I Don’t Trust My Twin Sister

“It’s better not to say unnecessary things, little sister.”

 

“Useless? No. My sister is still trying to avoid it. She is trying to turn her eyes away from the truth, just like then.”

 

Just then? Narrowing her eyes, Ercia moved her bomb to her other hand and lazily clucked her chin.

 

“How many people know my sister’s true self: she was cowardly and mean-spirited, and did things in a way that made others perceive her in a disastrous way?”

 

She grinned and then looked back at Ian.

 

“Do you know that her sister has a scarlet mark on her wrist? Have you seen it?”

 

Ercia looked at him, smiled and nodded.

 

“I guess you saw it. You probably saw her scar and thought it was really bad. She had an incredibly long and deep scar that couldn’t be considered a simple accident. You must have also seen her sister ignore the scar. Is that right?”

 

Ercia looked at me again with her smiling face.

 

“She is such a bad person. She is cowardly, petty and childish. She is the kind of person who will do anything if she is not loved and noticed.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“What do you mean? That attitude right now is the problem. Even when I try to give her the answer and revive her memory, she pretends not to know, pretends not to remember, closes all the doors and turns away.”

 

As she laughed, the bomb in her hand trembled uneasily. At this distance, it seemed like Ian would be able to retrieve the bomb before Ercia could react. However, the identity of the man next to me also bothered me, and more than anything, Ercia’s attitude made me uncomfortable. I raised my eyebrows and opened my mouth at Ercia, who took issue with my appearance.

 

“You’re saying you don’t remember? If anything, aren’t you even more stupid for trying to destroy the family that protects you? What can you do when you’re nothing? What can you do if you give up your status as a noble lady? Huh?! “

 

“Nothing, nothing can be done. But that is enough.”

 

She had a cold expression.

 

“If only I could get revenge on my sister.”

 

“Revenge?”

 

“Yes, revenge! Revenge for your sins of pretending that other people’s sacrifices were my own, and for criticizing and belittling me for the love and attention I gained by sacrificing my family! That’s enough.”

 

“You’re crazy.”

 

“No, I wasn’t. The crazy one must be my sister. Otherwise she wouldn’t have cut her own wrists just because she wanted to be loved, right?”

 

Ercia looked at my hand and neck with her knife-sharp smile. It felt like something had fallen on her head. What did you just say… I hated my younger sister who was loved more and evaluated better than me, and wanted to receive that love from her, so she cut her wrists with a knife… What shall I tell her? Can I do it?”

 

“Lie.”

 

“Are you lying? Then why is there a scar on her sister’s wrist that isn’t on mine?”

 

“That was a simple accident…”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous! A simple accident can produce such stab wounds? That’s bullshit. Sister, no matter how hard she tries to hide her own memories, it’s true. She was jealous and envious of me, so she slit her wrists. “

 

Do not be ridiculous. That can’t be possible.

 

“She even pushed me down the stairs because she hated me for outperforming her older sister.”

 

No, I can’t do that. I don’t remember anything like that. This is all manipulation. Lies, lies, lies!

 

“Then, when I started receiving attention from people, they threw cheap sympathy at me as if I had forgotten all my memories. When I lost my parents and became a loner, she took everything with the sole intention of protecting the family. The position I should have enjoyed, the person I should have had, the love I should have received, and even my status, I sacrificed myself to live alone in the light?! And now you’re blaming me?!”

 

Ercia snorted lowly and stared at me with cold eyes.

 

“You don’t deserve that. No, our family doesn’t deserve that. The family that made your twin sister a patient and pushed her into a corner in the name of protecting the family would rather fall. Go!”

 

“No… that’s not true… no…!”

 

My mind rose. Her eyesight blurred and her body felt weak. It was someone else’s hands and shoulders that supported me when I felt like I was going to collapse at any moment. My sister’s voice fell over my head as she lowered her head.

 

“Lie? Yes, it would be better if it were a lie. But… unfortunately, there is someone else who knows all of this besides me.”

 

I raised my head. Ercia looked at me with a sneer on her face and uttered her last words.

 

“Viscount Ajstain, whom my sister loves and respects so much, and her grandfather is one of them.”

 

* * *

 

A dream I had a while ago came to mind again. In her dream, Ercia slit her wrists because she felt unloved. I sympathized with her pain so deeply that I felt pitiful for her as she cried at the sight. Because it was my twin, I could sense her sadness. So even though she couldn’t accept that decision, I thought she could understand. Although she was born on the same day and in the same boat, her abilities and seemingly different achievements are different. It’s been like that since I was very young. One child learned to write quickly, but the other child was still clumsy. As I got older, the difference became more evident. One side wasn’t slow. It was just mediocre, but the problem was that one side achieved results that were commonly considered geniuses. The differences between the twins were compared and it felt like one was left behind. It wasn’t an intention to show favoritism, but parents’ attention naturally focused on outstanding children. What a child who was left out of her attention and unloved would do was bound to be extreme. I thought that child was Ercia. But there were no scars on my younger brother’s wrists. On the other hand, there was a trace of a long stab wound on my wrist. I believed it was a simple accident. But what if that’s not the case? If what Ercia said is true…

 

“I can not believe it.”

 

“Are you even going to deny your grandfather’s memories? To hide your own past? Sister, that’s amazing.”

 

“That’s not what grandfather said, so why should I believe what you said? There’s no proof.”

 

“Do you want to say that the cut on your wrist is just a scar or wound from an accident? Then, may I ask?”

 

She grinned and looked at Benson.

 

“If you are someone who wields a sword, you would know well. Does the scar on my sister’s wrist look like it was caused by an accident?”

 

Benson’s eyes fell on my wrist. Ian shook his head and took me away from him, and Benson bit his lip. Why… why did you hide me? All you have to do is show it and prove it’s not true! No problem, then! When he looked up at Ian, he too was biting his lip slightly. What do you know, Ian?

 

“Men, well, let me tell you. If someone else had tried to harm you, there wouldn’t have been so many solid lines. And if it had been drawn by an assassin targeting your sister, it would have left a deeper scar.”

 

“What if you tried to hurt me?”

 

“Are you serious about that? I tried to scar you? Why me?”

 

“I run more…”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous! That’s an illusion!”

 

Ercia growled harshly. The narrow space was filled with the force of her voice. The gaze glaring at me with a distorted expression was harsh.

 

“…It’s really the worst, really.”

 

“Err…”

 

“Did you come to me that day and ask to talk even though you don’t remember anything?”

 

Ersia’s red-faced expression was distorted harshly. She seemed to be holding something back. If it’s that day…

 

“I don’t know if that voice asking if we are family knows how foolish that question is to me. I haven’t had a choice since I was little. Don’t you, sister?”

 

Ercia sighed, her expression relaxed, and she forced a smile and raised the corners of her mouth. She moved her hand up to her slit. After covering her palm over the bomb, her eyes opened weakly.

 

“So, since I have no choice, this is the only thing I can do.”

 

“Ercia, that’s not true. Just calm down first…”

 

“I’m always calm. Even though I look excited and sharp, I’ve always been cool and collected. I’m just as cool now as I was when I did something disgusting to make what was mine mine. So don’t say things like that.”

 

I didn’t know what to say. When I thought about what Ercia would do, I felt horrified. Her words were confusing, but the bomb itself in her hand added to her confusion. Why did this happen? What was the problem? I thought that if I simply went back to the past and defeated Beralt and Ercia, life would become a little easier. But it was flowing in a completely wrong direction. Moreover, I couldn’t believe that I had such a past. Did I harm myself? To receive love? I kept whispering to myself that it couldn’t be like that. From a young age, I sacrificed himself for Ercia. My parents’ love was focused on the sick Ersia. After our parents died, my life disappeared. It was a life for family and clan. But I have a past like that? It is a lie. I wanted to believe it was a lie. But what about this scar…

 

“Thank you. That’s what I meant.”

 

When I turned my head, Ercia was smiling faintly. Her ever-changing facial expression clearly expressed her emotions. Sadness, anger, nostalgia, and gratitude were revealed. When I looked at her face, my emotions boiled up from so deep that I couldn’t hide my complicated feelings.

 

“I was quite grateful when you asked if we were still family. Isn’t it funny? More than anything, I hated and disliked my older sister and wanted to take her place, but those few words from her made me think that there might still be a way back. But… my sister still couldn’t remember anything. She used to be like that, she was like that then and she is like that now. Her insatiable chasm is so deep that no amount of words can fill it.”

 

“We can make up for it again. Ercia, we are still family… The only twins in the world. That’s you and me. My younger sister, my family, Erci…”

 

“It’s late, sister.”

 

I extended my hand to her sister, who took a step back. Ercia was shaking her head.

 

“Maybe we diverged too much. We were just focused on hating each other. Then I opened my eyes and found myself here.”

 

“Ercia…”

 

“Do you still see me as family? Are you pushing me into the family fence just to protect the family? I want to ask you, sister. I wanted to ask you why you said that to me, and why you are still family. Did you ask this as a way to keep an eye on me, or did you just feel sympathy for me, Lawrence?”

 

I just wanted to ask. Can we still go back? Even if you led me to destruction once, I wanted to believe that it wasn’t entirely your fault. There must be some connection. There must have been an unclean hand that led our family to destruction.I wondered if we could go back to the past and if our relationship would become harmonious again if I could stop you, who ran at a merciless speed with no one to stop you.

 

“But unfortunately, sister, if you have forgotten all the memories of that day, I can’t tell you anything. I have no choice but to make this choice.”

 

“Stop…”

 

“We were born at the same time and grew up in the same place, so it would be natural for us to return home together. So, I don’t feel unfair. People will remember it this way. The younger sister, Ercia, who went crazy in the dark, could not overcome her anger and exploded a bomb. She led the family, her family, and countless people to destruction, and she is the main character this time too.”

 

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Translator Note: