I stared at him intently.
The image of him constantly protecting me lingered in my mind.
I was so glad to see him, yet I felt guilty since we had already severed ties. A flood of emotions overwhelmed me, and now that it was just the two of us, I found myself unable to speak.
Kayan furrowed his brows slightly and asked in a low voice,
“…Even if this is within the Imperial Palace, where is your escort? Why are you here alone?”
“I just… ran away.”
I smiled bashfully as I stood before him. In that instant, it felt like I had returned to my childhood.
“I haven’t shown my skills much since arriving at the palace, but shaking off a pursuit like this is easy for me. You should know that well.”
Even though I spoke to him in a friendly tone, meeting his gaze, Kayan remained expressionless.
He no longer spoke to me casually or laughed playfully as he used to.
Well, of course, this situation was bound to be awkward. After all, this was the first time we were meeting face-to-face since I declared our friendship over a year ago.
It must be bewildering for him from start to finish, yet he refrained from asking any more questions and simply bowed his head to me.
“Thank you for your help, Princess. Then, I shall take my leave.”
It was a clear sign he didn’t intend to engage in further conversation.
“…I didn’t help you!”
I clasped my hands behind my back and stepped closer to him. Tilting my head slightly upward, I met his gaze.
There was a significant height difference between us, so I had to do this to look him in the eye while he bowed his head.
“I just… pointed it out. In the end, you were the one who made the servant apologize and even forgave him. And besides, this is the right path if you’re heading to see His Majesty.”
Kayan avoided my gaze, tilting his head to the side and bowing again.
“I see. Thank you for your guidance, Princess. Then, I shall take my leave.”
Once again, it was clear he didn’t want to continue the conversation. Saying “thank you” usually implied that.
“Waaait. Just talk to me for a moment.”
I quickly scurried to the same direction he was headed, positioning myself to meet his gaze again.
Taking a deep breath, I continued,
“I’m sorry for what happened a year ago. I truly apologize.”
These were words I hadn’t been able to say in my past life.
“It’s not that I really wanted to stop being friends with you. It’s just… Simon told me that you wanted to distance yourself from me.”
Kayan’s sunset-colored eyes gazed at me quietly.
I spoke fervently.
“At the time, Simon said you disliked me. That you couldn’t show it openly because I’m a princess, but deep down, you did.”
“…”
“He also said you were desperate to leave the palace, but since you were ordered to help me adjust, you couldn’t say anything about wanting to leave first…”
As he remained silent, I quickly added,
“So he said that if I officially ended our friendship, you’d finally be free to return to the North.”
“…”
“I was new to the palace, and… everyone kept saying I didn’t know anything because I grew up in the North. So I had no choice but to listen to others. My brother also told me to follow whatever Simon said.”
As I recalled those times, I realized I had my share of things to say as well.
“To be honest, you did keep your distance from me back then… You can’t deny that, right? You didn’t treat me like you used to, and you were always gloomy…”
It wasn’t until years later that I learned it wasn’t because “you disliked me.”
But back then, I understood how it must have felt for Kayan. The palace was unfamiliar to him, too, and suddenly, he was ordered to serve a close friend.
It couldn’t have been like old times, running and playing together in the North.
It was simply a case of me being short-sighted back then.
I acknowledged it calmly.
“It was my childish misunderstanding, but… in the end, I hurt you. It was my fault.”
Then I quickly added,
“Of course, Simon’s the worst. Back then, I was just too young, immature, and clumsy, but I wasn’t malicious. Please understand that.”
Kayan stared at me silently with an unreadable expression. Then, in a low voice, he replied without any change in his expression,
“I see. Thank you for explaining, Princess. Then, I shall take my leave.”
In the end, it still meant he didn’t want to talk anymore.
His polite, formal language and precise movements made it clear: no matter what I said, things wouldn’t go back to how they were before.
‘I suppose so.’
I stared at the beautiful boy’s face and thought to myself.
‘If it were me… it’d be hard to open my heart again, too.’
We’d been the closest of friends for twelve years, but just days after arriving at the imperial palace, I coldly abandoned him.
All because of a ridiculous misunderstanding over a harmless joke he casually made, the same kind we used to laugh about back in the North.
“How dare someone like you pull such a prank on the princess? How utterly unrefined!”
Back then, I hadn’t defended him from the harsh criticisms of others. I merely turned my head away and told him,
“Kayan, that was too much. I think… we should end our friendship. I’d like you to return to the North immediately.”
For a young Kayan, it must have been utterly bewildering. And now, a year later, I suddenly show up out of nowhere, asking to be friends again?
Honestly, the fact that he didn’t sarcastically say, “Oh, I see. Thank you for your whimsy, Princess. Now, I’ll be on my way,” was a miracle in itself.
If he’d smiled and said, “Sure!” right then, that would have been strange. That wouldn’t be a friend—it’d be a pushover.
‘Though, in my past life, he was the pushover who silently watched over me even after being treated like that.’
Taking a deep breath, I pleaded sincerely.
“…I don’t ever want to drift apart from you again. I want us to stay best friends like we used to.”
“Yes. I appreciate your kindness, Princess.”
“I’ll work to earn back your trust. I’ll stay by your side.”
“Yes. I appreciate your efforts, Princess.”
“I won’t ask you to come to me. I’ll come to you myself.”
“Yes. I appreciate your consideration, Princess.”
What on earth? What was with this impenetrable wall?
I widened my eyes in amazement.
“Wow… This is amazing!”
Kayan narrowed his eyes slightly at my reaction.
“What?”
“I’ve finally solved a long-standing mystery! This is why none of the girls in the North ever got close to you!”
“…What?”
“Back then, all the girls our age said you were intimidating.”
I explained passionately,
“They all wanted to befriend you because of your good looks, but your walls were just too thick. They said they couldn’t get near you no matter what. I never understood that.”
I couldn’t figure out why they found Kayan so difficult to approach!
“This is it. This was the reason.”
I finally understood the feeling they’d described so vividly.
“But now I know why. Learning and understanding something new is a good thing, right? That’s why I’m happy.”
Clapping my hands once, I smiled brightly.
“Now my understanding of you has deepened. In the long run, that’s a really good thing.”
Kayan sighed, exhaling as if in disbelief.
“You truly haven’t changed at all, Princess.”
“What hasn’t changed?”
Kayan slowly composed his expression and answered calmly,
“My apologies. That was inappropriate of me. Congratulations on your newfound realization, Princess.”
What a truly formidable wall he had built.
But I was a woman who had come back in time. I had already overcome greater challenges. Surely, I could break through this wall eventually.
“Well then, I’ll take my leave. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors, Princess.”
“Luck? What kind of luck?”
“Oh, just that you achieve whatever dreams you have…”
“My dream is to be your full-time friend.”
“…”
“So…”
With a confident gaze, I declared,
“I will, without fail, by any means necessary, come back to you.”
Then I held out my pinky finger.
“Promise me.”
□ ■ □ ■ □
If you want to support the translation and the translator, Please buy a coffee~ ( ＾ω＾ )
