You are at the End of the Downfall

Their Circumstances (2.1)

The moment Kaela slapped her own cheek hard enough to turn it red, all of Peon’s thoughts came to a halt.

She, who was always bright and cheerful, just slapped her pale cheek with a blank face. It was a strong force that anyone would think it must have hurt. Indeed, Kaela felt the pain.

It hurt. Her cheek was painfully numb to the point where she snapped back to reality. She couldn’t forgive herself just by hitting herself once for the emotion she dared to feel just now. So, she had to hit herself again.

She swung her hand hard.

“Kaela.”

With a low and powerful voice, Peon grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

“Why are you suddenly like this?”

This dream, it’s terrible. The burning cheek, the large hand covered in gloves holding her wrist, and the solid strength were too terrible. The hurriedly asking voice and the surprised gaze seemed to be worried.

‘Crazy girl.’

Kaela grumbled, blaming herself.

“I can’t wake up from the dream.”

She was still using formal language. Peon felt uncomfortable not because of the answer, but because of the tone. Even though they only met a couple of times a year, Kaela always called him ‘oppa’ and treated him as warmly as when they were young.

Even when others grew up and learned about the complicated royal family situation and distanced themselves from him, Kaela did not.

Even Kaela, who had everything taken away and was forced to marry him, initially acted as if the relationship between the two had not changed in private places, always showing him a smiling face.

The change in tone and attitude might be possible, but what bothered him was that Peon missed Kaela’s old attitude. He seemed to miss it much more than he thought.

Didn’t Kaela learn about noble titles? Calling correctly. What’s the logic of ignoring the law as you please while pretending to have learned well usually?

The one who erased the friendly attitude of Kaela, who had lost her father and was forced to marry but still treated him the same, was none other than him. He was the one who made the joyful memories of childhood completely nonexistent, regardless of the gold mine or whatever.

The young grand duchess, who had no one to rely on, tried hard with her known oppa and husband. She lost her laughter, lost her words, and was busy keeping the etiquette as he told her to.

“It’s okay to just sleep.”

“No, I can’t when Her Majesty the Empress has collapsed.”

The tired emperor, who picks on trivial things, had a high chance of jumping up if the empress collapsed and she dared to sleep. Having experienced so much, Kaela’s peripheral brain turned well in that direction.

Always maintain dignity, have patience, and treat others kindly, and someday rewards will come. It was the virtue that Kaela learned.

She tried to believe that this virtue would work in Lusenford, but the result was only a miserable death.

Dignity and patience? Kindness? All are laughable. What’s left for Kaela, who practiced that virtue diligently. She died miserably and horribly, not even a simple death.

So instead of maintaining dignity, she had to use her head, move first before being hit instead of having patience, and she had to act selfishly to the extreme instead of being kind to barely survive. No, even then, the chances of surviving in this brutal palace were slim.

“Then you can just stay awake. Why did you do that when it hurts.”

The grand duke, who was her husband, kept examining her cheek.

Oh, such a worried look. If she was just a known younger sister, not his wife, she could receive such worry easily. Is it a joke of God? Or is it an illusion? Or a nightmare? Whatever it is, it’s cruel.

‘Why did the person who contributed to killing Father save Father this time?’

It doesn’t make sense. Kaela, who still couldn’t come to her senses and leaned on Peon out of habit, and even slapped her trembling cheek, tried hard to regain her senses.

Think calmly. Calmly.

“That’s right, why did you do that when it hurts. Never do it again.”

Adeo, who was surprised at his daughter slapping her cheek, also spoke firmly and strongly.

“Yes.”

Kaela answered insincerely and thought. She had to be careful, not knowing why the girl who died in the northern tower was here, whether it was a prank of the evil dragon Gusalante, or whether the emperor played with a magic tool, or what.

‘It’s not just because Father is alive.’

As long as there was still the emperor, she had to live with her heart pounding, not knowing when she would die.

The emperor continued to covet Ostein, a territory full of gold bestowed directly by the previous emperor. Isn’t it still gathered here, the emperor’s watchful eyes? Thinking about it, fatigue came again.

‘Wasn’t it okay to just die?’

For Kaela, who was already tired, it was a painful thing to live hard again. So, she just wished that this vivid moment was just a dream.

“Bring a handkerchief and towel.”

While Peon was ordering, Duke Ostein held his daughter’s hand as if he was dumbfounded. The palm was also swollen red as to how fiercely she slapped her cheek.

“If you’re sleepy, you should sleep. If you want to chase sleep, walk around. What is this? Never do this again.”

But Kaela forgot her tired heart in an instant at the gentle voice. The rough hand of her father wrapped around her wrist was warm, and the scolding voice was full of affection.

For some reason, Kaela’s eyes became hot belatedly, and she bowed her head.

 

This is what it means to be alive. The affection and attention she had received a long time ago were pouring out again naturally.

“Yes.”

Her voice was hoarse, and Kaela hurriedly swallowed her tears.

Seeing her father again, she was so glad and happy that she even forgot the thought of wanting to escape all this by death. This might be an overwhelming opportunity. Maybe God pitied her and revived her.

“Kaela.”

A blunt voice called her. The moment she turned her head carelessly, a cold wet towel touched her cheek. When she was startled, Peon lowered his voice a little more.

“Stay still. It’s swollen a lot.”

“Give it to me.”

When Kaela quickly reached out for the wet towel, Peon silently soaked the towel in the basin, wrung it tightly, and applied it to her swollen palm as well.

“I can do this myself. Thank you.”

“Show me your palm.”

She tried to quickly pull out her hand, but the firm tone did not let her go. It was hard to refuse the tone of a man whom she was accustomed to giving her orders.

It wasn’t easier because she had tried harder to look better in front of him for the past four years.

He put a cold towel on her reddened palm, and he also accurately reapplied the towel to her face, which Kaela had only roughly applied because she couldn’t see the mirror.

This man is definitely not a kind person. She, who had to lower her gaze because it was hard to even make eye contact, had her mind wandering around the cold Lusenford before she knew it.

She suffered a lot there. Colds and body aches were common, and slipping on the frozen stairs and breaking a bone was probably the most serious injury. She even fell and got hurt in front of the grand duke.

“I can do it.”

[Your Highness, it seems that Her Highness the Grand Duchess has a fracture.]

She remembered that time vividly. The stone stairs, which were more dangerous because they were shiny due to repeated freezing and melting, the severe pain, people looking at her and murmuring, and the Grand Duke of Lusenford, who only looked down coldly.

Since there was a party ahead at the time, the two had to enter together. It hurt so much that she was sweating cold, but he gestured casually as if it was annoying.

[Let her in.]

It was a gesture to get out of the way. There was no word to call a doctor. As always, he didn’t even look at her, who was groaning with a broken bone.

In Lusenford, if you were sick, it was your loss. The cold gaze of the maids who took care of her without sincerity, and the neglect of the husband who wouldn’t even visit the stables when the horse gave birth or was injured–all of this was poison to Kaela.

Even if she hadn’t been driven to death as a spy, it was a place where she couldn’t live long. There, Kaela was less than a horse or a hunting dog.

“Give it to me.”

In other words, if she hadn’t been forced to marry, they could still have a friendly relationship. However, she died and it was over, and now Peon was a completely unrelated person to her and not her known husband, yet the sorrow of not being respected still came up.

“Kaela.”

Peon quietly called her.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Kaela’s blue eyes widened. She looked at Peon as if she was looking at some strange creature. Why is he like this?

“Or is it because we haven’t seen each other in a long time?”

He forced a smile. It was hard to properly meet her eyes, which were not deep blue but so bright that they were dazzling. It seems that there was that much shame left.

“Why are you suddenly speaking formally?”

“That’s right. You used to call me ‘oppa’ well.”

At the age of twenty-one, before Adeo died, Kaela had been using informal language to Peon from a young age and should have called him ‘oppa’, not ‘Your Highness the Grand Duke’.

It was natural because they had been playing together since they were very young. From then on, he was just Peon oppa.

“Have you decided to be formal because you’ve grown up?”

At her father’s laughing words, Kaela was very embarrassed.

“Ah.”

She had completely forgotten. There was a time like that.

The moment she became the Grand Duchess, her status changed, and the naive girl who used to follow her beloved oppa around was erased in front of the obligation to abide by the law properly in Lusenford.

It was a past that was too old for Kaela to recall, or meaningless and had completely disappeared.

“Tell me if I did something wrong. I won’t do it again.”

Peon took the wet towel that Kaela was holding against her reddened cheek, that wasn’t held properly, and applied it back to her cheek.

“So treat me as you used to.”

It’s not that Kaela, who hasn’t lost anything yet, came here just to hear the stiff tone of the Grand Duchess of Lusenford from her mouth.

‘…It must be because it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.’

Yes. So that’s why Kaela is speaking formally, there’s no other reason. Peon clenched the wet towel with his trembling fingers without realizing it.

****

 

Comment

  1. mooniecatlady says:

    my.. it’s hurt. really it pierced my heart💔 poor Kaela.. idk whether they’d be a couple or not but i’d definitely welcome to anything Kaela wanted such as be with Hyperion or died peacefully.. it’s alright Kaela, you deserved betterT^T

  2. lilianasabitha says:

    I love the way the writer write thw story and the translation is quite amazing… thank u

    I dont want the grand duke to be happy or received love from Kaela.. he didnt deserved her.. just make him a mad man

    this is the story that I want to read when the FL and the MLis not bei g together

  3. faranak says:

    Thanks for translating.and i feel her sadness….

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