Ding Shengguang was so scared that he almost dropped his cigarette.
Even for an experienced person like him, taking down a decent person in just one night was a huge challenge, let alone for He Xian.
Moreover, he had no idea about the other party’s background. Was he straight or gay? Was he promiscuous or loyal? He seemed introverted and quiet, but what if he turned out to be a lunatic? If the hookup failed and He Xian ended up hurting him, Ding Shengguang would be in deep trouble. The more Ding Shengguang thought about it, the more terrified he became, realizing that his provocative words may have gone too far.
“No, why does it have to be just one night? You’d better consider your abilities…” Ding Shengguang’s words of discouragement sounded more like a provocation.
Having only had a little to drink, He Xian was only slightly tipsy as he smiled.
Ding Shengguang nervously cautioned, “Be sure to take safety precautions, you know, safety first.”
He Xian felt helpless and waved his hand at him. “I do have that basic common sense. Alright, don’t be a wet blanket.”
He was feeling worn out and wanted to relax.
The more serious one has to regard love, the greater the hurt one would suffer in the end. He Xian had already exhausted his lifetime’s worth of earnestness.
Near the company, He Xian caught up with Lin Sitao.
Lin Sitao had just seen off Zhou Xu and was standing by the roadside, waiting for the traffic light to turn green so he could take the subway back. With the recent shortage of buses and cars, he didn’t want to trouble the driver to take a detour after dropping off Zhou Xu and waste even more time stuck in traffic during rush hour.
He Xian instructed his driver to pull over in front of Lin Sitao.
He Xian rolled down the car window and said, “Get in, I’ll give you a ride.”
Lin Sitao’s eyes lit up with a mix of surprise and joy. He couldn’t help but break into a smile.
He Xian found it quite endearing that despite his position and background being well-known within the company, young people still enjoyed the opportunity to interact with him.
“Little Lin?” he asked.
“Lin Sitao. ‘Sitao’ as in contemplation, ‘Lin’ as in the sound of waves,” Lin Sitao replied.
“How long have you been working here?” He Xian asked.
“Four years,” he answered.
“Have you been working under Teacher Zhou the whole time?” He Xian inquired.
“Yes,” Lin Sitao replied.
As He Xian chatted with Lin Sitao, he learned about his background and experience but didn’t ask where he lived or where he needed to be taken. Interestingly, Lin Sitao didn’t ask those questions either.
He Xian found it intriguing.
After almost 20 minutes of driving, Lin Sitao seemed to realize that something was off and looked anxiously out the window.
“Mr. He, I…”
He Xian calmly explained, “There’s a bar I like, and I’ve arranged to meet some friends there tonight. There’s a designer I want to introduce you to.”
The bar was his favorite place, but of course, he didn’t have any friends there, nor any designers.
Lin Sitao understood this as soon as he entered the bar. Only He Xian and he were there.
It was a quiet bar with a splendid atmosphere, and because it was a weekday, there weren’t many customers inside. He Xian and him sat side by side at the bar and didn’t mention anything about work.
In a calm and low voice, he introduced him to the different types of alcohol, their flavors, and how to drink them.
Lin Sitao felt that He Xian was hitting on him.
‘Wait, stay calm.’ He thought. Was He Xian really hitting on him?
He had misunderstood He Xian’s feelings for him before; he couldn’t afford to make the same mistake again.
“Don’t drink too fast,” He Xian reminded him.
Lin Sitao was on edge. He had already consumed most of his drink within a short period after sitting down for quite some time.
He tentatively asked, “Mr. He, your friends haven’t come yet?”
He Xian smiled and said, “They’re not coming.”
Lin Sitao asked, “Don’t you want to call and ask?”
He Xian nearly burst out laughing. He stared at Lin Sitao with an expression that said “Really?” and said, “No need. I just remembered that I got the date wrong. It’s just the two of us today.”
Lin Sitao blinked. He Xian was hitting on him, there was no doubt about it!
He buried his head and cursed the small size of the glass, which couldn’t hide his embarrassment. He silently froze for 60 seconds.
“If you think it’s too boring with just the two of us, I can call some other people to come over,” He Xian offered.
“No!” Lin Sitao suddenly lifted his head.
He Xian couldn’t help but laugh. He thought Lin Sitao was really cute. With all the recent troubles at home, he hadn’t been this happy in a long time.
Lin Sitao looked at He Xian’s slightly tipsy appearance and thought he looked extremely handsome. Now was the perfect time to tell He Xian about the past nine years. But he didn’t want to say it. Maybe it didn’t need to be said now, or ever. He wanted He Xian to think that everything was just a coincidence, that He Xian had found him first, that he was the one who wanted him.
In the end, Lin Sitao didn’t say anything. It was 10 o’clock and the resident singer had finished two English songs. They listened to the songs, and then He Xian picked up his bag and said, “Let’s go. I’ve had too much to drink. Can you send me home?”
Lin Sitao helped him hail a cab and accompanied him into the car.
During the ride, He Xian closed his eyes and rested, while Lin Sitao sat beside him in the back seat, observing his expression. “Mr. He, are you feeling okay?” he asked.
He Xian didn’t respond, so Lin Sitao leaned closer. He unexpectedly held Lin Sitao’s hand, who didn’t pull away and just became completely weak. Fortunately, they quickly got off the cab, and He Xian didn’t make any further moves. But by then, Lin Sitao had already lost his ability to speak.
It was certainly different from the temporary dormitory near the construction site back then. Lin Sitao could feel the vibrant atmosphere everywhere as soon as he stood at the entrance – slippers scattered around, and scarves draped over the handrails of the stairs. In the meantime, He Xian deftly turned on the electrical appliances. This apartment must be one of He Xian’s own homes or at least one of his own properties.
The living room was spacious, with two large and beautiful bay windows facing south. There was a flower vase on the windowsill, containing the flowers that He Xian had held in his arms on that day. Lin Sitao couldn’t help but smile and greeted it in his heart, ‘It’s great that you weren’t given to someone else.’
There were books everywhere below the windows. The background wall of the television was also made into a huge bookshelf, with the TV embedded in the middle.
He brought the tea set from the dining room, while Lin Sitao was standing in front of the bookshelf, mesmerized. In addition to books related to engineering and construction, there were also several on history, art, novels, and non-fiction literature, covering a wide range of topics.
“Is Mr. He interested in sociology?” Lin Sitao asked, noticing the numerous sociology books on the bookshelf.
He didn’t give a direct answer and instead said, “I didn’t realize I had collected so many.” He then invited Lin Sitao to have some tea.
“Do you like this bookshelf?” He couldn’t help but chuckle at Lin Sitao’s gaze, which seemed unable to leave the bookshelf.
Lin Sitao nodded, “It’s really… nice.”
He himself lived in a small place and didn’t have the space to store many books.
He spoke softly, “Then you must visit my study.” He stood up and Lin Sitao followed behind him. As they went upstairs, He Xian held Lin Sitao’s hand – as if he was a child – fearing he would fall. It was so natural and gentle.
Lin Sitao could only gaze lovingly at He Xian’s wrist. He felt like he was in heaven now. The surroundings were warm and bright, filled with the person and things he loved.
The study on the second floor was even better. There was a work desk for He Xian to use during work hours, as well as a sofa for relaxation. The sofa was a double sofa, big enough for two people to sit and read or chat together.
He glanced at the sofa and pushed Lin Sitao towards the desk.
Lin Sitao looked up at him.
He Xian didn’t miss that look in his eyes. He hugged Lin Sitao’s waist and kissed his lips.
For him, it was a meaningless kiss. It was purely a kiss for pleasure. No expectations, no vows, just a kiss.
Lin Sitao, on the other hand, slipped down, but He Xian caught him. In the end, the two held each other tightly.
“Does it feel good?” He Xian whispered in his ear.
Lin Sitao couldn’t say anything, he could only nod. He was already hard.
He Xian began to unbuckle his belt.
“Mr. He, are you currently single?” he murmured. He just needed to confirm this.
He Xian’s hand paused and he said, “Yes.”
He stopped, but still held onto Lin Sitao, saying, “I want to make things clear beforehand.”
“What?” Lin Sitao saw a crack in the situation.
He Xian explained, “Tonight’s events don’t represent anything. They don’t represent any changes in our relationship. It also doesn’t mean that I will treat you differently. This has nothing to do with emotions.”
Lin Sitao understood that He Xian only wanted a one-night stand. He weakly grasped He Xian’s arm and let it fall.
He Xian also let go of him.
Lin Sitao stood there in a daze, feeling like the bright lights were blinding him.
— He was just an easy target for a one-night stand.
“If you don’t agree, you can leave now…” He Xian’s voice sounded distant.
“I’m leaving, Mr. He. Goodbye,” Lin Sitao said calmly.
He walked out of the apartment toward the roadside. As the snow started to fall again in the middle of the night, Lin Sitao finally couldn’t hold back and sat on the side of the road, crying.
He wasn’t crying for himself today, but for himself nine years ago and in the nine years since then. He had loved for so long, only to realize that the man he had been imagining all this time didn’t actually exist.
