“Medicine, she says.”
Kaela had cried her heart out. After nearly collapsing from dehydration, she nodded after drinking half of the water Peon offered.
“Yes. It’s interesting how the same herb can be either a deadly poison or beneficial medicine, depending on how it’s used.”
Having heard so many concerns about her weakness, Kaela tried to improve herself. So she searched and searched for things that would be good for her body.
But why perfura and carradin, of all things? Starting with the raw ingredients of the poison she drank and collapsed from right in front of Peon.
“……I got them easily because they offer priority purchasing to customers with purchase history……. Those are really hard to get…….”
Kaela mumbled in her characteristic way while avoiding his gaze. She seemed extremely apologetic, even hanging her head low.
“And they say it’s the best…….”
“The doctor must have been excited about such expensive herbs.”
Kaela’s shoulders slumped even more. Peon, disliking this sight, made her straighten her shoulders and lift her head.
“Your neck will hurt. Lift your head and drink more water.”
“I’ve had plenty.”
Her small appetite applies to water too. As she tried to subtly push away the water glass, he firmly placed it in her hands.
“I’m grateful that you listened to me, but no medicine in the world is better than the energy I give you, Kaela.”
She immediately pulled the glass away from her lips and pouted.
“You always say I’m weak even though I take it every day.”
“It just takes time to recover.”
“It shouldn’t take long.”
Peon looked at Kaela with puzzlement.
“Why not?”
When we have all the time in the world.
“Why? We should do everything that others do too!”
Kaela, who had suddenly raised her voice, slumped her shoulders as if exhausted from the effort.
“You only have me. So, I want to do more for you.”
Behind those grand titles like “Conqueror of the North” and “The Undefeated Knight,” all that remained in his barren, desolate life was just Kaela. She wanted to add to that life the things that everyone else gets to enjoy.
Only she could add to it. Because in many different ways, Kaela was the only one Peon allowed. So she needed to get healthy. She wanted to. That’s why she had done this, willing to try anything supposedly good for her body.
Peon spoke with a troubled expression.
“I appreciate it, but for now, I’d like you to finish that water.”
How dare he deflect! Kaela shot him a glare but gulped down all the water anyway.
“I’m full.”
As usual, she naturally hands the empty glass to Peon. The esteemed Grand Duchess has now grown accustomed to treating her husband as someone who serves her meals. It was what he intended.
Peon roughly set aside the glass and pulled Kaela close. He gently caressed her barely dried cheeks, held her tighter in his arms, and met her eyes.
When they had first married, she would avoid his gaze for no reason, but now she closes her eyes first, knowing well what he intends to do. Peon kissed her with a low chuckle.
Though he wanted to feed her something, for now, sharing his life force would be most effective. As he kissed her very carefully and softly, Kaela gradually went limp.
In this state, she probably wouldn’t even have the strength to eat. She must be tired from crying, getting angry, and hitting Peon. He slowly transferred energy to his wife, who had already started nodding off.
“Kaela.”
Unable to fight her heavy eyelids, Kaela just leaned against him and received his kisses.
“Earlier, when you said we should sleep separately, were you serious?”
While giving her light kisses one after another, Peon casually asked.
After expending a lot of energy, Kaela would quickly fall asleep like a powerless child. So when she was drowsy, he could get honest answers by asking carefully.
“……Yes, of course…….”
Damn it. Peon quickly stroked her eyes closed. Good thing he had instinctively gotten down on his knees first.
Of course. She’s the only woman who brought down an empire by refusing to listen to others, never wavering from what she set her mind to.
With such a slender, delicate body, she cried her heart out as if she might die, and she’s so stubborn – she wouldn’t have said those words for no reason. He felt dizzy at the thought that he had almost ended up living alone during these good times, but he actually knew.
If Kaela hadn’t been hurt, she wouldn’t have even uttered the word “separate rooms.” Despite having no need to in this relationship, she would have gotten upset needlessly and been quick to take offense.
She would have had concerns typical of young ladies her age, wondering “how much does he like me?” when it came to Peon. That kind of love from Kaela – blindly pouring everything into this relationship – is now gone. He can never receive it again.
Has your heart grown cold? ……Yes, I expected this.
Though it’s impossible, if their relationship were to break, Kaela would easily accept it, nod her head, and turn away. She would never try to hold him back, and she would forget him without a single regret.
Meanwhile, Peon had come to feel that life itself had no value without her. This relationship tilted completely the moment he ruined it. The Kaela who used to pour out endless love and blindly dedicate herself to him is now gone.
‘Separate rooms, she says.’
Separate rooms means living apart, and living apart ultimately means divorce, doesn’t it? She could say such things so casually, and even when she got irritated saying she didn’t want to eat this or that and just being stubborn, Kaela was beautiful. Insanely beautiful.
He heaved a deep sigh and rubbed his face. In this relationship, he was the vulnerable one. He was the one helplessly swayed by terrifying words that came out so easily – separate rooms, living apart, divorce.
He was the one who had to worry about being abandoned at any time, watching for signs of whether she had grown tired of him or come to dislike him, trying his best to be loved. He had lost that unconditional, taken-for-granted love. He would never get it back.
‘I should never have hurt you. I should never have abandoned you in the end.’
If he hadn’t, he would still be receiving that pure first love.
He wouldn’t have had to miserably scrape his brain trying to pull up old memories. He wouldn’t have needed to keep revisiting them, trying not to forget by consoling himself that he had once received such love.
Though he was plenty happy now, sometimes he clearly recognized what he had lost and felt piercing regret. Anyone would regret losing such beautiful feelings.
Especially for someone like Peon who had nothing, it was an even more painful loss. But who could he blame? It was Peon himself who had thrown away the balance of their relationship that had been clearly tilted in his favor.
‘I was arrogant.’
He had taken it for granted that Kaela would like him without even maintaining her pride.
This was just the rightful consequence of not appreciating that affection and treating it carelessly. Though he knew this, yearning for what was lost was instinctive, so Peon gazed at Kaela for a long while, dwelling on the past.
‘……Separate rooms, she says.’
Another sigh, who knows how many it had been, escaped him.
****
She had slept very sweetly for once. Despite having nothing but a glass of water, she felt energetic.
Kaela rubbed her eyes and looked around. Flowers bloomed abundantly beside the bed, and the bedding was so soft it seemed like it might melt away.
From the headboard to the ceiling, the bed’s large circular curve draped with curtains like a waterfall.
Though soft light was visible, the familiar figure had blocked it, worried it might hurt her eyes. The muscular body, precisely defined and solidly built, was holding her.
‘Oh? Is he sleeping?’
The only man in the world who could hold her in bed had his eyes closed. Since it was very rare to see Peon sleeping, Kaela immediately held her breath.
His slightly long black hair was scattered, and beneath it, the eyes that were always tired and indifferent were closed. She wanted to touch him but that would wake him up.
Unlike Kaela, who had become increasingly dulled after experiencing harsh tragedy, the man who loved her had become increasingly sensitive. He responded most sharply and quickly to her small, slow movements.
‘That could have been really bad earlier.’
What would Peon, with his reddened eyes, have done? Since he grabbed her ankle first, he would have surely started by confining her to his lair.
There’s no telling how far he might go crazy. But she wasn’t scared. Because either way, Kaela wouldn’t get hurt.
It was a brazen thought that only someone receiving affection could have. Or perhaps it was certainty. Kaela, who habitually doubted everything, saw the purple eyes finally opening.
“……Did you sleep well?”
Peon asked first before Kaela could. She nodded. She wasn’t sure if it was morning, night, or afternoon now.
Such things weren’t important. Their casually tangled legs were warm, the embrace and stretched blanket were soft, and their gazes remained locked. This moment was the best, the most okay.
Peon always approached first. He moved his body before even thinking about controlling or restraining his impulses.
How could he not kiss her when those jewel-like blue eyes were looking at him, in that face framed by luxuriant, glossy platinum blonde hair?
“How do you feel? I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
“It’s okay.”
Only after hearing laughter from within his arms could Peon finally feel at ease. Kaela was recovering her mood more and more quickly after getting angry, depressed, and crying.
“I nagged too much. You don’t need to feel pressured.”
Peon held her and kissed her forehead.
“We just have the same feelings, you and I.”
Kaela laughed. He worried about her too, and she just wanted to ease his worries and give him something more.
Even without saying it explicitly, Peon would probably know that too. Sometimes exchanged glances are enough. If anything needed to be said, it was just one thing:
“I love you.”
There was no returning answer, but Peon understood perfectly well when those blue eyes that always struggled just smiled gently. That desire to give him an ordinary daily life was too overwhelming an affection for him.
“Kaela.”
It was just that kind of moment. A moment where they already knew everything without needing to confirm or ask anything, naturally seeping in. Their gazes intertwined, and reaching out to touch was completely natural.
“Will you be alright?”
But until the very end, that careful question asking permission never fails to come. Kaela nodded with a smile. Peon measured his wife, who fit entirely in one hand, with quite troubled eyes. She embraced him first.
“I want to do it.”
This is what’s difficult. Peon just held Kaela tightly.
“I tire quickly, so it’s better to catch it before the feeling disappears.”
“But can you handle it?”
“That’s for you to figure out.”
Kaela, prim yet unabashedly showing her desire, naturally climbed onto his body. Then she smiled softly.
Should I use medicine? Peon swallowed a bitter smile as he grabbed the back of Kaela’s head and pulled her close. He would have to maintain his sanity for several days straight, but it seemed dangerous. Though dangerous, he couldn’t resist either.
The mad dragon held his wife, who was both the cause of this madness and the one who easily set fire to it, and stroked her soft skin. At his much more careful touch than when just holding her, Kaela immediately looked at him with eyes that seemed to ask what this was about.
“Don’t be impatient.”
Please. Peon muttered while setting his teeth against her nape.
“We have to go slowly to last longer.”
“It’s not just once?”
“You provoke first and then expect just once?”
At his low laughing voice, Kaela felt a chill down her spine. Belatedly, her blue eyes rolled around.
“Well, you know, you’re capable…”
The small woman’s survival instinct activated as she desperately searched for a way out.
“Oh really?”
The mad dragon who had placed that woman on top of him asked back with a smile.
“So, even just once would be plenty enough……”
“Just once, honey.”
His fingers traced down her spine, catching on the thin clothes. The fabric was pathetically weak to stop his hands.
“When have I ever finished with just once?”
In an instant, their positions were reversed. Kaela made a distressed face at the clothes falling to the floor.
“Can’t we have a simple, ordinary relationship?”
Do we always have to end with crying uncontrollably until passing out like this!
“It seemed possible until just now, but I guess not. How dare you treat your husband like an incompetent man who can’t perform his duties properly.”
“No, no I never…!”
Her words began to break off. Ah. At last, the long pleasure began. A time filled with ecstasy so intense it made her shiver, and overwhelming pleasure, would stretch out very long and persistently.
“Kaela.”
Even the way he called her name was frighteningly sweet. He constantly gauged his wife’s stamina and health – she who was now too soft and tender, with decent weight gain that made him happy.
He thoroughly calculated how far he could let his madness show. Well. Even as he calculated, Peon tilted his head and smiled.
His head was already consumed by heat and wouldn’t work for calculations. Really, today wasn’t going to work.
“I’ll do what you like.”
You always like it when I prove how crazy I am for you.
