The Reason Why She Wanted To Leave

I sat up and took the letter. Using the letter opener Rivet handed me, I carefully opened the envelope. I already felt a bit guilty about Ains’ reckless behavior at the ball.

I wasn’t entirely sure if Viscount Moldovan’s intentions were genuine or if he was just after the alimony I received from Ains. Regardless, it wasn’t right for Ains to embarrass him so rudely. Of course, if Moldovan did have bad intentions, I wouldn’t be able to think well of him either.

I opened the envelope and read the letter inside. It mentioned how much he enjoyed our brief meeting at the ball. Despite Ains ruining the end of it, he didn’t regret meeting me. He then asked if we could meet privately sometime.

I read the letter over and over again, then set it down with a small sigh. I was torn about whether to meet him or just reply with a letter. It didn’t take long for me to decide—I needed to meet him at least once.

I had to apologize for Ains’ rudeness and clearly convey my feelings. Sensitive matters like these couldn’t be handled through letters alone.

“Rivet, can you help me up?”

“Yes, Madam.”

With Rivet’s help, I got out of bed. I was still not fully recovered from the aftereffects of the Trintz disease, but I could move around. I slowly made my way to the desk and began writing a reply to Viscount Moldovan.

I used elaborate and flowery language, but the message was simple: I wanted to meet soon and asked him to suggest a date, time, and place. After carefully writing the letter, I sealed it with red wax and stamped it with the Marves family crest.

I handed the sealed letter to Rivet. “Please send this to Viscount Moldovan.”

“Yes, Madam.”

Rivet instructed another maid to deliver the letter. A couple of hours later, the maid returned with a new letter in hand. It was a reply from Viscount Moldovan, suggesting we meet at the fountain in the central square at 6 PM today.

The quick response and the short notice surprised me. If I had known he would suggest meeting so soon, I would have asked for a later date. This was my oversight.

I changed into a suitable dress and let Rivet do my hair. She braided my long platinum hair neatly and draped a shawl over my shoulders. The shawl’s warmth was comforting against the cold air.

I thought about how I should have worn a shawl to the ball. But then I remembered Baroness Xavier and quickly dismissed the thought. She had worked hard to make my dresses and would have been disappointed if she knew I didn’t wear them properly. But she would have been even more upset if I had fallen ill.

* * *

I arrived at the central square in a hired carriage. Despite it being evening, the fountain area was bustling with people. This was why I felt safe coming out. If Viscount Moldovan had suggested meeting in a secluded place, I would have declined.

But he chose a location that was always busy, day or night, reducing the chances of anything untoward happening.

“You’re here,” Viscount Moldovan greeted me.

He was already waiting by the fountain, dressed more casually than he had been at the ball. His hair was slightly tousled, and he awkwardly tried to smooth it down under my gaze.

“Sorry, I had some errands to run and had to rush to get ready,” he explained.

“It’s alright. I wasn’t trying to criticize,” I reassured him, waving my hand dismissively.

Though I was a bit taken aback, his imperfect appearance didn’t bother me.

“Thank you for your understanding. I must have been too hasty with the appointment. I feel embarrassed about it now.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you.”

After expressing his gratitude, Viscount Moldovan looked around and suggested, “Shall we walk? Unless you’d prefer to sit and talk?”

“Let’s walk. It’s a bit chilly standing still.”

“Alright.”

As I started walking, Viscount Moldovan matched my pace.

“I think I might have overstepped at the ball,” he said quietly after a long silence.

I understood what he meant. “You were worried I might be cold. I should be the one thanking you. And about that incident…”

I paused before continuing, “I apologize on behalf of Duke Graham.”

Viscount Moldovan sighed deeply, remaining silent. The heavy silence between us was almost unbearable.

Finally, he spoke again. “You are divorced from Duke Graham, right?”

“Yes, we are definitely divorced.”

“I don’t mean to doubt your word, but Duke Graham’s actions seem…”

I could guess the rest. He meant that Ains’ behavior was still that of a husband.

But the truth was, Ains and I were definitely divorced. I was just as shocked by his behavior as anyone else. Was he regretting it now that we were no longer together?

“I understand what you’re saying, but no,” I said, shaking my head slowly. “I’m really sorry you had to deal with Duke Graham because of me.”

“It’s alright,” Viscount Moldovan replied, although his face clearly showed it wasn’t.

“I just thought maybe there’s still something between you and Duke Graham…” he began, but I interrupted him.

“No!” I couldn’t help but cut him off. The idea that Ains and I still had feelings for each other? Absolutely not. Maybe I did, but Ains certainly didn’t. His recent strange interest in me was nothing more than curiosity. At the ball, he probably just didn’t want to see the alimony he paid me end up with someone else. That was the Ains Graham I knew—a man who never took a loss.

“Duke Graham is just a bit confused,” I said, trying to soften Ains’ actions. I couldn’t very well tell Viscount Moldovan that Ains interfered because he didn’t want to be swindled in front of him. Besides, I wasn’t even sure if that was the truth.

“What kind of misunderstanding?” he asked.

“Well…” I hesitated, unable to find the right words. Viscount Moldovan continued walking in silence, giving me space to speak, but his patience only made me more anxious. How should I explain this?

I decided to abandon my thoughts and ask him directly. “Viscount Moldovan.”

“Yes, go ahead,” he replied.

“Did you mean it when you said you liked me?”

“I did,” he answered without a moment’s hesitation, sounding confident in his feelings. I glanced at his face, trying to read his true intentions, but quickly looked away. How could I discern his sincerity when I couldn’t even tell if the people in our social circles were genuine?

Given the uncertainty, I decided to keep some distance. “In that case, I must apologize.”

“What do you mean by that?” he asked.

“Just what it sounds like,” I replied, offering a gentle rejection. Whether his feelings were genuine or not didn’t matter to me. What mattered was that I felt nothing for him. With the constant fear of my illness hanging over me, no one, not even Viscount Moldovan, could capture my attention.

If his feelings were real, it was better to let him know now rather than give him false hope. If he was pretending to like me for money, this was also a way to stop him from expecting anything.

Viscount Moldovan looked hurt but then sighed and slumped his shoulders. “I see. So, there’s no chance for me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, thank you for being honest early on. I could have wasted my time otherwise.”

I felt relieved seeing how easily he accepted my words. I had worried he might insist or disregard my feelings, but he didn’t.

“Is this because of Duke Graham?” he asked.