“You’re not even trying to persuade me to do other things.”
Peon tilted his head slightly.
“Would you like me to?”
“No.”
“That’s why I’m not.”
Kaela furrowed her brow. What did that mean.
“But I wanted to paint and ride horses?”
“If those had been more urgent than me, you wouldn’t have given in.”
So that’s what it was. I see. He seemed to notice even things she hadn’t realized herself.
“Will you stay by my side?”
Peon’s face instantly hardened. He muttered with a pained expression, furrowing his brow.
“Please don’t send me away.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I’ll stay by your side.”
Had they been too close these past few days? Had he been tiresome?
“Forever.”
Peon added stubbornly while examining Kaela. He knew he had been tiresome. But, he had tried his best to make Kaela happy. Was that not enough? Or…
“Are you tired of me?”
Have you grown weary? The question, thrown out after staring quietly, contained fear. Kaela quickly put down the newly chosen sheet music on the music stand and sat beside him.
“No. I’m not tired of you at all. I was just asking.”
Peon sighed and pulled her into an embrace. His arms were broad, but the force that confined and restrained was incredibly strong.
Ironically, Kaela felt stable in them. Being held so tightly it was almost suffocating had become so natural that when his arms loosened, her back felt empty.
“I, Kaela.”
The dragon, who had now settled everything and even awakened, still spoke desperately.
“I’m going crazy with regret over the time I lost. No, thinking about that time constantly is making me even crazier.”
That time. Those lost 4 years.
“We could have been together. We could have spent more time together, gotten to know each other better, but we couldn’t. We didn’t.”
Peon confessed with a completely broken expression, squeezing his eyes shut.
“I have no intention of ever being apart again.”
That’s why he stayed by Kaela’s side constantly and shared every daily moment.
“So this, this is just inevitable, Kaela. I’m made this way, and I can’t fix it anymore.”
It’s too late to fix it.
“When I can’t see you, even though I know I’m holding onto you, I get anxious. Whether you’re hurt somewhere, whether somewhere perhaps…”
Whether you’ve left him. Whether you’re making another wrong choice.
Kaela, looking into his eyes full of anxiety, moved closer to him. Close enough for their noses to touch, their foreheads to meet, close enough to feel each other’s warmth as they held each other.
“You know I’m not in my right mind. Just keep me by your side even if it’s annoying. I don’t want to miss anything about you.”
It was both a confession and a promise.
“It’s not annoying.”
Kaela smiled brightly.
“That can’t be true. I used to follow you around just as annoyingly.”
Peon sighed.
“Honestly, when I regressed, I wanted to go back to that time. But… I couldn’t.”
At the time when he first opened his eyes, because he didn’t have enough power and knowledge, there was no choice but to use his mother’s burning of the magic tool as the starting point.
“If I could go back to that time, I could have done better.”
“You did plenty well now. Look at me, I’m here healthy. I never thought I’d see a new autumn. It’s amazing to be seeing falling leaves.”
“Together with me.”
“Yes. With you.”
Kaela nodded.
“That’s why I’m happy.”
💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛