Most of the books Kaela read sang about the fruits of love. Not just books.
The whole world was like that.
Everyone talked about getting married for love and having children as its fruit. Even politically arranged marriages were packaged that way on the surface.
Of course, Kaela and Peon’s marriage was an exception. It was an overtly political marriage that failed to be packaged as anything else, as there was nothing to work with. A marriage that was a loss for both the groom and bride’s sides despite being politically arranged.
That’s why Kaela knew nothing of love that succeeded in bearing fruit. That was a story unrelated to her.
The love that Kaela de Chasser had experienced was a sin that couldn’t even be called love, and being a sin, it shouldn’t have been formed and ended as mere dregs of a heart that was despised.
So she only knew one-sided love, nothing beyond that.
It’s an incredible miracle for two people with the same feelings to face each other. Such a miracle couldn’t happen to her. Not to such a pathetic, unlucky, and inadequate Kaela.
“Kaela.”
The owner of that voice kept calling her name despite her being right in front of him.
He lifted her up so she couldn’t stand on the floor alone, and kept kissing her wherever he could reach. He was like a massive natural disaster. Unable to resist and with no way to do anything about it, Kaela could only be swept along.
Is this okay?
“Lost in thought again.”
Eventually, he bit her cheek. Though it was gentle, it was enough to make Kaela’s eyes go wide.
“Why, why……”
I knew this would happen. Peon smiled as he watched her face gradually become tearful. No matter how he thought about it, Kaela really made a losing marriage.
“I-I never said I would do it!”
“But you did kiss me.”
“Why are you biting?”
“Because you’re too cute.”
Her eyes grew even rounder and bigger.
“Because you’re too beautiful.”
The blue eyes blinked repeatedly before glancing at him.
“…beautiful?”
Instead of answering, Peon bit her cheek once more. Every time he looked at her, he thought the same thing – she was too thin. He needed to fatten her up more.
Due to her food-related trauma, Kaela ate too little. No matter how much he fed her, she would often collapse and return to liquid diet, leaving no time to gain weight.
“You’re beautiful.”
His heart ached with love.
“You’ve always been beautiful.”
He muttered while carrying her and walking somewhere.
While Kaela was dazed from kissing, the pen had already returned to its place. Compared to how wildly she was swept along, Peon was too skilled. Was it natural due to their age difference?
“I see.”
Kaela found that curious. Peon stopped walking.
“What, don’t you believe it?”
“How can you tell just by looking at my expression?”
Is it that obvious? Kaela released her hold on Peon to touch her face. He quickly supported her back.
“I’m really good at controlling my expressions…? Strange. Why does it show?”
“Because I pay a lot of attention to you.”
Peon resumed walking. But wouldn’t they hit a wall going this direction?
“And you haven’t controlled your expressions in front of me for quite a while now. Since Lusenford.”
“Is that so?”
Ever since she drank poison and collapsed in front of him, controlling her expressions became unnecessary.
Because there were no expressions to control. It was too bothersome to care about every little thing, and it wasn’t worth it. She had hidden her expressions to survive, but if there was no reason to survive, there was no need to do it.
“You’re the most beautiful in the world.”
They didn’t hit a wall. Somewhere, there was the sound of waves crashing, splash, splash. And the cries of seabirds, screech, screech. But instead of looking around, Kaela looked at Peon with round eyes.
“R-really?”
Peon sighed while looking at the bright southern seaside sky.
“Yes. This is my fault too.”
“Hmm? What is?”
“That you don’t believe my words. I understand, but……”
He furrowed his brows and swallowed the indignation that crept up at times like this. It was his fault. In front of Kaela, it was his fault, so he had to suppress his indignation.
“No, I understand. I understand, but I don’t want to be misunderstood.”
Peon set his tiny wife, who couldn’t take her eyes off him at all, down on the beach.
Barefoot, Kaela stepped on the soft white sand. Her wide blue eyes kept following her husband who bent down to lift her dress hem.
“You’re the only woman I know. The only woman I want to know.”
Her small toes curled, pinching the sand.
“You’re my first everything.”
He too failed at controlling his expression and frowned.
“Nothing happened with me and that woman who wasn’t herself. It wasn’t done with my right mind, nor my will. What you saw was everything. I never thought she was beautiful, and I’ve never been involved with any other women. There’s only you, but you…”
You’re already hurt beyond repair.
At the end of his outpouring words, he bit his lip as a curse tried to escape. Damn it. Would it be less frustrating if he had actually done something to cause the hurt?
No, if he had been such garbage to do that, he should be researching ways to kill himself now, not shamelessly showing his face in front of Kaela.
“…though it might be hard to believe, I have a clear conscience.”
That one thing, being able to face himself, was barely enough to let him stand before Kaela.
“Though it’s my fault that you can’t believe me…”
“Who’s this other woman?”
Peon, who had been adjusting her thin, cool dress hem up to around her knees, paused.
“Who is it? Quickly, tell me her name.”
Only then did he look up at Kaela. She was frowning deeply. How many women had been very forward with Peon?
“Exclude Baroness Sandrum and Eleanor Langer. I already know about them.”
“Who are they?”
“The other women you just mentioned!”
Her small shoulders trembled after she shouted.
“I don’t know those names.”
Peon answered in genuine confusion.
“You don’t know?”
“Of course I don’t. I don’t even know the names you just mentioned. I only know where Sandrum is, and I just learned it’s a baronetcy.”
“You don’t know the women’s names?”
“No. They’re annoying and unpleasant and I don’t want to know.”
The displeasure on his handsome face was genuine. Kaela gasped in surprise. Oh my. It seems to be true.
“Really, really, am I your first everything?”
“Yes.”
“Am I the most beautiful?”
“You’re the only beautiful one.”
“More than Beatrice?”
Peon frowned again at that childish question and looked up at her.
“Why are you comparing yourself with that…!”
“Everyone says she’s beautiful. They say she’s the most beautiful in Crania.”
Kaela protested with round eyes.
“That’s just because the loud ones made a big fuss about it. Those people probably don’t say that anymore. Above all, you don’t care about what others say.”
The violet eyes always saw through her. Kaela avoided his gaze. No, no. What he just said was wrong. That’s not what she wanted to hear.
“…you’re too beautiful to compare. I don’t even want to mention them together with you, so please don’t say such things.”
Only then did the blue eyes meet his again.
“Really everything is your first?”
How many times has she asked now? It must be that important. Peon nodded while judging how high to lift her dress.
“Yes.”
“Then how are you so good at everything?”
“How do you know if I’m good or bad?”
When he asked back, Kaela fidgeted with her clasped hands.
“Did you have someone else to compare with besides me?”
“No, no! I’m frustrated because there isn’t anyone!”
“I know.”
By then, Peon had somehow managed to lift and secure her dress hem up to her knees.
Though unfamiliar and difficult, this is what magic is for. He nodded and stood up. His large hands held her fidgeting ones.
“But Kaela.”
Ah, the sea. Only when Peon turned his back to the sea did Kaela notice the blue ocean.
“When you look for women who don’t exist with me and get upset, I too…”
Feel a bit wronged. No, this is something he dares not say out loud.
“Get upset.”
The blue eyes trembled and became downcast.
“I’m sorry.”
The immediate apology was full of sincerity.
“No, you don’t need to apologize. You have reason to be upset.”
He gently pulled her small hand. White feet stepped on white sand, moving forward.
“You do. You have plenty of reasons not to believe me.”
The heated sand crumbled beneath their feet. Peon kept walking forward. Toward the quietly approaching, transparently blue sea.
“I’m good?”
“Yes.”
“I’m glad my best efforts are working.”
“You’re trying?”
“Of course. I try to listen to you well, observe you, and express my feelings as much as I’m allowed.”
The dry sand had already changed to wet sand. Still, he kept moving forward.
“I feel so sorry about how our first night went.”
Splash, a wave caressed Kaela’s feet before rushing away again. A bit cold but pleasant.
“I tried my best to make it not hurt. I’m glad if you say I did well. Is it cold?”
“No.”
Peon was now holding both her hands.
“You’re my first and last everything too.”
Carefully, step by step, they moved closer to the sea. Once more the sea caressed her feet. This time it wet up to her ankles.
“You’re too good for me.”
Peon stopped walking when the water reached just up to their ankles.
“How is it?”
“I’m not too good for you.”
“No, you are too good, but that’s not what I meant. We promised to dip our feet in the sea.”
Ah. Kaela looked down at the rippling seawater. Then looked back up at Peon.
“Today feels quite healthy.”
He looked down at the seawater. Unlike the harsh northern sea, the sea at this perfect summer resort was calm, transparent, and beautiful.
Of course, the ocean stretching from north to south would naturally obey and remain silent at its ruler’s command who had dipped his feet in it.
“It’s peaceful. Do you like it?”
His gazing eyes were gentle. Kaela wanted to pull her hands free. Pull free, turn around, and run away.
She wanted to hide behind those distant trees and just peek out with her eyes to watch him from very far away. That was Kaela’s place. A familiar place.
But as if he sensed those thoughts, Peon narrowed his eyes and claimed her pink lips that were moving without speaking.
A cool, clear energy flowed in. More intense than the breath that saved her when her lungs collapsed from falling in the river, more potent than the medicine that restored her strength when she collapsed from drinking the poisoned rose tea – life itself.
Peon, who had shared his diluted energy, reluctantly pulled his lips away. The sight of Kaela slowly opening her eyes with flushed cheeks was etched into his retina. She shone brilliantly in the summer sunlight.
“You remembered the promise?”
“Of course I remembered.”
I see. Kaela held his hands tightly, as if suppressing her desire to run away.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. But, Kaela.”
It’s okay to be in front. It’s okay to face each other. Even though I showed my inadequate side, even that was okay. Have we become a bit more normal now?
“…Do you dislike me because I’m dirty?”
He asked carefully.
“Do I make you uncomfortable?”
No, no, we’re not normal. We’re moderately broken, unable to be honest despite harboring overwhelming affection for each other.
“I’m jealous, you idiot.”
Her tearful voice broke with the waves.
“I’m not uncomfortable, I like you!”
But we can offer clumsy comfort. Just as keeping small promises and gentle answers became comfort for her, she sincerely hoped these embarrassing feelings would become comfort for him.
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