Smiling faces, crying faces, frowning eyebrows and quick eyesight to understand the situation. Lawrence tried to suppress her feelings, but she wasn’t about to fool herself.
“…”
But this was the first time he had seen her sleeping so lovingly. She was completely defenseless. He eventually laid down his body next to the sleeping girl and stretched out her hand. When he lifted her index finger, the candles that had been lighting up the room fluttered, flew through the air, and disappeared in a single cone at the tip of her finger. Laurencia rubbed her eyes and he smiled. She looked like a baby. What did she say earlier? Older? Was she older than him?
“How can you say you’re old when you look so pure?”
He was sorry to have eaten her, but if Lawrence wanted him a little more, he wouldn’t know what to do. It would be difficult to expect it if she was so innocent and fell asleep even with a man in front of her. After poking her cheek, he kissed it and quietly opened his mouth.
“You can dream about me. It’s better if it’s sexy, and I’m going to have sexy dreams about Lawrence.”
It was so dark that it somehow made me laugh. I wish Laurencia had become a little more corrupt.
* * *
I never really dreamed. I always worked until I was tired, then fell asleep, and forced myself to wake up the next day when I couldn’t open my eyes. Fatigue naturally accumulated, and that fatigue naturally melted into my body and became a pattern. It was the same when I came back. When I finished work, I stayed in the office until the end, and if necessary, I often stayed all night. I thought it was possible because I was still young, but I don’t know if it was true that my body was weakened that much. But not today. The dream was vivid and memorable. Clicking his tongue lowly, he got up, sat down against the wall of the bed, and lowered his head. The unpleasant dream came back to me again. It’s a dream that will disappear as usual, but why does it come back again? My eyes narrowed. It’s all because of Ian. It’s because I asked something strange for no reason.
“Ugh… the head.”
I spread my palms out and covered my face. I gently pressed my temples with my thumb and middle finger. Because of the alcohol I drank yesterday, I had a headache and suddenly started to scream in pain. I lost my memory after drinking one drink… I never thought I would be that weak at drinking. No, is that alcohol strong? I bent my neck, leaned my head against the wall, and closed my eyes. I can’t remember what happened last night, but the dream came back to me. He moved his hand slowly and caressed my wrist. The wrist with the thin solid line drawn was a memory that even I had forgotten. A memory that was so faint that I couldn’t even remember it. But in my dream, I learned why I had a scar. Out of bad luck, Ercia appeared in my dream. It was when she was a child, before she was even ten years old… when our mother and father were alive. At the time, I was pretty close to Elsia, so we stayed close for a while. But our parents came up to me and complimented me. I think it was because I was taking good care of my sick younger sister. But she was so dissatisfied with it that she cut her own wrists that night. She seemed to have made the extreme choice because she knew that if she got sick she would be taken care of. As she did so, she cried. I cried too as I saw her blood pouring out. ‘Don’t be sick’, I cried. Not knowing what my stupid sister had done, I just hoped she wouldn’t get sick. Ersia killed her dry lips with her tongue, even though she was just a lump of pretense. That day, as I looked at Ercia, bleeding, being held by our parents, all I could think was that I could not understand why she had done such a thing. Did she like being sick? Did she really want to be sick? Was this the only way to receive her love? Because I couldn’t understand, she tried to understand. The result was betrayal, but… The dream ended there. After that dream, the past of Ercia and I filled my mind and made my head hurt. I looked at my wrist again. Thin solid line… I tilted my head. Why was it that there were traces of Ercia’s wounds on my wrists? I couldn’t understand the fragments of the dream that strangely didn’t fit together. It was Ersia who was sick, but why was her home site left in my hands? Could it be that my memory was wrong? Did I remember something that never happened? Or was it a combination of other incidents? I vaguely remembered this incident. Although it’s vague because it’s been over 20 years. Did I remember this accident accurately? Was what I saw in my dream accurate? No.
“Miss, are you awake?”
When the door opened and I saw her sticking her head out, I was startled, my eyes widened and she flinched. Seeing my startled appearance, Yuli was equally surprised and came in quickly and bowed deeply.
“Sin, sin, I’m sorry, Miss! No matter how many times I called, there was no answer, so I opened the door rudely! I’m sorry!”
My shoulders gradually sank as I saw the child trembling as if she might fall to her knees. She covered her eyes with her palms. I was just about to think of something, but it passed and disappeared in an instant. Even if I tried to recall it again, I didn’t think it would come back anytime soon, so I sighed and lowered her legs down the bed.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about it.”
A field maid had the duty of waking her master from his sleep. So it wasn’t a big deal for her to come in in the morning when there was no answer to her knock. Other nobles get angry at maids who come in at will and even stab them with their hands, but how can they slap that child? She was half my age before she came to the past. She made sure that her back was straightened again and took off the bulio (a loose, loose-fitting, gown-like garment that goes down to her waist) that was on her body. She had slept in her clothes from last night and felt uncomfortable in them. I roughly took off my bulio and untied the laces of my chemise, and it slid down, allowing me to be free in an instant. She lightly put on the slip gown that was lying on the table and tied her straps.
“Ah, lady!”
Normally, she would follow me and serve me, but at Yuli’s urgent cries, she turned her head with puzzled eyes. Her face had turned very red, her eyes were shaking, and her expression seemed more urgent than anything else. Why is it like that? This wasn’t the first time you’ve seen me naked. Her ringing puckered her mouth like a goldfish. Where does it hurt? Or do you have anything to say? I didn’t know what it was, but I felt uncomfortable and wanted to wash it right away.
“Tell me later, I’m tired because I didn’t sleep well at night. Right now, I want to soak my body in warm water, so if it’s not important, let’s talk about it later.”
“Well, that’s not it…”
“What’s wrong…?”
Yuli ‘s attitude of constantly trying to stop me was strange, so I turned my head. Her puffy lips did not open easily. Turning her head, she grabbed the door handle of her bathroom and twisted it. I could feel quite thick steam and heat through the tom. Since it is a place that no one but me can use, the hazy steam and warmth are unthinkable. Her eyes darted from bottom to top. A feast of sleek muscles unfolded in front of the bathroom, which was not that big compared to the room but could easily accommodate ten people. The man’s body was slightly red, and droplets of water flowed on its surface. My thoughts were interrupted the moment my eyes recognized the body of the man already occupying the bathroom.
“…”
“Ah, lady.”
Yuli rushed over, wrapped a large towel around my body, and threw the towel at the man with strong, flashy muscles. The man also looked at me and his body with a puzzled face.
“Uh… So…”
Ian, the man who stuttered, looked at my face with a blank expression, smiled cautiously, and scratched his head. And then he awkwardly opened his mouth.
“…so?”
My body lost strength. I was falling down. Ian grabbed me and immediately released me. His face was turning red. Even as Ian was struggling, not knowing what to do, a clear wave appeared in my eyes. I’d rather show my naked body. To see the body of a man I had never seen so clearly. It was a situation that could not be easily handled.
“Gwae, are you okay?!”
Was I okay? Was I?
“…Why are you here?”
“Well, that’s…”
My eyes widened at the sudden realization that struck me. I reached out my hand and pushed his body away, then hurriedly groped my body. Ian looked at my actions blankly and quickly waved his hand, but my voice was already bursting out.
“You wolf bastard!”
* * *
The rumor spread. The story goes that Ian and I had an intense night, and it was such a hot night that I couldn’t use my blanket any more, so I had to take it to the laundry, and the kicking matriarch, who suffered all night long, lost all strength in her legs and collapsed. Ian flinched as he sighed. How did this rumor start to spread? It was so unfair. If the wall between the two had really collapsed after spending the forbidden night, there was nothing done. My body was fine. How intense… I closed my eyes. Who on earth started this rumor? I opened my eyes and looked at Yuli. When our eyes met, Yuli lowered her head with a bright smile on her face. Was she? Did she really come out with those words? From the mouth of a fourteen-year-old, it’s a violent night… Was that something like that? huh? I wanted to believe it wasn’t true, but after glaring at the maid without her answer, I looked at Ian this time. In the first place, this person was the problem. Why did you wash up in the bathroom in my room? The number of bathrooms in this castle alone is over twenty. But why…? Could it be that we slept in the same room? After losing my memory of yesterday, I couldn’t quite remember how I got into bed. However, the brain that returned to normal concluded that the person was not particularly worthy of doing such a thing. Could it be that that person touched me secretly? At least from what I observed from the side, Ian was not a great person who would do such a perverted thing. But he’s a little proud. Am I that unattractive? Shouldn’t you at least touch it or kiss it? Did you really not touch a single fingertip? I looked at him intently. Ian caught my gaze and smiled awkwardly.
“…Don’t laugh.”
Ian laughed awkwardly again at the harsh expression and tone of voice. Oh, this isn’t it, I was the one who rudely opened the door and he suffered damage. If I want to apologize, I have to do it. Um… But it’s true that I also suffered damage. It’s my first time seeing a man naked like that, so it’s a huge mental blow.
“Don’t laugh. Do you think you can laugh?”
The corners of Ian’s mouth, which had been slightly raised, became straight again. I looked at his face with his eyes rolling over and over again and sighed again. Why are you paying more attention to me? Did you do something really strange? He bit his lip. I was upset because I regretted the words I had said and because of the nonsense I heard around me. Also, doubts, disappointment, and resentment piled on top of whether I was unattractive. What kind of complex emotions are there? As I got older, I thought I was living my life by looking at things rationally, making judgments, and suppressing my emotions as much as possible, but I found myself struggling in a whirlwind of all kinds of emotions, like an adolescent girl. If my past self had seen it, I probably would have laughed at it. What’s more, it’s so embarrassing that it’s hard to even make eye contact. What’s wrong with that? What… I should be angry because I’m ashamed and embarrassed, why am I disappointed there? Do you think this makes sense?
“…”
If you think about it, it makes sense. Now, we had already shared our feelings to the extent that we both knew each other. I guess it has to do with age. I guess the atmosphere was good because we drank alcohol. Don’t you think you should have at least lifted a finger?
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Translator Note:
Hello there! This is RJR. I hope you liked it <3
If you like my work please support me with Ko-fi or Patreon. Next post will be released on November, 9.
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