The next day, as I prepared to attend the royal ball, my maid Michelle looked at me with anxious eyes.
“My Lady, are you really going to hide the book there?”
“Yes. How does it look? It’s not noticeable at all, right?”
“It’s not noticeable at all, and that’s the problem.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Oh… never mind. If you didn’t understand, it’s fine.”
Michelle seemed frustrated, as if she wanted to say something but held back. Why was she acting like this? It’s fine. I looked at the novel hidden in my chest area in the mirror and asked,
“Why? It’s not noticeable, right?”
“That’s the point. You’re going to wear a shawl, right?”
“Yes. And put a brooch in the middle. In case Sasha sees it and makes a fuss.”
“If you’re worried about that, wouldn’t it be better not to do it at all?”
“Huh?”
“Never mind, my Lady. I’ll get the brooch.”
Michelle used to be different when she was younger. Now, she seems to have given up on me. She would often start to say something and then stop.
After Michelle pinned the golden brooch on me, I looked perfect on the outside. If the shawl came off, the book tucked between my breasts would be noticeable, but who cares? In other words, as long as the shawl didn’t come off, it would be fine.
I planned to hide the book as soon as I arrived, so as long as Sasha didn’t notice, everything would be okay.
“My Lady, the carriage is ready.”
“Yes! I’ll be right down!”
I quickly responded to the butler and carefully descended the stairs.
My parents seemed touched just by seeing me walk gracefully, but in reality, I was just being careful not to move the book I had secured.
As soon as I got into the carriage, Sasha looked at me strangely. His gaze made me feel a pang of guilt.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“They say clothes make the man, and you do look good. But that shawl is the worst.”
“No! It’s fine. I really like this shawl.”
“The brooch makes it even worse. What is that? Did you pick it up from somewhere? Really.”
Sasha clicked his tongue and took out a brooch he had brought. It was definitely more luxurious than my scratched and old one.
“Stay still. I’ll pin it for you.”
Sasha approached me. If he touched the shawl, he would immediately notice the book I had hidden. I kicked Sasha in the stomach in panic. Sasha retched from the sudden kick.
“You…!”
“You suddenly came close, so…! D-Don’t be so dramatic! I’ll do it myself, just give it to me.”
“I suddenly came close, so…?”
“Yes! It’s your fault. Anyone would be scared if you suddenly came close.”
I felt a bit sorry for kicking Sasha in the stomach when he was defenseless, but I boldly raised my voice. Contrary to my expectation that he would be very angry, praise came out of Sasha’s mouth.
“Good job.”
“What?”
Sasha handed me the brooch and continued with his strange talk.
“Good job. If someone comes close like that, forget about dignity, just kick them.”
I nodded vaguely at Sasha’s “Got it?” But my thoughts were different.
I only acted that way because it was my brother, and I felt comfortable. I wouldn’t act like that to anyone else outside. In reality, if I acted like that, I would be criticized as an uneducated lady.
Unfortunately, that’s the kind of world this is. And to survive in this world, I have evolved into a hypocritical lady with a ninth-degree pretense.
* * *
It’s been a while since Sasha had acted so much like an older brother, and it made the atmosphere quite strange. As Sasha flicked the boot print left on his clothes, I scolded him loudly for no reason.
“Who would approach like that? Everyone thinks I’m boring and quiet.”
I’ve become so good at pretending to be demure that I play the role of a wallflower at social gatherings. I try to be as unnoticeable as possible, blending in naturally. My specialty is disappearing quietly.
At the ball, there are plenty of people who want to stand out, so hiding is easy. But Sasha spoke with a somewhat serious expression.
“You need to be careful because someone important is coming.”
“Who is it?”
“Armin Grey.”
“Armin Grey? THAT Grey heir?”
I widened my eyes and asked again. Armin, the only son of the Grey family, is around the same age as Sasha and me, but rumor has it that he will soon inherit the dukedom.
The Grey family is one of the most prestigious central noble families in this country. I heard he wasn’t interested in social gatherings, so why was he attending this time? I tilted my head and asked Sasha.
“Why is the Grey heir, who I’ve only heard about in rumors, coming?”
“Word is, for a reason, similar to yours. He’s looking for a bride before inheriting the dukedom.”
“Really?”
I smirked. Seeing Sasha so tense about Armin Grey, whom I’ve never even seen, I jokingly said,
“That’s good. I’m looking for a husband, and he’s looking for a wife, so it’s a win-win for both of us.”
“Absolutely not. Not him.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s not the kind of person who would understand you.”
Sasha shook his head. Then he continued,
“The Grey dukedom is the most prestigious and closest to the royal family among the central noble families. Imagine marrying into such a family. You’d wither away in less than a year.”
“Ugh, you’re right.”
I quickly backed down. Seeing me, Sasha sighed deeply.
“Other noble families might understand your strange behaviors to form a connection with our family.”
Recently, the Roha viscount family has amassed tremendous wealth through overseas trade. Although we are viscounts, our wealth alone puts us among the top ten in the country.
Sasha telling me to casually choose a husband is a statement filled with confidence in our family’s wealth. Though there might also be some hope that I’ll improve my behavior if I show interest in men.
“But the Grey family… they would never understand you.”
I found myself increasingly interested in this new information.
“What are they like?”
“Duke Grey is one of the most influential people in noble society. He’s quite aggressive and fully supports those he likes, but…”
“But?”
“He’s known for being ruthless to those he doesn’t like.”
Sasha made a gesture of slitting his throat. It seemed like it wasn’t an exaggeration, and I felt a chill down my spine.
I swallowed and asked about the Duchess. Unlike the Duke, I knew a bit about her.
“I heard the Duchess doesn’t like socializing much.”
In fact, she doesn’t attend most social events and only associates with a few close acquaintances.
Sasha nodded.
“She’s known for being arrogant. Unless she thinks someone is beneath her, the Duchess of such a prestigious family wouldn’t act that way.”
The more I heard, the more it seemed like the Grey family was mostly cold-hearted. They really didn’t seem like a good match for me.
Seeing me tense up, Sasha emphasized his point again.
“So, stay away from Armin Grey. His family has everything and wants for nothing. Don’t even think about catching his eye.”
“You worry too much. Armin Grey is known to have very high standards. Why would someone like that be interested in someone like me?”
“Someone like you?”
Sasha bristled. Usually, he’s tough on me, but the noble sibling dynamic of ‘if anyone’s going to criticize you, it’s going to be me’ applies here. He’s the type of brother who always nags me but can’t stand it when others belittle me.
“What’s wrong with you? You’ll probably be the prettiest one at the ball.”
“Please, spare me the flattery. There will be plenty of gorgeous blondes and silvers. Who would even notice someone as plain as me?”
“You don’t know your own worth.”
Sasha looked at me incredulously. This kind of talk always makes me cringe. My family is too soft on me, really.
“Okay, okay. So, you’re worried that Armin Grey and I might get involved?”
It seemed like a pointless worry, but I nodded anyway. I didn’t want to waste energy on something that wouldn’t happen. My only interest was in how quickly I could escape Sasha’s watchful eye and relax in an empty room.
“I promise I won’t even cross paths with the Grey heir. So stop worrying, okay?”
“Do you even know what Armin Grey looks like?”
Sasha asked, incredulous at my plan to avoid someone I’d never seen.
I recalled the rumors I’d heard and answered,
“Silver hair and purple eyes. A handsome man whose radiance can be seen from 10km away.”
“Silver hair…? Is that right? It sounds familiar, but who describes someone like that?”
“At gatherings, there are always young ladies talking about the Grey heir. You come up as a topic sometimes too.
“Ugh.”
“What was it again? A smile like sunlight, and warm earthy hair, or something like that.”
“Stop. I don’t want to know.”
“And they say they want to be held by you.”
“I said I don’t want to know.”
“Why? There’s more.”
The part about wanting to be held was a complete lie. Shy young ladies wouldn’t say such things.
Sasha already knew I was joking. He looked at me as I giggled, with a pitiful expression.
“How are you ever going to get married, really.”
“You and our parents are the ones pushing me to find a husband, even though it seems impossible.”
“If you can’t find one, you’ll become the wife of a merchant within a year.”
“Ugh, I really hate that idea.”
“You’ll have to call Andre ‘darling’.”
“Ah! Stop it!”
Both of us, wounded, finally fell silent. The sound of the carriage wheels clicking rhythmically filled the air. Looking out the window, the palace was drawing closer.
