Could he ever forget that terribly cold day? Peon was so tormented that he couldn’t forget it even as he beat his head until it bled.
His fingers gripping the sword were stuck from the cold and wouldn’t move, and his body pierced by arrows had frozen, dulling even the pain. No, these days, the hunger like a hole larger than the spear that once pierced his body was more familiar.
The day the wife and husband died in the same place. No, wait. The day a lowly scum worse than trash died helplessly beside a noble woman without even retrieving her body.
Peon distinctly remembered who he met on that day when he had accomplished nothing, whose face he killed, and what conversations he had.
He also remembered the words Beatrice had laughed at, her voice tearing through his ears while standing before his wife’s gaunt corpse. All her words were correct.
All her words were correct, and she had already laid hands on Kaela back then. He had mulled over the suspicious opened door helplessly, but he never expected to hear the reason from Kaela.
“So I said the right thing……”
Kaela murmured in his embrace. She waited for him, her fingers curling up, while he said nothing during washing. Even after he finished washing and didn’t speak, she opened her mouth.
“Tell me.”
Just as he carefully wiped her body clean, Kaela also tried to wipe the water from his muscular body with her weak hands.
“Don’t do it.”
Peon took the towel from her hand. But Kaela firmly grabbed the edge of the towel.
“I can do something too. Oppa, no, uh, um.”
Her face reddened again, but Kaela earnestly called out that awkward form of address.
“Honey.”
She called it out, unable to meet his eyes, but still able to call him that.
“If it’s something only I can do, something I can hear, I can do it. I can listen.”
She barely looked up at her husband, who was putting on a gown. Her cheeks and ears were red. Her blue eyes looking straight at him were incredibly clear.
“…… Because it’s you, I don’t want to say it.”
Peon spoke softly.
“It’s too dirty and cowardly. How you……, when I heard that sound.”
He couldn’t even bring himself to say ‘you died’.
“The first thought I had……”
Kaela still sat beside him, obediently waiting for his words.
“If only that damn woman hadn’t existed.”
This was the minimum insult replacing Beatrice’s name and the most harsh words he could say in front of Kaela.
With a terrifying sound, his jaw muscles tensed. His throat moved once more, and his large hand covered her hair with the towel. In a moment, Kaela could only see the towel covering her eyes.
“You should have lived.”
His voice trembled miserably.
“How can you have such a thought? It’s cowardly.”
A cowardly statement, too shameful to show his face, spoken only after covering it.
“That was what that girl wanted, and that’s why before I left, I……, did that to you.”
Poisoned her, further shortening her already short and painful life.
“Because of me. Purely to make me suffer.”
He closed his mouth, unable to say more. A small hand came to rest on top of his large, weakening hand.
“I know.”
She remembered that when Beatrice first saw Kaela, her first words were ‘troublesome’.
“If I hadn’t died then, would you have saved me? You were going to save me, right?”
It was always Kaela who opened his taciturn mouth.
“Of course I would save you, so……”
Peon was speechless. Of course he would save her. As soon as he realized the truth, he had abandoned everything and went looking for Kaela first.
“Oh, I think I understand now.”
A tiny, slow voice continued from under the towel.
“You came looking for me and saw my corpse?”
Could she really say something so cheerfully? Kaela was excited that she had pieced together the situation, regardless of Peon’s bewilderment.
“Oh, yes. That makes sense. Right?”
“Right.”
Right, do whatever you want. As always, he easily gave in to everything in front of Kaela.
Being an obedient husband was the best he could do. Having already committed acts far from human, the least he could do was listen well.
“So maybe you also saw Beatrice, that……”
Kaela, who didn’t even want to call her ‘sister’, hesitated and then blurted out.
“Bad girl?”
This was probably the first curse she had ever spoken.
After living through such harsh times, one would naturally develop cursing habits, but her first curse was merely “bad girl”. Peon lifted the towel and kissed the tip of Kaela’s pure white nose.
“Yes, I saw her. She was crawling in after I entered.”
“Oh, that’s strange. I saw her before I died.”
“I was outside, thinking I’d let her be there just long enough for me to find you.”
Peon, who had lived believing in the code of chivalry that one must be noble and just, who had been indoctrinated to live that way, had cursed and condemned her to despair seeing the greatest sin he had committed.
“Oh, that’s truly Beatrice Ravalley’s style.”
Kaela nodded and understood. She was well aware of Beatrice’s method of capturing someone at their most shameful and painful moment and openly mocking them.
“But, oh, no, honey. Something’s a bit strange.”
“What is it, honey?”
Instantly, a blush spread across her pure white face. Oh, how adorable.
“I hope you’ll answer without teasing me.”
“I’m not teasing. I just need to be careful with how I address you. I’m trying so hard to call you that.”
Peon looked sideways, so he quickly asked seriously,
“What’s strange?”
“Why was Beatrice even there in the first place?”
He wiped Kaela’s moisture dry, quickly picked her up and sat her down, and began properly drying her hair.
“Something didn’t seem right. If things had gone well, she wouldn’t have been in Lusenford. But thinking about it…”
Thinking was difficult for Kaela, but she tried to gather some strength. It wasn’t forced strength.
“Driven by hatred?”
Peon helped and thought together. So it was less difficult.
“Yeah. It’s strange.”
He spoke about what Kaela would most dramatically collapse over – that Peon had been involved in the assassination of Duke Ostein. Especially in front of a woman who was practically going to die anyway.
“Are you curious now?”
“Of course I’m curious!”
“It wasn’t obvious for you.”
His tone was soft, but he hit the core point. Now it was useless to know, so she wasn’t curious, and for a woman who was just going to die, being curious wasn’t natural. There was no point in arguing or getting angry.
Ah, Kaela slightly dropped her shoulders and hugged her knees. His hand drying her hair was so soft that her scalp didn’t feel pulled, and no hair was pulled out.
“Now I’m curious.”
She wiggled her toes and gave the answer Peon desperately wanted to hear.
“I think I should know.”
As soon as she answered, soft lips briefly landed on her wet hair.
“For the Emperor, Beatrice was just a tool to control me. Since he started abandoning me, he’ll use the hunting dog one last time and then discard her.”
“Ah.”
I see. That’s why Beatrice was so furious. Kaela quietly received the hair-drying touch.
“Is that all you’re curious about?”
He asked in a tone that suggested he would tell her anything.
“…We couldn’t have survived, could we?”
His hand paused. Even if she hadn’t taken poison, even if she’d survived the tower, or even if Peon had saved her, their lives would have ended that day.
Kaela was already facing death, and Peon, having gone to save Kaela instead of crossing into the evil dragon’s domain, where even the emperor’s army would give up the chase, had cut off his retreat. An unawakened dragon could not have survived.
“…I couldn’t save you.”
Peon expressed it that way. He had kept thinking about it after returning, but there was no way to save Kaela.
Even if she somehow escaped the tower, Kaela would have died. She would have quietly stopped breathing without the strength to even cry out, carrying enormous pain.
“What makes me angry is that I could only create such a situation.”
At that moment, he felt pathetic and despicable for wishing the poison Beatrice brought would have been welcomed. Peon loosened his hand and dried her long platinum hair, muttering.
“I’m sick of having these thoughts. It’s my fault I couldn’t stop that girl who ultimately killed and tormented you to the very end…”
He was too sorry and guilty towards his wife, who was humiliated and killed until the very last moment. The conclusion was a familiar regret and self-loathing.
“I’m an idiot.”
A useless trash who committed a cowardly and vile crime against a weak woman. That was Peon. At times like these, he wanted to disappear in front of Kaela. Could he even dare to touch her?
Kaela, who had been sitting curled up and silently listening, turned to look at him. Peon put down the towel and faced her blue eyes.
“I’m angry at my own incompetence.”
“Your love is not incompetent at all right now.”
Peon let out a small laugh looking at Kaela speaking seriously.
“You’ve returned. Of course that’s how it should be.”
His tone implied that if he hadn’t, he should just die. Now that he’d become strong enough to crush the Crania Empire with one hand, he wasn’t happy at all.
“…Is Her Majesty the Empress okay?”
Kaela changed the subject. She could roughly guess what happened to the Empress, who the Emperor was desperately searching for, without Peon having to explain.
“She’ll be with my father.”
Peon nodded.
“I’ve burned all the magic tools. She’ll be fine.”
“So the magic tools were related after all.”
Kaela muttered, recalling the urgent night when the Empress had barely survived, collapsing in the magic tool room on the first day of her return.
“That’s right.”
The hobby of feeding, washing, dressing, and putting her to bed wasn’t the only comfort for Peon. He was pleased by the slight curiosity and sparkling wisdom in her eyes.
Something was slowly filling her previously empty eyes. Satisfied, he picked up the towel and continued drying her hair. If she caught a cold in this summer after taking poison, she’d suffer more.
“I hope she wakes up.”
“She’ll wake up soon. No, she might have already woken up.”
Peon muttered while estimating the time.
“Because my father is very excellent in that area.”
“What area?”
“Medicine and magic. Knowledge fields that require very long research and must be earned.”
“When she wakes up, will she be healthy?”
At that statement, her husband made an absurd expression, which made Kaela feel embarrassed.
“Why, why?”
“She’ll be healthier than you. This…”
Peon started to speak but then closed his mouth. But Kaela didn’t let it go.
“This, what? Huh? What? What were you going to say?”
Despite barely having the strength to raise her voice, she slowly and persistently asked. Peon didn’t answer.
But a small hand shook his arm. Her blue eyes stared at him demandingly. Ah, he was too weak to that gaze.
“…Habitual poison consumer.”
“I’ve only taken poison two… no, three times?”
That’s unfair! Kaela protested.
“Including ferenco, it’s four times now.”
The deeply hurt voice retorted gruffly. Kaela liked his voice, which had sunk deeply like a low cello.
Some trace of wound, anger, and depression is evidence of deep heart. It was also the minimum expression Peon could make. “I was this hurt because of you.”
The man she thought she could never even make eye contact with or exchange a word was always a fresh shock. It was also a mischievous pleasure to keep confirming this.
“Still, it’s moderate.”
“What is?”
“I thought at least a ‘habitual suicide attempt’ level should come out.”
Kaela said this and then looked down at her seat. Would Peon be more upset? Or sigh? Unable to say anything because he’s the cause?
With no reaction, Kaela glanced up at him.
“…Why are you laughing?”
Peon was unexpectedly slightly smiling.
“I didn’t expect you to say something like that.”
“But it’s true.”
He immediately corrected himself.
“I didn’t expect you to say it so ‘casually’ and ‘like a joke’.”
He who was incredibly angry was now laughing.
“…It is a joke.”
Seems like the anger dissipated. Kaela wiggled her toes. She felt proud.
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