“Celly, are you asleep?”
Karl approached me as I lay in bed, worrying or waiting for him to come out.
I had no words in response to his question, so I tightly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I soon felt his weight as he climbed onto the bed.
As Karl came closer, the mattress sank beneath him, and I clutched the blanket tightly, trying not to acknowledge his presence.
“Celly…”
His warm hand gripped my shoulder as I turned away. Even though it didn’t seem like he was applying much pressure, my body helplessly followed his lead.
When I lay flat, I realized Karl had already positioned himself above me.
Pinned beneath him, I couldn’t move or speak, my eyes just roving around as he leaned down towards me.
His breath, growing closer, caught me off guard. I hadn’t thought of escaping; his warmth touched me as I held onto the blanket.
I couldn’t breathe. My whole body was tense, as if I were about to burst. It felt reminiscent of our first kiss, shared in drunken haze.
But something was different this time. It was a touch more cautious, and a bit more intense…
I slowly released my grip on the blanket. I felt excited, trembling, and fearful, gasping for air.
Crinkle.
In that moment, my eyes jerked open. Huh? When I opened my eyes, the Karl who had been kissing me so fervently was nowhere to be found.
What just happened? As I lay there trying to gather my thoughts, I heard another soft crinkle, like pages turning.
Could it have been a dream? I blinked in the dark. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I felt a sudden tightness.
While lost in pointless thoughts, I must have pulled the blanket over my head and fallen asleep. No wonder I could hardly breathe.
I grabbed the blanket and pulled it down. Only then did my sight clear. A dim light illuminated the left side of the dark room.
It felt like Karl was at the center of that tiny glow.
As I pondered how to face him when he got out of the shower, I realized I must have woken after a while when the sound of water stopped.
Maybe the rhythmic sound of the water acted as white noise. I had slipped into sleep without realizing it, even dreaming, then startled awake.
After all, I had just traveled through a dream where I met Karl again.
At this moment, with vivid memories of Karl, drunk and pressed against my lips while lying on the floor, it was embarrassing to have such a dream. My cheeks were burning.
“Are you awake?”
As I rustled and sat up, a familiar voice came from behind me. Indeed, it was Karl.
“When did you come out?”
“It’s been a while.”
“I see.”
Only the sound of paper rustling filled the quiet bedroom. Feeling awkward, I absentmindedly tapped my fingertips against each other.
As I scrambled to find something to say, Karl remained focused on the documents, not lifting his head.
It must be an important document.
“Um… aren’t you tired?”
“I’m fine.”
Was I the only one feeling the intimacy of the situation? Karl seemed indifferent, treating it as just another ordinary occurrence.
We were left alone in this very private space, and after just having showered, it was strange how calm and unresponsive he was.
I was the only one feeling confused and embarrassed.
My pride was a bit bruised. No, it was more complex than simply saying my pride was hurt. It included a hint of disappointment and…
“Feel free to lie back down if you want.”
But I wasn’t waiting for anything.
Could my merely sitting on the bed have bothered him while he was focused? Karl continued to keep his eyes on the paper and urged me again to lie back down and sleep.
Seeing his attitude made me feel slightly embarrassed for actually feeling disappointed.
What was I disappointed about? Did I expect to do something with Karl at this late hour in the bedroom? My face flushed. This was all because of the dream.
“How can I lie down and sleep when you’re working?”
It’s unreasonable to comfortably fall asleep when someone is working in front of you. After my murmured complaint, Karl finally looked up from his paperwork.
“I really don’t mind.”
Our eyes met. I couldn’t look directly at Karl and turned away.
Looking at his face, I often found myself remembering the times we had kissed.
Moreover, he seemed so busy with work that he didn’t care about our past moments at all.
“Are you perhaps waiting for us to lie down together?”
“What?”
How could he ask such a question with such a nonchalant expression? Just a single casual remark from Karl made my face instantly heat up.
Fortunately, the room was dim. If it had been a bit brighter, he might have burst out laughing at my flushed face.
“What are you talking about, Your Highness? L-lie down together?”
“Why not? We’re married now, so it’s only natural.”
He spoke as if it was absurd for me to be surprised. Karl completely set his papers aside.
With a soft thud, the papers fell onto the table, and at the same moment, my heart dropped too.
“Well, if that’s the case, you should’ve said it sooner. I didn’t intend to become a heartless husband leaving his wife alone to spend the night.”
Karl stood up. My gaze followed his movements anxiously.
Why did it feel like he was moving slowly while the distance between us closed so quickly?
I shifted back in my seat.
As Karl took a step closer, I moved my hips back twice. Before I knew it, my back was pressed against the wall.
***
Although he pretended to be indifferent, Karl was quite worried that tonight, which was supposed to be a “meaningful, joyful, and passionate night,” would not turn out well.
Now that they had become a couple, Clovis subtly pressured him to fulfill responsibilities that he, in fact, mostly agreed with.
How much education had he received throughout his life as a member of the royal family?
He had often heard about the importance of establishing a stable family and producing many heirs to strengthen the royal line.
Though he couldn’t recall the specific memories, he had vowed to take responsibility for the precious life that arose from his past. Having unintentionally formed a “harmonious family,” he felt the need to fulfill his duties now.
Marriage was merely a means to produce heirs and establish a solid lineage. For royalty, that was the essence of marriage.
While there were occasionally nobles who married chasing after the triviality of love, most, especially those of higher status, set aside emotions to weigh the pros and cons when choosing a life partner.
It was more about the union of families than the bond between individuals. That was the extent of the institution of marriage.
For Archduke Albrecht, marriage held just that meaning.
Of course, during his transition from boyhood to youth, he had developed an interest in the opposite sex.
Yet, the reason he treated women like stone was largely due to his grandfather, the late Emperor Alexander.
He had witnessed the tragic ends of those who were swayed by instinct and emotion, forgetting their duties.
Moreover, he had seen how, the higher one’s status, the more painful it could be for those around them when caught up in emotions. Karl had witnessed this firsthand.
Among the many victims of emotional folly was his father.
Thinking of his grandfather, who, without any hint of regret, continued to coddle his mistress while pushing his son towards danger, ignited Karl’s anger.
Thus, he consciously distanced himself from all women.
He could have arranged a formal marriage with a suitable family but did not want to pose any threat to Maximilian’s precarious throne and wished to avoid any backing.
After his coming-of-age ceremony, he had remained single until now for these reasons.
However, instinct does not always align with reason.
Karl worried that his conscious ascetic lifestyle might ironically provoke his instincts, perhaps leading to the unconscious creation of a child named Valerie.
If that lovely child were born simply from such circumstances, it would be too sad, so he hurriedly accepted the child as his own in a gesture of atonement.
The reason he was glad about marrying Celeste was simply that—feelings of guilt, atonement, and responsibility.
“Celeste?”
There was no answer from Celeste, who lay in bed.
Had she fallen asleep while he was washing up? He cautiously called her again, but she remained still.
She must be asleep. Karl chuckled softly to himself.
Even if they weren’t in a romantic relationship, could a night spent together really feel that free of tension? A slight feeling of regret washed over him for no particular reason.
After shaking off some of the water from his hair, Karl fell into thought.
It seemed like there’d be enough space for three, but nevertheless, there was only one bed.
Lying down next to her to sleep felt too shameless, yet going outside didn’t seem appropriate for a married couple.
As he pondered what to do, Celeste began to mumble and talk in her sleep.
