The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

Theon looked bewildered as he looked into my eyes.

“Maybe… I think so,” he confusedly answered.

“You are a bad kid! I thought we would be good friends.”

Ray got angry and took Theon away from me.

He seemed quite angry, he even showed hostility by staring at Theon.

“Dorothea has never cried like this, even when she was a baby!”

Ray, who had clung to me since I was a newborn, knew that I rarely cry.

Well, as an adult who traveled back to when she was baby but still kept her adult memories, it was only natural.

Only when babies are normal, when their bodies are not developed enough to use language, only then do they cry to express their emotions.

Even if I fall while running, even if the nanny goes away for a while and I’m left alone, even then I’d never shed a single tear. The nanny grew so worried about me not crying like I’m supposed to, she even consulted a doctor.

“What did you do to Dorothea?”

“Your Highness Raymond, that’s…”

“I didn’t cry because of Theon!” I shouted at Ray, who was mad at Theon without knowing the truth.

“Isn’t it because of Theon?”

“It’s because dust got in my eyes.”

Ray tilted his head at my poor excuse, and I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment because I was caught crying by him.

“Really. Something really got in and it hurt so much…” I added.

“It’s fine now?” my brother asked, worried.

The idiot looked into my eyes to see if there really was something wrong.

His blue eyes looking at me were so clear, I was sick of it.

“I just cried and fell by myself. I’m okay.”

“That’s a relief.” Ray answered, smiling relievedly.

The nanny, who had rushed after Ray, was surprised when she saw my state and ran in my direction to wipe my cheeks stained with tears.

“Oh my gosh, our princess! You were in the garden a few seconds ago, how did you get here!” she exclaimed.

Surprisingly, the nanny and Ray’s presence gradually calmed my throbbing heart.

“Dorothea, I want to introduce you to my new friend,” Ray said, refreshing the atmosphere as he pushed Theon closer to me.

Wait, is Theon the friend he wanted to introduce me to?

“I apologize for making a mistake on our first meeting, Princess Dorothea. My name is Theon Fried.”

Theon formally greeted me and kissed the back of my hand.

Even though I had gone through the path of regret once, my heart was running like an untamed wild horse, heading where I craved to go.

Theon’s smile once filled me with unscrupulous hope.

We are now at a fresh start. There was no history between us yet.

So… Is it okay for me, who cruelly longed for love, to shake off the misfortunes of the past, and start over?

If I love you a little more, won’t you look back at me this time?

Maybe life really gave me a new chance.

But my foolish dream was soon shattered.

“Theon, why did you go alone?” A voice said.

And despair instantly came in, crushing my young hope.

“Julie! I told you to wait,” Theon replied.

His gaze that was on me turned back to her.

To the pink hair and purple eyes girl.

Eyes that were sparkling like amethysts, reached the tip of Theon’s gaze. A bright smile as if even a single shadow had never been cast upon it. Soon, a very lovely girl ran to Theon and stood by his side.

Julie Delevingne.

Theon’s first and only love.

Due to family promises and my stubbornness, he had no choice but to marry me, but Theon only loved her until the very end.

The two of them, who have been childhood friends for a long time, are like puzzle pieces that fit well together. So special to one another that there was and never will be no room for me to intervene.

After all, my life was always like that. Why did I think it would suddenly change?

I longed for Carnan’s love but never got it.

I longed for Theon’s affection but never received it…

I was doomed to live an unlovable life.

Theon looked for Julie even after marrying me.

Dozens of letters were exchanged between them without my knowledge.

And when I finally knew of this, I didn’t let him go to Julie. I didn’t do it recklessly, I made sure they never met because I loved him so obsessively. I was blinded by jealousy toward Julie, and I prayed that she would disappear from Theon’s side. No, I wished that she would die.

So when my faithful subordinate came up with a plausible charge that could bring me her head, I rejoiced, thinking that Theon would finally love me after.

But in the end, Theon escaped from me through death and went to her side.

He died because of my greed. 

My selfish love killed him.

Can I even call it love? This feeling that’s breaking my heart even now?

“Julie is here too!” my brother exclaimed, excited.

Ray greeted the girl and called her name warmly.

“Dorothy. This is Julie Delevingne. She was at the Grand Duchy of Fridia with Theon and decided to accompany him to the palace.”

My brother formally introduced them one by one, before Theon and Julie explained that they had come to the island with their parents to attend Ray’s inaugural ceremony.

After the introduction, Julie politely bowed to me, saying, “Hello, Princess Dorothea.”

She smiled brightly, greeting me lovingly and kindly, to the point of reviving my jealousy all over again.

No. You should smile, Dorothea. You can’t let yourself hate Julie.

“Hi…” I managed to squeeze out.

I tried to raise the corners of my mouth into a smile but failed. My emotions were growing stronger by the minute and getting out of control.

And unlike her innocent smile, mine was stained with all kinds of negative feelings.

Probably because her and Theon naturally held hands and rubbed their shoulders together in front of me.

What did you expect, Dorothea? What did you expect as the one who killed Theon once.

“You know Dorothea…”

“I want to go up to my room, nanny.”

Before Ray could finish his sentence, I pulled on the nanny’s white apron, asking to leave this place.

There was no place for me to stand here. Not between the prince whom I killed with my own hands, the man who chose death over me, and the woman my love loves, 

I couldn’t stand the pain just existing among them was causing me right now.

“Yes?” The nanny said confusedly, “Aren’t you going to hang out with your new friends?”

“I feel tired,” I simply answered.

Then, I turned my eyes away from them and ran up to my room. Without realizing that my hand couldn’t let go of Theon’s handkerchief.

* * *

The Milanaire name was a curse for me.

A curse I say since I was forced to attend Ray’s inaugural ceremony just because of that name.

Even though I had no desire to be there.

“What shall we do, Dorothea? I’m so nervous!” my brother whined.

“Stay calm, Ray,” I told him nonchalantly.

Ray, who was preparing for the opening ceremony, kept walking back and forth in front of me. It made me so upset, I couldn’t even concentrate on reading my book.

I was looking through a history book whose cover had been replaced with a children’s illustration book cover by me.

See, after the stunt the nanny pulled with Carnan, I deliberately changed the cover of any book people would classify as difficult when I was reading them.

“I’ll be the Crown Prince starting today, Dorothea.”

“Okay. The prince of the great Ubera Empire,” I replied, uninterested.

On a more serious note, I was very dissatisfied with Ray becoming the Crown Prince in my first life.

Although I was only eight years old at the time, I had a clear understanding of the ceremony’s political implications.

And even though it wasn’t on the political side of things, it was clear that Ray had a better place than me.

And that I will never be able to reach where he was, that I’d never be celebrated as a hero in a big event like the Crown Prince’s ceremonial.

Therefore, I stood there with a bad face throughout the whole ceremony, and as soon as it was over, I became more annoyed and poured it all on the nanny again.

I hated myself for not being able to summon the Spirit of Light. But now, I was too happy to leave the throne to Ray.

I don’t like my brother, but I wouldn’t try to bring him down or kill him like last time.

However, I was still a little worried.

Thinking that such a bright idiot was going to rule the empire.

It’s true that spirits make emperors, but they do not have offensive power, and they do not give advice about how to govern an Empire.

Of course, I wasn’t a good monarch myself during my reign, so I had nothing to say after ruining the country with my excessive greed and obsessions.

But I was worried about Ray because a dog covered in dung is a dog with chaff.

He might be stupid but he’s not a bad kid. But lots of bad people were going to try to befriend the Crown Prince after today, and I feared about the effects they could have on him.

“The Crown Prince is an important and heavy position, Ray.”

I had a lot of things I wanted to say to him but my emotions regarding Ray were too complicated, so, I only said this one thing.

I really wish he doesn’t end up like me.

Unlike me, I hope you don’t make so many mistakes.

* * *