Until The Real One Shows Up​

The nightmare was also his chronic disease.

He had experienced many of them, but they had been relatively quiet for years. 

Of course, right after the death of the Emperor and Empress, these nightmares had tortured him terribly for a while. However, after ascending to the throne as the new emperor and dealing with numerous political issues, he gradually lost the energy to dwell on those past events.

Additionally, the constant troubles caused by the Empress played a role in distracting him. But most importantly, his nephew Louis, who resembled his late brother, had left the capital and was recuperating on Schweig Island.

If Louis had stayed at the palace, he would have had nightmares every night. So, he sometimes felt relieved that Louis wasn’t there. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was true, despite his love for the child.

“You’ve been fine for a while, and then…” Colton murmured in a troubled voice. “Because of Prince Louis’ return…”

“Colton,” Wilhelm interrupted sternly. “Don’t say that.”

“…I apologize,” Colton replied, looking worried.

Wilhelm was extremely averse to hearing anything negative about Louis, a fact he was more aware of than anyone else.

Nevertheless, as Colton searched for the cause of his lord’s recent nightmare, he made the mistake without realizing it. Wilhelm, aware of the situation, remained silent for a moment before speaking.

“I’m going for a walk. I’ll go alone, so don’t follow me.”

Normally, Colton would have insisted it was dangerous, especially now with Louis back. But this time, he nodded silently. There were guards anyway; if they stayed unnoticed, it would be enough. Colton understood that his lord, having endured a terrible time, needed time alone to calm down.

~~~~

The air on the spring night was cold but not chilling. 

As Wilhelm stepped outside without a coat, the cold air enveloped his body. A brisk wind blew through his thin clothes, and it helped to soothe his agitated mind. Wilhelm found the cold wind refreshing.

As he looked around, he noticed it was dark everywhere. He didn’t have a lamp since he had come out without any attendants, but he navigated the familiar terrain easily. 

However, his legs were trembling. 

No one, not even he, noticed, but they definitely were.

He had been walking in the dark for quite some time when a bright light appeared before him. Wilhelm saw it and stopped involuntarily. As the light drew closer, becoming even more vivid, Wilhelm focused his gaze intently on it.

Someone was approaching—a woman in a dazzling golden dress, holding a lamp. As she drew nearer, Wilhelm saw her face, which appeared very happy to him. A smile brighter than the lamp illuminated her lips.

“Ah…”

It was Anastasia. She didn’t seem to have noticed him yet, and he preferred it that way. He wasn’t in the mood to run into anyone now.

“What?”

But the wind blew, and despite his wishes, Anastasia spotted him.

“Your Majesty?”

Her voice called out to him. Anastasia approached to confirm it was really him. Captivated by an unknown emotion, Wilhelm’s heart began to beat faster.

Anastasia’s lips formed a slightly deeper smile as she confirmed that it was indeed Wilhelm.

“Oh, I was right.”

Thud.

The moment Wilhelm recognized her and saw her face, radiant with a smile as bright as the sun, he felt as though a heavy weight had landed on his heart. His heartbeat became so intense that it felt like his heart was pounding against a hard surface.

Throughout the dream and upon waking up, his heart had been persistently in this agitated state, but this time it felt distinctly different from before.

“Did you come out without an attendant? It’s dangerous…” Anastasia, unaware that she hadn’t even brought one of her own attendants, drew closer to Wilhelm, speaking involuntarily. 

But as she approached, ready to inspect his face closely, she abruptly stopped.

‘Pale.’

Observing Wilhelm’s white face, Anastasia quickly grasped the situation.

‘Did you have another nightmare?’

He had often been like this before her arrival—after a nightmare, he would seek solace in the cold outdoors. In winter, Anastasia often fretted over the risk of him catching a cold.

“…Are you out for a walk?”

Wilhelm silently nodded in response to Anastasia’s query. It was disheartening to see his complexion devoid of color, like a blank canvas.

Anastasia longed to comfort him, to empathize and alleviate his guilt. 

But she couldn’t.

The realization sparked anger within her for the first time. Even in her role as his Empress, the inability to express her feelings for him felt like a curse. For the second time since her return, the prospect of going back was daunting. It was agonizing to see the man she loved struggling, unable to offer him comfort with a simple embrace or soothing touch.

“…Then.”

Suppressing her emotions and summoning her resolve, Anastasia clutched the skirts of her dress.

“I’ll be on my way.”

Her voice trembled slightly, reflecting the intensity of the emotions swirling within her. As she started to pass Wilhelm, their bodies brushing against each other, he suddenly grabbed hold of her dress sleeve.

“Ah…!”

Surprised by the sudden gesture, Anastasia looked back at Wilhelm. His face, now seen from such close proximity, appeared even more troubled than before. The sight weighed heavily on her heart once more.

“Wait a minute….”

“…”

“It’s too dark.”

He went on with difficulty.

“I can’t go back to the Central Palace.”

“…”

“Guide me.”

It was a request that sounded almost childlike. But it was also a lie. Anastasia knew that Wilhelm, having been born and raised in the Imperial Palace, could navigate its geography with ease, even in the dark. If he had made it this far without a lamp, he would certainly know the way back.

So, this was just an excuse. A way to stay close to him.

“…I see.”

Yet Anastasia was willing to go along with it. 

Everything would be fine. She didn’t voice her intention to stay by his side first.

With a more relaxed mind, Anastasia guided Wilhelm.

“This way leads to the Central Palace.”

“…”

On the journey back, Wilhelm remained silent, and Anastasia followed suit. She understood that he just needed someone today to accompany him through this darkness.

But that was fine. She was there with him.

“You…”

It was Wilhelm who broke the silence first. Anastasia turned to look at him.

“You were on your way from the Imperial Palace.”

Anastasia almost burst into laughter at his words. How could someone who navigated the palace’s geography so swiftly in the darkness claim not to know the way back to the Central Palace?

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Anastasia replied, struggling to contain her amusement. “I’m on my way from the Imperial Palace.”

“You didn’t get kicked out this time, did you?”

“What? No, of course not,” Anastasia replied, momentarily indignant as she boasted about her accomplishments. “Would it surprise you to know? I’ve just returned after becoming friends with the Prince.”

“Friends?” Wilhelm questioned incredulously. Anastasia nodded.

“Yes, friends. Now, all that’s left is to grow closer to the Prince.”

“How? You were expelled from the Imperial Palace until just yesterday.”

“Because I went armed with my secret weapon. It’s irresistible.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a secret.”

“…”

Wilhelm frowned and scrutinized Anastasia, but she smiled as if she had no fear at all.

“If you’re curious, pay a visit to the Imperial Palace.”

Silence followed.

“Have you never been there before?”

That was it. Wilhelm resumed looking ahead without responding.

Anastasia spoke up again, her gaze still fixed on him.

“Are you afraid?”

It was a blunt question, but it hit the mark. Though abstract, Wilhelm understood its full implication. He flinched for a moment and remained silent, prompting Anastasia to stay quiet as well.

“…yes.”

It was much later when the response finally came. Anastasia turned towards him slowly, still without a word.

At first glance, his eyes appeared vacant, but Anastasia discerned the multitude of complex emotions concealed within them. The longing to see his beloved nephew clashed with the fear of potential rejection and hatred from the same nephew. 

And underlying it all was a profound sense of guilt.

“I’m scared.”

The simple admission from Wilhelm struck Anastasia’s heart with a sharpness more piercing than any awl.