There were whispers in the living room, sounding intimate and low.
Lin Sitao lay on the bed, unable to move.
After an unknown period, he heard movements from outside. The sound of things being packed up, and finally the sound of the door closing. It was quiet outside. He realized that He Xian and Song You had left.
He Xian and Song You went downstairs one after the other. Song You had lost a lot of weight, and had just cried until he was out of breath. He was walking unsteadily. He Xian didn’t say a word and led him through the parking lot to find his own car.
He opened the car door and Song You obediently got in.
“He Xian,” he said with a choked voice, “we can solve this together.”
He Xian started the car. “Which hotel are you staying in? I’ll take you back.”
Song You looked out the car window. He knew he was beautiful, knew he was still good-looking even when angry and crying, and knew which angles made him look the most appealing. He used this as his weapon, along with a few tricks, and was able to always win against He Xian.
“I’m hungry!” he suddenly said in a fit of pique.
He Xian almost reflexively asked him, “What do you want to eat?”
Song You felt slightly relieved.
He could only hope that He Xian still couldn’t let go of him emotionally. His only chance now was to play the emotional card. After being with He Xian for nearly five years, he knew his personality very well – once He Xian made a rational decision, he wouldn’t turn back. But when it came to emotions, it was the hardest thing to judge with reason, and it was hard to say whether he would break it off or not.
They stopped at a Cantonese restaurant. It was already past 11 pm and the restaurant was almost about to close, with only a few diners left. The young waiters were chatting and laughing softly in the back.
Song You was eating seafood congee while He Xian went out to make a phone call.
Making a phone call was just an excuse, as He Xian didn’t want to sit there facing Song You. In the past, late-night snacks at small restaurants used to be warm memories. But now, the thought of it was unbearable.
After a quarter of an hour, He Xian finally returned. Song You had only taken a few bites of the congee and sat there in a daze.
“Don’t waste food,” He Xian said. When he was with Song You, he often ate the leftovers from his meals.
Song You spoke softly. “Can you give me another chance? Can you give us another chance?”
He Xian fell silent for a moment before saying, “No.”
He glanced at Song You and asked, “Didn’t you just start working at the TV station?”
Song You blushed and remained silent.
He Xian stared at him and then spoke softly, “You’ve finished your probation period at work and have settled down. Anyway… since things have come to this, we might as well look forward. I don’t want to lose you. I really can’t bear to leave you.”
But he was completely disappointed with him.
“You can’t always try to be clever and play games with everything, switching sides whenever it suits you. You promised my mother that you would keep your word – we shouldn’t see each other again.”
He Xian was merciless and straightforward, and Song You received it for the first time.
Before this, He Xian’s mother, Zhou Qin, had approached Song You with generous conditions, asking him to break up with He Xian. Song You stayed in Beijing because he was desperate to officially appear on television and missed the opportunity that was handed to him on a silver platter. He was really regretful.
He originally thought that He Xian and his mother were not close and that this matter would at most cause a fuss that he could control. However, he did not expect that after He Xian found out, he directly demanded a breakup with a firm attitude.
Only at this moment did Song You wake up and realize that everything was over. His previous thoughts of “nothing will happen” and “He Xian won’t really make up his mind to break up with me” were all delusions of his.
He finally felt the feeling of breaking up, but he couldn’t cry.
When they came out of the restaurant, He Xian offered to drive him home. Song You just stood on the roadside. Since it was already impossible to salvage the situation, he didn’t need to beg He Xian anymore. The sooner this play ended, the better.
“No need to send me, I’ll take a taxi back.” He stood three steps away from He Xian. It was no longer the distance between lovers.
“Actually, I often wonder, did you really love me?” He turned his head to look at He Xian.
He Xian just stared at him and didn’t answer. The night wind was blowing, and Song You’s semi-long hair was a bit messy yet still pretty. He Xian had to exert a lot of effort to restrain himself from walking over and touching his hair and tidying it.
“Go back and accompany your new lover!” The taxi arrived, and Song You opened the car door. “But he’s so small and ugly. When did you develop such a taste?”
He slammed the door and left He Xian standing alone on the roadside, watching the taxi leave. The night seemed endless.
When Lin Sitao opened his eyes, he realized that he had kept the same position all night and his hands were sore from sleeping.
He got up quickly and found the room empty, with him still all alone. It was still early, just after six o’clock, and the cicadas had already started singing.
Thinking that he would be able to go home soon today, yesterday’s events felt like a dream, and the sense of loss had mostly already been cleared away.
After packing his luggage and tidying up the room, Lin Sitao went downstairs early to wait for Mr. Zheng.
On the way to the train station, Mr. Zheng chatted with Lin Sitao along the way.
Mr. Zheng praised He Xian endlessly and expressed that Lin Sitao was lucky to be taken care of by him.
Lin Sitao didn’t quite understand. He had heard from Wu Jianghai before that He Xian came from a good family, but he hadn’t looked into it closely.
“Haha, you don’t know?” said Zheng Shifu. “Do you know who his family is?”
Lin Sitao honestly replied, “I don’t know.”
Mr. Zheng said, “His grandfather is He Zhongcheng. He’s the eldest son and the eldest grandson of the He family.”
“Is he?” Lin Sitao replied with a hint of skepticism in his tone. He couldn’t help but wonder if being born into a wealthy and influential family automatically made someone great.
But he didn’t say that out loud. He simply smiled politely and continued chatting with the driver for the rest of the journey.
Mr. Zheng said, “Just like ordinary bosses, we rush around in the company and on the construction site. But people like us who know how to spot quality can really talk big. Those who don’t know how to spot quality are just laughed at for being foolish.”
Lin Sitao laughed at this.
As he sat on the train, he reminisced about all the things he had seen and heard from He Xian. It was the perfect time for him to indulge in random thoughts.
More than a month later, school started again. Lin Sitao sat quietly at his old desk, studying his textbooks as if his world had never been turned upside down.
One week into the new school year, their homeroom teacher, Old Zhang, told him some good news.
There was a successful alumni of their school who donated money to establish a scholarship grant, part of which was dedicated to supporting impoverished students. Lin Sitao was an excellent candidate for the scholarship.
“Hmm, the Zhou Qin Scholarship…” Xu Dan read through the application materials as Lin Sitao diligently filled out the form.
“So you just turn in the form and you get money? Is it really that good?” Xu Dan seemed skeptical.
Lin Sitao replied, “Perhaps the adults who hope for us to pursue education are more than you think.”
Xu Dan chuckled, “Don’t be silly. Even my dad doesn’t want me to go to college.”
But watching Lin Sitao taking the application seriously wasn’t entertaining enough for her. Besides, getting money was always a good thing. Lin Sitao showed her the application requirements, and after reading through them for a while, Xu Dan said hesitantly, “Maybe I should talk to Old Zhang and try to apply for it too…”
Lin Sitao didn’t look up, but he smiled.
Xu Dan studied him and said in disbelief, “I feel like something has changed about you. Going out was really good for you.”
Lin Sitao told her many stories about his part-time job, but he only briefly mentioned He Xian without going into detail. That was his own secret.
In September 2005, Lin Sitao took another train ride and embarked on an even longer journey, heading straight for Beijing.
He carried his luggage alone, braving the scorching sun as he entered the campus.
A helpful senior quickly assisted him with the enrollment procedures. “Lin Sitao, welcome to the Department of Civil Engineering.”
The future seemed so bright.
