You are at the End of the Downfall

That night, the Grand Duke naturally did not leave his bedroom.

“Accidents are frequent and it’s easy to catch a cold when the weather starts to warm up.”

Emphasizing the importance of keeping warm above all else, the Grand Duke embraced Kaela as soon as she finished bathing, before her body could cool down.

“I’ll dry your hair, so send the maids out.”

Peon seated her in front of the fireplace, dismissed the maids, and started touching the towel wrapped around her hair. Noticing her look of surprise that he knew how to do this, he smiled gently.

“I often saw my mother doing it.”

It was the first time Kaela heard him refer to the Empress as “mother” instead of “Her Majesty the Empress.” She glanced at him briefly before turning away and muttering.

“Your Highness should dry your hair too.”

Peon, who had bathed first and was waiting, also had a towel carelessly draped over his head.

“My hair is short, so just shaking it out is enough.”

Although his hair, which resembled his mother’s ebony locks, was thick and had grown slightly longer since the wedding, making it not quite true that “shaking it out is enough,” he just grinned.

Kaela lowered her head. She felt ashamed for showing such an undignified sight of hastily eating and then pathetically vomiting. Death and dignity were separate matters. This time, even if she were to die, she wanted to die with her head held high and proudly. That’s why she felt even more ashamed.

“Today, the chef prepared the food especially for Your Highness. I enjoyed it very much. You chose the chef well.”

While drying her long, luscious platinum blonde hair with the towel, Peon assessed his wife’s nutritional state. No matter how he looked at it, she needed to eat more.

“I was also glad to see the food, but I wonder how Your Highness must feel. I know you always long for the warm south in this cold place.”

And he would never be able to be among the things Kaela longed for.

That was a natural consequence for a sinner, not even worthy of being called a punishment. But somehow, to Peon, it felt as difficult and painful as a punishment. Perhaps that was fortunate for Kaela.

“If you had been healthy, you would have eaten well.”

Grooming hair is no ordinary task. One must use an oiled brush made of precious horsehair and brush multiple times. Peon repeated this process nonchalantly.

“It wasn’t a comfortable dining setting either. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Kaela blurted out a question she wouldn’t have asked if she were her usual self.

“If you’re apologizing on behalf of what Lady Ravalley said, don’t. If you apologize for what the mistress did, it means Your Highness is on the mistress’s side. It will continue to be so, and it sounds like you’re telling me to just accept the apology.”

As soon as she spoke, her heart shrank. She was scared. Would he get angry? He probably would.

Peon became terrifying when he was angry. But since she had endured such frightening and terrifying anger before, Kaela just said what she wanted to say.

As much as Beatrice was precious to Peon, she too had something precious. There was something she wanted to protect until her death.

“That’s not what I was trying to apologize for. I explained clearly enough. It’s not my fault if someone lacks the intelligence to understand and acts rudely towards Her Highness.”

What? Kaela blinked. Intelligence?

Surprised, Kaela turned to look at the man known as the ruler of the North, a knight among knights, of humble birth but considered the most noble of men.

Peon gently held her long hair and carefully brushed it to the ends. It was a much more careful touch than when he would groom a warhorse’s mane. In that sense, it seems the treatment of the Grand Duchess had improved at least beyond that of a warhorse.

“I’m sorry for suddenly interrupting and saying uncomfortable things during the meal. That’s what I wanted to apologize for. I cut in before you could respond.”

He was referring to how he had stepped in before Kaela could reply to Beatrice’s provocation.

“I think you got indigestion because of me.”

“No, that’s not it,” Kaela hastily shook her head.

“Your Highness spoke up for me. It wasn’t because of you that I got sick.”

“Ah. Then it was because of Lady Ravalley after all.”

Was it her imagination that Peon’s eyes flashed dangerously for a moment? No, his eyes were still menacing. His unwavering gaze, fixed solely on her, looked as if it could kill someone. But strangely, Kaela wasn’t afraid of that look.

“…I just ate too hastily.”

“The only person who said such things at that table was Lady Ravalley, and neither I nor Isidore think that way. I was pleased to see you eating well, Your Highness. Is my judgment wrong?”

Kaela once again met Peon’s eyes, which were still difficult to face directly. When she did, he smiled gently.

“You should eat well. Eat a lot, digest well, and become healthy. About the waistline comment, that was my mistake too. I apologize if it made you uncomfortable.”

“…It didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

Even thinking about it again, that was true.

“I was surprised that Your Highness took my side.”

Because she thought that would never happen.

“As your husband, of course I should.”

No. There was nothing “of course” between them.

“Thank you for playing the role of a husband.”

It was a relationship where she had to express gratitude like this precisely because it wasn’t natural.

“The waistline comment was something only my husband could say.”

“I do know it quite well, after all.”

“You do?”

“I do. You can tell roughly by touching.”

“Ah, so it’s based on experience.”

While Kaela calmly accepted this, Peon, who had been composed until now, suddenly became flustered.

“Experience, no, it’s not from experience, well it is experience but here in Lusenford it’s everyday to roughly estimate measurements for making things, not women. No. Absolutely not, Kaela. The only waist measurements I, I mean, that I know are mine and yours.”

Adeo de Chasser had always taught his daughter never to believe what men say.

Adeo’s main point was that words from a man with a clear past were especially nonsense, said only to sound good to the ear, and contained not a shred of sincerity. Kaela, who had grown up with this early education, didn’t believe those words.

She didn’t believe it, but Peon was so flustered and at a loss that she would have believed it immediately if she had heard those words before dying.

It was fascinating to see that even he could be flustered. That’s why Kaela laughed softly. She laughed because it was amusing to see the man who always looked down at her coldly now floundering because of her.

She laughed very slightly. It was a fleeting smile that would disappear quickly. But Peon looked at her with wide eyes. Did he think she was mocking him?

“Ah, I’m sorry…”

Before she could finish speaking, Peon reached out to her. His trembling hand, which had put down the brush, gently touched Kaela’s cheek. Although her body tensed instinctively, Kaela didn’t avoid it. They were already too close for her to avoid it.

“…Could you smile a little more?”

His voice was sorrowful as he carefully caressed Kaela’s lips, trembling as if afraid he might hurt her if he made a wrong move.

“I’ll try harder and make more effort than today, no, even more than today. So, could you smile a little more comfortably… is that not possible?”

Why was he asking so carefully? He asked painfully, as if he knew that Kaela had already lost her smile. As if he was desperately clinging to her.

Someone who has never had something notices changes keenly. That was Kaela. Though she couldn’t pinpoint what had changed, she sensed that she now had the upper hand.

The unkind and selfish heart from her past stirred again. Now Peon, the husband who had abandoned her, was desperately hoping for her to smile.

She smiled slightly again.

“If Your Highness makes an effort, of course I should too.”

And as Kaela answered like that, her eyes widened when she felt a gentle kiss, yet one stained with unbearable desire, affection, and deprivation.

Whether that answer was sincere or not didn’t matter to Peon. Even a perfunctory smile would do.

Even if it was a businesslike response, that was enough for him. He was ready to obey, rejoice, and be filled with ecstasy if Kaela just nodded casually in agreement.

So Peon was overjoyed. Overwhelmed and elated by her small smile, he kissed that smile. The moment Kaela smiled again, everything else ceased to matter.

‘Ah…?’

Even the curiosity about what this was completely evaporated from Kaela’s mind.

The kiss from the man who claimed to know only his and his wife’s waist measurements wasn’t very skillful.

Instead of technique, raw emotion was evident. It was a kiss that tried to suppress the urge to be rough and violent, striving to move gently, but occasionally losing self-control.

But it was clearly much better than last time. The man who had learned on his own, and at an incredibly fast pace, held her stably in his arms.

Kaela grabbed his arms and pulled him closer. Immediately, Peon began to delve deeper. It was overwhelming. He wanted her that much. He wanted Kaela, not Beatrice. That alone made Kaela happy.

“…Your Highness, Kaela.”

Beatrice? …Ah, it’s you.

He was recognizing Kaela clearly now. His eyes weren’t hazy with heat and confusion, unable to distinguish who was who, but clear eyes that held only her.

She had long wished to be the only one filling those eyes. She had wished so much that even wishing became painful, and she had given up along with death, but death hadn’t come yet. Not yet.

“Just a little more…”

His trembling lips, tense with nervousness, sought permission.

“…Is that alright?”

To the one asking for just a little more here, not even much more, Kaela smiled again.

It was fascinating and amusing, making her want to keep smiling. It was so intriguing and enjoyable to see him entranced by her smile, losing himself. Ah, was this why Beatrice had tried so hard to captivate men?

While many men had told Kaela her smile was pretty, it was the first time she found it so surprising and wanted to keep smiling like this.

“Don’t ask such questions from now on, Your Highness.”

If she could do what she wanted before death came calling, she might as well try. With no future, she would seize every moment and enjoy it fiercely. Why should she forcibly hold back something so fun and exciting?

What she had once wanted so badly that she even stole briefly, she could now have completely. Even the ugly and stupid Kaela could have it. She still wanted the man who was so stupid that he killed both her father and her.

“Will you allow it next time too?”

“For the next time, do you dislike it? Is one night enough for you?”

When she asked with a voice tinged with laughter, Peon hurriedly shook his head.

“It’s not enough.”

There was no way a single night could fill the deprivation and emptiness. His eyes, finally meeting the only being who could fill him, turned red.

“It’s insufficient.”

Kaela’s uncharacteristically bold provocation, which barely qualified as such, had an enormous effect on Peon. She sank completely into his arms and fell onto the bed.

“What I have is too great to end everything in just one night.”

The deprivation, desire, lingering attachment, and even the sin that couldn’t be called love were all unbearably intense.

“You are very delicate, aren’t you?”

Kaela wrapped her arms around the neck of the man who couldn’t take his eyes, body, and heart away from her. As her slender arms draped over his shoulders, Peon took a deep breath. His taut muscles tensed up.

Hyperion Sabrand Ferraro was nervous. Kaela wanted to smile even more broadly. He was nervous because of her. Everything was unbelievably kind to Kaela. It was a world worth dying for.

“I’m fine,” she whispered softly.

“It’s okay if it hurts more.”

She had already experienced it. Peon said he didn’t know women, but she knew men. More precisely, she had already experienced a husband. It was a stolen night she wanted so badly, and Kaela’s first sin.

“Kaela.”

She was startled at the suddenly lowered voice.

“Tell me to stop if you’re scared.”

“What?”

“Slap my cheek if it hurts.”

Peon brought her hand to his cheek.

“You shouldn’t hurt anymore.”

Then he buried his hot lips in her small palm.

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt.”

Noble young ladies were taught that the first night is always very painful. They learned that enduring pain is a woman’s destiny.

If it didn’t hurt, it would mean the husband was very skilled with women. Kaela, who had already been married for 4 years, believed those words came from experience.

“I’ll endure until it doesn’t hurt, Kaela.”

He looked at her as if worshipping her. Worship? It must be a misconception. Kaela mocked herself.

But what’s wrong with indulging in such a misconception? She happily looked back at him. How happy it was to be able to have such illusions.

“Don’t struggle.”

His voice and eyes, boiling with desire, confessed unspoken words. Isn’t this love?

Even if it’s just for a moment, his gaze and touch that were entirely for her held her tightly. A moan escaped between her lips, which had always been tightly closed except for necessary words.

If she were to die in such a kind world, it would be too happy.