He had aged. That was Kaela’s first impression when she saw the Emperor after several months. The wrinkles that made his expression severe due to worry and spite had deepened, and his eyes had grown dim. Time had suddenly settled across his entire face, which had once been praised for its excellence.
The Emperor had only just entered his fifties, but his hair was already turning gray. Of course, his brother – Kaela’s father Adeo – had aged too, but not to this extent. Moreover, there were rumors that the Emperor had magical tools to maintain his youth, so what could have happened?
Despite having enjoyed everything possible and being the most powerful and wealthy person in the empire, he looked unsightly with his face flushed with excitement.
Having returned from the future, Kaela could completely abandon her respect for the Emperor. That man was a butcher of humans, a beast who failed to be human.
“What is this? I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
When he opened the gift box, there was another box inside, but even just that box delighted the Emperor tremendously.
This was understandable, as the golden box was crafted with tree branch decorations, and the rounded branches met with purple spinels embedded in the center of the box. The spinels sparkled like fruits.
“Some jewels were found in a recently discovered mine. There are diamonds too, but since we found the most precious purple spinels, I thought I should present them to Your Majesty. Though they’re not very large.”
“No, no, these are enormously large.”
Kaela, who had been quietly listening, added:
“They match the color of Her Majesty the Empress’s eyes, Your Majesty.”
At those words, the Emperor’s eyes reddened with emotion.
“Indeed. They do look like the Empress’s eyes. It’s been so long since I’ve seen those eyes. Thank you. They truly are as beautiful as the Empress’s eyes.”
The path Peon was currently walking appeared to be that of a perfect politician from the outside.
The Empress’s illegitimate child had gained the Emperor’s trust. The Emperor was dissatisfied with his heir and needed reliable young children to depend on, as the Empress had fallen into a coma.
The nephew and his wife were fulfilling that role, gradually strengthening Peon’s position, who had previously only faced abuse and mistreatment for not knowing how to be subservient like a tongue in one’s mouth. The dragon’s son was reaching deep into Craine.
“This is a cigarette case, but you may use it to store precious items.”
The Emperor opened the lid of the cigarette case. Inside the considerably large box was a jeweled flower made of colored gems including amethyst, which encircled an empty small frame. The Emperor sighed in admiration.
“I should put the Empress’s portrait in here. Thank you.”
The Emperor, now in an extremely good mood, bestowed medicinal herbs said to be good for health upon Kaela, and even granted her a separate carriage and horse to use always. Peon would likely secure a position in the prestigious Imperial Knights this time. However, that was beyond Peon’s interest.
The couple who had made the temperamental Emperor smile from ear to ear rose from their seats, using Kaela’s health as an excuse. The Emperor sent them off with all sorts of concerns, telling them to go ahead.
Kaela couldn’t breathe easily even after the audience chamber door closed behind her.
While it was a novel experience to witness her inhuman husband manipulating the absolute ruler whose mood could change at any moment, she still couldn’t help but remain extremely tense in the imperial palace.
Moreover, her inhuman husband was someone who could act unpredictably at any time.
“Shall we return now, My Lady?”
“No, we still need to understand how the situation is developing and prepare…”
Peon stopped walking at her words.
“Prepare? In your condition?”
Due to Peon’s suddenly changed demeanor, Kaela hastily looked around. This was the corridor of the Soleil Palace’s audience chamber.
There were many eyes around, and all the servants and guards nearby were the Emperor’s arms and legs who would report everything the couple said to the Emperor.
“No one can hear us.”
Though passing servants were certainly within earshot of Peon’s words, they merely bowed respectfully and passed by as if they hadn’t heard anything.
“It’s quite something to hear talk of preparation and work from someone who usually shows no enthusiasm at all, Kaela.”
“We’ve been assigned this anyway. The engagement ceremony is large-scale, so there’s much to do.”
“Not today,”
Peon cut her off, gently but firmly.
“I’ve already presented the Emperor with an overly generous gift to ensure good treatment for my wife, and reduced your palace visits to once every four days.”
He had changed it from every other day to once every four days by presenting the jeweled gift.
“In four days, I’ll be in much worse shape than today.”
Kaela mumbled, slightly bowing her head and avoiding his gaze.
“The incompetent Marchioness of Schroz isn’t worth you working yourself to the brink of collapse to clean up her mess.”
She knew. But once the Emperor assigned work, it had to be done well. Otherwise, she would incur the Emperor’s hatred again, falling into that tiresome cycle where even her life would be in danger. Kaela’s shoulders slumped.
“You didn’t want to do anything. You weren’t even interested in our wedding, so how could the Crown Prince’s engagement ceremony be interesting?”
That couldn’t be.
“Then?”
“If the engagement ceremony fails, I’ll be held responsible.”
“No one thinks that way.”
Kaela finally spoke honestly, her shoulders drooping.
“You know what happens when one falls out of His Majesty’s favor.”
Peon should have known without her having to spell out that tiresome story. He who had experienced it directly and regressed should have known.
“You should also know how miserable I was.”
Emotion crept into Kaela’s voice, which had been living almost devoid of feeling. Her eyes gained strength as she looked up at him, and something flickered within them.
“And how my father died.”
What name should be given to that look in her eyes? Reproach, anger, grudge… yes, grudge would be right. But it was too weak, disappearing almost immediately. Yet it had definitely existed in those blue eyes that had been lifeless before.
“You shouldn’t tell me to ignore that, if nothing else, Your Highness.”
Her voice trembled slightly, very slightly. It was such a faint trembling that only the speaker would know, but Peon noticed it.
“No matter how foolish and stupid I may be, I’m not entirely thoughtless.”
That gun, your husband brought it.
She wasn’t entirely thoughtless, nor did she have a poor memory. After saying just that much, Kaela pressed her lips shut and walked away, leaving Peon behind.
[Poor Kaela. You marry the man who killed your father, receive no love, and die unjustly?]
Beatrice’s mockery from just before death rang in her ears. Your father was killed by the gun that man brought. Kaela still remembered. She instantly sank into that memory, into pitch-black darkness.
****
Kaela de Chasser’s life was, in a word, a repetition of foolish and tedious affairs. That’s why she never dreamed about what she wanted to be in her next life.
That was a privilege reserved for those who had the luxury to wish for ‘what they wanted to be.’ People like Peon or Beatrice, for instance. People overflowing with the will to do something.
If they were the main characters, Kaela couldn’t even qualify as a supporting role. She was a thieving spectator, secretly watching their lives from the darkness as they shone brilliantly and burned gloriously on stage. Then, looking down at her own life, barely visible in the darkness, she would think: This is all I amount to.
“Kaela.”
She had tried to imitate their lives until she broke herself, yearning for their existence. But she couldn’t even get near the stage, ending up more tightly bound in this darkness.
Too powerless to seek revenge, too weak to feel anger. A cowardly and shabby life.
Sometimes she loathed herself for finding death as the only answer. She couldn’t forgive anything, yet couldn’t do anything either. A coward who was both incompetent and timid deserved to die, didn’t she?
“Kaela?”
So, she wished he wouldn’t call her. Everything was tiresome. Yet she still submissively bowed to power while complaining of weariness. She was sick of it. If only she had died earlier, she wouldn’t have needed to be submissive again, wouldn’t have needed to worry like this – it would have been so much easier.
“Look at me, Kaela!”
Her unfocused eyes, which had remained vacant despite all attempts to reach her on the way back from the palace until she was seated at the townhouse dining table, finally turned toward Peon. Though he had called out strongly, he was satisfied that she had responded, even with misaligned focus.
“Eat. If you don’t eat, your maids will never return to Ostein, understand?”
Her focus properly returned as she glared at him. Peon was even more satisfied.
“Why do you speak like that?”
“Because I want to.”
“So you know I’ve been wanting to send the maids back.”
“How thoroughly do you think I’ve replayed the circumstances before you drank the poison?”
He who had spent many sleepless nights wondering why that woman had died, what the reason could be while she lay unconscious, very tenderly placed a fork in her hand.
“You, who never asked for anything, mentioned that the maids were homesick. I wondered why you said that, then found out you’d even given them separate purses of money. Like an inheritance.”
Peon pointed to the meal laid out before his wife, who might not even remember the sequence of returning to the townhouse, changing clothes, and washing hands before sitting down.
“So eat. We’re well past mealtime.”
“…I don’t really want to eat. I’ll eat later.”
“I clearly said I won’t send the maids back to Ostein if you don’t eat.”
At that moment, Kaela forgot all manners, dignity, and courtesy, and threw the fork. It happened in an instant. The precious Princess of Ostein had never displayed such crude violence before. The fork scratched Peon’s face, who didn’t even try to dodge.
A bright red scratch appeared on his flawless, handsome face that resembled the beautiful Empress. Kaela’s eyes widened belatedly. She was shocked at her own violent act, and furthermore, became terrified.
Peon would be angry. What should she do? What should she do? What should she do? What should she do? What should she do? I’m scared. I should have just died. I should have died sooner. Why couldn’t I die? Why won’t they leave me alone?
“Yes, Your Highness. Did you call?”
When the townhouse servant’s voice was heard, Kaela’s heart sank.
If the servants saw that the Grand Duchess had scratched the Grand Duke’s face, they wouldn’t leave her alone, just like in Lusenford. The social circles and the Emperor would see that wound too – what should she do?
“A piece of cutlery fell to the floor.”
“Ah, I’ll bring a new one right away.”
The servant quickly brought new cutlery. He hastily placed it on the table, bowed his head, and left. The servant seemed to find the Grand Ducal couple quite intimidating.
“Eat quickly.”
There wasn’t a trace of anger in Peon’s voice. No, he had become skilled at fabricating his expressions and voice now.
Hadn’t he most smoothly played up to the Emperor while suppressing his nausea? He had acted appropriately humble without engaging in flattery that would displease the Emperor, conducting himself like a loyal subject and a son soothing his ill-tempered stepfather.
Thus she couldn’t feel at ease just because his voice held no anger.
“You did well, so don’t think about anything else and eat properly. You need strength to throw things again next time.”
He was gentle and caring as usual. He should be angry, but being gentle and caring was strange. It was extremely strange. Strange meant ominous.
“This is the first time you’ve thrown something at someone.”
The ominous man even chuckled now.
“Why look anxious after throwing it? Just eat. After doing something like this, you’re supposed to act shamelessly like nothing happened.”
But there was a red scratch on his cheek. Kaela, watching that scratch warily, said in a small voice.
“The wound doesn’t bother you at all?”
“Not at all.”
“Then why leave it there?”
Even after having his eyes gouged out, ears cut off, and heart ripped out, he remained fine, so surely a mere scratch could be restored immediately.
“Because you’re concerned about it.”
He’s insane. Kaela chose to attack her food instead, picking up her fork. Peon leisurely sipped his wine.
“Eat slowly. We have plenty of time.”
While Kaela was focused on eating her appetizer, looking only at the mashed potatoes and well-boiled vegetables, Peon was subtly smiling.
There probably wasn’t another husband who would be pleased that his wife got angry and threw a fork. Kaela’s assessment was accurate. He was already insane. Being insane, he was delighted that his wife, who had kept her mouth tightly shut and never let a word of resentment slip through her clenched teeth, finally spoke up, got angry, and even threw a fork.
The desire to harm someone is a violent impulse. His wife, the most graceful lady he knew, would never normally engage in such behavior.
Even after living through harsh times and dying, she had only endured, but it seems she couldn’t endure her husband’s constant prodding. Even the graceful lady exploded.
“Aren’t you busy?”
“Even if you tell me to get lost, I won’t.”
Perhaps dissatisfied with this response, Kaela pondered with her fork in her mouth, pouting. Peon made a clicking sound and pulled the fork out.
“Just finish your meal, My Lady.”
“…What are you going to do after I finish?”
Peon remembered and restrained himself, knowing it was an unwritten rule not to disturb even a dog while eating. He must endure. He couldn’t just sit his dining wife on his lap and kiss her until he was satisfied, could he? But she was just too adorable. Especially the way she would glance at him carefully and hesitate before asking questions was the most adorable.
“Talk.”
An ordinary but essential conversation between husband and wife.
“We, no, you haven’t been talking enough, Kaela.”
It was time now.
