There are obvious things happening that don’t need much piecing together. Like how the prominent tailors in Craine suddenly stopped taking appointments, or how jewelers were summoned to the royal palace en masse – sudden events that seemed random but were ultimately predictable.
The former meant Beatrice Ravalley had started choosing her outfit for the engagement ceremony, and the latter meant the Marchioness of Schroz was planning to decorate the engagement ceremony with jewels.
These things had been happening the same way for years. Beatrice Ravalley had long dominated social circles, and the Marchioness of Schroz had a long history of making unrealistic plans only to quickly abandon them.
The nobles, bored with such yawn-inducingly predictable events, turned their attention to the new faces in Craine. Though these faces weren’t really all that new either.
However, when these familiar faces formed new connections, that was somewhat interesting.
“I heard the Grand Duke and Duchess of Lusenford have finally arrived?”
“His Majesty will be able to breathe easier now.”
“Ah, is His Majesty the only one who can breathe easier? We all can breathe easier now.”
The enormous engagement ceremony plans that the Marchioness of Schroz kept starting but never finishing were still incomplete. Everything was left half-done.
“But where are the Grand Duke and Duchess, and what are they doing?”
The ducal couple was actually taking a walk somewhere completely different from Craine, where people were desperately curious about them. Walking was an important daily routine for the couple. Kaela, keeping her lips tightly sealed, simply walked alongside Peon, who held her hand.
A fearless squirrel suddenly appeared, stood still, and watched them for a while with its black eyes. Sunlight sparkled through the green leaves. The couple walked quietly down the path, matching their pace, through the curtain of light.
Kaela didn’t know where this forest path with its fresh air was. She had just followed where Peon led. She wasn’t even surprised anymore when one step took them from their townhouse where they’d been arguing to this deserted, brilliant forest path.
“If it was going to be like this, we wouldn’t have needed to make that long journey from Lusenford to Craine.”
“We could have just walked once and arrived, right? That would have been incredibly convenient.” When Kaela muttered these words, Peon stopped abruptly.
“You didn’t say a word during the entire meal, and after thirty minutes of walking here, that’s what you choose to say?”
Kaela, who had no intention of conversing with her crazy husband in the first place, replied flatly.
“I have nothing to say.”
“You have things to say, you’re just not saying them.”
“I’m not saying anything because I have nothing to say.”
Why does he keep trying to make me talk? She didn’t want to speak at all, and she especially disliked such wasteful conversations. Kaela was just thinking about how delicious the dessert had been – peaches and red oranges with even their fragrance being sweet.
Surprisingly, Kaela hadn’t gotten indigestion during the late lunch, even with Peon present. She wanted to consider that quite an achievement, but Peon was persistent.
After completely changing their surroundings just to take a walk, he waited and waited until she would speak without realizing it.
“Then let me ask the questions.”
Well, if she had been able to shake him off, Kaela would have succeeded in dying long ago.
“What do you know about Duke Ostein’s death before the regression?”
The question about how her father’s death had unfolded came straight at her.
“I don’t want to talk about this subject with Your Highness.”
“Why? Are you afraid you’ll hear something else you don’t know?”
Peon smiled while seeing right through her. He was mocking her. Although Kaela tried not to show any reaction, he was skilled at getting under her skin.
“Are you afraid it happened differently from what you know?”
“I see you don’t think I already know the truth.”
Kaela, unable to hold back, snapped at him. After throwing a fork, snapping back was the least she could do.
“Bringing up something I already know about is a waste of time.”
“You never resented me once during those four years.”
Peon brought up the pre-regression events that Kaela didn’t want to hear about.
“You never said anything unpleasant either. I was just your husband whom you weren’t close to. That’s exactly how you treated me. I should be grateful that you even treated someone as inadequate and pathetic as me as a husband.”
It was a luxurious time that felt so vivid he could almost touch it, but one he could never return to. For Peon, it was when he was the richest – carelessly throwing away all of Kaela’s attention and devotion that came to him with her every breath.
Having squandered everything like a madman, it was natural that he was now poor. Those times would never return. He knew that. It was his burden, and the punishment he would bear for life, so he had to swallow his regrets and longings alone.
“But suddenly, you who hadn’t said anything for four years, suddenly now started treating me like a murderer.”
Kaela sensed it. Peon wouldn’t give up until he got his answer.
“So that means you heard something new in between. The only time I completely lost track of you…”
The only time Kaela de Chasser completely slipped from Hyperion Sabrand Ferraro’s grasp was just once. Once, but for quite a long time.
“When I kept you in the North Tower.”
It must be a time she hates to think about, when his wife said she would rather die than be cold and hungry.
“From then… until you died.”
“I died?”
Peon sighed.
“You only react to things like that.”
“Did you see me die?”
Kaela’s eyes widened as she kept asking. Until now, strictly speaking, Kaela had never experienced a proper death. The one time she thought she had truly died, she had merely regressed when she came to her senses.
It was an important issue for her. If she couldn’t die properly, there was no point in attempting suicide. However, Peon struggled to answer with a contorted expression.
“Did you see it?”
“…I saw it.”
“So I did die then.”
“Do you know how you died?”
“Lying down, I suppose.”
“You died with your eyes open.”
What did that matter? Kaela didn’t care what happened to her corpse after death. They weren’t in a position to consider things like burial then. Just being able to die was more than enough.
“You were lying on the dirty floor with your eyes open.”
It was a strange situation where the dead person was listening calmly, while the person who contributed to the death was speaking with great anguish.
“I guess you came to confirm I was dead?”
Peon looked at her. His expression was incredulous. No, was it shock? His eyes full of pain were filled with shock and guilt.
“…I went to save you. Though you won’t believe that.”
Even his voice was cracking.
“Why would you?”
Peon had no reason to save her. Unable to understand, Kaela kept asking.
“Because I realized I was wrong.”
“When?”
He closed his eyes for a moment. The pain he felt was so great that he wanted to tear himself apart to distract from it. It was the kind of pain he wanted to forget by hurting another part of his body. But he didn’t dare do that in front of Kaela.
“…On the twelfth day. Lusenford fell.”
Ah, so that’s when she died. Kaela finally realized when her death had occurred. While she could have counted the passing days in the North Tower, she had neither the mental strength nor physical energy to do so. She hadn’t even lasted fifteen days.
“I thought you would have eaten something at least. I never ordered your death, so naturally…”
While Lusenford’s prisoners received something that might or might not have been food, they at least stayed alive. Moreover, Kaela was the Emperor’s niece. She wasn’t a prisoner that Peon, who could be branded a traitor, could handle carelessly.
Rather, she was clear evidence he could use to justify his rebellion against the Emperor, and though not very effective, she was still a hostage.
“I naturally thought you’d be alive, so I went to save at least you, but that bastard…”
Those rotten people of Lusenford, who deserved worse than being ground to dust, had interpreted the word ‘confinement’ quite freely. Peon gritted his teeth to stop unwanted words from escaping. He also suppressed his pain.
“I’m sorry.”
In the end, it was his fault. No matter if it was insubordination or rebellion, a subordinate’s actions were ultimately the superior’s responsibility. He had provided the source of Kaela’s deep-rooted desire for death.
The pain Peon felt now was merely emotional pain. If he could abandon all attachments like Kaela had, he wouldn’t feel anything, but Peon couldn’t do that.
He wasn’t made that way. The enormous pain that made his nerves split and made him wail and suffer – the pain caused by Kaela – ultimately changed him. That change was what needed to happen.
“That was my fault. It was my fault, but…who opened the door and came in, Kaela?”
Could terrible guilt and madness mix? Looking at Peon’s eyes, Kaela realized for the first time that they could.
“The door was open. Who came?”
His bloodshot eyes asked tenderly while repeatedly recalling times that brought pain worse than death just by remembering.
“Who came and told you about Duke Ostein’s death?”
Back then, Kaela had heard something from a rat who had sneaked in. Now this man with instincts worse than a beast was certain of it the moment Kaela blamed him for her father’s death in the palace corridor. That rat had disappeared after just whispering to the dying Kaela without saving her. So he had to know.
Kaela, who never answered his questions, turned her gaze to the peaceful forest path. Peon sighed.
“You don’t want to talk about it, right?”
No matter how much he asked, she wouldn’t answer, only looking elsewhere, barely eating even when fed anxiously, and barely maintaining her position even when taken on separate walks.
Not only that, if left alone she would just lie in bed thinking about death, so he had to coax and persuade her to do her Grand Duchess duties one by one, carefully managing the workload to avoid overwhelming her.
And after completing each task, he had to show her the results during their walks. She was truly a high-maintenance woman.
‘Worth her face value.’
He deliberately chose a good weather forest path and filled it with herbivores unafraid of humans. Kaela’s face softened slightly at the sight of small animals like squirrels, rabbits, and birds.
Yes, she was worth her face value. With such beauty, it was natural that she required much attention. He had to accept it.
“Why didn’t we travel like this directly from Lusenford?”
Again, she only said what she wanted to say.
“It would be too conspicuous. I’m sorry it was difficult.”
Peon answered with a sigh. Kaela finally turned to look at him.
“…Is there nowhere you can’t go?”
“Nowhere.”
“There’s nothing you can’t do.”
The wound Kaela had made on Peon’s cheek with the fork had already disappeared.
“What do you mean there’s nothing I can’t do? There’s plenty. You’re still not answering me.”
“That’s not really a lot, is it?”
“It’s everything to me.”
A cool breeze swept past them with a whoosh, rustling their hair as broadleaf trees clashed their spread branches, making sounds.
On some clear, warm day, light poured down like a curtain in the forest full of green. Amidst that light, Kaela met a familiar gaze.
It was the gaze of someone who had died pitch-black from desperately wanting while possessing nothing, utterly impoverished. It was identical to the gaze she saw every time she faced the thin, pale woman in the mirror.
“Perhaps you can read my memories too?”
She casually threw out another odd question.
“What?”
“Is anything mental impossible?”
“Are you saying I should just read your mind because you don’t want to answer? You… do you think that makes any sense?”
Peon asked back, dumbfounded.
“You can’t?”
“Why wouldn’t I be able to?”
Nothing was impossible. He started laughing nervously now.
“I could even touch your brain to make you want only me. I could make you chirp about loving me all day long. Is that what you want? Do you really want me to mess with your head? Is that what you’re asking?”
He had no idea how to handle this small, expressionless porcelain doll of a woman. She remained emotionless and still, while he was endlessly burning, tearing apart, and shattering.
“You know I can’t do that. You know and you’re doing this anyway.”
But that wasn’t true. Kaela didn’t know much about him. She knew nothing at all.
“You’re that smart, aren’t you? You know everything. Someone as smart as you should have asked me many questions the moment you knew about the regression. You should have asked about everything that felt strange to you. But you didn’t say a word.”
Peon thought she should have interrogated him about when he regressed, why, how they came to regress, everything. He gripped her hand.
“Despite having so many questions that could lead to this long of a conversation, you didn’t ask.”
His cold eyes burned like fire, and his indifferent lips smiled tenderly. Her husband had come all this way, his nerves splitting and flesh bursting while paying for the sins he had accumulated. He had noticed she was deliberately staying silent.
“I’ve waited until now. Until you would react.”
And Kaela had mentioned her father’s death after meeting with the Emperor. She had reacted.
“The things you’re ‘deliberately’ not saying, I want to hear them from your mouth.”
His grip on her hand tightened into an intertwined lock.
“Everything.”
thank u for the update