Purple eyes emerged from the darkness. The sensitive dragon could tell how much time had passed without checking the clock.
’40 minutes.’
He had no memory of those 40 minutes. But as Kaela’s knight, he had faithfully performed his duty during those 40 minutes. If anyone had moved or if any malicious presence had invaded, he would have opened his eyes immediately.
‘…Did I fall asleep?’
From the moment he recognized his sin, he had trouble sleeping, and after awakening, he lost sleep entirely. Being a dragon, he had endured until now. Since Kaela ordered him not to die, he couldn’t dare die from something like this.
When he closed his eyes, his consciousness would fly back to that cold northern tower, to the time when Kaela had lost everything and Peon was infuriatingly foolish and incompetent.
He never tried to prevent it or to sleep properly. His madness grew day by day as he watched his wife die miserably or felt the pain she had felt, but he made no attempt to stop it.
How dare a sinner refuse punishment?
Even though Kaela sometimes smiled at him, even though she seemed to briefly enjoy life sometimes, the cruel torture would unfailingly come every night. It was like a warning not to make the mistake of forgetting his sins in that ecstasy.
But where had he been for those 40 minutes?
‘What was I doing and where?’
Peon searched his mind again. The Northern Tower wasn’t the only place his consciousness flew to. Sometimes, like a nightmare, all sorts of sins he had committed against Kaela would mix together.
Kaela breaking her leg after slipping on frozen stairs, Kaela coughing in a room full of cold air, Kaela being accused of even choosing flowers to send to her father’s grave, Kaela being falsely accused of trying to poison her husband.
Peon watched with clear consciousness as his foolish and pathetic self committed sins, over and over again.
Is there a memory of being such a pathetic bastard who only made his small and young wife cry, let alone treating her well when she was struggling so hard?
No, that’s not it either. Then what did he do for those 40 minutes? Peon carefully got up, leaving Kaela undisturbed.
‘No way.’
Could it be that he dared to fall asleep? When he shouldn’t have dared to do so?
He ran his sin-filled hand across his face.
Kaela, who still wasn’t fully healed after being filled with wounds and mindlessly wanting to die for 4 years – what face did he have to take rest? No, even if Kaela became okay, he shouldn’t be okay. He had no right to be.
Just being by Kaela’s side for life had already used up all his brazenness. Being her husband was already more than he deserved, so nothing more was allowed.
He must not forget his sins. Peon slipped out of bed.
‘You crazy bastard.’
Crazy bastard, shameless bastard – even though he was crazy, he shouldn’t be brazenly crazy like this, but because Kaela was so generous in forgiving and embracing him, he kept seeking comfort without knowing his place.
He roughly threw on a robe and in one step entered the Northern Tower of Lusenford. The cold air was felt, but it was rather welcome. He needed to bury his head in this cold air and lingering smell of rotting corpses to come to his senses.
If the Emperor and Beatrice were to never escape from pain for life, so should Peon. That was fair to Kaela. While Peon had two enemies, Kaela had three. He knew the weight of life.
As one who managed the battlefield, he had valued even a single soldier’s life as precious. Then weren’t Duke Ostein’s life and Kaela’s life precious?
Ah. Therefore, he must not escape this punishment. Having gained everything and achieved revenge, he should at least suffer at night.
Going back in time doesn’t erase sin. That’s why he took revenge on the Emperor and Beatrice. Therefore, Peon’s sin remained. Only the generous Kaela had given him consideration for extenuating circumstances.
‘I shouldn’t forget by becoming comfortable.’
Peon covered his face while leaning against the cold wall. Even if Kaela said he could forget, he shouldn’t forget. That’s how it was.
He was a criminal who deserved to be branded and pointed at for life. He knew well that before Kaela, he was no different from the Emperor or Beatrice.
They were family. He was supposed to be the oppa and husband who should have protected her. Kaela had only Peon, but he treated her worse than a warhorse. So how was he any different? Sometimes just seeing him must be painful.
When memories of the humiliation she received surface, the faint smile on her lips would disappear in an instant. The crime of destroying someone’s personhood must never be forgotten no matter what. Yet he dared to forget for 40 minutes.
With a thud, a mass of heavy muscle and bone fell to the floor. The weight of sin was too heavy to bear. Blood splattered on the wall where criminals had died scratching at it.
‘I wish Kaela had cut me instead.’
That would have been truly proper punishment. Looking at his severed arm, Peon still couldn’t shake the pathetic and shameful feeling. With no one to punish him, he was just self-harming like an idiot.
He rubbed his face with his one remaining hand. Should he throw everything away and disappear? Isn’t that what he should do as a sinner?
Despite having no right to enjoy anything, he keeps circling around Kaela like a dog trying to receive a little more. If he vanished, if he disappeared like that, Kaela, the pure victim, would be happy…
[You always listen to what I say seriously, honey.]
[You won’t stay quiet if I get upset.]
Again with a thud, a mass of muscle rolled on the floor with dirt and blood.
With only two limbs remaining out of four, Peon couldn’t stand and collapsed. Only when sustaining injuries severe enough for a normal person to die from blood loss did his head work a little better.
The more time he spends with Kaela, the heavier the weight of his position becomes. He must live trying not to forget his sins even while viewing this torment and suffering as punishment by her side.
Because her presence was so sweet, he was writhing in this pain to remind himself once again of the weight of his sins.
“…Ho, honey?”
As soon as he heard the call, Peon exhaled. Arms and legs left hanging limply regenerate extremely quickly unless burned.
Even if burned, it only delays by a few seconds. He wiped away the blood and moved urgently to respond immediately to that call.
“Where did you go…?”
It was a small, fragile voice that could only be heard by listening closely and holding one’s breath.
Though he thought she would never wake up because he had held her so tightly, Kaela awoke from her exhausted, almost fainted sleep. While washing away the blood, Peon transcended space to hold her limp hand.
“I’m here.”
The warm, small body confirmed his presence and fell into his arms without any wariness. Kaela had been about to get up, supporting herself on the bed. Only two hours had passed since he woke up.
“Why did you wake up?”
He asked in the smallest voice possible to keep the sleepiness from flying away.
“Where did you go?”
But Kaela asks back while feeling his body with her hands. As if she knows what he was doing and where.
“…Just, outside for a moment.”
“Why?”
Unable to answer Kaela who had trembled at the fact of being a fellow victim, Peon remained silent.
“Don’t go anywhere.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Can’t sleep?”
The answer that he had never slept didn’t come out either.
“Do you dislike being with me?”
“What, how could that be possible?”
Peon’s voice rose instantly.
“Then where did you go?”
Having made her ask twice, now he couldn’t avoid answering.
“…Lusenford.”
That place name contained everything. The northern tower where Kaela was imprisoned, the cave where Peon had completely carved up his body – it’s all Lusenford.
Kaela smelled the moisture that hadn’t yet faded and the faint remaining scent of blood. Just like when she was kidnapped to the cave and found Peon.
“Let’s sleep.”
At those words, Peon wordlessly picked her up and headed to the bed. Kaela embraced the man carrying the cool chill on this hot summer night.
After hesitating, he finally burrowed into her narrow shoulders. Because he knows that no matter how much he tries to push away, he doesn’t even have the right to push away. Rather, he should quietly submit to defeat.
“Don’t go anywhere.”
And he absolutely obeys. Thin arms without any strength constrained him. The giant dragon melted away, unable to move an inch within those arms.
Without digging deeper to press him or giving any reason for her will to keep him by her side, Kaela closed her eyes. Yes. This much is enough for now.
****
When sunlight tickled her face, Kaela opened her eyes. Having exhausted herself in bed and woken up in the middle to find Peon, she woke up late.
The man she had fallen asleep holding was now holding her instead. Well, if she had kept holding him while sleeping, Kaela would have been crushed by his bulk.
“You’re awake?”
After briefly leaning into the hand stroking her hair in a daze, Kaela glanced at her husband.
“Did you sleep?”
That completely subdued voice asks that question first thing after waking up. Peon gave a bitter smile. Inwardly vowing to never leave the bed at night again, he nodded.
“A little.”
In addition to the 40 minutes, he had brazenly slept about an hour more. Nightmares invaded after that, but he had slept nonetheless. Kaela studied his face for a while as if measuring something, then nodded. If he said he slept, that was enough.
“We’re quite late today.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I thought you would have gone ahead.”
Like yesterday.
“I won’t do that anymore from now on.”
Why would he send his wife alone for anyone’s sake? Peon shook his head. Better to let Kaela sleep in and arrive late himself.
He should stick close and escort his wife right to her office door so no good-for-nothing can approach.
There was also a base desire to show off that he, none other than he himself, was Kaela de Chasser’s husband. It was his only pride.
“Will you go around together?”
“Don’t get tired of me already. I plan to stick with you until we die of old age.”
“You changed suddenly?”
“I just slightly modified it to stick closer, the essence is the same.”
Kaela just laughed at the glib response. With that one laugh, Peon barely managed to feel relieved.
“Are you eating breakfast? You haven’t eaten yet, right?”
“Kaela, right now it’s already lunch time, not breakfast.”
After a long yawn, Kaela left the bed being carried by him.
“It’s a typical noblewoman’s day, what’s wrong with that?”
“It’s a miracle to hear such words from your mouth.”
“I’ve decided to live more lazily from now on.”
Though her diligence had stemmed from the obsession that she couldn’t survive otherwise, it was welcome news to hear, but Peon knew.
Kaela just started her day a little later today, but she would live an extremely diligent life. Even at its most relaxed, it wouldn’t be the life of a lady who had never experienced deviation.
Perhaps her only chance to be corrupted would have to be provided by the man beside her, who was more wicked and shameless than a demon?
****
Even Peon, who considered himself ‘more wicked and shameless than a demon’, was actually as diligent as Kaela.
He was especially diligent in revenge. All revenge must be diligently completed without a single error to perfection. This wasn’t because Peon’s grudge was particularly deep, but because Kaela’s life needed to remain smooth going forward.
There was a need to steadily and faithfully stamp out the wicked ones who would sprout up like weeds if left alone. Ah, he doesn’t end it by burning them.
While they unhesitatingly commit acts that torment others and show no empathy, they have no tolerance when it comes to their own pain, jumping around frantically before collapsing completely. So ending their lives would be quite bland.
“Wouldn’t… wouldn’t it be better to take a position you could rise to?”
The Crown Prince asked with a death-black face. Only after touching did he realize who he had messed with.
“The coronation will be held in autumn.”
But Peon, whose face was especially bright today, muttered while looking around the Emperor’s bedroom. Fearful gazes kept following him.
“From then on, do as you please, but don’t create more troublesome matters.”
The Crown Prince belatedly realized that pride was useless in the face of terror.
No, he had tasted enough terror to shatter both his pride and self-esteem. He prostrated himself flat, saying he would even give up the throne, but the dragon didn’t even pretend to listen.
“What, what do you want exactly?”
The Crown Prince asked, trembling, unable to understand why he didn’t want even the throne! Peon raised his head.
“I want the Crania that Your Highness will ascend to.”
Meeting the maliciously curling lips and twisted gaze, the Crown Prince became even more terrified. He must not ascend to the throne.
It’s already a throne that has lost all magic tools for control and surveillance. If he goes as that mad dragon wishes, nothing remains but destruction. This is terrible.
Peon turned his head again as if it were nothing. Then he lightly tapped the Emperor’s brilliantly sparkling crown.
“The Regency Council will be dissolved.”
Those words sounded so frightening to the Crown Prince. He who had committed various acts desperately wanting to become Emperor now had the throne before him but felt no joy. Now he understood. He should not become Emperor.
“I, I lack experience…”
The weak Crown Prince finally acknowledged his own incompetence through a kind of harsh education he had experienced.
“You can resolve things by judging wisely based on past experiences.”
But Peon cut him off mercilessly. No, he seemed to be toying with him.
“Since Duke Ostein and I will perform the role of protecting the north and south, Your Highness can freely pursue your politics in the center.”
What could be more unsettling than those words to freely pursue? It sounded like saying he would die if he acted carelessly.
The Crown Prince was so terrified, unable to guess what this dragon in human form would do next. But there was nowhere to turn to. There was no longer anywhere to turn to.
“If my wife wanted that seat that you two sat in turn, it might be worth considering.”
Peon muttered while looking at the bed where the Emperor lay.
“But she says it’s troublesome. Come to think of it, I find it troublesome too.”
When the sharp purple eyes directly gazed at him, the Crown Prince flinched again.
“Since you must have learned a lot this time, I have no doubt you’ll do well as you did before.”
Consistently incompetent and consistently foolish.
****
At the beginning of autumn overlapping with the end of late summer, the new Emperor ascended.
By then, Peon’s average daily sleep time had become about 30 minutes.
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