Chapter 36 – Unovercome Trauma
Sweet melody. Warm perfume. People dressed elegantly. And… … .
“Your Grace, you look tired these days. Are you tired from work? If there is anything I and my family can help you with, please do not hesitate to contact us anytime… … .”
Edric looked at one side of the banquet hall, listening to Millie’s dancing partner’s whispers with one ear. Mellie had rejected Count Ludens’s request to dance. Edric sighed as he watched the man turn around in embarrassment.
‘I guess you still haven’t gotten over it.’
He remembered Mellie accidentally stepping on his foot at a ball hosted by Duke Claudius a few years ago and getting in trouble. He thought it would be okay since so much time had passed, but it seemed that she still hadn’t gotten over the nightmare of that day.
“My father would rather be honored to be able to help you, Your Majesty. I… too will…”
“Thank you. Miss Lorraine.”
Edric indifferently responded to the blushing woman’s indirect confession and looked back at Mellie.
She sat alone in the corner of the banquet hall, scanning the ballroom like a spectator. Her empty gaze grated on Edric’s nerves.
‘You’re the main character. Not a spectator.’
He gave Mellie a sharp look.
However, Mellie seemed to be unaware of his gaze as she looked elsewhere.
Edric changed direction with Miss Lorraine and looked at where Mellie’s gaze was directed.
She seemed to be seeing Count Ludens, whom she had rejected, dancing with another woman.
A man who had entered a low-level public office despite being the second son of a prestigious family and was building trust with his sincere attitude.
His appearance, which was almost old-fashioned and careful, resembled Mellie’s.
‘So now, are you watching because you regret what you missed, or what?’
You should dance with someone else instead. Edric couldn’t stand the sight of her repeatedly refusing dance requests.
Edric let go of the woman’s hand he was holding
“I’m sorry, Miss Lorraine. I need to see my wife for a moment.”
“Oh… … Yes. No… … It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry… … .”
Miss Lorraine smiled awkwardly and bowed her head.
Edric walked across the center of the wide ballroom where the hems of the women’s skirts spread out like flower petals and moved towards Mellie.
It was natural for him to not to speak nicely.
“Please, please, can you stop being so stubborn?”
He saw himself reflected in Mellie’s clear eyes. He looked very angry.
***
‘He is angry. Mainly because I keep rejecting their dance requests.’
Mellie bowed her head.
“I’m sorry.”
“Follow me.”
He left only a cold instruction in response to Mellie’s apology, then turned around and strode out.
Mellie slowly got up and followed him out of the banquet hall.
No one paid attention to them, as the waltz melody reached its climax.
Edric was on the terrace.
His back, facing the moonlight, felt like an insurmountable barrier.
As Mellie approached, he said,
“You’re the hostess of the ducal palace.”
“… … .”
“Not an invited guest, but the host. And that’s the grand family event that happens once a year.”
“I know.”
Mellie dropped her gaze and continued.
“That’s why I did it. I didn’t want to ruin the family’s important event.”
The sound of Count Claudius’s “It hurts like hell!” still lingered in her ears. Every moment she attended the banquet.
“I’ll dance next time.”
If only she could, she would say that. But Mellie knew herself well.
When she was nervous, she would exert herself and make more mistakes.
Next time, if there is any second or third time mistake with Count Claudius, then Edric would have to fix her mistakes again.
“I’ll do everything else but dance.”
Mellie said with sparkling eyes.
“You saw today too, right? I explained the theme and landscaping of the banquet to everyone without making any mistakes. Everyone understood without a hitch. So… … .”
“Okay.”
Edric said, cutting off Mellie.
“Keep doing that.”
Mellie looked puzzled at the sudden acceptance. But it wasn’t an acceptance anymore.
“Instead, you won’t be coming to the banquet anymore.”
It was an expulsion.
“Then it’s simple. You don’t have to dance when you don’t want to, and I don’t have to worry about this kind of thing.”
“That… … That is… … .”
“Melissa.”
Melissa. That cold name cut through Mellie like a blade.
“You’re saying you won’t do the most important part of the banquet. People come here to drink and enjoy themselves, not to listen to explanations.”
“… … .”
If he had gotten angry and urged her to do something, she could have argued.
Melissa’s heart ached because his words were so sensible.
Then.
“Your Grace.”
Wilson had been wandering into the hallway, and he had come over to him.
He cupped his hands and whispered a message into Edric’s ear. Wilson had been acting like that for some time, and it had made Melissa feel even more distant from Edric.
“Tell him that I’ll be right back,”
Edric said. Wilson bowed and left.
“I guess I should go now. I can’t leave this place for too long.”
He continued dryly.
“What are you going to do? Are you going to go back to your quarters and rest, or to the banquet hall?”
“… … .”
“If you don’t come back in five minutes, I’ll assume you’ve returned to your quarters. And you’ll be there every time there’s a banquet.”
His attitude was consistent. He was consistently saying that you were free to choose either way, but that the price you pay for it was yours.
“You… … .”
Mellie called out to Edric, who had just turned around.
Edric looked over his shoulder at her. His white skin polished by the moonlight and his straight nose gave him a sharp look. That’s why Mellie couldn’t easily say what she wanted to say.
When she hesitated, Edric turned around again.
Mellie watched his back as he walked away, thinking about what she hadn’t said yet.
‘If you were going to be like this, why did you even marry me?’
***
Mellie returned to the banquet hall. It was because she thought that if she returned to her quarters, she wouldn’t be able to turn back her relationship with him.
A faint smile appeared at the corner of Edric’s mouth as he noticed her among the people.
‘I knew you’d come.’
As if he was saying that.
He was dealing with Lady Clurissa, a member of the royal family who had returned to her homeland after marrying a foreign noble. When Mellie approached, he introduced her to the lady.
“This is my wife, Melissa.”
Mellie was impeccable and polite. So as not to be offended by the name Melissa Felton at all.
“You are as elegant as I’ve heard.”
The old lady praised Mellie in a noble voice.
However, Mellie wanted to leave this place quickly. Lady Clurissa’s gaze, which had been scanning her, suddenly stopped at one place.
“What a pity.”
The lady shook her head as she looked at Mellie’s stomach.
“You should have a child soon, so that you can forget the pain of the miscarriage.”
“… … .”
Miscarriage.
The stinging aftertaste, like a thorn in a shoe, continued to prick Mellie. Because of that, she was unable to say anything, so Edric answered in her stead.
“Melissa is young, so she will have it soon. Thank you for your concern, Lady Clurissa.”
Mellie suddenly came to her senses.
‘I’ll do anything but dance.’
She had promised. So now she had to keep her promise.
“Thank you, Madam. I hope the child will come soon, as you said.”
She answered her concern in a somewhat submissive manner.
Edric’s eyes moved from Madam Clurissa to her.
Mellie didn’t know whether his eyes were warm or cold. She had to use all her strength to suppress her emotions.
***
It was one morning a few days later.
“What day is it today?”
Edric asked Mellie, as she asked him to come home early, while stroking his shirt collar in an indifferent tone.
“Today… is our wedding day.”
“Oh, I see.”
“… … .”
“I will come as early as possible.”
Just as she was about to feel sad, his words made Mellie feel better.
“Thank you.”
Mellie said sincerely.
It was because she was worried that he might not keep the date of their union due to their estranged relationship.
Mellie did not want to miss her fertile period. Her desire to get pregnant had become even more intense after her previous encounter with Madame Clurissa.
Edric, who had adjusted his appearance, walked over to the cufflink display this time.
While he was scanning the buttons with his eyes, Mellie also scanned them from the side.
Then, suddenly with courage, she said,
“Can I choose for you today?”
Edric looked up from the glass display case. He seemed a little surprised by the sudden words.
He stared at her for a moment and then answered.
“Next time.”
“… … .”
“Today is an important day.”
“Ah… … Yes, I didn’t know.”
Mellie tried to smile and lowered her gaze.
He took out the amber button and attached it to his sleeve.
Mellie couldn’t help but feel regretful.
She had been choosing it in her heart too.
I wish I had been given the chance.
***
It was early evening.
When she came back from her bath, Oz was standing next to her with a silver hanger and said with an excited face,
“Madam, come and choose quickly.”
The hangers she had brought were filled with silk, see-through, and kraft-de-sin slips and gowns hanging from hangers, swaying with the slightest vibration.
They were all things that beautifully enhanced the excitement of the room.
Mellie gently ran her fingertips over the fabrics.
The soft texture pleasantly stimulated her sense of touch.
“How about this?”
Oz took out a dress with a wide chest.
Mellie smiled vaguely.
“I don’t think it will suit me.”
It might be okay for a woman with a voluptuous body, but Mellie was against clothes that emphasized her chest like that.
Rather, it seemed like even the femininity she had would disappear.
Mellie chose a black see-through slip, but then changed her mind because she thought it was similar to the one she had worn at the time she was married, and chose a short white silk nightgown.
She thought it would be good to not to highlight her small chest and slender thighs.
Mellie wore the slip and a gown of the same material over it, then stood in front of the dressing table and let Oz do her hair.
“Smile a little. You look pretty when you smile, madam.”
At Oz’s words, Mellie realized that she wasn’t smiling.
Mellie raised the corners of her lips. It was an awkward smile for some reason.
Then, suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and Anna’s voice came from beyond.
“It’s time to take your medicine, ma’am.”
“Come in.”
Anna placed a porcelain cup filled with dark brown liquid in front of Mellie with a restrained gesture.
The amount seemed unusually large today.
“You need to increase the dosage before the union.”
“Oh, right.”
That was the only way to safely conceive the seed.
Mellie closed her eyes tightly and swallowed it. She wanted to swallow it before she could taste the bitterness.
However, she swallowed it too quickly, and it ended up flowing back up into her nasal cavity.
“Cough… …”
Mellie’s pure white pajamas were a mess as she coughed it out in fits.
Her throat felt as if it was on fire.
