“Manage your expression.”
“…What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“It means not to show your emotions. Expressing anger won’t solve any problems. It will only expose your weaknesses. Maintain a cold facade while sharpening your inner blade. Make sure no one can sense what you’re harboring inside.”
They say that hidden anger is more terrifying. Just like how unseen flames are more frightening
‘But the incident doesn’t seem significant enough to contain anger inside…’
I pondered. Suddenly, I looked up and noticed Alex staring at me intently, causing him to avert his gaze
Although something seemed uneasy, it wasn’t important at the moment.
“You’ve met His Majesty before. How was it?”
“What?”
“Was he as just and righteous as he is generally known to be?”
“Well… outwardly, he appeared that way.”
“His true nature is different, isn’t it?”
“Well… not everyone has only one side.”
He changed the subject as I hesitated.
“Anyway, His Imperial Highness wants to meet you. When are you available?”
“I don’t have time.”
“You’re going to miss this opportunity? Are you crazy?”
“How many times do I have to say it? I’m crazy.”
“His Imperial Highness doesn’t have to meet you if you don’t want to. But the Second Prince is a no-go. I didn’t want to go this far, but he’s even less sane than you!”
“I’m aware of that.”
“What? How do you know? Have you two met? When? Where? You didn’t meet alone, did you? What did you do when you met?”
“We kissed… in an underground secret chamber.”
Before I could finish my sentence, Alex erupted in anger.
“What? Kiss, kiss, kiss…!”
“Kiss?”
“Quiet! I don’t want to hear such indecent words from my little sister’s mouth! So, you’re saying that Prince Dante did that with him, him, him?”
“Listen to what people say till the end. We didn’t do it, we just got close to the point of kissing.”
“Oh… Wait, why did you go that close? Are you crazy? Are you in your right mind?”
“Aren’t you tired of hearing that? If the conversation is over, leave.”
“Prince Dante is delivering a message!”
“I’m not interested.”
“Hey! Do you realize what kind of opportunity I arranged for you? This is all for your sake!”
“Since when have you been thinking about me? Stop talking nonsense and leave.”
“Astel!”
Alex jumped up and down before finally leaving.
Until he left, Dante kept saying not to do it, to meet Egrid once.
It was so noisy that it hurt my ears.
“I can’t figure out why he’s acting like this when he couldn’t even catch me before.”
…He wouldn’t really be trying to repay the favor of saving him, would he?
“Nah, there’s no way someone like Alex would do that.”
I waited until the sound of footsteps disappeared and then called for Genia.
“Lady, you called for me?”
“Tell Frank to come up quietly.”
“Quietly? Ah… Yes, understood.”
After a while, Frank came up. I pointed to the sofa.
“Sit.”
“Thank you. But what’s the matter…?”
“Tell me in detail what happened between His Majesty and the Duke 21 years ago.”
The expression disappeared from Frank’s face.
“Is it difficult to talk about? Did the Duke issue any orders?”
“Is it difficult to talk about? Did His Grace order you to keep silent?”
“It’s not that, but… I find it hard to judge whether I can speak about it or not.”
“Who said you had to judge? As the butler, you only need to follow my orders.”
“…Understood.”
Frank emptied his glass of water and stared into the empty space.
His wrinkled eyes were lost in reminiscence.
“At that time, the Duchess was having difficulty moving. Her feet were swollen, and she would wince in pain with every step.”
“Wasn’t there a party held at the palace back then?”
“Yes, it was difficult for her to attend, but His Majesty insisted.”
“In what way?”
“It was a party held to celebrate the Duke’s victory, and the Duchess asked if she should be absent.”
“….”
“In the end, the Duchess attended the party. And she was later found unconscious in the royal sponsor’s area.”
“The sponsor’s area?”
“Yes, her dress was soaked in blood… It seemed like she had collapsed on the stairs.”
So a pregnant woman who attended the party was found in the sponsor’s area?
I clenched my fist.
“And then?”
“The priests and healers were called from the temple, but the Duchess never regained consciousness.”
“….”
“She went into labor in that state. It was a premature birth, as the expected due date was still far away. And after that… It’s as the Lady knows.”
“….Leave.”
“What?”
“I said leave.”
Frank left the study in a bewildered state.
Left alone, I was trapped in the bedroom.
Jenia knocked on the door, but I didn’t respond.
“Marcella’s cause of death wasn’t childbirth, was it?”
Astel had never been free from guilt throughout her life.
The day she despised the most was her own birthday, and she suffered more from the fact that she was born by devouring her mother than from being called insane.
But wasn’t all of that someone else’s fault… Why did Astel have to suffer?
I lay on the bed, curling my body like a fetus. I wrapped the sheets around me, but it felt like a cold breeze was seeping through from somewhere.
My chest felt suffocated. I wanted to grab anyone and ask.
What should I do now?
“Holy See, are you there?”
The chat window remained silent.
* * *
Four days later, noon.
Duke Luteous uttered unbelievable words.
I thought I had misheard.
“….What?”
“He said he had made a reservation at the restaurant.”
“But why?”
“Prepare yourself.”
“Just a moment, are you saying you made a reservation at the restaurant for us to go together?”
“Yes.”
“….Could it be, dementia…”
“My mind is clear and sound. So—.”
He paused for a moment and slowly closed and opened his eyes.
His eyes, which had been full of anger, calmed down.
“Hurry and get ready.”
I had always felt it, Duke Luteous was surprisingly vulnerable to the attacks of age.
He seemed like he wouldn’t care about any words.
He didn’t seem to like being called a human or being old.
“I have a prior engagement, so I can’t spend too much time. I hope you make an appointment in advance next time. I’m not a person with a lot of free time, you know?”
“Are you busier than me?”
“….”
Since I had been restless all morning, I didn’t have any words to retort.
“Why go out to eat! There’s delicious food at home!”
I grumbled inwardly as I hurriedly finished dressing.
It was my first outing without a robe. I got on the carriage, ignoring the servants’ suspicious glances.
“I should have taken a different carriage…”
The quiet carriage felt so awkward. Even if I were with someone I had never seen before in my life, it wouldn’t have been like this.
Suppressing the feeling of suffocation as if I were being suffocated, we arrived at the restaurant before I knew it.
“There’s not a single customer.”
“I made the reservation.”
Arrogantly answering, he sat in front of the only table he had arranged in the restaurant.
“A table placed all alone in the middle of the restaurant.”
It seemed to perfectly reflect his self-centered and arrogant personality.
Sitting in the empty restaurant alone suited him so well.
As I sat in the chair, a waiter elegantly filled my glass with water.
My throat was dry from enduring the incredibly awkward atmosphere, so I raised the glass first.
“Why did you ask me to come to the restaurant? Is the food here that delicious?”
“This place is used when thorough security is needed.”
“Security?”
“This place is used when strict security is needed.”
“Security?”
“I heard it from Frank. You asked about the incident 21 years ago.”
“…Sniffle.”
I wiped away the tears that had welled up slightly from my lips.
I thought that the conversation would come up soon, but I never expected it to come so suddenly.
“I had a lot of questions. Did I think wrong?”
“No, not at all. I had many things I wanted to ask, and it’s good that it happened now.”
A few evenings ago, when I heard Frank’s words, I could sense it.
That someone was involved in Marcella’s accident.
But the reason I stayed silent was because he was an overwhelming figure.
If my prediction is correct, the only person who can safely inquire about this incident is Duke Luteous.
“My mother attended a party and had an accident. She couldn’t regain her consciousness and gave birth to me. Then she passed away. That’s all I’ve heard.”
“There is no mistake in that.”
“There are many strange aspects to it. Don’t parties usually take place at night?”
“It was past 10 p.m.”
“Well, it must have been very dark. Especially in a place like a mansion.”
“Because it was the royal family, it wouldn’t have been that dark. The palace always keeps the lights on to prevent assassinations.”
“But it wouldn’t be as bright as indoors, right? And if it’s a mansion, there could be things to trip over.”
“The palace gardens are not that dangerous. They are always well-maintained.”
“No, even if I had a child, I wouldn’t go out at night no matter how safe it was.”
“….”
“But why did my mother do that? Her feet were swollen, and she had difficulty moving.”
At that moment, the appetizers arrived.
Duke Luteous, who had been silently staring at the small salad plate, finally spoke.
“When I returned…”
From his mouth, a secret that had been hidden for 21 years flowed out.
