Is she asking me to hold her hand? I couldn’t understand the meaning behind her outstretched hand. What reason could she have to ask for a handshake? Would she not hate me for taking over her body? I know I would feel resentment in her position.
Such complicated thoughts tangled in my mind. I could neither grasp her hand nor ignore her, alternating my gaze between Celeste’s face and her hand.
“I didn’t intentionally take your body. It wasn’t my choice, I just…”
An uncomfortable feeling arose within me, leading me to speak without her asking. I didn’t even know how I came to be in her body, but I’ve always felt sorry for her.
“Where are you now?”
I wondered what would happen if Celeste’s original soul ever returned. I thought about how her soul could just as easily come back, just like mine suddenly took over her body.
So, my days were truly built on fear, hidden beneath the surface.
I promised Karl and lived blissfully with Valerie, but that happiness felt like a sandcastle built on the shaky ground of anxiety.
Celeste still didn’t answer. Doubts crept in about whether this person was truly Celeste, and just as those thoughts arose, she extended her hand further.
“Shall we… hold hands?”
There was no reply. Yet, I sensed a positive intention from the way she blinked. Hesitatingly, I reached out and gently took her hand.
Holding hands didn’t magically return her soul to its rightful place. I felt an unexpected relief inside me.
How contradictory it was to feel sorry for occupying her body, and yet relieved that nothing happened. A faint laugh escaped my lips at my own conflicted feelings.
“Thank you.”
Celeste, who had been quietly gazing at me like a doll, gave me an unbelievable response.
“Thank you?”
Celeste nodded slowly. I hadn’t misheard her expression of gratitude.
“What on earth for…?”
I was confused. What reason could she have to thank me? I had taken her body and stolen her life; I expected her to pour resentment at me.
“I have already been killed.”
Killed? Who murdered her? Who was it?
“It wasn’t just an accidental incident.”
Accident. Come to think of it, before I entered her body, I recalled people saying that Celeste had been lying down for a long time after a carriage accident. Is that what they’re referring to?
“At that time, my time had already ended.”
Franz’s face flashed through my mind. His face, filled with arrogance, holding Celeste’s lifeline, as if he could extinguish the light of her life at any moment if he felt like it.
“Thanks to you, I was able to put everything back in its place.”
A very faint smile appeared on her ice-cold face.
“My honor too.”
Celeste, in the original work, committed an unforgivable act out of jealousy toward the original Laila and suffered the penalty for it.
The death in the novel was different from the reality, but if Celeste had truly died in the carriage accident, she would have incurred the disgrace of being charged with the murder of Emperor Maximilian and Duke of Schwaben all at once.
In either version of death, Celeste would be recorded in history as the most wicked criminal, while the real culprits might have vanished, seeking their own paths.
Is that why she’s expressing gratitude? The faint smile I had briefly seen from Celeste disappeared.
But do I deserve to be thanked by her, considering I played a part in overcoming the crisis that almost led to her being wrongfully accused? I couldn’t be sure.
Yet facing Celeste, who genuinely smiled at me with gratitude, made it difficult to maintain eye contact, so I lowered my gaze.
“Are you… comfortable?”
It was somewhat sentimental. I wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to say in this situation, but I asked if she was okay.
Now that I understood all her circumstances, which weren’t revealed in the original story, Celeste seemed like a thorough victim.
Of course, indirectly, she had also been an offender. By remaining silent and turning a blind eye to the wrongdoings, she was complicit to some extent.
However, the fact that she wasn’t a complete offender, as I had known all along, pained my heart.
Celeste didn’t answer. She simply offered a slightly clearer smile than before.
***
“Ugh.”
The moment I saw Celeste’s smile, the ground beneath me collapsed. My heart tightened with the dizzying sensation of falling off a crumbling cliff.
“Celly. Are you okay? What’s up with that dream?”
As I opened my eyes wide and looked around, the darkness and Celeste vanished, replaced by familiar scenery.
Only after confirming the white blanket, the curtains draped around the bed, and the familiar face right in front of me could I calm my startled heart.
“Karl….”
Both Celeste, who expressed her gratitude to me, and my father, who was emotional while holding Valerie, were all just dreams.
“Did you have a nightmare? You’re sweating so much.”
Karl’s expression as he wiped my forehead with his fingertips was troubling. It seemed I must have flailed around desperately in my dream while meeting Celeste.
“It seems that moving outside the palace was a huge psychological burden for you.”
“A nightmare… I did dream, but it’s nothing serious. I’m fine. By the way, what are you doing here?”
Surely, Karl had decided he couldn’t carelessly leave the palace, so it was hard to believe he appeared before me suddenly.
“You can’t leave the palace recklessly…”
“Yes. Officially, I’m still residing in the palace.”
“Is that really okay? Goodness, sneaking out of the palace like this.”
“Why shouldn’t I? I can hardly bear it, with you and Valerie lingering in my mind.”
“So you’re leaving the palace under false pretenses? What if someone finds out?”
“It’s not uncommon for the Emperor to leave the palace unofficially to survey the capital. I must return before dawn, though.”
“When did you arrive? You should have woken me sooner. If you need to leave before dawn, you won’t get much rest.”
“It’s fine. I wouldn’t be able to sleep alone without you, so even if I return to the palace, I’d spend the night wide awake. It’s less tiring this way.”
Since when did he become someone who spoke such sweet, almost sickening words?
Karl, smiling as he spoke, had an expression that seemed to be dripping with honey. Even though I felt a sudden fear of whether I deserved such great love, my heart was also swelling with emotion.
‘Thank you.’
The greeting of Celeste I saw in my dreams lingered in my mind.
Perhaps the happiness I feel now is a result of taking something from her, wondering if I, who stole the life and happiness that should have been hers, can go on without regard to everything and live in the present. Gradually, that worry began to dissipate.
I did not take her life. I have simply restored everything to its rightful place as I live her time, which ended over a year ago.
The conclusion I reached, albeit not a conclusion, calmed my anxious heart.
“Are you… crying?”
A lump formed in my throat, as if something was tightly squeezing it. My nose tingled, and my eyes burned.
“Why? Who has troubled you?”
At the sight of Karl’s suddenly fierce expression, tears I had struggled to hold back burst forth.
“No, it’s just… I’m grateful.”
I quickly grabbed him before he could stand up, ready to find out who had upset me.
I feared that if I let him go at this late hour, he might wake the count and issue harsh orders.
“I’m so thankful you are by my side.”
My heartfelt sincerity poured out. This immense happiness I had never experienced in my life, this boundless love, was sometimes overwhelming and sometimes deeply moving.
Tears streamed down uncontrollably as my fear of whether I deserved this happiness vanished.
“Oh, Celly.”
The anger that had clouded Karl’s face faded. Instead, he lowered his eyebrows and furrowed his brow, his expression resembling that of a newborn puppy.
“You speak such lovely words.”
His embrace was warm. The scent and warmth of his body from his shoulders and neck were sweet. It was the first time I discovered that someone’s warmth could be so reassuring, thanks to Karl.
I wrapped my arms around him from behind. It felt comfortable and calming. The weight of his body slowly resting on mine felt cherubic.
I wanted to bury my nose in him and enjoy this peace and warmth of love for as long as possible, until Karl unexpectedly broke this sweet atmosphere.
“Valerie… must feel lonely alone, right?”
“Excuse me?”
“I was just thinking how nice it would be if Valeria had a little sister.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Was it a sudden and unexpected comment? My mouth, which was about to ask, got blocked by Karl. And I understood the meaning of those words precisely three seconds later.
