The town was very quiet, and there weren’t any tall buildings. Once we entered, we quickly saw a gas station and some shops by the roadside.
Worried that there might be some swift-moving, skin-and-bones creatures in the gas station’s building, I went in alone for a quick check. There was nothing around, just a few scattered convenience items on the shelves. I grabbed a nearby basket and casually tossed in some food. They could handle sorting it out later.
Carrying the basket outside, I signaled that it was still safe here. The two of them then grabbed a few empty containers, ready to fill them with gasoline.
Zhou Kang looked around and gestured to me, saying, “I wonder if we can find a cart or some kind of vehicle. Otherwise, with just the two of us, it’ll be tough.”
I replied, “There might be a cart in the store, but let’s look for a car later. When we go search for other supplies, we should take a can of gasoline with us—just in case we run into a horde of zombies, we can at least block them for a while. Persi, where are you going?”
I had already walked out of the gas station.
The wounds on my body were gradually healing, no longer secreting that dirty stuff, which meant I couldn’t mask his scent anymore. He wouldn’t let me tear open new wounds either, and besides, it probably wouldn’t help.
If just one or two mindless zombies showed up, I hoped to make good use of them.
When he called my name, I didn’t turn around. I just waved my hand to reassure him.
And almost at the same time, I remembered this place.
I recalled the screams, the smell of blood and flesh, and the sound of a car horn blaring from beyond the bridge. That was the only thing that finally made us turn away from here.
I don’t remember exactly how many people I bit to death, just the cries, the heat, and the uncontrollable urge to devour.
“Persi? Persi?” When I snapped out of it, he was standing in front of me, holding my hand.
I took a step back. He followed, confused. “What’s wrong with you?”
I kept retreating, shaking my head. “If… if it’s this quiet here… there will be… more of my kind.”
I was sure we hadn’t finished them off when we left.
He quickly understood.
Zhou Kang, who was standing farther away, looked over at the two of us. Seeing me glance his way, he immediately said to the person beside me, “In that case, it’s better not to take risks for now. Come over here. We’ll grab more gasoline and get out. Not having transportation is our biggest issue.”
He looked at me, and I nodded. “Go ahead, I’ll keep watch.”
Behind me, the faint sound of gasoline flowing into the containers could be heard. After a while, I caught snippets of their conversation.
“How sure are you that he won’t turn back?”
“… I know he won’t.”
“He didn’t mention it when he came here, only bringing it up afterward. I believe he’s not trying to harm you. So, the only explanation is that he just remembered. Does that mean he’s starting to regain memories?”
“Yes.”
“Won’t those memories affect him? I mean, memories of bloodlust… will they trigger some violent factors or something like that?”
“…”
Yes.
I could hear them, hear them clearly.
And I could clearly feel certain impulses within me.
The desire to bite down, the longing for the smell of blood.
Yet, on the other hand, I knew I shouldn’t do that.
But if… if for just a moment, instinct overwhelmed everything…
He walked over, holding a few cans of gasoline, and called me softly, “Persi, we can go now.”
I started walking after him.
There seemed to be some commotion in the village. They quickened their pace, but I maintained my original speed. After a few steps, he stopped in front of me and turned to look back.
I noticed his hand trembling slightly, as if he would drop everything and come back for me if I stopped.
In the end, I caught up to him.
The harvest was not bad. Although the food was only what I had scavenged earlier, the amount of gasoline we got should be enough.
Given that the town likely housed a fair number of aggressive creatures and their ammunition seemed insufficient, the group decided to keep moving forward. This whole area was suburban, and if we could find a normal, uninhabited house, it might be safer, though the supplies would be fewer.
Once in the car, I sat next to him. He glanced at me, then scooted further inside, turning his head to the other side, avoiding my gaze.
I had a gut feeling he was angry.
But I couldn’t figure out why.
Since he wasn’t talking to me and I didn’t enjoy speaking much either, I just sat quietly, watching the scenery pass by.
After a while, someone suddenly scooted closer from my other side.
It was the girl called Xiao Miao. She moved closer but then hesitated, scooting away a little as if timid, then reconsidering and wanting to come closer again.
I stared at her and shook my head.
She stopped, offering me an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I’m actually… not that scared of you.”
I knew, but she should be. Even I was afraid I might bite someone.
She seemed to hesitate before carefully asking, “Do you know how long all of this has been going on?”
I shook my head—it was too tiring to speak. Finding the right words was a hassle, and if I could, I preferred not to talk.
She gestured with her hands. “It’s been about six months now.”
Then, she started telling me many things, or asking me questions.
She said I was an actor, which I had already guessed. Even if I wasn’t a movie star, I’d be in a similar profession. Otherwise, how would I know him?
She said it all happened so suddenly. At first, it was just one city, and they thought it could be cured. But within two weeks, it had spread to many places, and every city seemed to have become a dead zone.
They had been on the run for several months. Some people had been part of the group from the beginning, some joined halfway, and some had already died.
None of this surprised me.
But as she spoke, tears suddenly started streaming down her face.
I looked at her, unsure what to do. On my other side, he suddenly moved. He got up, walked over to her, crouched down, and gently hugged her, patting her back.
I heard Xiao Miao sob, “Maybe… maybe back then Zhao Fei could also… He didn’t… pounce on me and want to eat me directly…”
“If only we had given him more time… If only we had given him more time, maybe he could have…”
I reached out my left hand and gently touched her arm.
She looked at me through tear-filled eyes.
Slowly, I said, “You’re alive… he would be… happy.”
She smiled slightly, slowly but firmly nodding her head. She wiped her tears, waved her hand, and stood up, saying to us, “I’ll go… get some fresh air in the back.”
I watched her walk away and saw him sit down where he had been crouching, adjusting his pant leg as he leaned against the side of the truck with his head down.
I propped myself up with one hand and scooted closer to him, sitting very near.
This time, he didn’t move away.
I rested my left hand on his knee. “I’m alive… would you… be happy too?”
He raised his eyes to look at me. I added, “Even if… it’s this kind of… ‘alive’?”
The reason that old man hesitated, watching his daughter being bitten by his wife but unable to bring himself to act, wasn’t that he didn’t understand. He was just clinging to a sliver of hope.
He knew that if he shot his wife in the head, she would fall, and that would truly be the last time he’d ever see her.
You have to be alive to have a chance to meet again.
Even if that can’t really be called living.
So, when he saw me again, though I had changed, with a shattered bottle in my hand and a gun, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pull the trigger.
He still looked at me and placed his hand over mine.
Warmth seeped through, and I felt a slight sense of relief.
“Xu Lin.”
“If I lose… my mind…”
“I will bite you.”
He chuckled softly, tilting his head and squinting his eyes. There seemed to be stars in them.
“Then could you maybe not eat me so cleanly?”
