He had a very high fever.
The rain came suddenly, but luckily, the noise and the dissipating smells were enough to make those creatures leave the crash site. By the time I returned to the area, only a few slow-moving ones were left. I walked much faster this time, and despite carrying him, I managed to make it back to the car I had driven out.
I carefully settled him into the passenger seat, quickly started the car, and drove to a secluded spot before stopping.
Gathering supplies from humans had become a routine after meeting him. Before finding this car in that town, I had already grabbed a large basket of items from pharmacies and small shops, even though I didn’t know which medicine could reduce inflammation or bring down a fever. However, I did know that the wound on his leg needed to be wrapped.
I disinfected my hands with alcohol, tore his pant leg, and carefully treated the wound. His clothes had been washed clean, but the faint smell of rot from before made me uneasy.
He said the injury was from the crash. I wasn’t sure if the wound had come into contact with any filth, even just a little, and whether it might infect him with some sort of virus… and then… cause a change.
Alcohol… It would sting, but it’s still better to disinfect.
I carefully dabbed some alcohol on clean gauze and moved it toward his wound.
The moment the gauze touched his skin, the man in the seat grimaced in pain, reaching out as if to push me away. His eyes half-opened, but instead of pushing, he grabbed my clothes and spoke hoarsely, “Persi… Persi…”
I let him hold on, still pressing the alcohol-soaked gauze to his wound, and responded, “I’m here…”
But he shook his head, his eyes wet and somewhat confused, as if he didn’t see me. He continued, “Persi… I didn’t really want to break up… Don’t agree to it… Don’t break up with me…”
I more or less understood what he was saying. I removed the bloodied gauze and brushed his bangs aside with one hand. “Alright, we won’t break up.”
He quieted down. I lowered my head and continued treating his wound.
After I wrapped the wound, I began unbuttoning his shirt. His entire body was soaked, and while the rain had washed away most of the dirt, the clothes still weren’t clean.
I grabbed some towels from the back seat, carefully wrapped him up, and placed him in the backseat.
As I dried his hair, he shivered constantly.
Even though I wasn’t warm, he kept pulling me toward him. His wet clothes were too cold, so I took mine off and knelt beside him, continuing to dry his hair.
He mumbled incoherently at times, and occasionally, tears would well up in his eyes.
Sometimes, when he opened his eyes, he looked at me pitifully and whispered, “It hurts.”
I leaned in and asked, “Where does it hurt?”
With a trembling voice, he said, “Everywhere… It hurts all over…”
My hands trembled slightly. I wrapped the blanket around him more tightly and said, “Be good. Once your fever breaks, it won’t hurt anymore. Sleep for a while.”
Sleep for a while—maybe it won’t hurt while he sleeps.
But I didn’t dare let him sleep too deeply. After drying his hair, I shook some pills in front of him and said, “Xu Lin, Xu Lin, open your eyes, alright? Which one is the fever medicine? Just open your eyes and look.”
He groggily opened his eyes but didn’t answer me. Instead, he grabbed my wrist and said, “I knew… everything would be fine…”
“You like me so much… how could you leave me to die?… You’d definitely come back for me…”
“Persi, I was wrong… I won’t mention breaking up anymore… Can we not break up, please…”
I was so anxious, but there was nothing I could do. I gently stroked his hair to comfort him. “Alright, no more breakups, never again.”
His grip loosened a little. I hurriedly withdrew my hand and carefully examined the label on one of the bottles. Something about “head” was on it… Could this be for headaches?
It didn’t matter anymore. Things couldn’t get much worse, right? My hands trembled as I took out two pills, helped him sit up, and stuffed them into his mouth, then gave him some water.
He started coughing violently. I patted his back, readjusted the blanket that had fallen, and he leaned against my shoulder, wrapping his arm around my waist.
I tried to push him away. I wasn’t warm, and staying close to me would only make him sicker.
But he wouldn’t let go. When I pushed, he only held on tighter. Even though he was half-unconscious, his strength seemed to have increased. He wouldn’t let go, no matter what.
When I pushed too hard, he pitifully whispered things like, “You don’t want me anymore,” “Don’t push me away.”
I had no choice but to hold him. “I want you, I won’t push you away.”
Don’t talk to me like that… Just get better. Please, get better.
Nothing must happen to him. It can’t.
He’s so hot—frighteningly hot. It’s just like…
No… that’s impossible… I couldn’t even bear to bite him, how could he be hurt so easily…
Someone, please tell me what to do.
I don’t know what to do other than hold him tightly and stay with him.
“…Xu Lin… If you change, you’ll look ugly… you are so narcissistic, if you turn ugly, you’ll cry, right? I won’t help you if the other zombies laugh at you…”
“…Xu Lin… Didn’t you say you’d chop off my hand if I ever used it to block an attack for you again? But if you turn into that, you won’t even be able to move your stiff body…”
“…Xu Lin.”
My lips were pressed to his ear, and I kept calling his name over and over.
It felt like if I didn’t do that, he really would leave me.
I kept whispering his name, over and over, never getting tired. But he never woke up again, never spoke to me again, not even the rambling nonsense.
The hand that had been wrapped around my waist slowly loosened and fell to the side.
I lifted his hand and placed it back around me. When it slipped again, I replaced it, over and over.
I was so cold, but I still felt his body heat slipping away bit by bit, growing cooler and cooler. His chest, which was pressed against mine, seemed to still have a heartbeat—or maybe it didn’t. I couldn’t tell anymore.
I should check his wound… maybe it’s already healing… but I couldn’t bring myself to let him go.
It didn’t seem to matter anymore, at least I was still with him. At least I was still with him.
Worst-case scenario, we’d both become zombies. Worst-case, he’d forget me, but if I stayed with him, he’d remember me again one day…
I held him like that until the sky grew completely dark.
Until the bright sunlight shone down again.
I sat there stiffly, as if I could see a vast green meadow before me. A gentle breeze, warm sunlight, and the pure blue and green hues stretched out in my view. He sat next to me.
Disbelieving, I reached out to touch his cheek. “…Xu Lin?”
He frowned at me. “Can’t you call me something else?”
Watching his lively expression, I couldn’t help but laugh. I threw myself at him, hugging him tightly.
The sudden movement knocked him onto the grass, his eyes wide with surprise. I couldn’t resist reaching out to brush his eyelashes.
He yelled out, “Chen Ke, you’re heavy, so heavy! Get up, get up! My clothes are all wrinkled, you jerk!”
“I’ll iron them, I’ll wash them for you.” As long as you’re alive, that’s all that matters.
“I don’t need you! Hurry, get up, get up! You’re really heavy, come on, you jerk…” He was laughing and complaining as he tried to push me off.
Reluctantly, I propped myself up, staring at him in dissatisfaction.
He pressed his lips together. “What?”
“Do you love me or your clothes more?”
“My clothes.”
“…”
“Hey! Don’t tickle me… haha… Chen Ke, I was wrong, I was wrong! I love you the most, okay? Stop messing around… haha… You can’t even recognize this shirt, can you?”
???
What shirt don’t I recognize?
I carefully examined the shirt—just a regular T-shirt with a fancy letter “P” on it.
After thinking about it, I realized: “Mine?”
He laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe, weakly saying, “Aren’t you going to get up? I… uh… Persi… what’s with that look?”
He swallowed nervously.
What look?
My person, wearing my shirt. Of course, I’d have the expression any normal man would have.
His face started to blush, and his pale complexion made it all the more obvious.
He stopped pushing me away, and I didn’t continue to press down on him. Instead, I let him hook his arms around my neck, his face flushed as he tilted his head and smiled. “Persi.”
“Hmm?”
“When we’re old, let’s buy a small island and live there, just the two of us. How about that?”
“Okay.” I pressed my forehead to his, my voice deep and resonant. I couldn’t help but start to imagine it too. “By then, I’ll make you breakfast every day, take you swimming, paddleboarding. And when we’re too old to walk, we’ll lie together in a lounge chair, facing the sea.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
You promise… you promise…
A faint light made my eyelids feel uncomfortable.
I squinted slightly, then closed my eyes again, dazed for a moment before opening them.
No grass, no breeze, no blue sky. The morning sun hadn’t fully risen yet.
Another sunrise.
My arm felt… strange.
At some point, I lay beside him. Seeing the blanket half-off, I quickly covered him again. Accidentally touching his hand, the slight chill made me shiver.
I stared at him, seeking confirmation, and after a long while, I finally exhaled.
His chest rose and fell—he was still breathing.
But as I released that breath halfway, I stopped abruptly.
One second, two seconds, three seconds.
I held my breath for three seconds, then slowly exhaled and subconsciously inhaled again.
I looked at him, then down at myself, and gently withdrew the hand he was holding, placing it over my chest.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
His eyelashes fluttered slightly, adjusting to the light as he blinked. His vision was probably still blurry, so he reached for my hand again.
I lowered my head, watching as his hand covered mine, feeling the slight coolness of his skin.
Instinctively, I squeezed his hand. My fingers brushed against his palm, and I noticed that his palm was a bit warmer, contrasting with the cooler tips of my fingers.
He held my hand tightly, using his other hand to prop himself up against the seat, grimacing. “…It hurts.”
I smiled.
To feel pain… that’s a good sign.
To feel the warmth difference in the same hand, the heartbeat, the breathing—all of it… it’s all good.
He looked at my smile, confused. “…Why are you smiling?”
He glanced around, eyes bright and full of questions. “Did you find this car from that town? Did you drive it here yourself? You’re not fooling me… Weren’t you terrible at driving? How did you…?”
I tightened my grip on his hand.
“Xu Lin.”
“The sun is rising.”
—THE END—
