The greetings and courtesies flowing toward Kaela were not merely perfunctory. Knights would immediately stop and salute when they spotted the Grand Ducal couple in passing.
Even servants and maids visible from afar would bow deeply, whether or not the Grand Ducal couple noticed them. Even the nobles working in the palace showed such respectful courtesy to Kaela that she wondered what was going on.
Although she was composed in receiving greetings first, having been the Princess of Ostein for a long time, the things happening were quite suspicious and strange. There was no reason for them to be so warm towards her.
“Thank you, Your Highness.”
“Thank you so much.”
Moreover, among those who greeted her, some even expressed gratitude. Confused, Kaela looked around until her eyes met with Peon’s, who was calmly escorting her. He knew something.
“Hmm?”
Though she had only looked at him without saying anything, his violet eyes curved. A rare, handsome smile appeared as he smiled at her.
Was he mocking her? Logically, there was no reason to smile like that at a woman who had sneaked in at night and gotten pregnant so recklessly.
Despite confessing such a secret, Kaela couldn’t understand why Peon still smiled when looking at her.
Or perhaps she simply didn’t want to understand.
“What is it, Kaela?”
Peon turned toward her. His focus on her was almost frightening.
“…Oh, it’s nothing.”
He is the son of the Evil Dragon. Kaela reminded herself never to forget this fact. Who knows what might happen if she made a mistake in front of the Evil Dragon’s son.
She wanted to avoid troublesome, difficult, and painful things as much as possible. Even asking why they were acting this way was bothersome; she didn’t want to create more problems.
“Nothing?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Come on, you’re curious why everyone’s greeting you, aren’t you?”
The enigmatic handsome man smiled. Kaela, who had spent her life reading his moods and being careful around him, could tell immediately.
Peon had changed. Though still Peon, he was no longer the taciturn man who only focused on his goals and rushed forward without regard for anything else.
The sharp atmosphere that used to flow through his entire body was no longer concentrated and poised to strike someone like before, but had spread out widely. It was loose and languid. Yet it felt even more impenetrable.
He was no longer desperate like before, nor was he struggling alone trying his best to somehow resolve situations.
However, he was like a predator playing with its prey. He had played with all of Lusenford, and now he was playing with Kaela.
Regardless of whether his feelings for Beatrice had ended or not, shouldn’t he be displeased with a woman who snuck into his bedroom? Why was he smiling? Why was he smiling as if he was pleased? He just kept smiling at her desperate state.
“Are you mocking me?”
Though her direct question was delivered matter-of-factly, it was enough to wipe the smile from Peon’s face.
“Mocking?”
He asked back as if he couldn’t understand. The surroundings were instantly cut off. The flow of air stopped abruptly, and passersby couldn’t perceive the two at all.
The two could only see each other. Peon had always been like this, and Kaela could only look at him because he had cut off their surroundings.
“Me? Mocking you?”
Kaela thought she should take a step back. She saw something like betrayal in his questioning eyes. No, it was all just her imagination.
She who didn’t understand why people smiled whenever she spoke, and eventually came to distrust all smiles – what could she know? And if it was a negative emotion like betrayal, that would actually be better. That was more familiar.
“I didn’t do anything. But you smiled.”
“That’s right. You didn’t do anything. You were just beautiful on your own.”
Kaela blinked. She didn’t understand what that meant either.
“I’m just a fool who’s crazy about how beautiful my wife is. What other reason do I have to smile besides you? And…”
He lowered his head further. Since his wife was so much shorter, the giant man had to bend down considerably to meet her eyes. In fact, even her smallness was absolutely to his taste.
“If anyone should be mocking, it should be you mocking me.”
You should at least mock me.
“You should be mocking me as a pathetic, vulgar fool who only now sees you properly and chases after you saying he likes you.”
You should mock me, slap me, spit on me. He would be ecstatic even with that. If the silent Kaela showed condemnation, hatred, and anger, he would greedily lap it up and drink it all in.
“I won’t do that.”
The woman who reluctantly refused had nothing. The numerous emotions that had swirled in her blue eyes vanished like phantoms.
“Why? Don’t you hate me? I ignored and mocked everything you said, and even killed you. If we’re being honest, you should take revenge on me, Kaela.”
His tone trying to kindly remind her somehow seemed desperate.
“When I smile, you should be disgusted thinking ‘this fool is just happy without even thinking about what he did.'”
You should mock me. Take revenge. Be disgusted. You should hate me, especially since I even took away that damn poison.
Peon, who had been trying hard to instill this as the natural order of things, felt his strength drain away as he saw Kaela’s clearly uncomfortable demeanor.
She hunched her shoulders and avoided his gaze. At this rate, he was just threatening her. He had become a threatener threatening her to take revenge.
“Am I not even worth that?”
Not understanding why he was forcing such things, Kaela slightly furrowed her fine brow.
“…Am I, am I not even worth that?”
His trembling whisper made Kaela look at him again. His once-firm eyes were now broken and shaking. Even while shaking, they couldn’t break away from her.
Ah, she understood. This man was now begging for something. But Kaela had nothing to give. She had absolutely nothing. Everything she could give, she had already given to him before. So there was nothing left.
Don’t hatred and revenge require strength too? She was just thoroughly exhausted, rotted to the bone.
She didn’t have an iron will like Peon, nor could she be vibrantly radiant like Beatrice. She had done her best to exhaust herself, and the result had just been death.
Whatever she did would lead to death, and even if she did her best for revenge, it would just lead to death again. If death was inevitable anyway, why was he forcing the impossible when she just wanted to die quietly for efficiency’s sake? No, why was he begging?
The questions she didn’t particularly want to understand kept coming.
Why was he acting like this?
“Just…”
With just her opening her mouth, the man’s already intense eyes grew darker, his concentration heightened.
He listened intently to every word she spoke without even breathing, trying to engrave them in his brain. Yet these weren’t words worth such attention.
“Back then, everyone here would laugh no matter what I said.”
Ignorance without reason, desperate defense mechanisms for survival, and the pitifulness of still remaining at that level…
The words she spoke were so crude that they all embarrassed her. No matter how many times she did it, revealing her own weaknesses was still embarrassing and shameful.
“They would laugh even when I did nothing. I’m sorry.”
So it always ended with self-deprecating apologies. It was too insignificant, not worth Peon listening so intently.
“…They probably found your Ostein accent interesting.”
After much contemplation, he seriously suggested a reason.
“I know.”
Later, she tried speaking in the Crainia way. But it was the same. When she tried using the Lusenford accent to blend in, they mocked her even more.
“Because you were refined and pretty, they deliberately tried to bring you down.”
Since grown adults engaged in such childish behavior, the young Grand Duchess couldn’t help becoming sensitive to people’s laughter. She became less talkative, more passive in her expressions.
It was pitiful. Somewhat heartbreaking. But whenever he felt that way, as if mocking him, as if scolding him not to think that way, clues about Kaela being the Emperor’s spy would pop up. They were so blatantly obvious.
If he had been in his right mind, he would have questioned those clues first, but at that time, he was destined to believe those clues absolutely. The loyal Peon had faithfully performed his role too.
Those fools, being brainless, suppressed the dragon with such crude methods to prevent its awakening. Unfortunately, the dragon was large. It wasn’t just quietly suppressed alone, but also crushed the woman beside it.
“I’m not refined or pretty.”
They made her interpret compliments as attacks, mockery, or traps.
“You’re refined, pretty, smart, and wise. All the men make excuses about needing to protect you just to get closer and say one more word. You’re so small and uneasily pretty.”
What does it mean to be uneasily pretty? While she was puzzled about its meaning, Peon frowned irritably and grumbled harshly.
“Whether here or in Crainia, wherever you go, knights keep glancing at you for no reason, that’s why. It was annoying. I’ll gouge out all their eyes.”
“No! Don’t do that.”
At least that was sincere. Feeling his sincerity, Kaela quickly responded and shook her head.
A man who had surely gouged out his own eyes several times wouldn’t hesitate to gouge out others’. She blindly stepped outside the barrier Peon had created. So he had no choice but to open up their surroundings again.
“Why? When you hate it so much. Aren’t you angry?”
You hate it, don’t you? You despise it, don’t you? You should take revenge. The one standing at the peak of revenge kept whispering for her to strike.
“Your Highness. If you want to commit suicide, use that poison you took.”
“I told you I threw it away. And I don’t want to commit suicide, I want to be killed by your own hands.”
“I won’t do such a thing. I don’t know how.”
“Shall I teach you?”
“No.”
“I could let someone else kill me.”
“I don’t want that either.”
Peon walked alongside her again. In spring, people were much busier than in winter, with hardly anyone remaining indoors. With everyone working outside, the Grand Ducal couple crossed the hall alone.
“It sounds like you want me to live.”
“Yes, that’s right. Live.”
Kaela stopped walking while speaking dryly. Surprisingly, Peon stopped too, as if walking with her was that important.
“You prevented me from dying, so why are you trying to die, Your Highness?”
Her upturned eyes were full of resentment. Peon barely found suppressed anger amidst that resentment. He was glad to find it.
“You should live too, Your Highness.”
“Okay.”
Her empty blue eyes rippled.
“Live and endure.”
This painful life had to be endured. Even more so if it was so painful and difficult.
“Alright.”
He nodded. Because Kaela told him to do so, he changed his decision as easily as flipping his palm. As he solemnly answered like obeying an absolute command, the man suddenly realized something. An eerie light flashed in his violet eyes.
“You, that’s why you asked me to spare Doris Windgood.”
The man who had dragged back and killed the banished former head maid nodded.
“If you had been conscious, you would have asked me to spare Rolf Anderson too.”
It wasn’t a question requiring an answer. He was certain of it.
“I see. So death is a blessing to you, not a punishment.”
He muttered as if confirming. Then, he smirked. In an instant, the already cold hall grew darker. Though the temperature dropped suddenly and cold air rushed in, strangely, Kaela didn’t feel the cold. It was a comfortable darkness.
“So that’s why I was trying to die.”
He didn’t grant death to those who tormented her. Because that was her greatest wish. He understood what she meant. Peon nodded.
“Then live with me, Kaela.”
With a sad face that seemed too sorrowful to be mere madness, Peon murmured.
“At least you won’t be bored.”
Everything brightened slightly again. Even so, the hall was originally dark, so the shadows merely lightened from deep to slightly lighter.
“Let’s go, Kaela.”
As if intending to immediately keep his promise about not letting her be bored, Peon gave a slight nod.
“We’ve already walked around the castle. We’re done with our walk.”
“We’ve only come down our stairs, Your Highness.”
Peon laughed briefly as if dumbfounded and pulled her hand.
“You’re curious why people are greeting you. Let’s go see why.”
“I’m not curious.”
“Then let’s go see even if you’re not curious.”
The man who was always taciturn and tried not to speak with her more than necessary became talkative again, but only with her. Just like her kind oppa when she was young.
[Come on, stop crying, Kaela. Just come with your oppa. Take my hand. Let’s go.]
Forgotten memories settled onto the hand that had grown larger and more calloused.
