When Kaela woke up from her brief doze, she was surprised to find herself in the townhouse rather than the royal palace, and rubbed her cheeks in confusion. She had been tired from all the unusual events since arriving in Craine.
To think she had fallen asleep so deeply that she didn’t even know how she got from the palace to the townhouse. Was she too tired, or did she lose energy from getting needlessly angry? Either way, she felt refreshed.
Instead of the tight-fitting dress, she was now in comfortable flowing clothes, and her body, which had been drenched in sweat from dancing, was now cool and clean – Peon must have done something while she was asleep.
“Did someone bathe me?”
“Yes. I bathed you when we arrived.”
Peon nodded matter-of-factly. Kaela was surprised again that she didn’t even remember being bathed. Was she that tired?
“I changed your clothes too. Are you not angry?”
“I’m tired.”
She had no energy to be angry. She had used up all of today’s energy and could barely hold on.
“Just eat this and rest.”
As always, he personally attended to her meal. There probably wasn’t another husband who would carry his wife to the dining table, break soft white bread for her, and watch over her meal so attentively.
Kaela looked down at her plate. The townhouse cook was truly giving their all for every meal.
Hadn’t he said he wanted her to enjoy her meals?
“What’s wrong, you don’t want to eat? Should we have something else?”
He was clearly trying his best not to react sensitively. Even when Kaela paused with her fork, though his eyes naturally turned toward her, he didn’t speak right away. After waiting for a while, he carefully asked.
“…How long have you known?”
“Known what?”
Kaela poked at the boiled vegetables and steamed fish.
“That I…have difficulty with meals.”
That was the only way she could express it, so she quickly put the vegetables and steamed fish in her mouth and chewed thoroughly. Without deliberately trying, she felt she would still eat mindlessly.
“After the regression, when we met in the Monster’s Garden. Then during the meal with your father at the palace.”
So did Peon regress around that time? No, wait, he noticed even back then?
Kaela forgot to chew and looked up. Instead of telling her to chew and swallow, Peon simply ate his steamed fish.
When she sees someone eating well, she unconsciously follows the flow of the meal with an “ah.” That’s why he always ate meals with her.
“How? Was it obvious? Was I strange?”
Despite trying to hold back from eating more than she wanted due to her compulsion to not eat mindlessly, had it still shown?
“You weren’t strange. You ate very little, like ordinary ladies.”
Like someone obsessively trying to lose weight, she ate worryingly little.
“If I wasn’t strange, then why?”
Peon thought for a moment while cutting more steamed fish.
“Let’s talk about it later. It’s not a good topic to discuss while eating.”
“I have a strong stomach.”
Kaela looked at him clearly as she spoke.
“I melted and drank snow in the tower, and lived with rats. And I eat with Your Highness every day. I have a strong stomach.”
After saying this, she continued eating demonstratively. She was eating well. Instead, the knife fell from Peon’s hand.
There had been times when he had prayed for a day like this to come. While watching Kaela, who wouldn’t wake up after drinking poison, he had prayed that she would wake up and hurl insults and curses at him.
He had wished that she, who sat like a shadow only wishing for death, would hate him and be angry at him. He had wished for her to be so vividly alive. He could drink any poisoned cup she offered. He had thought he would gladly drink it with pleasure.
He was just a cunning and weak being. She had only just begun to show irritation, anger, and harsh words, yet he could barely breathe.
Though he had thought he would never let go of Kaela, having shed most of his human appearance and becoming closer to a dragon, leaving behind conscience and dignity, he had been quite naive.
He needed to pull himself together. This was merely his own sword from the past returning to pierce him. He should get up and leave immediately.
“…I’m sorry.”
Peon wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up, thinking he should have the maids thoroughly check her meals from now on.
“Sit down. Where are you going in the middle of a meal?”
Kaela frowned again in irritation.
“I don’t want to make eating difficult for you anymore.”
“I told you I have a strong stomach. It’s better if you stay, so sit down.”
Should he sit in front of someone who has trouble eating while she talks about having a strong stomach? As Peon hesitated with many concerns, Kaela put down her fork.
“I won’t eat.”
At this threat, worthy of a proud princess who had been raised preciously, Peon held back a sigh and sat down again.
“Eat, okay? I’ll eat too. Let’s just take one bite.”
Then she glared at him again and militantly grabbed her fork, stabbing the food.
It was something to be grateful for that the once powerless Kaela could now show such temper. So he needed to keep his composure. After pushing that small woman so far, he couldn’t lose his mind just from hearing this much.
Peon ate. He forced himself to swallow the consequences of his sins while loathing his ugly self.
“Aren’t you going to tell me?”
Even while swallowing, he felt like laughing. He was happy that Kaela was showing her temper and pressing him like this.
He was pleased that she had gained some strength. He already knew well that he wasn’t in his right mind and had deviated from normal boundaries.
“…I saw your corpse.”
So he knew how she had died.
“That’s why I observed your eating from when we met again. But you weren’t eating as much as I remembered from before.”
“What was my corpse like?”
Kaela asked abruptly. She had clearly noticed the part he deliberately skipped over in his explanation. If she pinpointed it, he would have no escape.
“…You were so terribly thin that I wanted to hold and move you, but I thought it would hurt you.”
“That’s right. Even lying down was too painful.”
Kaela swallowed the hot feeling rising inside her and nodded calmly.
“I’m sorry.”
She didn’t answer and just nibbled away at her food. Watching her quietly, Peon carefully asked.
“You couldn’t eat all this time because of me, right?”
Though there should be plenty, Kaela’s compulsive not-eating was a bit strange. Kaela, who had been staring at him, mumbled.
“I want to eat so much.”
Now that she had first spoken about her past one-sided love in anger, perhaps it didn’t matter what she said? Kaela found herself curious. No, maybe it seemed insignificant now that she had said it.
“I want to eat so much that I’d get sick, so much that I couldn’t digest it and would throw it all up. When I regressed, I had terrible food cravings, but when I saw Your Highness, Beatrice, and His Majesty the Emperor, I came to my senses.”
Peon had nothing to say about being grouped together with the worst of enemies in such terrible company. He knew. To Kaela, he was the same as them. No, he was the worst.
“So, thanks to that, I could control myself. I’m a bit better now.”
Was that something to be thanked for? Peon was dumbfounded and speechless.
Having noticed early on, he had already informed Darinka about Kaela’s eating disorder and constantly consulted with her for prescriptions, but would that be enough? Who could heal wounds carved into the soul?
“…So that’s why you got so sick when dining with Beatrice in Lusenford last time.”
“I thought I had made a mistake. I thought I had eaten mindlessly without realizing it while trying to hold back.”
Kaela mumbled and put down her fork. After she finished half the fish, the butler, who was experiencing the mysterious phenomenon of not hearing any of the master couple’s conversation, slowly approached to serve the next dish and withdrew.
“Not at all. You eat too little.”
Well-roasted lamb leg was served. Peon and Darinka had been desperately working with the chef for months to ensure Kaela would encounter various dishes, even in small portions, and maintain regular meals.
“Because you eat too little…”
As his voice trailed off, Kaela completed the sentence he couldn’t bring himself to finish.
“You’re reminded of my corpse?”
Deep wounds remained in those eyes that dared to carry the Emperor’s color. His gaze shattered completely, trembling in fragments.
It was strange how he could barely breathe and suffered so much while the person who had actually died remained calm. Kaela, who had been facing him either blankly or too calmly as usual, tilted her head.
“How strange. I didn’t know I could talk about these things.”
Though she hadn’t drunk any alcohol, her sealed lips opened, and words she had never spoken flowed freely. It was secretly pleasurable to watch Peon suffer intensely at whatever she said.
So this is why people seek revenge and hurt others with cruel words. Kaela de Chasser was quite a terrible person too. Though the conversation was easier than expected, the realization wasn’t very beautiful.
****
Oddly enough, she didn’t get indigestion. Before sleeping, sitting on the bed, Kaela absently stroked her stomach.
While stroking, she wrapped her arms around her lower abdomen, like an old habit. She had lived clutching her stomach for days until her death. Though she had long forgotten this habit now, traces still remained.
“Kaela.”
She removed her hand from her lower abdomen and looked back. Peon, walking into the bedroom, checked the most important thing first.
“Show me your legs.”
He smelled of fresh yet heavy fragrance after bathing. It mixed with the scent of deep forest trees, cold winter, and luxurious well-aged brandy.
Since her husband had been carrying her around since leaving the palace, she wordlessly lifted her nightgown hem. He sighed at her swollen legs and feet that were still red though the pain had subsided.
“They’re as swollen as during the wedding.”
“I don’t think it’s as bad as then…”
Instead of arguing, Peon pressed his thumb firmly on a spot on her calf.
“Ah, that hurts!”
He stared at her as she immediately hunched her shoulders. Not as bad as then? Kaela quickly avoided his gaze.
“How many times did the Crown Prince step on you?”
“Step on what?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know. Your feet.”
At least Peon hadn’t stepped on Kaela’s feet. The Crown Prince must attend more banquets than Peon, so how could he step on a lady’s feet with those heavy feet of his?
“His Highness the Crown Prince was just nervous.”
“Ah, are you taking another man’s side in front of your husband?”
Kaela’s eyes widened at Peon’s incomprehensible words, but when he started massaging her feet, she began to groan. The tearfully refreshing pain she had experienced months ago wrapped around her feet with a tingling sensation again.
“Are you… are you angry?”
This is too painful! Kaela carefully asked while pulling back her feet.
“No.”
After answering calmly, Peon pulled back her retreating feet. He seems angry though!
“I’m not angry. It’s just that that guy danced with you more than I did. No reason to be angry.”
“How many times did we dance?”
“Since we had two weddings, it was twice.”
“We only danced once at the first wedding, but we danced a lot at the second wedding. Was it three times?”
That was true. Tradition dictates that the bride must dance with the groom, the bride’s father, and the groom’s father, but because Peon hated seeing the Emperor act as his father and hold Kaela’s hand, he danced quite a bit with Kaela at their second wedding.
But that was Kaela’s way of counting.
“For me, one day counts as once.”
“Then I only danced once with His Highness the Crown Prince too.”
“I’m your husband and he’s another man. Different relationships have different standards.”
“Ah, there’s no such thing…!”
Kaela, who was about to argue, covered her face and groaned like on their wedding night.
“Come here.”
Peon silently pulled her into his arms and gently massaged her legs.
“Ugh… it really hurts.”
“Does it hurt a lot? I’ll do it slowly. I’m being gentle.”
Kaela, who had somehow ended up leaning against him, dropped her head on his shoulder. The sturdy Peon supported her without wavering, and Kaela just buried her face in his shoulder while surrendering her tingling legs to him.
While faithfully playing his role as husband by silently massaging his wife’s legs as she groaned and moaned, he put her down a bit faster than on their wedding night.
“There. Now sleep.”
“Where are you going?”
The man who always insisted on sleeping while holding her despite her attempts to pull away was strangely tucking her into bed today.
“I have some work left. Sleep first. You must be tired.”
Lying down as he laid her, Kaela blinked and watched Peon’s back as he put on his robe and walked out.
“This is just like our wedding night.”
His steps stopped right there.
“Back then too, you put me to sleep first. What did you do alone?”
She caught a glimpse of his handsome face turning toward her in the darkness. She asked calmly, despite already knowing.
Was it a joke? Was she teasing him? Though he couldn’t tell, Peon dared not avoid her question. No, he had no intention of avoiding it.
“I held back my desire for you.”
He sighed.
“I’m holding back now too.”
