Chapter 2
“Lea, I’ve met someone.”
I glanced at Delia across from me with an indifferent expression, chin in hand.
I had experienced the same situation so many times that it didn’t elicit any particular feelings.
“Congratulations.”
As I replied slowly, stirring the tea with a teaspoon, Delia leaned forward.
“Aren’t you going to ask who it is?”
Her eyes sparkled as if pleading for me to ask. I didn’t know at first, but after repeating it several times, it became apparent that she wanted me to find out.
‘Even if I ask, she won’t tell me.’
After all, she already knows who it is. I picked up a fig-filled cookie and sighed before asking, “Who is it?”
“Well… Lea, it’s someone you know! But I can’t tell you who it is! It’s a secret. Hehe!”
“To be honest, I’m not curious.”
“When I opened my eyes again after death, I thought that God was on my side.’’
The Renator Empire was a place where those who received the call of the primordial god purified the land filled with evil and guarded against the excesses of evil by appointing four guardians.
And my family was one that inherited the lineage of one of those four guardians.
So, God considered me, a member of the guardian bloodline, pitiful and granted me another chance. I prayed with hands clasped in gratitude.
I thought I had been sent back to six months before my wedding to make the right choices and be happy this time.
Determined not to be fooled again, I sought revenge against Dettor and Delia.
‘Finally! Hahaha! Finally! I’ve completed my revenge! Ha, hahaha! Now, I can die without regrets!’
When I felt that my miserable life had finally become perfect after bringing down the two families and achieving revenge, I was assassinated by an intruder in my bedroom and returned once again.
Looking back, I realized that I had only considered things in my favor. Because Dettor and Delia, who betrayed me, also belonged to families that inherited the bloodline of the guardians.
So, it meant that God wouldn’t grant special favors only to me.
‘’The nobility was born by inheriting the bloodline of those chosen by the call of God, and the families inheriting the bloodline of the four guardians became the empire’s guardian families.”
“My family, the Niryel Marquisate, the Debeirty Marquisate led by Lord Détorga, the Pallow family with Delia’s brother as the head, and the Violeantus Duchy, acknowledged for guarding the north from magical threats and granted the title of Duke.’’
‘I wonder how I died last time…’
I’ve been resurrected several times, and I’ve died just as many times, I’ve lost count at this point.
My journey always began with the pride of Delia and always ended in death.
“Oh, by the way, are you curious about who I’ll be meeting? If you ask a bit more, I’ll tell you!”
“If you’re meeting someone, they must be a good person. Good luck with that.”
I tilted the teacup and took a sip. Choosing different teas in the same situation was the only thing that changed.
“Yeah, they’re good people, Then… I’ll introduce you next time, Lea.”
A life repeated countless times.
I’ve ruined the two people, forced them to kneel and apologize in front of me. I’ve tried exposing all the wrongdoings they’ve committed and even placed them on the executioner’s block. Yet, at times, I’ve chosen to forgive them, hoping to untangle the mess they created.”
“I wanted to end this tiresome cycle, so there were times when I played the role of a good friend, supporting the love between the two. I even fought with Delia and won over Dettor’s love.’’
There were times when, upon opening my eyes, I turned Delia away from the mansion and ran away to a distant place without any plan.
However, hell repeated itself. My end was always the same.
Even if I avoided the cause of my death in the previous life, I ended up dying for different reasons, over and over again.
‘Enough now, I want to stop seeking revenge.’
I even desperately read the memories of those working for the Nirielle family, hoping to find a solution.
But inevitably, within the trapped time that kept returning to the past, there was no one with the answers I sought.
“Leah, you’re acting strange today, You’re not listening to me well… Hmmm.”
“I’m just tired. Maybe my body isn’t feeling well. Let’s stop here for today, I’ll listen properly next time.”
This life, neither living nor dead, how long will it continue?
What is it that I want?
‘’I’m tired.”
This regression felt the same.
I had avoided all causes of death, but a different death awaited me.
Delia and Detor had a safe wedding, and I found myself languishing in the mansion without even attending as a guest.
And when I decided to take a carriage ride for some fresh air after a long time, I met with a carriage accident.
As if I was meant to die at this exact moment.
“Sigh….”
When I finally regained my senses, the carriage that had been climbing the mountain road was overturned and shattered below. It was painful, as if a broken piece of wood had pierced some part of my body.
Lying on the ground, I blankly stared at the broken carriage while being showered by heavy raindrops.
“Ah… again like this….”
Certainly, I was going to die again, I could vaguely sense the approaching death now.
“I don’t want to die….”
No, I don’t want to go back again. I don’t want to repeat it.
I’d rather just…
I struggled to move my limp body, but even lifting a finger was difficult.
Tears flowed down involuntarily. My eyes, now devoid of light, gradually became dim.
Thud.
It was then, The sound of someone’s footsteps echoed. And then…
“…You’re not dead yet.”
A low voice came from behind where I had fallen.
Heavy footsteps and a sharp voice that penetrated my fading consciousness.
Who is it? Please, just let me live.
“Haa, haa.”
My breathing became rapid, Maybe this time, I won’t die. Maybe I can survive.
The sense of someone approaching right behind me meant that someone who could help me was nearby.
However, the person who approached didn’t come to my rescue. They didn’t react with surprise or sympathy at my fallen state.
They just stood there, silently observing me.
At that perplexing moment, filled with strange reactions.
“Reperentia.”
The man behind me quietly murmured my name.
“I didn’t intend to see you like this, and especially not in pain. But I wanted to witness your beautiful distortion with my own hands.”
Like a faint white breath through the raindrops, the man’s low laughter insinuated itself without a defined form.
“But I had no choice either. I tried to make it easy for you, prepared Dokdo, sneaked into your bedroom secretly, even practiced hitting my head hard, thinking it would go painlessly. But you made everything useless.”
“…”
“So why avoid death? You should have gone when I was ready to send you off gracefully.”
Faintly, my fading consciousness suddenly sharpened.
What did he just say?
I was struck by shock, as if hit by a bolt of lightning.
“But I was curious all along. How did you escape everything I had prepared? As if you knew everything.”
It was clear, This person was casually talking about the reasons I had died multiple times.
As if it were something he had orchestrated.
“Look at this, I didn’t like messy carriage accidents, but… Oh well.”
The man clicked his tongue.
This voice, have I heard it before? Or is it the first time?
“I want to possess your last moments. The beautiful moment of you dying completely.”
The large hand that caressed my head felt so tender that it sent shivers down my spine.
On the day I was dying, with hands that did not tremble and a calm voice, he said, “I’ve been watching you for a long time, Reperentia.”
So this insane murderer inexplicably claimed that every death I had experienced was his doing.
“Do you know why I love you? When will you realize it?”
Who are you? Who on earth are you to treat me like this?
I wanted to ask. I wanted to see your face somehow and confirm it, and then ask why you killed me like that.
But the voice was muffled and crumpled under the thickening raindrops.
Due to the injuries, my body couldn’t move, and my body temperature dropped rapidly, making my eyes gradually close.
My mind became blurry, and my strength was gradually fading away.
‘No…’
I can’t let it end like this. Somehow, anyhow…
My eyelids closed heavily.
“Goodbye, Reperentia.”
I will find you and seek revenge.
With his gentle farewell, I lost consciousness.
“…Ha!”
I gasped for breath and opened my eyes again.
The same morning, The same ceiling, The same clothes.
“I’m back again.”
I came back to life. I secretly hoped that maybe it would be the end if I died this time, but I had to open my eyes again.
I wiped my dry face several times with trembling hands.
It’s not a dream. What I just experienced was not a fantasy, imagination, or a dream. It was all real.
The corner of my mouth touched by my fumbling fingertips formed a graceful curve pointing upwards.
“Ha, hahaha!”
Laughter burst out. I buried my face in my hands to suppress the overflowing joy and laughed awkwardly.
“I, I didn’t die by accident.”
Murder, assassination, and even various accidental incidents attributed to bad luck.
It wasn’t that I kept dying and resetting due to bad luck, but someone persistently murdered me. Despite numerous failures, they never gave up and always tried different methods!
“So, whether I forgive or seek revenge on Détour and Delia, they kept dying repeatedly.”
In the midst of the repeating time, encountering the first instance that didn’t repeat was exhilarating.
I hastily got up from the bed and retrieved the diary from the drawer.
And before I could forget, I wrote down everything the person who killed me had said.
“Why don’t you realize that I love you? When will you ever understand?”
As I pondered over the last words, the heightened emotions gradually subsided. I pressed the pen firmly while reading the final sentence.
“You crazy bastard.”
I closed the diary simultaneously with the curse.
Am I just going to keep being a victim to you?
“Ha, hahaha!”
Even though I tried to hold it in, laughter kept escaping. Perhaps it was inevitable. After all, I had found a clue to escape from the endless flow of time.
“I’ve got a good idea.”
I thought of a way to avoid going through this horrific time again.
!
Once again, to die at the hands of a murderer…
“Let’s die.”
I decided to end it myself.
Before the crazed killer could find a new way to kill me.
“I will decide everything, from the place and time to the method of my death.”
And I called for a maid to bring a doctor.
“Miss, are you alright?”
Looking at me lying limp as if about to die, Persor, the chief physician of the Nirielle family, carefully examined me.
Perhaps because I had experienced so many deaths, it was easy to act as if I were about to die.
“Persor.”
I unhesitatingly grabbed his hand as he took off his gloves and examined me.
Memories flooded through Persor’s mind like a whirlwind, swiftly passing through.
“Miss.”
Suddenly, Pereor withdrew his hand, startled by my inexplicable actions. I felt a sense of distance as he cautiously retreated, as if afraid I might do something strange.
“Ahem, there doesn’t seem to be anything particularly wrong with your physical condition. The recent drastic weather changes may have left you feeling weak, so I recommend herbal remedies…”
Pereor looked at me strangely and hesitated, taking a hesitant step backward. It was as if he feared I might devour him.
I looked at Pereor with an indifferent gaze and raised my chin.
“Pereor, come closer and sit down. Don’t look at me with those fearful eyes.”
“I was just here to prescribe medicine, so I’ll leave now… And I don’t have such a hobby, so I apologize…”
“If it were to be revealed that you sold potent painkillers to nobles for a profit, it could be troublesome. Is it okay for you to leave like this?”
Thud.
Pereor dropped the medical bag he was holding and stared at me with wide eyes.
“Wh-where, where did such, such a wicked rumor spread?”
Attempting to escape, Pereor plopped down on a chair, his buttocks landing with a soft thud.
“If this fact becomes known to others, you might have to give up being a doctor. My father dislikes any disturbances within the family. Other families won’t hire someone with a tainted reputation like yours.”
“Oh, miss! Miss!”
Whether he realized that resisting was futile or not, Pereor, with a face drained of color, trembled as he raised his hands.
“I did it for the money, for the money I needed… I only did it twice, not more. It was to obtain funds to treat those who were suffering in impoverished areas.”
“How many people would recognize illegal deeds as acts of charity?”
Persol’s pupils rolled in all directions, contemplating solutions to the situation.
“It’s murky. I haven’t brought this issue to light yet, Persol.”
Persol’s eyes, which had been scanning the surroundings, focused on me. It seemed that he was considering how to address this dilemma.
“It’s not easy, I haven’t revealed this problem to anyone yet, Persol.”
Persol’s eyes, which had been roaming around, locked onto me. As someone with intelligence, it seemed he understood my words at once.
I meant that I had something specific I wanted from him.
“And, of course, I…”
I gave Persol enough time to be intimidated, then slowly opened my mouth again.
“I don’t dislike your actions. Your intentions were pure, and the outcomes were favorable. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes?”
Thinking I would surely report him, Persol, who had anticipated that, tried to grasp the situation when I unexpectedly defended him.
“No need to overthink it, Persol.”
“….”
“So, just like you helped them, I’d appreciate it if you could help me this time.”
Fesol, unable to follow the abrupt change in atmosphere, looked bewildered and stammered.
“I’m planning to leave this family soon.”
“Uh… and how does that concern me?”
“It does, A lot. I’m not just running away; I plan to completely disappear from this family and the entire empire.”
Fesol still had a face of incomprehension. I smiled warmly at his innocence and good intentions.
“If I disappear entirely from this family after I’m gone, who would come looking for me?”
“…What?”
“Fesol, let me tell you what you need to do.”
“Miss.”
“After leaving this room, when you see people, tell them, ‘Miss Nirielle has a life expectancy of less than six months from now!'”
Fesol, who had been sitting, jumped up in surprise. The chair rolled unceremoniously from the recoil. Whether he now understood my intentions or not, Fesol’s eyes shook like a ship encountering a storm.
“That, that’s illegal…”
“An illegal act done for a good cause, haven’t you already done that before? If you think of it as the same thing, it shouldn’t be too difficult.”
“If this is the first step to break free from my regression, it will take me far and save my life.’’
That’s truly a genuine prelude.
“If another doctor confirms it, I’ll be caught lying.”
“Haha, That won’t happen, No one cares about me. No one will call a new doctor for me.”
“But if the Count or, perhaps, the young lady’s fiancé, or a friend, becomes concerned and calls a doctor…”
“I assure you, Fesol, you won’t be in danger.”
No one will call a doctor for me, for sure.
I’ve learned many things through numerous deaths, and they won’t change.
“Why would you take such a dangerous risk…”
“If I stay here, I’ll die.”
“Who would dare to say that the young lady is being killed…”
Fesol muttered questions and covered his face with his hands, He knows he can’t refuse my threat.
‘I also do it to find out, To live.’
”I just smiled bitterly.”
“Fesol, What you should be thinking about is not my safety. Whether you will continue to help me in my medical practice or if you will give up on being a doctor altogether… Those are the only two choices I’ve given you.”
Originally, there was no way Pesol would have any choice in the matter.
And on that day.
The fact that I was a terminally ill patient became widely known in the Empire.
It was a variation of death that I experienced for the first time after several regressions.
