Special Side Story 11
“Yes, I scheduled the surgery without your permission. Why would I have a baby with you? I am not qualified.
“Sa-eon…”
Heeju’s shoulders trembled slightly at the harsh words.
“You are the most precious person in my life. Why… do I have to leave behind my filthy, monstrous genes, and on top of that, borrow your vessel? It would be nothing but unjust.”
He lost control and shouted.
“How could I do that to you without going utterly insane!”
Heeju turned as white as a sheet.
“I have Baek Jang-ho’s blood running through my veins. I am his biological son. My nephew turned out to be a total psychopath. What if the same happens to us?”
He let it out, years of pent-up bitterness finally finding release in a torrent of words.
“The ideal husband would provide for you and offer you only the best. Then why would I leave you, with such a child, Heeju? That kind of temperament runs in the family. My genealogy says so clearly.”
A voice he had thought long silenced, unexpectedly resurfaced, leaving him pale with shame. Behind his perfect, obstinate face, he hid this nightmare.
“Then, if our child… if they inherit the blood—”
He clenched his jaw.
“Do I kill my own child with my own hands, like Baek Jang-ho, whom I’ve hated all my life?”
“……!”
“Baek Jang-ho did it for his honor and prestige, but I…!”
Seeing Sa-eon’s panicked state Heeju felt a heartache.
“I can’t bear to see tears in your eyes. If that child causes you even a slight pain… I won’t be able to bear it. I don’t need any children, you’re my everything. My only family.”
His eyes flashed dangerously, like the glint of a sharpened blade.
“The parents of a monster are destined to become monsters themselves.”
Heeju stiffened, stunned by the depth and darkness of his words. She observed from afar as his massive shoulders, which resembled an iron wall, shook imperceptibly.
‘I was a fool… When I smiled broadly at the crib. I didn’t even know…’
He slowly reached out and pulled her into a cold embrace.
“I don’t want that dangerous thing to develop in your body; I can’t afford to”
He buried his head in her nape.
A nightmare from the darkest days had clung to him, a constant reminder of his inability to lie or perhaps his own crippling insecurities.
Heeju squeezed her eyes shut.
‘Ah, this must be it— the secret Baek Sa-eon desperately tried to hide…’
“The most dangerous person for you is me. I distrust my genes more than anything else.”
“…….”
“I a-am disgusting. My biological father was a horrible man who drowned his own grandchild with his hand, and my biological mother—I don’t even know who she was. So who am I to have a child when I don’t know what afflicts me or what miserable life they would live?”
“No…”
As Heeju spoke firmly, she shook her head. His words, born from a profound darkness, seemed to reject any form of questioning.
Sa-eon thought the strange phenomenon of his sudden inability to lie was due to the guilt he felt for Heeju.
“The appointment with the doctor… It took a long time due to ethical and legal issues, but I haven’t changed my mind.”
Each word that fell from Baek Sa-eon’s lips seemed to tear him apart. Heeju desperately wanted to stop him. But she didn’t know what to say, and it felt as though she had turned into a mute again.
“Once everything is settled, I’m going to get a vasectomy.”
“……!”
“Heeju, please.”
Overwhelmed by his plea, Heeju could only choke back tears, clinging to Baek Sa-eon in a desperate embrace. She felt a fierce determination to fight his battles alongside him.
***
After a stormy night, the two fell asleep, embracing each other. Huddled together like shipwreck survivors, they shared their body heat, their vulnerability exposed in the face of the cold.
Sa-eon, who had a hard time sleeping, had a night of rest, perhaps due to exhaustion.
“…….”
Heeju felt pity for him and kissed his forehead. She felt sad seeing him so broken.
What should I do?… As a wife, and as a family, what could I do to help? But it wasn’t easy to persuade a man who had already made up his mind.
Then there was the deeply personal issue of Baek Sa-eon’s birth, which directly aggravated his existing wounds.
Unable to find an answer, Heeju curled up.
“…….”
Heeju lovingly stroked her husband’s weary face.
I don’t want to corner him and force him to have a child if that’s what he doesn’t want. Her first priority was their happiness together…
The child was, in fact, only a secondary matter. Everything Baek Sa-eon said in his desperation sounded like self-hatred. He didn’t reject the child, but he genuinely seemed unable to forgive and hated his own birth and blood.
I wonder if Baek Sa-eon recognized this side of himself… Whether he did or not, Heeju felt sorry for him.
“I love you.”
She whispered softly.
“I love you more than anything, Baek Sa-eon, and I don’t want you to be in pain. I don’t want you to suffer, and I’m so sorry you have to bear this alone…”
For the first time, Heeju wrapped him in her arms.
“I’m on your side, no matter what. Do you hear me? I’ll fight with you, whatever it is you’re afraid of. I’ll do it, no matter how long it takes…”
She opened her husband’s arms and snuggled into them. Today, she would stay by his side until he woke up, and the moment he opened his eyes, she would make sure to greet him with a smile.
I’ll say good morning, tell him not to worry, and I’ll make sure we’re okay.
Heeju squeezed her eyes shut, inhaling the faint scent of her husband’s body.
‘I hope my husband gets a good night’s rest…’
Heeju prayed and prayed through the night.
***
“…Sir, are you listening to me?”
Baek Sa-eon snapped out of his reverie at the sound of Assistant Yoon calling out to him repeatedly.
He released the tension in his jaw with a dazed sound, and the staff members couldn’t help but notice his distracted demeanor throughout the meeting.
“I’m sorry. Please, continue.”
His head felt strangely foggy. He couldn’t shake the sensation of waking from a long, long sleep.
As soon as he opened his eyes, Heeju smiled at me, her gaze radiating the love and devotion of a woman who had been waiting for him with all her heart.
The silent smile, the joy—it was so beautiful that he was stunned for a moment. Just like any other morning, but utterly unlike any other.
“Did you sleep well?”
When her clear voice asked, only then did Baek Sa-eon realize that he wasn’t dreaming.
‘I was busy pretending to be as normal as possible, hiding my rotten side. I thought seeing my miserable side, she would turn away. So why did you smile and greet me?’
The darker past the man had, the more he feared even happiness. The longer the marriage went on, the more nightmares seemed to accumulate, acting like opposing pressures.
The problem was still there but Sa-eon felt a strange sense of relief.
I opened my eyes, and there you were. I couldn’t have imagined a better morning.
“Whew….”
I couldn’t stop thinking about her all day, even after returning to work. As I frowned, the restless Assistant Yoon leaned in and whispered.
“…Sir, is there any problem…?”
“No, I’m fine.”
Then, the canceled agendas, the unavoidable events, and the new ones flowed from the mouths of the aides—
Sa-eon thought while spinning his pen, “All this while… Has it been that easy to divulge all my inner thoughts…?”
