When Kaela felt something off about the ledger numbers, her thoughts naturally turned to the silver tableware.
If the ledger was suspicious, wouldn’t the management of silver tableware be suspicious too? Just counting the visible pieces of silverware might provide evidence that the butler had been negligent in management, or perhaps even embezzled some.
Kaela, still keeping her mouth shut tight, nodded. She had planned to count them over several nights anyway. With just the basic knives numbering four, there were many types to count.
The couple stood in front of the cabinet and started counting from the dessert spoons and forks.
“There are thirty-four spoons.”
At his words, Kaela muttered the number of the last fork.
“…Thirty.”
Already the numbers didn’t match. It was faster to check the smaller items first. Kaela confirmed that there were nine cake-cutting tools shaped like large combs, and fourteen large forks for piercing meat dishes.
There were only five ladles for scooping various sauces to pour over dishes. Naturally, they would have made fewer of these tools used by servants carrying food at grand banquets, but still, the numbers shouldn’t be this different.
“What’s this, Kaela?”
“It’s for cutting and pushing food.”
“This… there are only seven. Wait a moment.”
The numbers to remember were gradually increasing. Peon returned to the butler’s office to fetch paper, pen, and ink. Even during the brief moment he was gone, Kaela’s gaze, sharpened by tension, followed him when he returned.
She’s afraid. She, of him, was afraid.
“How many dessert spoons were there again?”
That’s why Peon desperately tried to ask as if nothing was wrong. Like the close oppa from before, from a childhood that felt too distant even to Peon.
“Thirty-four.”
But he ignored the fact that he knew it was already irreversible. Once fear takes root, it’s hard to uproot. No, it was almost impossible.
“Ah, right. Thirty-four. Thirty dessert forks.”
The deliberately casual voice was detestable. He needed to send Kaela away quickly. To a far-off place, a safe place where warm, golden sunlight that resembled her poured down.
“Nine silver cake-cutting utensils.”
The sudden warmth, weight, and whispering voice made Peon dizzy. Dark ink spread thickly from the tip of the firmly pressed pen.
Kaela wondered if he could see to write, but Peon saw that black stain clearly. The black desire spreading in dots, mistakes, the stain left on Kaela’s life. A stain that wouldn’t easily wash off his hands.
“…Nine, you say.”
The already small woman nodded slightly beside him. A faint floral scent wafted from her loose hair.
The scent preserved in old memories enveloped him again. Sometimes lingering around, then forgotten amidst the brutal clashing of spears and swords, the sharp wind tearing through the air, and blood splattering. Now he remembered the scent.
So this was Kaela’s scent. It made sense that he hadn’t noticed when it suddenly disappeared one day. Peon had lived without knowing or appreciating good things. So even if they returned, he had no right to grasp them.
Someday later, when he found something completely unrelated to Kaela, yet pleasing to him, he must cherish it. He must not forget or let it go.
He made this resolution, but Peon felt that nothing good would come into his life unrelated to Kaela. Now that he realized who the most perfect being he knew was, how could there be anyone surpassing her?
“Fourteen large forks for cutting meat dishes. Five ladles for sauces.”
The quiet and calm voice speaking gently, the coolness in just stating numbers in a way that made it unclear whether she was being formal or informal, the boldness and wisdom to notice from just a few ledgers and come to check the most concrete evidence – all of it, everything was Kaela.
All the traces he had been longing for in old memories, without even realizing he was longing, were her.
He didn’t know what he liked or cherished, so even when he did like something, he couldn’t recognize that he liked it, and he pushed it away, causing it to fall.
Peon was already suffocating under the weight of the emptiness that one only sickens for after losing something.
“Five… again?”
“Seven food pushers. Four ice cream cutting knives.”
“Four is really too few.”
It’s a weight he’ll carry for life. Even if his heart is already crushed and crying out in pain, it’s too lenient a punishment for a criminal who committed an irreversible act out of foolishness and stupidity. Peon tried deliberately to act more calm and normal.
“Do you know what this is?”
“A ladle for scooping just the solid ingredients from soup dishes.”
“Then what about this?”
“All those shaped like that are for seafood.”
“There are hardly any shaped like this.”
Kaela’s blue eyes stared straight at him even in the darkness. They were saying, ‘That’s why it’s a problem.’
“Should there originally be many?”
Again, she just nodded her head once, emphatically. Peon smirked as he watched Kaela quickly turn her head and stare intently into the drawer, even in this situation where a large amount of silverware had disappeared.
“I see. I didn’t know.”
He felt ashamed for not knowing so much, and at the same time, he kept realizing anew that in such a pathetic situation, he couldn’t even stand shoulder to shoulder with Kaela. He was so inadequate.
“Let’s stop here for today.”
Why? Kaela looked up at him.
“It’s cold. The night is deep, and there’s too much to count. Not tomorrow, but the day after tomorrow, let’s come and count together.”
Tomorrow, the butler will be here until late at night. Peon thought hard about what Kaela, who was looking at him suspiciously, would consider important, and emphasized the part he guessed once more.
“Together. I’ll come to get you at night. Your lips are already blue. Let’s go.”
He folded the paper and put it inside his clothes, then tidied up and locked the cabinet. Erasing traces was Peon’s specialty. After slipping out of the office, he held Kaela’s hand and walked down the dim corridor.
“I won’t rashly expose this. The butler has too many escape routes.”
Again, eyes asking ‘Why?’ looked at him. Peon whispered softly in a voice only Kaela could hear.
“Lusenford has the powerful excuse of military funds, you know.”
Ah. Kaela nodded slightly in understanding. Whatever it was, if the butler prostrated himself and pushed it into military funds, Peon would have to show some leniency to some extent.
“For now, let’s just grasp everything. Our Princess needs to appoint a new head maid and butler, so please look for suitable candidates.”
Can I trust those words? Eyes full of doubt looked up at him. Then, inevitably, she answered in a small voice.
“Yes.”
The Grand Duke smiled meaninglessly again. The chilly corridor in the middle of the night was quite suitable for a stroll.
