You are at the End of the Downfall

It was a foolish contradiction. It was a lingering attachment that he knew he should give up but couldn’t, a terrible desire that kept sprouting no matter how violently it was cut down.

“And as you can see, I’ve recovered a lot, Your Highness.”

Peon quietly watched Kaela raising herself up in his bed.

He looked at her moving lips, her flowing hair, the glimpse of her elegantly long neck and fragile shoulders between them, her collarbone revealed through the muslin nightgown, and above all, her clear eyes. He felt dejected that those clear eyes showed no doubt at all.

“Your Highness. I’m grateful for your consideration, and…”

The violet eyes, flickering with shadows and flames, were fully focused on her.

“I appreciate that you treat me as a gentleman, but I hope you haven’t forgotten that sharing a bed with a man has a deeper meaning.”

Kaela stared at him for a moment at these clearly significant words. Peon waited for the silent criticism and disgust that was sure to follow. That would have been better.

He’d rather remain as a bastard with desires than become some lifeless object to her for the rest of his life. He wanted to remain that way, at least.

“I know what it means,” a small voice murmured.

“We’re married, after all.”

Something that should never have happened in Peon’s bleak world occurred.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said flatly.

Even at these emotionless words, his heart stopped, then started again as hot blood rushed through his veins, pulsing violently. He was truly a shameless man.

“That’s also a wife’s duty, isn’t it?”

For a moment, the black pupils within the purple irises contracted.

“Duty, is it?”

A low, deep voice approached her soft ear, scraping it with teeth.

“Your Highness seems to be very fond of duty.”

It’s now late at night, a dangerous time when a lonely man’s desire overcomes reason. The man sitting on the sofa, leaning forward with his upper body turned towards her, looked like a beast crouching to gather strength before pouncing on its prey.

“As the Grand Duchess, you said before that you would do your best to educate even a bastard child if your husband brought one, to be the heir. But what’s strange is…”

Kaela suddenly thought her arm hurt. The arm supporting her upper body was tingling. But she couldn’t move an inch.

She had the absurd thought that if she moved even slightly, the huge man in front of her would snatch her up in an instant.

“You never said you would bear my heir yourself.”

He rose and approached her. Even as her arm went from tingling to aching, Kaela didn’t move.

“Isn’t continuing the lineage the greatest duty of all?” he asked, still in a neutral tone that made it difficult to discern the emotions behind his words.

Before she could analyze it, Peon wrapped his arms around her sore one and easily sat her upright. The pain disappeared instantly.

But he didn’t let go of her arm. A heavy, fresh scent filled her nose, and his broad shoulders blocked her view. Kaela looked up to face her husband.

Would he really embrace her? It seemed impossible. She was an ugly, stiff block of wood.

Right now, Peon was just mocking her. That was fine too. After all, Kaela was the fool who had been desperate to see even a contemptuous smile. Since everything would end in death anyway, it really didn’t matter what happened.

“Why don’t you say such things? Do you dislike fulfilling that duty with me?”

In an instant, the distance closed until their breaths mingled, but Kaela neither avoided him nor showed surprise or embarrassment, apart from leaning back ever so slightly.

Still expressionless, her clear face began to irritate Peon, and he felt it starting to grate on his nerves.

“It’s okay for me to have a child with another woman, but not with you?”

Would he never have a chance with her, even after regressing? He knew it was shameless to hope, but it would be a lie to say he didn’t expect the loving gaze she had given him before he regressed.

But if even that wasn’t there, did it mean that even the affection he received before regressing was just his delusion?

If he had never received anything from Kaela, if he didn’t even have memories to cling to and endure for a lifetime, what should he do?

“Do you hate me that much?” he asked miserably and pitifully.

And he received an answer that would have been better if she had just said she hated him.

“No. It doesn’t matter.”

“I should fulfill my duty regardless of who my husband is.”

He burst out laughing, dumbfounded. His blood had cooled, but now it was rushing back rapidly.

“But would that be alright?”

“What, Kaela? For me? Or for you?”

“Both. Is it okay for you to do this with me?”

She was asking both if it was okay for him, and if it was okay for him to do this while the woman outside the door might be shocked.

“You’re worried about that too?”

Peon laughed dejectedly. Then, with all humor gone from his eyes, he looked directly at her. Just as Kaela, finally sensing danger, tried to back away, Peon pulled her closer with the hand that was holding her.

“You’ve already blown my mind, and now you’re telling me to back off?”

How could he let go now? How shameless of her. How desperately he had longed for her.

“That’s not what I…”

“That’s how it sounds, Kaela. It’s too transparent.”

So was it really okay then? The feelings, or rather desires, that she thought had disappeared after suffering for so long, raised their head within Kaela.

Even if the man who tried to steal her like a thief called it duty, he had come to her nonetheless. She should reject him as another woman’s man, but she wanted to cling to him, abandoning her conscience. She still felt that way.

“What use is it to hear that any other bastard would be fine besides me?”

Kaela noticed golden flecks appearing in the violet eyes that seemed about to devour her. The golden fragments clustered around his pupils were beautiful and shining wildly. And strangely, the black pupils were dilated, elongated… vertically?

“I only need you, Kaela.”

With a rough voice that blocked out all thoughts and senses, a large hand covered Kaela’s pale blue eyes. A hand burrowed through her hair, cradling the back of her neck, pulling her closer and completely eliminating what little distance remained between them.

The man who had seized the chance he thought he’d never get, greedily exploring, was desperately urgent. He desperately embraced the woman in his arms, swallowing her breath and stealing her lips over and over.

Only you.

I only wanted you.