For Asahisan, thank you so much for the ko-fis! ♡
<Episode 101>
“When you surpass the final wall and reach the realm of the divine, the soul begins to prepare for rebirth as a deity. As a higher-dimensional self blossoms, the individual self and the God self separate.”
“They separate?”
Well, that certainly seemed like a divine problem. I couldn’t quite understand it.
“Can you explain it simply? Does it mean like having dual personalities?”
“Hmm. If the balance between the two selves is lost, it might feel that way.”
Balance again.
“It’s hard to imagine. How is the balance of these selves maintained?”
“By using the power of divinity, the God’s self becomes stronger, while being swayed by emotions and instincts makes the human self stronger. By maintaining a proper balance between the two, one can remain on the continent and fulfill the role of a demi-god.”
In short, it meant the conflict between reason and emotion.
“What if one side becomes overwhelmingly dominant?”
“You either return to being human or become a deity and depart to the distant universe.”
“….”
“The sanctuary is not revered for no reason. The energy of this ancient land has an excellent effect on stabilizing the self. That’s why I came back here during those three years. Does that answer your question?”
Become a deity and depart to the distant universe.
More than any other words, that phrase lingered in my ears. I asked back again, feeling a little sense of unease.
“So… the current state is stable, right?”
“Yes. I am currently close to a highly balanced ‘half-enlightened’ state. Not excessively close to human desires, yet not infinitely far from the realm of complete divinity.”
I began to understand what he was saying, at least to some extent.
The reason why Rue could maintain a relaxed attitude in any situation.
It wasn’t just because of the experience of living for nearly 200 years or possessing a formidable power that would astonish everyone. It was simply because he had excellently maintained the balance of his ego.
That’s why he wasn’t excessively passionate or indifferent. He didn’t have any desperate desires, nor did he experience great happiness or great sadness.
That was the ‘balance’ that Rue could maintain as a half-enlightened being.
However, the question still remained.
‘Returning to the sanctuary once every three years… It must mean that one side of himself has become uncontrollably dominant.’
I wonder which self tried to devour him?
“It’s a very fortunate thing for you. The ‘me’ that is infinitely close to being human… is very honest about desires.”
Rue spoke like he was singing, twirling the hair that flowed down behind me.
“Even my current appearance often feels incomprehensible, like a fool. What would I look like when I become closer to being human? Hmm. It piques my interest, but I don’t really want to experience it. Weakness and ugliness are not my cup of tea.”
Weakness and ugliness..
‘Is he talking about me?’
He was being outspoken, but it was understandable. After all, he was the only human referred to as a deity.
‘God.’
A being so great that it could pull up a meteor from a hundred years ago.
If Rue is truly magnificent enough to mock time. If that’s the case…
“Mr. Rue.”
“Yeah.”
“Is it possible for you to save me?”
Rue’s lips closed in a straight line.
“I heard from Malcolm. In the state of a shattered soul, one cannot surpass the barriers. He said that my physical body would gradually crumble during the remaining lifespan. With your power, you could…”
“I won’t fix it.”
It was a firm denial that stung my heart.
His answer was so resolute that I couldn’t even feel disappointed or embarrassed.
Rue was staring at me with a sharp gaze that sent a chill down my spine.
“To revive the dead, I need a powerful force, and once that power is depleted, I have to go far away. And I won’t be able to come back. For a lifetime. Forever. Why should I do that? For whom?”
“…”
“Just for you?”
It was an uncharacteristically exuberant reaction.
I was merely curious, I had no intention of begging for my life. I wondered if maybe I’d touched a sensitive topic…
“Poor Daisy. Give up on that. I have to watch you grow old and die with my own eyes.”
What?
Rue had an expression of absurdity.
“After being with you for 14 years, you think you can live the rest of your life happily without me? Who decides that?”
With that one statement, I was convinced.
Rue was obsessed with me.
However, it was difficult to attribute Rue’s obsession to love.
Love? Affection? Can Rue truly feel such emotions?
‘Maybe it’s strange to try and define what a God feels in human terms to begin with.’
So, it was highly likely that Rue’s obsession stemmed from a sense of responsibility.
[In my opinion, Calepa is merely fulfilling his promise to Miss Daisy.]
‘In a way, that’s not entirely wrong.’
Conflicting emotions arose within me.
The frustration and emptiness of thinking that Rue may never fully understand my feeling until the end. Yet, I also felt a sense of relief that he valued our connection.
“Find the remaining relics of Dian Cecht as soon as possible. If it’s something he left behind, it might possess the power to revive the dead.”
“…So Dian Cecht truly was a demi-god.”
Rue lightly turned his head towards the wall.
Crack.
A long crack appeared on the stone wall, soon followed by a massive gap. Two objects flew out from within the gap’s darkness.
One was Dian Cecht’s diary, stolen from the royal treasury. The other was an old seal.
“That seal is one of the relics?” I asked.
A low chuckle could be heard.
“Don’t covet it. I will keep it stored in the sanctuary.”
“What? Why?”
“Well? Did you plan to hide it in the Weatherwoods? Do you think it’s perfectly safe there?”
“Not exactly, but…”
Clang.
There was a sudden noise. I descended from the altar and turned my head towards the source of the noise.
The old vase sculpture had fallen to the ground, shattered into pieces.
Though it seemed insignificant, Rue’s expression was not pleased.
“What happened?”
“It’s a signal from Danahan.”
“And who is Danahan?”
“The butler of my house.
Oh, the butler assassin’s real name was Danahan? It really didn’t suit him.
“I told him to send a signal if there were any significant issues in Weatherwoods. You go back to Midwinterre first, Daisy. I will finish up things here, including Gavroche, and then chase after you.”
If he said he would take care of Andert, I could be relieved.
“What kind of issues?”
Rue, who had restored the vase with magic, turned to me and smiled mischievously.
“A secret.”
Those damned secrets.
“Urd, prepare the transportation to Midwinterre.”
Rue, who whispered softly towards the sky, took my hand again and walked quickly.
When we left the sanctuary and arrived at the blooming garden of Eden, there, in the middle, was a medium-sized aircraft that hadn’t been there before.
Rue escorted me as I boarded the white aircraft.
Will you come back? When will you come back? In the end, I could only bite my lip and let out a short sentence instead of those questions.
“Come back.”
Rue, who locked eyes with me for a long time, as if kissing me with them, whispered in a voice that could only reach my ears.
“See you.”
In any case, until the end…
The aircraft started.
I silently stared in the distance at the receding sanctuary, Calepa, through the window.
Rue would come back to me.
But when will he actually come back? Tomorrow? In two weeks? Six months? A year?
‘Well… if Rue doesn’t come back, I can go to him.’
I lifted myself up from the window, Leaving behind an indescribable sense of emptiness.
I arrived at Midwinterre much faster than I expected.
It took just a little over half a day, and when I left the airfield and arrived at the front gates of the Weatherwoods mansion, the sun was high in the sky.
‘Judging by the silence, Jean hasn’t arrived yet.’
Since the assassin-butler sent a signal about an urgent matter, I need to find out what it is. First, I should tidy up my belongings.
I had definitely returned home with that mindset.
“I’ll be straightforward, Miss Daisy. It may be a difficult request, but I hope you’ll seriously consider it.”
Even after the Head Maid discovered me and brought me in front of Malcolm, who seemed to have made good on his words to migrate here.
My mind was clearly filled with thoughts of organizing my belongings.
“After you left, I had a deep conversation with Mr. Malcolm. It was about the survival of our Weatherwoods family.”
That’s how it was…
“I’m not particularly interested in that, but can’t I put down the luggage first and then talk?”
“We determined that our Weatherwoods family is facing a crisis like never before. Unfortunately, during this dangerous time, the leader, who could overcome it and lead us, is absent.”
“That’s a very sad story. Can’t I put down the luggage first and then listen?”
“So, Miss Daisy Fager? Please become the new head of the Weatherwoods family.”
“…”
“And please lead the Weatherwoods family.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…Miss Daisy, are you listening to me?”
Am I listening? Of course, I am.
But, Head Maid.
“Is there a different me here by any chance?”
Rue being so selfish is why he’s also my favorite character. He’s like aint no way you living without me mam.
And he no longer calls her Miss Daisy… just Daisy aaa
Thank you for the chapter Ami and Asahisan!
I like this pacing. One serious chapter followed by info chapter and now it hints that shenanigans chapter is up next. Like a balanced full course meal it keeps me craving for more.
Aaaa. I’m gonna cry. This chapter was too cute and touching at the same time. 😭🤧💘