The vast ocean was silent, and even the crying seabirds weren’t flapping their wings.
Even the wind had stopped moving.
The man who had been laughing maniacally alone wiped Kaela’s cheeks, which were dripping with tears.
“Were you scared when you fell in the water? Did you want to live?”
Want to live? Kaela couldn’t understand what Peon was saying with his eyes gleaming with ecstasy.
“You’re angry because you want to live.”
“No, no, I…”
That wasn’t it. Kaela shook her head. It wasn’t that she wanted to live; she just wanted to enjoy things briefly. Her life had always had a short expiration date, and she had to enjoy whatever she could.
“I’m just… naturally like this.”
She was a pathetic person who didn’t know how to enjoy things and only knew how to get angry and cry. She shouldn’t try to live. She should always be ready to rush toward death.
“No, that’s not…”
Kaela tried to shake her head vigorously, but Peon held her face.
“Then why ask for a divorce?”
His face tilted sideways in question. The touch wiping her wet face was too gentle, but the eyes meeting hers weren’t normal. A cold smile remained on his lips from his previous maniacal laughter.
“It’s strange. If you’re going to die anyway, why care about having a husband?”
With Kaela’s usual attitude of just dying being enough, there wasn’t even a need for divorce. Her eyes trembled anxiously as she found herself at a loss for words.
“I knew you would be like this.”
He nodded like an understanding confidant. His eyes said it was okay.
“I knew once I forced you to live, this would happen.”
His eyes, both happy and gloomy, remained fixed on Kaela, refusing to leave.
Kaela instinctively tried to turn her gaze to the sea that was paralyzed under some pressure, but Peon wouldn’t allow it. Once again, his purple eyes flashing with madness filled her vision.
“I knew you would abandon me first.”
Kaela couldn’t understand any of the words Peon was choosing. Abandon? How could she abandon Peon? In this relationship, it was Kaela who would be abandoned, not Peon.
“Because I make you angry. I irritate you, make you resent me, make you want to hit me, right?”
He quietly observed Kaela.
“Ah, not just once, but many times.”
He smiled gently. My wife. Unable to contain himself, he tenderly kissed her exposed fair forehead. He gazed at her longingly with eyes that said she was unbearably lovable. You’re so lovable, yet you’re trying to abandon me?
“Then just hit me, Kaela.”
Unlike that gaze, the force pressing down on their surroundings grew fiercer. Nature submitted without even being able to scream.
“Don’t try to get rid of me with strange excuses about how we’ll end up hating each other.”
Was he hurt? Though it seemed impossible, Kaela strangely felt that way.
Although his eyes were now beyond the range of normalcy as he looked at her, Kaela wasn’t afraid of him. Was it because she was always prepared for death? No, that wasn’t it either. Kaela probed around him with her dulled senses.
“How could I hate you? How could I hate you when I’m not even angry at you saying such nonsense?”
He wasn’t even angry at her drinking poison after leaving what should have been deathbed words that would have been better to die than hear in person. He didn’t dare get angry. He would never be angry at Kaela for anything in his life.
“If you’re going to abandon me, give me a plausible excuse. Like you found someone else you like, or you got tired of me, that kind of excuse. Saying we’ve both had it too hard and should go our separate ways, Kaela.”
Peon laughed mirthlessly.
“That’s too ridiculous. I’ve never had it hard.”
What a ridiculous thing to say. He wondered if it was too harsh for the well-bred Princess, but Kaela was quite immune to rough words. She tried hard to argue back.
“Ti-time will…”
“I won’t get tired of you. Except for you trying to abandon me right now, I’m completely happy and delighted. You saw me laughing, didn’t you?”
She did. He had laughed like a madman.
“It’s not abandonment. Does that make sense? How could I possibly abandon you?”
“If you’re thinking about living, you need to stop with that ‘oppa’ nonsense now, Kaela.”
He spoke very coldly. He had clearly liked being called ‘oppa’. Even someone as indifferent as Kaela couldn’t help but notice how he disliked formal speech and how his expression softened every time she used that familiar old term of address.
“Or try putting some feeling into it when you say it. Should you use it so plainly when we sleep and wake up together? Now that you’re suddenly trying to think about the future, you need to cut ties with the oppa you knew when you were young? Just end it with me being merely an oppa?”
Peon immediately recognized the difference between how she had called him cautiously with excitement before marriage and how she called him dryly now.
“How dare I get tired of you? How? Are you afraid of that? If you’re afraid, instead of abandoning me saying we’ll just be oppa and dongsaeng until death, you should slap me for being presumptuous.”
Their relationship would return to nothing, and to Kaela, Peon would remain just ‘an oppa she knew’ until death. Just a vague first love she once liked. An old connection that parted for each other’s sake. What bullsh*t.
Peon calmly wiped away all the moisture remaining on Kaela’s face. Though he could have removed it with magic, he deliberately got his hands wet to wipe her tears directly.
“It’s good that you’ve started thinking about the future, Kaela.”
His voice, tinged with laughter, fell deeply. Peon’s large hand wrapped around her neck to her chin. With just a little force, her breath would be choked and her neck would snap.
But strangely, Kaela wasn’t scared. There was no force at all in the warm hand holding her neck.
Rather, it felt like he was protecting her. It felt as if he was trying to stop her from trying to strangle herself. While everything else was being pressed down, she wasn’t pressed at all. Was that why?
“There’s no divorce between us.”
Though Peon clearly wanted to speak more harshly, he seemed to be holding back because it was Kaela. He was desperately restraining his language.
“There’s no such thing between us.”
When her moistened, plump lips tried to move, Peon added strongly.
“I clearly said so from Lusenford.”
“…I don’t want to.”
I don’t want to. I don’t want such things. Blue eyes shed tears again. She didn’t want to live holding onto light words that could break at any moment, get hurt again, and be abandoned. It was too scary. She couldn’t handle it again. Before being abandoned, she…
Kaela suddenly realized and drew in a breath. I see. She had tried to abandon him before being abandoned. Peon was right. But she didn’t know any way other than abandoning first or dying first.
“I told you to resent me for life.”
He smiled wryly.
“I told you to resent me because what I did was still getting off easy, and I’ll keep doing it.”
Just how far had Peon anticipated? Kaela finally understood the exact meaning of what he had said then. It wasn’t simply that he wouldn’t let her die even if she wanted to.
“See if I can abandon you or not for the rest of your life.”
“No!”
Kaela cried out, shuddering. That was too cruel. How could she live in fear of abandonment for the rest of her life?
Peon laughed with a distorted face. He firmly held onto the woman who, after he had finally caught her and raised her to the point where she could think about the future even a little, immediately tried to abandon him.
“It will be fun.”
Foolish Kaela. Dull-witted Kaela. Not even realizing who was holding onto whom and begging not to be abandoned. No, pretending not to see even though she knows. Because she’s too scared, too frightened. Which bastard made her so scared? Ah, this bastard did.
He pulled her close and savagely devoured her lips.
Small fists pounded against his veined forearms, but he just moved his tongue roughly. Until she gradually stopped crying from exhaustion, until she had to relax to breathe. Until then, he bit and sucked and licked as he pleased. Delicious.
Should he just stay like this? He wanted to stay just like this, silencing everything and living with only Kaela.
He had long been desperately holding back while feeling ecstasy but feeling like his head would burst. No, his eyes had already gone mad. After a long while, when he finally let go, Kaela swung her hand.
A sharp sound of flesh striking flesh rang out on the silent beach. Peon’s head snapped to the side, and he only moved his eyes.
“Well done.”
I told you to hit me, and you listened well. He just laughed, but Kaela’s face only twisted.
She knew he had let himself be hit even though he could have easily avoided it. He would continue to do this in the future. For life. Since he promised so, of course he would quietly take her hits for life even if she suddenly struck him.
“Why?”
Though he was angry at her talk of abandonment, his coaxing voice was only gentle. Though he had gone mad enough to make even the ocean’s surface stop moving, there was no anger in the hand wiping her face.
“Why are you crying?”
In the end, even that great anger couldn’t overcome his ecstasy.
Peon was purely rejoicing in the fact itself that Kaela was trying to live, trying to look even a little further into life. It was too great a feeling to say it merely came from guilt.
“Cry if you want to.”
Nothing was forbidden. She could hit him more if she wanted to hit, she could shout and make personal attacks if she wanted to be angry. Even then, Peon would hold her tight and rejoice. While suppressing his anger by pressing down nature, he was rejoicing.
“It’s okay.”
Peon held Kaela, who had hit someone for the first time in her life, and patted her back. Hueeung, delayed wailing burst forth from within his embrace.
The tears won’t stop until she pours everything out completely, and even after that, until she continues to hate him.
Ha, hahaha. While stroking her back that shook with crying, Peon stared at empty space with unfocused eyes and laughed silently.
The warm, damp, small body temperature felt in his arms was trembling like a newborn baby bird.
She’s alive. She was alive, and now finally angry and crying her heart out. She will get angry many times and cry many times in the future.
She will pour out so much that she’ll fear there will be no one left around her afterward. He’s so looking forward to that time. Hahahahaha, the earth shrank from his silent laughter.
****
Beatrice never ran out of energy even after dancing all night, drinking, and rolling around with men. Inherited stamina was a great asset. Though she got tired, a day’s rest was enough.
But after getting severely sick with a cold in the Grand Duchess’s bedroom she had brazenly claimed when she went to Lusenford, she got sick again the same way after falling into the river this time.
Getting sick consecutively while unable to rest due to debt and frantically trying to handle everything, she got worse instead of better. And the burns she got when the magical tool temporarily overloaded hadn’t fully healed either!
She irritably wrote a letter while pressing her burning forehead. What a pathetic state this was. Her sluggish body was extremely irritating.
But she had still done her best to raise her family and save herself.
Feeling proud that she was qualitatively different from those pathetic girls who pretend to be weak and throw themselves at men, Beatrice finished signing.
“Send this letter immediately. Some funds should be arranged.”
“Yes.”
The butler who had been running around helping Beatrice handle matters received the letter with relief.
“I’m going to rest now. No, I need to sleep.”
“Yes. I’ve placed medicine beside you.”
“Thank you.”
After Hill House, now she had given up one townhouse and a villa, so the remaining townhouse was chaotically packed with furniture and belongings.
Beatrice walked, feeling her way through the densely packed furniture. Her head hurt and she had a bad cough. Though she had diligently drunk tea, her swollen throat wouldn’t go down.
The Duchess of Monde, who had made a mistake while drunk, became more dejected after Beatrice’s harsh words and sat down in a corner. So she wouldn’t need to worry while resting.
‘If she has any conscience, she should give me money. It’s me of all people.’
Beatrice went to the bedroom while fuming. Her vision was spinning.
‘With all that money, she could give some to me.’
She felt frustrated and angry. Maybe her head was hotter because she was angry. She had tried everywhere for help to somehow keep the Craine townhouse, but nobles weren’t very generous to nobles who started selling real estate.
No, maybe they became more harsh because the Duchess of Monde told shocking stories at the engagement party. The number of invitation cards coming to Beatrice was gradually decreasing. That also made her very angry.
She was also furious about losing the ruby bracelet and necklace, and the yellow topaz ring when she fell in the river. Everything was just infuriating. Beatrice collapsed onto the bed.
‘She’ll give it.’
She’ll give money. She definitely will. Waiting for news that would be her only joy to arrive by the time she recovered, Beatrice closed her eyes.
****
The Grand Duke of Lusenford’s townhouse reflected the Empress’s taste extensively, being elegant and dignified, with a structure good for resting even in the heart of the city.
In other words, it was perfect for the fragile Grand Duchess to rest deeply after crying her heart out with lingering cold symptoms.
“Come to think of it, I didn’t get to dip my feet in the sea.”
Kaela muttered while being carried by Peon, walking. Kaela, who was almost unconscious, didn’t hear Peon’s words.
“We can do it later.”
There were many things to do later. Peon very much liked that fact.
He laid Kaela down in the bedroom where cool wind was blowing, then cast his gaze at the tray of mail well organized by the butler. Recently, Peon had been practically living in the same bedroom as Kaela, so all important mail was brought here.
Among them, one foreign object had mixed in. He levitated the urgently arrived letter in the air, not wanting to even touch it. The seal pressed in wax bore the Monde ducal crest.
The envelope that opened by itself had the letter jump out and unfold. As it unfolded, black curse magic gurgled and reached toward him before being crushed.
Peon carelessly skimmed the letter. As his gaze moved down, the letter spontaneously burst into flames and disappeared. Both smoke and ashes completely flew out the window on the opposite side of the bed.
