As the dancers’ turns passed one by one, the lead role candidates waited to be called. Emilia glanced at the dancer next to her, who had been fidgeting anxiously for a while.
It was Christina Pirdana, with her deep wine-colored hair and amber eyes, someone whose striking appearance somehow didn’t leave much of an impression. Emilia had heard the other dancers say Christina was a hard worker, but it seemed she was the type to get very nervous.
Even so, Christina had become the principal ballerina this year and was given the lead role in [La Sylphide] for the first time. Since Emilia would be sharing the stage with her that day, she was somewhat looking forward to it. Lately, Christina seemed to be subtly avoiding her during practice, which was disappointing, but understandable since their roles didn’t interact.
“Christina Pirdana.”
When Christina’s turn finally came, there was an audible deep breath. She raised her hand, walked to the center, and began dancing to the piano’s tune.
‘Is she too nervous?’
She was doing well, but there was something slightly off. It felt like the tempo was a bit too fast. Just as Emilia tilted her head slightly, the chief choreographer, who sometimes gave feedback during auditions, spoke up.
“Too fast. Focus on the music!”
At those words, Christina blinked rapidly. Trying to remain calm, she took a deep breath and continued dancing, but the chief choreographer furrowed his brow.
The skill level of the dancers in the ballet company hadn’t reached a uniform high standard yet, so only one or two dancers were typically chosen for lead roles. However, given the long performance period, when they needed to select two or three lead dancers, the remaining spot was usually filled through competition among dancers with mid-to-upper-tier skills. Christina was one of the dancers chosen from this competitive group.
Although Christina had never performed as a first soloist in her seven years with the company, she was given this opportunity because her diligence was highly valued. However, it was hard not to feel disappointed every time she performed.
Emilia didn’t look at Christina as she returned to her seat with a pale face. If it was disappointing to watch, how much more must it have disappointed her? She must have known better than anyone else about her own abilities, making the situation all the more bitter.
Soon, it was Emilia’s turn. She went to the center and performed the dance she had prepared, capturing the judges’ attention. The stark contrast between her performance and Christina’s led to murmurs among the onlookers.
People whispered about whether Christina would lose the lead role. They remarked that if Emilia had auditioned for the lead role from the beginning, she would have taken Christina’s place based on skill alone.
These hurtful comments felt like sharp daggers stabbing into Christina’s heart. Her face turned bright red with shame, and she felt as if she might cry. Christina glared at Emilia, who was dancing beautifully in front of her, then quickly turned away. A drop of sweat hanging on the edge of her chin fell to the floor.
A few days later, the [Cinderella] casting announcement was posted on the bulletin board.
“Wow… Isn’t this the first time? For someone to be cast in a lead role so soon after joining?”
“Yeah, but she did dance exceptionally well.”
“Right. It’s not even jealousy; it’s just that comparing ourselves to her feels embarrassing.”
After the morning practice, the dancers gathered in the hallway to look at the bulletin board, and their conversation centered around one person—Emilia Este, who had been cast as the lead.
Among the male dancers, the shortest time to be cast in a lead role was after a year with the company, but this time, a ballerina who hadn’t even been with the company for half a year had secured the lead role. The problem was that when a rising star emerged, the person originally in that position would be pushed out, and soon the conversation shifted to that unfortunate individual.
“As expected, Christina was pushed out.”
“Honestly, Christina’s skills were always a bit borderline for a lead role. She’ll probably alternate with the second part from now on… It’s a shame.”
One dancer clicked his tongue and alternated his gaze between the roles of Cinderella and one of the stepmother’s daughters.
“It’s really sad when someone practices so hard but their skills just don’t match up.”
“Well, who can worry about who… But Christina’s getting older. If her skills don’t improve this year, she might naturally be on the path to retirement.”
“Oh, because she has to get married? Isn’t it already a bit late?”
“Well, it is, but next year would be even later, so she has to make a decision this year.”
No matter how quietly they spoke, the conversation inevitably reached those nearby. Christina, who had been standing at the back looking at the bulletin board, clenched her fists so tightly that her arms trembled. The veins in her eyes were visible.
Some dancers, realizing too late, backed away in alarm, but those at the front had no idea, so the conversation continued.
“There must be a lot of pressure for this performance.”
“What do you mean?”
“They scheduled Emilia and Christina to perform on the same day.”
“Oh, dear… But since Sylphide and Effie don’t have many scenes together… Oh!”
“What? Oh… Christina.”
The dancers who finally noticed Christina awkwardly apologized.
“We didn’t mean anything bad; we were just worried about you…”
Christina’s neck flushed a deep red. As the murmuring voices grew louder and people gathered in front of the bulletin board, those who had come to check the audition results slowly joined the crowd.
Emilia was among those who arrived later with Juliana. Sensing the tense atmosphere, she quietly moved closer to get a view of the bulletin board. When she saw Christina standing there with a hardened expression, she tilted her head in curiosity.
“Emilia, congratulations on getting the lead role!”
Juliana, who had already checked the bulletin board, shouted, drawing Christina’s sharp gaze to Emilia. The fierce look on Christina’s face caused Emilia’s smile to falter slightly.
Christina abruptly turned away just as Juliana grabbed Emilia’s arm and pulled her toward the bulletin board. After checking the casting, Emilia glanced at the spot where Christina had been standing.
Although she knew more than anyone else that skills came first and that it was an unavoidable reality, she couldn’t help feeling strange because it seemed like their fates had been reversed, just like the roles they had been cast in.
* * *
Emilia changed into a comfortable indoor dress and picked up a book for the first time in a long while.
Usually, unless she had a scheduled appointment, she would only change into a robe on Sundays and not into pajamas. However, she now felt that she should change her lifestyle a bit.
Of course, she hadn’t had time to read because of her ballet lessons, but even when she came home, she would just rest and do nothing, so she could count the number of times she had read on her fingers.
‘Actually, this isn’t the time for this… But I can’t go to the Duke’s mansion on a Sunday just to look at the materials in the box…’
Thinking that she would just pass the time by reading a book for now, Emilia went to the living room sofa and settled down comfortably. It seemed like a good choice to come to the living room because she thought she would fall asleep immediately if she read in her room.
The warm spring sunlight poured in through the window, and the pleasant scent of flowers from the slightly open window made her feel drowsy.
‘If I were in my room, I would have fallen asleep already… I’m so sleepy even now…’
Emilia tried to read with all her might, her eyes blurry after reading only a few pages. But within minutes that effort quickly crumbled as her eyelids grew heavier.
Zavetta, who was watching Emilia from the kitchen, smiled slightly and went to get a blanket. However, just before she went to her, she heard a soft knock on the door.
Zavetta opened the door cautiously and greeted Enrico Michele, who was naturally coming inside, in a small voice.
Enrico, who was putting down what he had brought on the shelf near the entrance, gave Zavetta a questioning look, and then stopped for a moment upon discovering Emilia, who was sitting on the long sofa in the living room and dozing off.
The breeze lightly moved the curtains, casting shadows that touched her briefly before retreating. The soft sunlight seemed to scatter like golden dust, making the scene appear radiant.
‘…She’s sleeping soundly.’
Enrico gestured to Zavetta to leave and sat down on the armchair near her sofa. Emilia, apparently not uncomfortable, had fallen asleep with her head resting against the back of the sofa. A book lay open on her lap, with her right hand resting on the pages.
His head tilted slightly.
A neat nose was neatly placed between her beautiful curved closed eyes, her cheeks were pink like ripe peaches, and her lips were red like a rose.
As he stared at her pale face in detail, he slowly closed and opened his eyes.
The too quiet house was filled only with her small breathing sound and the ticking sound of the watch on his wrist. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but somehow he didn’t want to.
The ticking of the watch continued. The watch, which he never went without, was the only thing that prevented the silence that gave him a feeling of being alone, but for the first time, this sound bothered him.
* * * *
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