TISND Chapter 161

Chapter 161

Jeremy and Joshua tended to lack confidence and often blamed themselves for everything. However, there was one trait about the children that Helena didn’t know: contrary to what she thought, they were incredibly persistent.

When they suddenly declared they wouldn’t leave Horion, Helena was taken aback—but she figured this situation wouldn’t last long. She thought that if she kept her distance like she did in the beginning, they’d get discouraged again and leave.

So, Helena decided to act even colder toward the children who refused to leave.

“Helena! Want to go out for a little walk? You always did around this time, remember?”

“I want to go alone. How about packing your things instead? Don’t you need to go back to Seantillen?”

They were like wells filled with love they wanted to give—but it wasn’t easy to turn her back on them.

“I boiled some eggs.”

“You didn’t have to… Mmph!”

“Enjoy it! From now on, I’ll make lots of delicious food for you!”

Still, Helena resolved to hold out just a little longer.

“Good morning! Want to help me take care of the yard?”

“Didn’t you say taking care of the yard and garden was a gardener’s job…?”

“That was when I was a kid, haha!”

But the more Helena tried to push them away, the more stubbornly the children clung to her.

No matter how many times she told them to leave, they pretended not to hear and stuck around. At this point, Helena found herself wanting to run away.

In the halls, the children would suddenly pop out, asking to go somewhere or offering food. It got to the point where every time she walked through the hall, she tensed up, expecting them to jump out.

“Helena!”

“Eek!”

In the end, Helena couldn’t take it anymore and spoke up.

“I don’t know why you’re trying so hard not to leave… but you don’t have to.”

Helena carefully continued.

“Of course, maybe you’re sad about parting with me. But sometimes, people have to do things they don’t want to. Things they must do.”

“…”

“There’s no more danger for me. My brother’s been taken to the capital, and I’m fine now, physically.”

It was pretty much the same thing she’d said last time—because her excuses were running thin.

“So now you should go back to the capital…”

“I’m not going! I absolutely won’t!”

But this time, their response was completely different. She thought they’d give in if she spoke gently, like before. But it was clear now—they had made up their minds.

“I like you! You’re important to me!”

“…Huh?”

Jeremy shouted.

“You’re the most important person in the world to me!”

“…”

“I really like you! You’re my favorite person in the entire world!”

“…”

“So I’ll treat you as someone precious too. I’ll take care of you and treasure you! If you’re sick, I’ll stay with you until you get better, and I’ll help find the antidote!”

Unlike Joshua, Jeremy didn’t beat around the bush—he spoke straight from the heart. Maybe that’s why his words hit Helena so directly, without any room for misunderstanding or false hope. He told her, plainly and simply, that she was precious to him. That he liked her.

“So I’m not leaving. I’m not walking away from my family! A Frantor doesn’t do that.”

“I… I…”

Helena asked in a trembling voice.

“I’m… your family?”

“Why are you asking like you really didn’t know?”

Joshua replied instead of Jeremy.

“Legally, and in terms of time spent… aren’t we already a family?”

“…”

Her nose stung. Or rather, it felt hot like it was burning. At the same time, tears welled up in her eyes. She felt like she might burst into tears just from hearing the kids speak so surely, without hesitation.

So Helena couldn’t respond. If she said anything, she was afraid the tears would come first. She turned her gaze away, trying to escape Joshua’s question.

***

So they really did think of me as family. I had believed I didn’t have a single soul to lean on in this world. I was ready to end my life in resignation—just as I was about to give up completely, the children’s words were impossible to ignore.

I wish we had met as a normal family, not as Eskel and Frantor. I wish I’d never been addicted to Asehimmo. Then maybe, just maybe, we could’ve lived a normal life like any other family. That had always been my dream—a modest, peaceful home.

The truth is, she was secretly happy when the children said they wouldn’t abandon her. That they wouldn’t leave her. The fact that they were still holding on to her, even as she tried to push them away—it made her so happy she could cry. Even just for a few days. Even for a few hours. If only we could live normally.

But it wasn’t just joy she felt.

It wasn’t only the children who hadn’t left. Caligo remained in Horion too. Now, letters arrived from the capital and Frantor several times a day. It must’ve been such a hassle to keep sending carrier pigeons all the way to this remote place. And yet, no one seemed to complain.

How could someone like me be worth all this?

Every time Helena saw Caligo and the children, who stayed in Horion without hesitation, she found herself putting herself down again. That someone as useless as her was making others waste their precious time.

Even as she felt joy at Jeremy’s words—that he would cherish and care for her—she couldn’t help but doubt them. She just didn’t see herself as someone worthy of such devotion.

And the next day… it was Helena’s birthday.

She had never really celebrated her birthday before. Her family never had, so it became a habit to let the day pass quietly.

“Happy birthday.”

Her heart was already in turmoil, and she already felt foolish for constantly pushing others away. Hearing those words—happy birthday—made her emotions ripple like something had snapped inside. No matter how she tried to breathe steadily, something kept rising up from her chest, threatening to burst out.

“It’s gotten a lot colder lately, and it seemed like you were dressing too lightly.”

It was an overcoat—not too thick, but warm enough to wrap herself in. As she ran her fingers over the soft fabric, Helena bowed her head to hide her swelling emotions.

“The promised date has passed.”

“I know. But… I want to stay by your side.”

“…”

“I know you’re afraid of me. I know I’ve done you wrong.”

“…”

“But please… let me stay with you. I’m begging you.”

She hated him. She still hated him. His presence still frightened her. And yet… maybe she still had feelings left for him. Because in the face of his earnest voice, so full of longing—she couldn’t bring herself to tell him to go. Why would someone like her deserve this much of anyone’s time? She started to feel ashamed.

She should push them away. Tell them not to waste time on her. But she had come to realize—part of her didn’t want them to leave. Even as she told them to go, she secretly hoped they’d stay. ‘Stay with me. I don’t want to be alone…’

Still, I don’t have much time left. I don’t want them to live crushed under the shadow of who I am. If they stay by me, Eskel’s dirt might stain their good names.

“Helena!”

Just then, Jeremy came running up to her with his usual cheerful voice. She’d heard earlier that he’d gone somewhere that morning. Judging from the grass stains on his cheeks and clothes, it seemed he’d been rolling around in the mountains.

“Happy birthday! It’s nothing special, but I brought you a present. You like flowers, right?”

Jeremy had brought her lily of the valley. Pure white and innocent. It looked like he had picked the wildflowers himself and rinsed them quickly, as they were still damp with water.

“Hey, Jeremy.”

From a distance, Joshua’s voice called out, sounding a bit exasperated as he approached them.

“Helena does like flowers… but isn’t farming technically her hobby?”

“…”

“And you gave flowers to someone who loves growing them?”

Jeremy’s face turned pale at Joshua’s jab. Of course, he’d only thought about giving her something she’d like—he hadn’t considered the irony of picking the very thing she enjoyed cultivating.

“…Oh.”

Realizing his mistake a beat too late, Jeremy’s expression turned ghostly.

“Haha!”

But Helena burst into laughter. She couldn’t stop herself. He had gone out of his way just to find her a gift—he was so sweet and endearing, it overwhelmed her with gratitude and affection.

“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you? Just wait! I’ll go pick a new one.”

“No, there’s no need.”

She had thought she’d built an impenetrable wall around herself—one no one could ever cross.

But she’d been wrong.

That wall she’d so carefully erected crumbled under the warmth of kindness and affection. The strongest weapon against it wasn’t brute force or firepower—it was tenderness.

It was the small, seemingly trivial things of everyday life that finally breached Helena’s wall.

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