“Episode 50”
The meaning of the hesitant boy’s words was quickly understood. As soon as Ray lost interest, the lingering shadow of childhood stopped in its tracks. Then, when the boy turned to check, it began to split into four as if it had been waiting.
Fifteen-year-old Ray holding the hand of young Ray. Nineteen-year-old Ray placing a hand on young Heeshe’s shoulder. Even the seemingly adult boy was sending a stare as menacing as bared teeth. But had they lost interest? Somehow, they no longer chased after her.
Meanwhile, the blue garden had transformed into a maze, as if trying to block running feet. At every turn, flowers raised their thorns and tangled stems to create walls in disorderly fashion. It was an overt obstruction, preventing her from leaving. The boy was angry, and Ray was puzzled.
“Why is it like this here?”
“It’s to keep you from leaving.”
“Who?”
This was the garden that Clothan had given her as a gift. Although she had only seen it on the day she entered the annex, it had never been so intricate and dangerous before. Naturally, there were no flowers or stems springing up to block her path. Above all, she had never felt as if she were circling the same place repeatedly. However, this garden, with the boy running through it, seemed to refuse to acknowledge her as the owner, setting up thorns and hindrances at every turn.
“Ray, there’s a way out.”
Once again, as they turned back after being blocked, the boy spoke meaningfully. “You may not remember, but you can recall it.”
His voice, spoken almost imploringly, was thick with concern. Now, it seemed the boy was determined to protect her like a guardian. As the doubts that had gathered in Ray’s mind began to unravel like strands of yarn, she asked, “Who are you?”
“The one who’s been watching over you.”
“Me?”
His voice didn’t sound like a lie. “But why?”
At that moment, a peculiar fact caught Ray’s eye. The boy running with his hair fluttering in the wind had no shadow. The same went for those ominous figures that had been pursuing her earlier. In this beautiful garden, she was the only one with a shadow.
“Why have you been watching over me?”
Behind Ray stood dozens of people, each with crimson eyes, all resembling Ray but differing in age. There was Ray who first met the rabbit doll. The Ray who got scolded for secretly applying to the girls’ school. Rays in various situations stood in a row, glaring at the boy near the golden door as if to kill him.
“For a while, you’ll forget about me, Ray.”
The boy kissed Ray’s hand as if greeting her. “Remember how you got here, at least that much.”
As soon as the winter-cold lips of the boy touched Ray’s hand, the group behind her began to rampage. After sending jeers in an unfamiliar voice, they rushed towards Ray from behind.
“Ah!”
An arm grabbed Ray from behind, while arms protruding from both sides wrapped around her neck and legs, dragging her backward as if pulling her out of a hatch at the top of a cliff.
With fingers inside her mouth preventing her from screaming, Ray signaled desperately with her eyes for help from the boy, who stood still, silently watching her with wide eyes, not even showing a facial expression indicating that he couldn’t bear to see it, but staring at her until the end.
Captured by dozens of hands, Ray was dragged deep into the garden. No matter how she struggled, it was futile resistance. Even biting the fingers that entered her mouth did not elicit a scream.
Clothan. Ray inwardly cried out that name regretfully as she tried to break free. Her fearful heart beat wildly, and with tear-filled eyes, she prayed to the gods. But the number of them reached deeper into the garden, as if casting a curse, with eyeballs filled to the brim watching only Ray.
Just then, as if they had cursed her, Ray’s fingertips also turned red. The faint color crawled up Ray’s elbow, then up her forearm and neck to her eyebrows. Another color refused to forgive. Only her skin remained red as if stained with blood.
No, she didn’t want this. She didn’t want to be tied to the garden, becoming the same as them. She struggled with all her might, but her arms and legs bound in the blue garden remained cruelly restrained.
Clothan. As he fumbled in the spot where Ray had left, the confused man came to mind. His eyes burning with betrayal. His lips that seemed to confess his regret. He had suffered, thinking he might hear nothing but Ray’s resentful voice for the rest of his life.
“I don’t want this…”
Crushed by unbearable pain, Ray gasped for breath. Although she thrashed her arms and legs with all her strength, a large hand grabbed her shoulder and shook her.
“I don’t want this. Let me go!”
But it was a hand that couldn’t give up. Ray even thought of digging the ground to push away, but instead, the hand wrapped around Ray’s waist and lifted her up. A strange breeze blew.
“Ray.”
The voice that entered her ear woke her up. Ray opened her eyes, sweating coldly. The familiar ceiling was overhead. It felt like a dream. And there was Clothan, looking at her with worried eyes.
“I think you had a nightmare.”
Seeing Ray unable to wipe her flowing tears, his approaching finger casually wiped them away.
“What kind of dream was it?”
His scent that she could smell, his fingers that warmly touched her. Ray didn’t need to pinch her cheek to know.
“What was the dream, Ray?”
Staring at him dumbfoundedly, unable to speak, Ray blinked her eyes three times.
“Clothan.”
It was strange. Not a single detail from the gripping nightmare just moments ago came to mind. Only one thing was clear. That unmistakable one was speaking.
“I’m not hungry anymore.”
Ray no longer felt the agonizing hunger that had been squeezing her.
