There was only one chance, and Peon lost it forever before he even realized what he desperately wanted.
The moment when Kaela would look at him, even slightly, would never come again. He knows this. Though he claims he knows and doesn’t want more, he was already suffering from deprivation.
“Don’t you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you.”
After asking just that one question, Kaela tilted her head as if it was strange and impossible, then closed her mouth. She didn’t ask anything more, nor did she speak of anything else.
But she probably couldn’t accept it. She wouldn’t believe what he said. He didn’t say it hoping she would believe him either. She didn’t need to believe words that sounded like dirty excuses even to his own ears.
Today, she only spoke the words she had buried inside after Peon asked her to speak them, then returned to living as usual.
Peon also lived as usual. On the outside, he played the role of a proper Grand Duke, taking care of Kaela’s every move and making sure she was never left alone.
Watching over her while she slept was his duty. In the deep night when the palace, which was unusually bustling with new visitors, had fallen quiet, Peon was again watching over Kaela without being able to sleep, as usual.
She slept as if dead, and as he watched her, he would sometimes get spooked and check her breath under her nose or feel for her pulse.
It was a habit he developed after she collapsed. That’s how it had been the entire time he forcefully kept her fragile body clinging to life that was barely hanging on. It was a continuous series of anxiety and solitary startling moments.
[You starved me to death.]
Peon couldn’t bring up receiving punishment for something that was traumatic to Kaela. So he waited without even being able to ask.
He already had his suspicions. But even with suspicions, expectations, and preparation, facing Kaela, who couldn’t even express resentment and started with the premise “I know you’ll kill me because you hate me,” was something that broke and destroyed Peon.
‘Are you sleeping?’
Is she sleeping well? Is she having nightmares? He was anxious because he couldn’t protect her in her dreams. No, maybe it was better for her to be alone even in her dreams. His appearance would only be unpleasant anyway.
[Being hungry and cold is what I fear most. I hate it terribly.]
Someone who rarely expressed herself said it multiple times because she hated it so much, to the point where she chose a quick death after returning. How much pain must she have been in?
Peon closed his eyes. His consciousness flew to a time period that had now vanished but definitely existed, seeking not himself who stupidly didn’t even know what crime he had committed, but Kaela.
There was nothing but pitch darkness. Through the darkness came the chattering of teeth and bone-chilling cold. Added to that cold, completely exposed and defenseless, was a splitting headache and pain that ached throughout her entire body. It hurt so much she couldn’t breathe.
It was just for a moment. It was far too little for him to dare to understand all the despair, misery, pain, and hunger she must have felt.
Peon remained in the darkness until morning came. For so long that his body trembled, and even as his frozen hands clawed at the tightly closed door until his nails came off and became bloody, he didn’t notice.
His indifferent wife wouldn’t even give him punishment, so he had to seek out suffering on his own.
****
The Ostein merchant ships, having unloaded all their cargo, were now fully loaded again with new goods securely fastened.
As the port became lively along with the construction expansion, Lusenford moved toward the warm summer, forgetting about the war and the unfortunate execution, just as it had always done before.
However, the Grand Duke, still in the middle of winter, quietly guarded the Grand Duchess’s side today as well.
“Your Highness. News just arrived from Crania.”
Peon, who had already been listening to Regen’s footsteps running behind him, extended his arm without turning around.
His gaze remained fixed on the Grand Duchess, refusing to look away. Regen placed a letter decorated in gold and red on the Grand Duke’s outstretched hand and withdrew. Anyone could see it was a letter from the Emperor.
“Was it sent through magical means?”
“Yes.”
It happened occasionally. Like when Beatrice came, after golden light flashed brilliantly and disappeared, the letter left behind would shake all of Lusenford.
The contents were always full of implications that the Emperor was watching this place like the palm of his hand, so once again, everyone in Lusenford would be on edge. Regardless, Peon carelessly opened the letter.
Even while opening it, before reading the irritating contents, he didn’t forget to look at Kaela one more time. Then he read the Emperor’s personal letter in one go.
“It seems our Emperor has no one to rely on.”
Peon handed the finished letter to Kaela. Although she tilted her head in confusion, she accepted it since it was given to her. She must be wondering why he’s giving this to her.
She’s cute anyway. When given something, she reads it diligently. When told to eat, she eats; when told to sleep, she sleeps. Outwardly, she seemed to be gradually improving. The maids, Darinka, everyone was relieved.
The only man who wasn’t relieved kept his eyes fixed on her as she read the letter. After reading it slowly and thoroughly, Kaela raised her head again and looked at him.
Though her complexion was still thin and pale without a trace of a smile, Peon kissed her cheek at that moment.
He wanted to kiss her lips rather than her cheek, but fearing that the proper Grand Duchess might startle and pull away, he naturally settled for her cheek.
The slightly slow Kaela belatedly opened her eyes wide, blinked, and glanced around at the people nearby.
“I don’t want to go to Crania because I’m busy.”
“Are they calling for you?” Regen asked in surprise at Peon’s muttering.
“They’re telling us to come quickly. It seems the Crown Prince is getting engaged.”
The Grand Duke and Duchess of Lusenford were to hurry to Crania. In summary, that was it. Before sending formal invitations to carefully selected noble guests to attend the Crown Prince’s engagement ceremony, the Emperor had summoned the Grand Duke and Duchess first.
Since the Emperor had killed all the imperial family members with succession rights and ascended to the throne alone, the Cranian Imperial Family was pitifully small.
Therefore, the aging Emperor had no choice but to cling to his half-brother Duke of Ostein, who had no succession rights, and even the Empress’s illegitimate child.
There is no Empress by the Emperor’s side, he must be afraid of his aging body, and his grown child doesn’t meet his standards.
So he was urging them to come quickly. He was so urgent that instead of sending a messenger with the letter, he sent it through magical means, just like when he sent Beatrice before.
“At least this time the letter arrived properly without half of it flying away.”
Someone’s trunk had half flown away, but it seems the magical device’s performance is still usable. Or perhaps while it couldn’t handle an enormous trunk with a person, it was still at a level that could handle just a letter.
“Is he summoning Your Highness because of the expansion construction?”
Regen asked cautiously. Even while working as a secretary, he had never forgotten that the Emperor’s eyes and ears were here.
“Regen. Try growing that small liver of yours a bit more while I’m gone.”
The Grand Duke joked with a smile, but that smile didn’t linger long on his lips.
Originally, the Grand Duke was a serious person but knew how to joke and laugh cheerfully. However, after the Grand Duchess had gone between life and death twice, he rarely smiled.
“Are you going? What about the expansion that just started?”
“What about it?”
Peon turned to look at Kaela. She was still quietly looking at the Emperor’s personal letter.
“You’ll have to take good charge of the expansion construction.”
“What? Me? Am I not going to Crania?”
“No, you’re not going. Make sure the outer walls are built solidly. Don’t forget to consult with the knights.”
“Of course. I’ll do my best.”
Regen was more than capable of handling the wall construction.
“Don’t get too excited.”
Though he tried to answer as carefully as possible, it seems he couldn’t help his voice sounding excited.
“You know I have a small liver, yet in Crania, oh my, it’s overwhelming.”
“It’s not that you dislike Crania, you’re excited because I won’t be here, right?”
“Well, that too.”
Seeing him answer like that, it seems Regen’s small liver had grown a bit.
“We won’t be leaving right away.”
“Honestly, I hope you’ll go slowly, if only for Her Highness’s health.”
Even now, Darinka came by once every day without fail to examine Kaela. The chef consulted with Darinka to decide on the Grand Duchess’s meals, and the preparation was also very careful.
The Grand Duchess, who had just recently gotten out of bed and was only managing one walk a day, would clearly struggle with the long journey to Crania.
“Should we not go?”
Peon muttered suddenly.
“Should we not go, My Lady?”
His tone suggested that if our lady doesn’t want to, we could just not go. While Regen might think the Grand Duke was joking, Kaela knew this wasn’t a joke.
“How can we not go?”
Though Kaela was barely moving due to her sense of responsibility, even that was welcome to Peon. If she would do her duties and continue living, even without her heart in it, that was enough. The rest could be handled by him keeping her close.
“We must go.”
Even if she collapsed on the journey, they had to go. They couldn’t defy the fearsome and absolute imperial command.
“Still, let’s go slowly without rushing. You’re weak.”
For a moment, Kaela wondered if the son of a dragon should go to Crania, but she dismissed the thought. Peon had gone to Crania occasionally before.
He was the son of a dragon then too, so there was nothing new about it. However, if it was discovered that her husband was the son of a dragon, death would be the only outcome.
“Um, Your Highness the Grand Duchess.”
Though Regen usually spoke with the Grand Duke, unexpectedly, he called out to her. Kaela turned to look at Regen, slightly surprised.
“Excuse me, but I have one request. Before you leave, I hope you would appoint a butler.”
Knowing well how much the Grand Duke doted on the Grand Duchess, and especially that he had delegated the important authority of appointing a butler to her, Regen made his request politely.
“I’ve been handling duties with the head maid, but still, having a butler would ensure proper management of the castle while both of you are away.”
“Is the workload too much?”
The young secretary hesitated at the unexpected question.
“Honestly, not really, but shouldn’t a butler’s work be done by a butler? I’m not a butler.”
“Then you should become the butler.”
Regen Nerkel, a young secretary in his mid-twenties who was praised as Lusenford’s first promising figure in a long time, failed to immediately understand the Grand Duchess’s words despite his excellent record.
He stared blankly at the Grand Duchess, who was writing a new reply to the Duke of Ostein before the merchant ships departed, as if unable to comprehend what she meant.
“…Pardon?”
“Your Highness. Did you recruit Secretary Nerkel to fill the gap where the butler wasn’t working?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Peon nodded while looking down affectionately at Kaela, who now spoke her mind without hesitation.
“You understood right away, My Lady.”
“I realized it when I saw how smoothly the castle operations ran, with the head maid taking over the butler’s duties and Secretary Nerkel filling the remaining gaps without any problems.”
She also newly realized that the butler had only been diligent in unnecessary areas while being terribly negligent in others.
“Since you’ve worked with His Highness for a long time, it should be fine. You’ll continue doing what you’ve been doing. Only your title will change.”
“Pardon?”
Kaela looked at the still dazed Regen.
“You really need to grow your liver.”
That’s definitely not a brain problem but a liver problem. Peon nodded beside her.
“Indeed. Perhaps I should have taken him to more battlefields.”
“I think he went to enough.”
To Regen, the Grand Duchess’s casual reply sounded like speculation, but to Peon’s ears, it sounded like recalling old memories.
“I’m sorry for creating troublesome and annoying work, My Lady. I should have resolved this.”
If they had hired someone to do the work the butler wasn’t doing, Peon could have dealt with the butler. No, he should have.
But Kaela instinctively shook her head. She knew it would have been impossible to remove a butler that had raised Peon without a justification as serious as her collapse. Replacing people and administering punishment was that difficult.
“No, I merely added words to what Your Highness had already prepared for.”
But Peon’s circumstances weren’t her concern. Kaela quickly cut off her thoughts about that issue.
She wasn’t grateful that he had dealt with the butler and head maid, and saved her life. She didn’t want to know. Or rather, she wanted to erase from her mind his circumstances that she already knew.
She wanted to remember just one thing. He had confined her in the North Tower, and she was imprisoned. A husband had treated his wife like a criminal and confined her.
“I didn’t do anything.”
So Kaela cut it off with just those words.
“I’ll ensure nothing like this happens again.”
Lusenford Castle was finally running properly, being firmly managed anew according to Kaela’s thoughts.
“…What? Um, Your Highness, I’m not yet… such an important position…”
Regen, finally coming to his senses, cried out belatedly.
“It’s already too late, Regen.”
“B-because I’m slow and have a small liver, wouldn’t I be unable to be a butler?”
Though Regen timidly argued, the Grand Duchess only had frightening words.
“You’ll improve gradually while working in the position.”
There was no escape for Regen.
