The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

“Hahaha, I know, that’s why I’m so nervous! Dorothea, do I look like a crown prince?”

Ray took a deep breath and turned to face me.

Absolutely not–you look like a fool on a daily basis-a well dressed fool; I thought to myself.

An idiot with slickback, semi-curly blonde hair, dressed in a pristine uniform and cape.

It’s nice to look at, but he was still Ray through and through.

The serious attire didn’t suit his childish character at all, making the situation even funnier.

People always praised Ray for being quite brave and handsome, but oh well…

“It would have been better if Dorothea had become the Crown Princess. Dorothea would have finished the opening ceremony nicely without trembling. Dorothea is also smarter than me.”

“….”

Those words were far too stupid to be disguised as being pure and kind.

Had I not  traveled back in time with my adult memories intact, I would have slapped him right then and there.

Stupid Ray, who was born with every opportunity, was oblivious to the immense cruelty his words held for someone like me who could never become a crown princess.

That is precisely why I could never bring myself to like Ray, who was always pure, kind, and lovely. So, i simply said,

“I can’t since I’m unable to summon spirits.”

“No, Dorothea will be summoning spirits soon, won’t you?”

No, I won’t. I have never been able to until the end of my days.

Whether or not he knew my heart, Ray confidently proclaimed that the day I’d meet a spirit was right around the corner. He didn’t even realize how his hasty consolation and encouragement caused me more distress.

A dark feeling intensified in my heart as I bit hard on my lower lip.

Ray doesn’t know anything.

Dorothea, you must live a good life. Do not forget that.

I repeated those words in my head like a mantra, and Ray quietly approached and sat down beside me.

“Dorothea, can’t you at least try to cheer me up?”

“Why me?”

“If Dorothea cheers me up, I think I’ll be able to do well.”

Ray tilted his head with a soft smile as his eyes met mine, and pleasant blue light shone refreshingly from the inside of the golden eyelashes.

I frowned at the sight of Ray, who looked like a fox wagging its tail.

“Just ruin the ceremony,” I retorted.

“Dorothy, don’t be like that. I am your brother, so hug me just once. yes?”

How did cheering him up suddenly develop into a hug?

Even his cute nasal voice sounded annoyingly perfect, so I gladly answered, “Yeah, ruin it.” 

I’m fighting the urge to give you a fist instead of a hug.

At my words, Ray’s face paled like a dog with droopy ears, he bowed his head and puffed out his lower lip.

“Dorothea seems to hate me just by looking at me.”

You only realized that now? What an oblivious person.

Well, I worked hard not to openly show my animosity, so I could see why Ray couldn’t easily see it.

However, even though I was unable to really express myself, I silently hoped that Ray would realize it on his own and not look for me in the future.

“Prince Ray, it’s almost time for you to go in.” A servant suddenly announced as he came to escort him.

“Dorothy, are you still coming to watch my inauguration ceremony?”

I didn’t want to go, but I couldn’t avoid it, so I nodded in agreement.

“If Dorothy is watching, then I think I will definitely do well,” Ray said with a smile.

“….”

If it wasn’t for Carnan, I might not have killed my brother.

I would have just seen him as a cute fool.

Ray kept staring at me, seemingly waiting for a word of encouragement, but I chose to ignore him.

* * *

Ray’s opening ceremony.

It was fortunate that my seat was in front of Theon’s.

Had Theon been in front of me, I would have been distracted by him, and then felt depressed when I looked at Julia standing next to him.

My only regret was that Carnan was in my line of sight.

But, unfortunately, since I was his biological daughter, I had to stand alongside him in the front row.

Carnan wore a golden cloak that flowed down to the ground, and was clutching a scepter that symbolized the Milanaire’s royal lineage.

At the tip of that scepter was the sculpture of a spirit with outstretched arms as if embracing the air.

Originally, the spirit stone of light would have been placed within those sculpted arms, but alas, the stone was lost at sea a long time ago.

Replacing the stone with another gem was utterly impossible. It was believed that such an act would greatly offend the spirit, hence why it was left as it was.

Did someone find the broken pieces of that stone?

I recalled overhearing that it was found moments before my execution took place, but since my mental state had already hit rock bottom at that time, my memories were fragmented, and unclear.

“The light of the glorious Milanaires shall shine upon the whole empire…”

The ceremony progressed and as I sat there, I came to a realization. It struck me that this time around, the appointment ceremony was almost too simple. 

Carnan, the barrel is small.

Given that this was a celebration to publicly announce the heir to the throne, it was a significant event that got the entire palace buzzing and noisy for a few days prior. It was also a gathering occasion for numerous nobles, to the extent that Fried had traveled a considerable distance to attend.

But It was deliberately prepared in a non frugal way.

I remember how grandiose Ray’s ceremonie looked in my first life. Well, i suppose everything looked more intimidating and important to me then.

There was a period when Carnan, who sat proudly on the throne, felt terrifying and distant.

There were also times when I felt like he was this great being I could never reach, causing me to crave for his acknowledgment in order to validate my existence in this world.

But now, Carnan was nothing to me.

And to my eyes, his accessories looked rusty, the chandelier dangling from the ceiling looked small and shabby, the seats were too cramped, and the flowers were too common.

It was probably because I had already seen the peak of luxury.

I had once hosted opulent feasts where I lit fires that never went off even after the sun had risen; I would enjoy an abundance of fine wine and other delicacies.

I transformed precious jewels into vibrant displays of flowers and trees. I even summoned exotic dancers from distant lands to entertain me.

If it were up to me, Ray’s ceremony  would have been bigger, louder, and more extravagant than this.

I would have prepared it like a tyrant.

I would have gone all the way out because I was a despot who fed off the backs of her people.

So I suppose Carnan was indeed doing a good job.

Lost in thoughts, I watched as Ray entered the hall, making his way down the red carpet. They attendees rose from their seats and bowed in unison as the majestic notes of a pipe organ filled the air, accompanied by the warm glow of countless candles.

Around Ray, the spirit of light was fluttering like a mosquito, making it evident that he was qualified to be the Crown Prince, and the next emperor.

Well, I don’t need that kind of power.

I know I can defeat Ray without it.

As I stared at my brother walking in, I struggled to push the past behind me.

Ray’s tense face and stiff shoulders seemed slightly comical to me. With trembling hands, he walked in sync with the chorale, looking like he could trip over the hem of his long cape at any moment.

His blue eyes were scanning the place without worrying about where he was putting his feet, and he eventually locked his gaze with mine.

As soon as he spotted me amidst the bustling crowd, the corners of his mouth curved upward in a wide smile, flaunting his pearly white teeth.

What is he doing? Doesn’t he know he should look ahead while walking?

Such inappropriate behavior during a solemn occasion.

It would have been fine if only he had stopped his foolishness there, but Ray soon burst into laughter, causing the spirit of light to become agitated and unstable.

Is that fool even capable of handling spirits properly?

“Look in front of you!” I silently mouthed those words to him, my frustration evident.

And understanding what I was trying to say, Ray nodded eagerly. His enthusiasm shook the choir in his hand, causing the spirit to jiggle as if dancing.

No, why are you nodding your head so vigorously during the ceremony! I exclaimed in my mind.

Silly Ray.

Fortunately, he listened to me in the end, focusing his gaze forward, and safely climbed onto the podium without falling.

But I still couldn’t divert my gaze during the whole thing because I felt as though I was abandoning a child on the edge of a cliff.

The thought of this fool becoming the next Emperor pained me.

If it were me, a mistake like this…no. You don’t deserve to think like this, Dorothea.

I shook my head determined to dispel those thoughts.

However, deep down, I really wished that the person who would become the next emperor in this lifetime would be a great sage, one that would be remembered throughout history.

Such a pity.

* * *