Xu Lin’s Perspective
It is now 4:57 PM. It has been three hours and twenty-four minutes since he disappeared from my sight.
I feel like I’m going to go insane.
Because he hasn’t shown up, for safety reasons, we have stayed here. He must be at one of the initial inspection spots. This place is a shop. I think they’ve probably found a lot of useful things, but I have no interest at all. I haven’t helped, and no one has come to ask me to.
I’m standing at the window like a madman, waiting for him, hoping he might appear any second.
I don’t know if I might suddenly collapse at some point and scream his name, disregarding the safety of everyone behind me.
I’ve also speculated many possibilities: lost? Captured? Or… is it intentional?
While dealing with the zombies outside, we fired a few shots. So even if there were gunshots inside, I couldn’t know. I don’t even dare to go looking, I’m afraid that if I find him, I might see…
No, I can’t think like that.
Xiao Miao called me from behind, and I didn’t turn around. Then I saw her come to my side and whisper, “Maybe he’s just lost.”
I smiled faintly, probably a very unappealing smile, and she gave up on persuading me.
Five years ago, if someone had told me that I would go crazy over a man, I might have put him on my blacklist.
Eight months ago, if someone had told me that this world would really turn into a mess, I would have laughed it off— as if the world wasn’t already bad enough.
I can’t remember the exact time, but I’ve gradually started to believe that many things are not impossible.
Perhaps because he is here, I’ve come to believe in many things I once thought were impossible.
I’ve come to believe that there are truly people in this world who are perfectly matched with you, as if born to be together, and no matter how you try to separate them, you can’t fundamentally remove the other.
Even under many circumstances, with countless separations and reconciliations, and the pretenses in front of others, one can always find a place in their heart for the other.
Actually, not long before the disaster struck, I had a big argument with him.
But when the disaster came, everything seemed irrelevant. The person who had spoken harshly to me was still full of concern and protection, risking himself to save me.
I remember when we were close, he always liked to hug me from behind, bury his head in my shoulder, and speak in a husky voice, saying things like “Xu Lin, I really really like you.”
He always made me shiver, but seeing his look of realization made it hard to stay angry.
I really wanted to ask him, “Do you like me enough to give up the stage?” but I never asked.
At that time, he was very clingy, loved to surprise me, and acted like a child, treating me like a child too.
Two men in their fifties could act like kids all day in the house. I even once said on a show during that period, “Being together, even drinking water feels romantic.”
But romance doesn’t put food on the table. He loves the stage, and I continue to strive. With similar experiences, we both understand each other’s difficulties, so how could I bear to become a stumbling block for him?
Sometimes I feel really stupid.
Having acted in so many romantic stories, I’m still at a loss when it comes to myself. When I meet that person, all my calm and thoughts disappear.
Clearly wanting to be with him forever, even thinking it’s okay if we’re busy with our own things now, living together when we’re old, or imagining going to a small unknown country where it’s just the two of us, spending every day like children.
Chen Ke, if you really ran away by yourself, or if you’re truly dead… I swear, I will hate you.
Unable to wait any longer, I went to the door, and a hand reached out to stop me.
It was Meng Chao.
I took a deep breath. “Move aside.”
He shook his head. “It’s getting dark. You can’t go out now. Tomorrow morning, Zhou Kang and I will go look for him with you.”
That was the best guarantee he could give. I know, I don’t want to make things difficult for him, but I also can’t convince myself.
He looked at me with some frustration. “Don’t be impulsive. If he hasn’t encountered anyone, he’s not in danger. If he has… and hasn’t been… If you go out alone now, without knowing the other side’s strength, it’s just seeking death.”
Xiao Miao’s voice came from behind. “Meng Ge is right. You all want to survive together. If you go out now and he’s fine but you end up in trouble, and he’s back to that state… Won’t you regret it to death?”
I understand. I understand all of this.
But I can’t bear to lose him again.
I shook my head, about to say something, when Zhou Kang suddenly called me from the window.
“Hey, Xu Lin, is that him?”
I hurried to the window. It was far away, and the sky was very dark. There was another person next to him, but I would recognize that figure anywhere. A Lu also leaned over, “That person next to him is a zombie, right?” but his hand was already on the gun.
I held him down. “Don’t shoot recklessly. Let me check first.”
“What if that person next to him is a human? What if they don’t recognize him and threaten him…”
“I trust him.” I adjusted my clothes to cover the knife at my waist. “Wait for my signal.”
Before Meng Chao could say anything more, I opened the door and ran out.
Just as I closed the door behind me, I heard his voice calling my name. That one “Xu Lin” felt like a lifeline. I moved my feet and ran toward him, barely managing to hold back the urge to yell at him, “Where have you run off to this time?”
The person next to him was a girl, stumbling along. The sky was too dark, and her face seemed to have some bloodstains. I frowned in confusion and heard her say smoothly, “Are you his friend?”
I stopped, nodded.
He stood across from me, and although I stared at him, he didn’t come over.
I was a bit annoyed.
He waved at me. “The people here… are still children… tell everyone to put away their weapons… you need to… come with me.”
I’ve been worried sick for nearly four hours. What’s with that happy look on your face?
I took a deep breath, turned around, waved at them to stay put, then followed him, asking, “What’s going on?”
He still looked very happy, with his mouth turned up.
“I found… my kind.”
I was stunned for a moment. He grabbed my hand, glanced at the girl as if to reassure her that I was okay. Then the girl took something and rubbed it on my face. The smell made me immediately understand, so I let him lead me into the darkness.
He gripped my hand tightly, but I felt an inexplicable anxiety.
He never sees me as his kind. He doesn’t want me to get hurt, protecting me with all his strength, but never thinking of me as his equal.
That idiot…
