I have no idea how my life ended up like this.
Just half a year ago, I had believed that my sole duty, refinement, and virtue in life was to lounge around the house, warm and well-fed, without a single care in the world.
“…For these reasons, I hereby bestow upon Lady Vivian Roha the Second-Class Medal of Honor.”
And yet, here I was—kneeling on one knee just two steps below the Emperor’s throne, dressed in an extravagant gown, with a medal so heavy it felt like a boulder weighing down my chest.
From afar, I could see my mother dabbing at her tears while my father held her, overcome with emotion.
‘Ha… I used to wonder what went through the minds of students who got awards from the principal back in school. Now I finally understand.’
And if I had to sum up my experience? Surprisingly, I felt nothing.
I figured that if the Emperor caught me lost in thought, I might be in trouble, so I focused my gaze blankly on the intricate patterns of the wall behind his throne, trying to appear as vacant as possible.
“How clever and commendable of such a young lady. I had my eye on Viscount Roha’s remarkable son, but I did not expect his daughter to be just as exceptional. You are twins, are you not?”
The man before me looked exactly like an emperor should—handsome, regal, and exuding authority. He regarded me with keen interest.
“Your Majesty’s praise is too generous.”
Before the ceremony, Sasha had drilled this into my head over and over again: No matter what the Emperor says, always respond with, ‘Your praise is too generous.’
So I became a broken record, a parrot repeating the same phrase over and over again. Yet, the Emperor seemed amused, chuckling heartily as he patted my shoulder.
“Too generous? Lowering the literacy rate in the capital is an achievement that deserves no less praise.”
“Ah, well… Your praise is too generous.”
“What a humble young lady! Haha!”
After enduring at least ten shoulder pats, I was finally allowed to step down from the platform.
Not too long ago, this type of banquet would have been just a blurry backdrop to my existence. I likely would have skipped attending altogether.
But now?
Now, wherever I moved, dozens of eyes followed me.
Feeling the weight of their gazes bore into my back, I hurried toward my parents, eager to escape the spotlight.
“Well, well.”
A figure suddenly blocked my path.
At that moment, the murmur of the surrounding crowd fell into complete silence. Given who it was, their reaction was understandable. But I wasn’t particularly nervous.
After all, besides my family, there were no other adults I was more familiar with than him and the Duchess.
“Had I known you were up to something so remarkable, I would have lost even more money to you at the table.”
“Oh, no, Your Grace. What you gave was already more than enough. I still have plenty left in the bank!”
“Vivian, you truly are full of surprises.”
“Please, Duchess, don’t say that. This all happened because the novel was so good. All I did was introduce it, that’s all.”
Embarrassed by their praise, I instinctively scratched at my head, messing up the meticulous styling Michelle had worked so hard on.
“Duke, Duchess.”
At that moment, my parents approached, having noticed I was caught in conversation with the ducal couple.
I could feel the intense stares of the nobles around us.
Everyone was dying to know the truth behind the rumors shaking high society.
“Viscount! You must be so proud. To have your daughter awarded such a prestigious medal—and the first woman in history to receive it!”
“I was just as shocked as you are.”
“Viscountess, I’m truly envious. I wish I had a daughter like yours. These days, there’s no one in this country luckier than you.”
Standing there, I found myself drowning in yet another wave of praise from the Duke and Duchess. If lifting someone up was an art, they were now gilding me with gold. Feeling embarrassed, I fixed my gaze on the distant mountains.
“Oh, not at all. It’s only because Your Graces have been so kind to our Vivi.”
“Yes, exactly. Before she met young Lord Grey, do you know how much of a worry she was? She refused to leave the house, hated socializing to the extreme—truly, it was concerning.”
Wasn’t there a saying? The child you adore gets a scolding, while the troublemaker gets extra sweets.
The more the Duke and Duchess praised me, the more my parents downplayed my achievements.
But honestly? Their words weren’t convincing in the slightest. Their pride in me was practically overflowing, so much so that I could almost see it dripping from their expressions.
“Oh, no, really, it was nothing. If anything, rather, it’s because you agreed with me… If it weren’t for the Duchess, I wouldn’t have even started in the first place.”
“Oh, nonsense! This was all your doing, my dear.”
The Duchess swiftly dismissed my attempt to share the credit and then—without hesitation—took my hands in hers.
The esteemed Duchess Grey was famous for rarely appearing at social events, known for her reserved nature and selective relationships.
To see such an untouchable figure openly expressing warmth toward a mere viscount’s daughter?
The reaction was immediate. I could hear sharp intakes of breath from all directions as the gathered nobles gawked in astonishment.
“Now, Vivi. Oh, look, Armin is right over there. Why don’t you go and have a chat?”
Adults need to have their private discussions, after all.
With a gentle yet firm press on my shoulder, the Duchess redirected me toward a lively crowd—right at its center stood Armin.
Though visibly exhausted from the swarm of people around him, it seemed he’d been watching this way for some time.
The moment our eyes met, his lips moved slightly—‘I’ll come to you.’
I gave a small nod.
And as soon as my parents and the ducal couple disappeared, the crowd around me descended like a flock of birds.
Everyone wanted to talk to the main character of tonight’s banquet.
But I, with the skill honed over a lifetime, effortlessly slipped away with the perfect excuse—a headache.
After all, the only thing I had ever truly mastered was the art of avoidance—and I wasn’t about to let that talent go to waste.
* * *
A private space like the balcony is not easy to enter unless one has a close relationship with the person already occupying it.
Standing alone by the railing, I gazed down at the medal hanging from my collar.
Its weight pulled at the fabric, causing it to sag slightly. It was nothing more than a fancy piece of jewelry made of gold and gemstones, yet it was enough to change people’s attitudes in an instant.
I heard the balcony door open.
Just from the sound of the footsteps, I knew exactly who had come looking for me.
“A medal, huh.”
I let out a deep sigh.
Honestly, it would have been better if Sasha or Armin had received something like this instead.
“This will go down as an eternal honor for your family. They’ll probably paint a massive portrait of you and hang it at the grand staircase of the viscount’s estate for the next hundred, maybe two hundred years.”
Armin chuckled as he teased me, fully aware of exactly what I hated the most.
Ugh. Just imagining my descendants proudly showing off my medal-wearing portrait centuries later made a shiver run down my spine. I physically recoiled.
Seeing my reaction, Armin quickly took off his coat and draped it over me.
He must have thought I was shivering from the cold.
A familiar earthy, woodsy scent from his coat filled my senses.
“Everyone’s being ridiculous. I’m not the one who accomplished this—it was you, Armin.”
I let out another sigh.
To be precise, all I did was come up with the initial idea. The one who actually made it happen, who truly deserved this recognition, was Armin.
But he simply responded with an indifferent shrug.
“Does it matter who gets the medal?”
“Of course, it does. I never wanted to bring honor to my family.”
“I like that it’s you who got it.”
His voice, low and tinged with amusement, carried a warmth that had once been unimaginable when we first met.
I stared at him.
Was he truly so wealthy, so privileged, that even something as significant as this didn’t interest him?
Even I, who rarely cared about status or recognition, understood what an incredible honor this medal was.
“You really are so greedy for nothing, Armin. Is it just because you already have too much?”
“Me?”
He let out a small laugh, leaning against the railing.
As he scratched his head, a few stray hairs stuck out, and I instinctively reached out to smooth them down.
“You really don’t know, Vivi.”
I couldn’t even remember when he had started calling me Vivi so casually.
It was hard to believe that just a year ago, we were complete strangers.
Now, we were so close that he called me by an affectionate nickname, and I didn’t even hesitate to drop formalities with him.
“I’m actually a very greedy person.”
“Only about pointless things.”
I chuckled along with him.
It reminded me of when we had first met. Looking back now, it was so absurd that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
“Instead of wasting your greed on things like plain, cheap sword scabbard straps, why don’t you desire something like this instead?”
“It’s fine.”
“What is?”
“Because that means more to me.”
I leaned against the railing alongside Armin. It had already been three months since the first snowfall.
Winter is nearly over now. Though the weather had warmed up much faster than usual, making the temperatures higher than in previous years, there was still a lingering chill in the air.
However, the story I was about to tell was one that took place in the midst of that snowy winter.
In other words, to explain how I ended up receiving this heavy medal, weighing down one side of my shoulder, I needed to turn back time three months and start from the beginning.
