Chapter 4
“Are you really okay?”
Pesor asked with concern., After sending the two people away, I made an excuse about feeling dizzy and having no strength in my body, and called Pesor.
“I’m fine, that’s why I did something like this.”
I replied vaguely and took out the letter I had prepared from the drawer.
“…There’s no meaning in living in pain anymore, Since I’m going to die anyway, I might as well die a little faster. Please let Dettor and Delia know that I wish for their happiness. I also hope that the child who resembles the two of them will be very beautiful. That’s my last wish on my way out. Don’t blame or punish anyone for this. It’s my daughter’s final wish, Father. Now I’ll finally find peace, so just send me off.”
The content was about a young aristocrat who, already feeling the meaninglessness of life, was betrayed by his only fiancée and friend and, in despair, took his own life.
“If you leave the family, where will you go afterward?”
“I’ll have to see what happens after I die.”
I had to know what would happen after my death.
After disguising my death and safely disappearing, I would search for the insane murderer.
That was my goal.
To achieve that, I needed a legitimate motive that no one would suspect, and fortunately, two bugs provided a perfect pretext.
The murderer had clearly said to me, “Even if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll take it.” It was evident that this pervert found meaning in the act of personally killing me and decorating the end.
‘Now, how will I react?’
However, without even having time to decorate the end, I died on my own. I wondered how that would play out.
Just thinking about it gave me a thrill.
“Miss, sometimes you say things that are hard to understand….”
Pesor raised his head and took out a small vial from his medical bag. The vial contained a shimmering red liquid.
“This is blood from a beast, similar to human blood.”
“Thank you.”
Looking out the window, the weather was just right, with a pleasant atmosphere.
“The weather seems to be on the lady’s side as well. Judging by the heavy clouds, it looks like they might cover the moon.”
“That’s good news.”
In reality, due to multiple regressions, she knew that the weather today would be gloomy, but she chose it anyway.
“Perseor, you should inform others that my body wasn’t feeling well today, and my mental state was unstable.”
“Yes, milady.”
“Again, I must emphasize that the fact I’m alive should not be known to anyone.”
“Yes.”
“If by any chance it becomes known, I won’t hesitate to spread your weaknesses far and wide, so be prepared.”
“Milady and I are already in the same boat.”
Persor replied politely as he took out another small vial from his bag. Inside was a tiny, transparent pill, even smaller than a fingernail.
“What is this? I never asked for something like this.”
“Is there a way to escape even if I get caught in an unavoidable situation later, with a place that looks different from the deceased ‘Lepherentia Nirel’? This is a potion that changes the color of the young lady’s eyes.”
“My eye color changes?”
“Yes. I’m worried it might be risky for the young lady’s fresh start.”
“…Ah. I didn’t even think about that. Thanks, I’ll use it wisely. I really appreciate it.”
“Although the young lady may not engage in social activities much, always carry it just in case.”
“Fortunately, I’ve been walking around without wearing a hat, and there are very few people who know my face.”
I laughed nervously and shook the vial, Amidst the daily thoughts of escaping from the murderer and trying to figure out who the murderer might be, I had forgotten about something important.
First and foremost, it was crucial not to reveal my true identity.
“The potion’s duration is one day. You need to take it at the same time every day, and if you miss it, your eyes will return to their original color. I made it using alchemy and medical technology.”
“Really the best… You’re talented, Phezor.”
“It was an honor to assist the young lady. Please call me whenever you need help.”
“Sure. I’ll remember, Phezor. …Speaking of which, I’ve prepared something for you too.”
With a forced smile, I took out a thick pouch from the third drawer and handed it over.
“I was wondering what to give you, but I thought you’d appreciate money the most.”
Fezol opened the surprised pouch. After checking its contents, he jumped even more in astonishment.
“Receiving this much money…”
“With that money, you could help the poor with medicine. You were upset not too long ago about not having enough money, right? Acts of kindness should be occasional. If you keep using the money you earn to help the poor, you’ll end up with nothing. It’s not a problem that can be solved by just one person jumping in.”
“Oh, Miss…”
“Don’t give me those moved eyes, I paid a price for not revealing the secret. Think of it as hush money. I paid a high price, so make sure to keep the secret.”
Fesol covered his mouth with his palm and deeply tucked the money into his pocket.
It was quite amusing how his chest protruded in the shape of a pocket.
“Now go, Starting tomorrow, the Empire will be in an uproar.”
“I have prepared as you ordered.”
“Good, You’ve worked hard until the end.”
“I wish for your happiness wherever you go.”
“Yeah, There’s no one else like you who, even after being taken advantage of due to your weakness, wishes happiness for others.”
I waved my hand as if I were annoyed, Fesol bowed with eyes full of lingering affection and left the bedroom.
And I spent the whole day pretending to be depressed.
Forcing the maids who said they had to prepare for the wedding from today to leave, crying loudly, and not eating any meals.
When the maids asked what was wrong, I would smile faintly and leave words like ‘you must be happy.’
It was a perfect day.
And late at night.
At the moment when the clouds perfectly obscured the moon, casting a deep darkness, I, feigning sleep with a sense of lethargy, rose from the bed.
As it was the night before the wedding, the atmosphere was chaotic, and there were not many eyes watching over me.
“Time to make a move.”
I took out a vial containing the blood of a beast that I had obtained in advance from Pesol.
Opening the vial, I poured about half of the beast’s blood onto the bed with a decisive splash.
The pungent smell of blood quickly filled the bedroom.
“Perfect.”
Anyone could infer that the owner of the bed was severely afflicted. Having committed the deed, I slipped out of the bedroom, avoiding the eyes of others.
I had experienced ‘today’ several times.
I knew who stood guard and who would pass through which corridor at what time. Avoiding people’s eyes and leaving was nothing at all.
“Now, farewell to this place.”
I glanced towards the direction of my father’s study. On the last day of his only daughter’s wedding, the bright light in my father’s study was still on.
On the last day of the wedding, my father had never come to see me. This life was no different. Even if I were on borrowed time.
“Goodbye.”
After silently bidding my farewell, I turned away. Following my steps, I spilled the red liquid from the vial as if I had left the mansion with an unsteady body.
Heading towards the door connected to the kitchen, I saw a carriage. It was the carriage used to discreetly sell the leftover ingredients after cooking from the mansion.
In the luggage compartment, there was a large jug prepared by Pesol. I closed the lid of the vial, put it in my pocket, and crammed myself into the jug inside the carriage.
“It’s narrow, Should have prepared a slightly larger barrel.”
The head chef was a means of secretly pocketing money behind my father’s back. So, there was no worry that the fact I took this carriage would be revealed.
After a while, a servant appeared cautiously, looking around, and the carriage started moving.
No one thought suspiciously of a carriage moving at the same time every day.
The carriage easily left the mansion, Shortly after leaving the mansion, the carriage came to a stop.
“Now.”
I didn’t miss the opportunity and secretly got off the carriage, running away.
It was a dark night with the moon covered by clouds, so there were unusually few people on the road. I turned into a shortcut I had already scouted, wearing the robe I had prepared inside out.
Since I had walked around myself several times whenever I had time, there were no obstacles. As I headed towards the entrance of the back mountain near the mansion, I saw a horse tied to a tree.
It was the horse Persor had prepared for me. He carefully chose one that was gentle and well-trained.
“Your role is important.”
I approached, petting the horse a couple of times before mounting it. The horse, which I had practiced with many times, smoothly began walking towards the summit of the mountain.
Riding wasn’t difficult, as I had practiced from a young age.
A pitch-black, deep mountain where nothing could be seen a step ahead.
It seemed like I was looking at the path I would walk in the future.
I stopped when I reached the cliff at the summit.
“Good job.”
It was a dizzying height with no end in sight, Just looking down made me feel lightheaded.
I took off one of my shoes and nonchalantly tossed it below the cliff.
Thunk, thunk.
The discarded shoe quickly rolled and disappeared into the deep darkness. If it were ever luckily found, my lifeless body would probably look pitifully fallen, I thought.
I carefully placed the other shoe on the edge of the cliff.
I took out the handkerchief I always carried and wedged it into the crevices of the rocks.
“Today, Reperentia Nirel died.”
In the dim darkness, I let go of everything.
I lightly wrapped my robe around the neck of the horse that had brought me here.
“It won’t take long, so wait here a little, People will come looking for you soon.”
As if understanding my intention, the horse neighed softly. After patting it, I walked back alone along the path I had come.
The next day,
The marriage between the Nirel family, who were prominent figures in the empire, and the Deverti family was canceled.
Simultaneously, a shocking fact struck the empire.
The wedding, supposed to be a joyous occasion for anyone involved.
The news spread that Reperentia Nirel had died.
A handwritten will was discovered, and testimonies followed, confirming that Reperentia, who had been unwell, was struggling.
Moreover, bloodstains presumed to be spilled by her were confirmed throughout the mansion and on the high cliffs. At that location, not only were footprints found but also shoes and a handkerchief.
As it appeared that Reventia had ridden a horse to the summit of the mountain and couldn’t come back down, it is presumed that she met her end by suicide.
Instead of a grand wedding ceremony, the Empire held a solemn funeral for the tragically deceased young lady. Unable to contain his grief for the untimely death before the upcoming wedding, the Emperor permitted a mourning reception at the Nirielle Mansion to express condolences.
And…
“What’s wrong? I told you to contact me anytime if you needed help, Why do you look so dissatisfied?”
“Well, you did say that… but I didn’t expect you to call me so urgently.”
“It’s my memorial reception., I can’t afford to be absent.”
With the help of Pesol, I was attending my memorial reception.
Secretly pleased, Pesol chuckled as he spoke. I attended the reception disguised as his acquaintance and a priest from the temple.
No one suspected the highly admired chief physician. It was evident how much trust Pesol had earned.
“But why take such a risky step…”
“We’ve arrived.”
Pesol halted his words and tightly pressed his lips together. As the carriage came to a stop and the door opened, Pesol descended, firmly donning a black hat.
I wore a thin silk cloth over my ears, revealing only my eyes while holding a basket filled with white lilies. I had taken the potion prepared by Pesol in advance, changing the color of my irises. No one would associate lavender-colored eyes with Reventia.
The guards at the main gate checked Pesol’s face before sparing a glance at me behind him.
“I am a priest who will comfort the way for the young lady’s soul, so that her lingering attachment does not remain throughout the mansion. It is said that if we do not properly dispel her attachment, the young lady’s soul will not leave the mansion.”
“Yes?”
“According to the priest, the young lady’s soul is in a state of deep resentment.”
“…The young lady has become a vengeful spirit?”
I glanced at Fessor, suppressing the laughter that was about to burst out in response to the guard’s question. After a moment, I nodded, pretending to be serious.
“I mentioned it to the master yesterday, It seems that due to the profound grief of losing the young lady, the message didn’t properly get through.”
As Fessor casually continued speaking, the guard looked at me and then whispered among themselves for confirmation. Once that was done, they promptly stepped aside, allowing us to enter.
As we entered and the guard’s gaze disappeared, Fessor’s tense shoulders relaxed.
“This potion really works well, The different eye color makes me feel so at ease.”
“Well, I don’t seem to have any talent for acting.”
“You were quite audacious when turning me into a vengeful spirit.”
I nudged Fessor’s side with my elbow, indicating for him to look ahead.
“When it came to making up lies about Father being deeply grieved after losing me, you were quite skillful.”
“That’s true, Father approved of bringing in a daring priest who claimed to be able to comfort the young lady on her journey, and he allowed you to soothe her lingering regrets.”
“Ridiculous! So, what’s the point of soothing regrets?”
“It’s true that Father is deeply grieved after losing the young lady. He’s neglecting his duties, skipping meals, and such.”
Father? Ridiculous.
“Enough of that, Just act well enough not to get caught. No one here will suspect you.”
“…If you were planning to return to this memorial gathering, why bother disguising yourself and fleeing with a suicide act?”
“Not exactly, I didn’t come as a deceased young lady; I came as a daring priest.”
“I don’t know what’s different, A lady is still a lady.”
“I didn’t know either, What do I care about the future that Her Majesty, who pities me, has allowed a memorial gathering? Even if I knew the past, that wouldn’t change anything.”
I don’t know what happens after I die.I always go back to the same time. So, shouldn’t I know more?
What unfolds after my death, I wonder.
“What if they find out I deceived them as a priest?”
“Is a member of the temple likely to come here? Just handle it roughly if anything.”
Pesol chuckled as if he couldn’t understand me, then closed his mouth, conscious of his surroundings.
We entered the hall where the memorial gathering was held with smooth steps. As soon as we entered, we naturally scattered as if we had made a prior arrangement.
The memorial gathering in honor of me was splendid.
However, instead of joyful laughter, everyone was solemn, and instead of glamorous attire, they wore solemn and low-key clothes.
“A useless gathering.”
Now it was time to find the insane murderer who had killed me countless times.
“Then, shall we see who is resentful of my death?”
I casually scanned the hall.
First, I saw my father, neatly combing his hair and dressed in clean clothes.
“He must be too heartbroken to eat.”
I had hoped to see him in a devastated state, but as expected, he was fine.
My father was perfectly fine even after losing me, I already knew he wasn’t someone who would be saddened by my death.
I turned my head with a smirk, and there she was, Delia. She was wearing a black dress with a pink rose ribbon tied around her waist.
It seemed like looking pretty was more important than mourning, Maybe she wanted to be the most noticeable one here, or perhaps she just wanted to be seen.
“Doesn’t she have anyone to show her around?” I thought. It had been my role to guide and inform, but since I wasn’t doing it, there probably wasn’t anyone else.
Next to Delia was Dettor, holding onto her as if he couldn’t escape from grief.
To someone unfamiliar, it might look like he was longing for his deceased fiancée and crying while holding his closest friend, Delia. However…
“Does she really want to be clinging like that even at my memorial party?”
In my eyes, it just looked like him dirtying Delia’s waist while holding onto it.
In the will, I specifically asked them to spread the news of my congratulations, hoping the two of them would be happy together. But seeing that their story hadn’t spread yet, it seemed that my father was still preoccupied with preparing the memorial party.
Is it reasonable to be busy preparing a party even when I’m dead? My father, who has been busy all his life, is truly exceptional.
“People should know that they betrayed me on the day I’m dying.”
Around them was Prince Belial. He had the saddest face at my memorial party today.
His efforts to suppress overwhelming sorrow were touching. If someone saw us, they might misunderstand and think we were in love.
“At least one person seems to be sad.”
Even Dettor, not to mention my father, didn’t have such a mournful expression.
Belial, the Crown Prince, couldn’t hold back his sadness, wiping his swollen, crimson eyes as he struggled to suppress his tears.
“A banquet to honor the grievances of the deceased.”
Scoffs echoed, No one cared when I was sick.
What’s the point of all this when everyone is dead?
“Pfft.”
Right at that moment, unmistakable laughter sounded beside me.
I laughed or gasped unintentionally, surprised, but my lips remained stiff.
The sound came from beside me.
As if entranced, I turned my head towards the source of the laughter.
“…Ah.”
Dark navy hair immediately captivated my gaze, shining like a jewel under the chandelier’s light, its subtle color enchanting and impossible to look away from.
Below, perfectly shaped eyebrows seemed to rise in amusement at this absurd situation.
Eyes as dark as the abyss, impervious to any glimmer of light. Like that day when I wandered through the deep, moonlight-free mountains.
The man’s lips, filled with an unsavory smile, twitched.
“I don’t wish to speak ill of the deceased, so I hope you don’t look at me with those eyes.”
The man who noticed my gaze approached me, facing me directly and removing bloodstained gloves as he spoke.
“I just laughed at this circus because it was amusing, What’s the use of all this when everyone ends up dead? Do it well while you’re alive. Don’t you think?”
The once white gloves now showed distinct bloodstains. Now that I looked closely, his formal attire also had bloodstains scattered in various places.
“Oh, don’t misunderstand. It’s not human blood, it’s clown makeup. I didn’t have time to change because I came in a hurry.”
He roughly stuffed the removed gloves into his pocket and put on a new pair of black gloves.
The man who echoed my thoughts was smiling, but there seemed to be a strange anger in his expression.
“It’s both regrettable and infuriating that you died like this.”
A stranger angered by my death.
Almost unintentionally, I lowered my gaze and looked at the man’s hands.
Hands so large that they couldn’t be compared to mine.
Could those hands be the ones that… touched my head that day?
“Excuse me for a moment.”
As I was examining if those crazy hands matched, the large man’s hand suddenly approached me.
“…!”
My startled body instinctively stepped back, It was the instinct to avoid death.
For some reason, I thought that the man would pat my head like that murderer.
But the man’s hand didn’t come towards my head.
“Can I take a flower? I didn’t prepare flowers to offer to the deceased.”
The man’s hand was directed not at me but at the flower basket I was holding, Nodding in agreement, I watched as he casually took a lily from the basket and walked past me.
“He left behind a refreshing citrus scent in the air in the place he passed through.’’
At the same time, a sparkling brooch adorned the man’s chest.
‘…That’s…’
I swallowed dry saliva and stared at his broad back. As his footsteps receded, a heavy footstep echoed in my ears.
A sharp and clear sound, like a piercing needle entering my eardrums.
The day of the carriage accident flashed before my eyes like a mirage as I lowered my gaze with the footsteps fading away.
Is this imagination, or…
‘…House of Violentus.’
Laches Violentus.
That man, who continuously refrained from leaving the northern region and never revealed his appearance even in gatherings, had attended my memorial service.
‘’For the same trivial reason of mourning my death.”
