Two days had passed since the investiture ceremony.
According to the Emperor, it would be a week—just one week more until Sasha and Armin would return.
Perhaps I was more worn out than I realized from not hearing anything from Andre. After the ceremony, I had finally begun to relax a little.
Once I told my parents everything, their faces noticeably brightened. With Sasha on his way back, there was nothing more to worry about. That is, if not for the Crown Prince’s overly confident parting words.
I didn’t mention that to my parents. They had just found some peace of mind—I didn’t want to burden them with more worries.
Our entire family waited with one heart for the message that the delegation returning from the border had reached the capital.
But a day passed. Then another. Still, no such news spread in the capital. As if the Emperor had lied to me.
I knew several children of central noble families had been dispatched to the border guards, so it was odd that there wasn’t even a whisper of rumors.
Then, one afternoon when the sunlight felt unusually warm, I found out why.
“Lady Vivian Roha, come out at once and receive the Emperor’s decree.”
Instead of the long-awaited news of Sasha and Armin, what crossed our threshold was none other than the Imperial family’s golden carriage.
“What in the world…”
The investiture had barely ended. Yet already, another message from the palace?
Something felt wrong. The man who brought the Emperor’s command lowered his voice gravely.
“Kneel. This is an order from His Majesty.”
Why are bad premonitions never wrong? The way he was setting the tone—I felt in my bones that this was not an ordinary summons.
As I stood there dumbfounded, the man spoke again.
“Lady Vivian Roha. Kneel. You don’t intend to receive His Majesty’s command in such a manner, do you?”
If he had borne a grudge against me, he would’ve read the decree without warning and reported to the palace that I had disrespected the Emperor. That would’ve been enough.
And yet, he gave me two chances. That meant he had reason to extend me this courtesy.
And I was right.
“Vivian Roha, hear this.”
The one who snapped me out of my stupor and made me kneel before disaster struck was my mother. With me on my knees, the man began reading the Imperial edict over my bowed head.
“Today, to find a consort for the Crown Prince, five young ladies from various noble houses have been selected as candidates.”
The conclusion was just as the Crown Prince had warned—I had been chosen as a candidate for Crown Princess.
I didn’t hear anything that followed. The voice reading the decree faded into the background. Once it ended, the man rolled up the scroll and gave me a long, deliberate look.
“You don’t seem particularly pleased.”
His tone suggested he was surprised.
“She’s just overwhelmed, that’s all. She’s always had a delicate constitution—just a little shock is enough to make her unwell,” my father offered an excuse, flimsy as it was.
The man cleared his throat.
“Lord Roha, this is a great honor for your family. They say five ladies have been selected, but word in the palace is that Her Majesty the Empress already favors Lady Vivian as the top candidate.”
It seemed the Empress and the Crown Prince, spurred by the Emperor’s words, had decided to act first.
Still, how could such a critical matter as choosing the Crown Princess move this quickly—in just two days?
“His Majesty said it was too hasty, but even he holds great regard for Lady Vivian. He awarded her a medal, after all.”
The man’s uncharacteristically long speech was likely an attempt to curry favor with what could become the Crown Princess’s family. My head was beginning to spin.
“…Thank you for your words.”
“I’m sorry to the young ladies of the four families I visited earlier, but in my opinion, this selection is already as good as decided—unless, of course, something unfortunate happens.”
As he said this, I could feel his eyes flick briefly toward me.
“Her Majesty the Empress wishes to conclude the selection quickly.”
“…Pardon?”
“In two days, the ceremony to verify the purity of the Crown Princess candidates will take place at the cathedral.”
“That soon…? As you may know, Vivian’s older brother Alessandro has yet to return.”
At my father’s words, the man smiled faintly.
“Once the cathedral ceremony is complete, the candidate will be officially confirmed. Everything else will proceed in due course after that.”
“You mean…”
“The wedding will take place after the border guards have returned. There is no need to worry too much, Lord Roha.”
With that, the man left. Stunned. That was the only word that came to mind.
My vision blackened from the edges inward. And then—complete darkness.
I heard my mother’s scream at my side, and then the dull thud of my head hitting the floor. A hazy pain rushed in—and I lost consciousness.
* * *
When I came to, I saw a familiar ceiling. It was my bedroom ceiling.
I must have fallen asleep completely after fainting that morning. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was just past midnight, in the dead of night.
‘Should I just run away?’
Two days. It felt as if I had received a death sentence: only two days left to live. My mind went blank.
“Characters in novels all live such good lives.”
Especially those who remember their past lives—they all seem to do just fine. Why am I the only one stuck like this?
Moonlight dimly reflected off the white sheets, casting a pale blue glow. Tears had left stains on the fabric.
‘I struggled so hard… so why hasn’t anything changed?’
No one said it aloud, but my fingernails—bitten in secret—were torn and ragged. My fingertips were covered in peeled skin and hangnails. I anxiously picked at them again and again.
“Ah…!”
Pain shot through my finger. Through tear-blurred eyes, now cleared by falling drops, I saw blood seeping into the sheets from the wide, fresh wound. Even in this situation, the pain felt real.
“I… I can’t do this anymore.”
My muttered words echoed eerily in the empty room. Having been unconscious all day, my throat was dry, and the sound that came out was raspy, like metal scraping.
Then—
“Vivi, you’re awake?”
The one who entered through the door was my mother.
Startled, I quickly hid my hand behind my back. What could possibly bring her to my room at this hour?
“Oh, heavens… Vivi…”
Seeing my hand, Mother didn’t make a fuss. Instead, she immediately brought out a handkerchief to stop the bleeding. The moment her warm touch met my skin, I collapsed into her arms.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I can’t do it anymore. It’s too hard… h-hhic… sob…”
My mother gently patted my back as I buried my face in her embrace and cried.
“It’s alright, Vivi. Do as your heart tells you. Okay? Don’t cry. It’s okay.”
I didn’t know what “okay” meant anymore. With one choice, I’d seen my brother forced to the border. If I went against the Imperial family now, our small Roha household could be wiped out in an instant.
That’s what power is. No matter who held the sword, it would still spill blood by the will of its master—whether that master was good or evil. Even knowing that, my mother stroked my back and whispered that everything would be alright.
“You were always so fragile, even as a child. After you fell from the balcony, the doctors told me something…”
She began speaking slowly, like reading a fairytale from long ago.
“They said the head injury might cause you to say strange things or even change your personality. In the worst case, they said you might not be able to maintain a sound mind.”
It was the first time I’d ever heard this. Her voice remained calm, soothing.
“Just like they said, you did start saying things we couldn’t understand, and you changed a little. But that was all fine. No matter how you change, I’m still your mother.”
The pain in my hand was nothing compared to the flood of emotions from her gentle comfort.
“Vivi, the fact that you’ve lived this far, healthy and strong—that alone has been an indescribable blessing to your father and me. You don’t need to carry the burden of this family at the cost of your own happiness. It’s alright. No one will blame you for that.”
“Sasha… Any word from my brother?”
“…There’s been none.”
Now that the last sliver of hope had vanished, my mother seemed to have made up her mind.
“Tomorrow night, sneak out of the estate.”
“Then what about you and Dad—”
“We’ll be fine. You must head to the border. Go find the Young Duke.”
As she said this, she slipped a ring off her finger. She smiled as she slid it onto mine—it fit perfectly.
“I thought you were still just a little girl, but when did your fingers grow to be the same size as mine? My sweet girl… you’ve grown so much.”
“Mom…”
“This was the first ring your father ever gave me. I was planning to pass it onto Sasha’s wife someday, but… I think it suits you better.”
The warm green gemstone, encased in delicate gold leaves, was a ring I had coveted since I was a child. No matter how much I begged or pouted, my mother had never once told me I could even try it on—not even as a joke. That’s why the tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my face now.
“Oh dear. My sweet Vivi, you haven’t even eaten, and now you’re crying yourself into hunger. Your chubby cheeks used to be your charm—why have you lost so much weight?”
“Mom… I…”
“Do what you want to do. Whatever path you choose, as long as it brings you happiness, your father and I will be okay with it.”
Mother cut me off gently, but firmly. In her eyes, I saw a quiet determination—no matter what I chose, she would never resent me for it.
