Upon my question, Cedric flinched slightly and soon put his teacup down completely, murmuring,
“That is… the loyalty of the Knights Templar…”
“As you know, the temple belongs to no one, so the loyalty of the Knights Templar is no different from a mere hollow oath.”
“Then, when Lady Obelton needs my help…”
“Sir Cedric. I am to become the Empress soon. And the Empress has no need for the help of someone without power or wealth.”
“…”
I interrupted him somewhat cynically and refuted.
A crack appeared on Cedric’s face, which had been peaceful until now, and I felt slightly sorry, but I suppressed it to the depths. Because this is a fact that will never change no matter how much it is denied.
In the Empire, the Empress holds the highest status next to the Emperor. This meant she could solve almost any problem with her own abilities.
On the other hand, Cedric, apart from his title as the leader of the Knights Templar who must only move for the greater good, was nothing more than the second son of a duke’s household, and unlike the children of other duke’s families, he had no notable power or wealth.
Therefore, even if I needed someone’s help after becoming the Empress, Cedric’s help would not be needed. Because for most things, the Obelton family’s help would suffice.
Of course, I, who am engaged to Ruth through a contract, will never really become the empress.
“……”
My mood suddenly became gloomy as I thought about it, but I tried not to show it.
Anyway, the reason I bring up a story that might sound rude is that I wanted to awaken Cedric, who is lurking in the shadows, to the reality. The reality that he cannot achieve ‘justice’ and ‘atonement’ by just staying still according to his beliefs.
After I deliberately recited it coolly and smiled properly, Cedric’s lips twitched. It seemed like he had something he wanted to say but hesitated to speak out.
I waited for him to open his mouth on his own accord. Since pressuring him from the outside was pointless in this conflict, patience was the only answer. Hence, I could only hope that Cedric’s hesitation didn’t drag on endlessly.
It was while I was once again focusing on the sound of time passing. Cedric broke the silence that filled the reception room like ink dropping on paper.
“That sounds like you’re telling me to seize power and wealth. If I’m wrong, please let me know.”
“You’re not wrong. I am indeed advising Sir Cedric to seize power and wealth.”
“Advising… you say?”
“Since I didn’t threaten, it’s advice.”
I smiled with a twinkle in my eyes at the sight of his furrowed brow, as if to ask what kind of logic that was. Inside, I was surprisingly taken aback by how much more playfully cunning I had become than before.
“Do you remember what I said to you at the last banquet?”
“Yes. You told me to step out of the shadows and become the successor to the Dright family, did you not?”
“You remember correctly. Yes, what I need is the successor of the Dright family, who holds both power and wealth. To be precise, I need the support of the successor of the Dright family.”
“For what purpose?”
Cedric, who had been quietly listening to my story, tilted his head in confusion. It seemed that he didn’t understand why I needed the support of the successor of the Dright family rather than the family head himself.
…Should I tell him?
Seeing him puzzled, I hesitated for a moment. Even though I knew that collaborating with Cedric would inevitably require going through this process, I still couldn’t make up my mind.
“Never make decisions alone, Seri. You’re still too young to make hasty decisions all by yourself.”
The stern voice echoing in my ears felt like a cold chain suffocating me. Worried about making a slip of the tongue, my lips quivered.
However, the expression on Cedric’s face when I sneakily glanced at him was calm. His unwavering gaze seemed to be reassuring me that it’s okay to make mistakes, harboring absolute trust towards me.
Perhaps thanks to that trust, I, feeling more at peace, began to inform him about the current situation by listening to a voice that had been by my side for a very long time.
“Your Majesty is currently trying to stabilize the imperial authority, which has become precarious due to consecutive acts of treason and rebellions. I am helping His Majesty in this effort.”
“Is that so.”
“In order to do that, we first need the support of the Council of Elders, but unfortunately, the Council does not recognize His Majesty, who seized the throne through a rebellion, rather than through conventional means, as the emperor.”
“……”
“So, after much deliberation on how to make the Council recognize His Majesty as the emperor, we concluded that the support of the four major ducal families is essential. Since the split into the imperial faction and the nobility faction, the four major ducal families have never once united in their opinions. However, if we can gain the support of all four, we’ll at least catch the eye of the Council.”
That was indeed the case. The reason we were putting in so much effort was simply to catch the eye of the Council at least once.
That way, even though Ruth had seized the throne through improper means, he could prove that he possesses the qualities of an emperor.
And the reason I needed the support of not only the Duke of Dright but also the Marquis of Dright was because of the ‘future generations.’ Because, even if we receive the Duke of Dright’s support, if we don’t get the Marquis of Dright’s support, future generations will repeat the same vicious cycle we went through.
Moreover, it was clear that the Duke of Dright’s support would be resolved with the sword that Ian was supposed to find. So, all I had to do was to obtain the Marquis of Dright’s support.
I recalled a conversation I had with Ruth during a meal a while ago and reaffirmed my determination. And just in case, I added an explanation for Cedric who might be curious.
“Of course, recognizing the qualities of an emperor is His Majesty’s part, but guessing which of the four ducal families’ support… No, figuring out which family could be beneficial for His Majesty is something I can do, and that’s what I’m doing.”
“But, in the end, this is beneficial for His Majesty, not for Miss Obelton, so why go to such lengths…?”
“To such lengths?”
“…Are you desperate?”
I didn’t expect him to question this part, so I was at a loss for words.
Why am I so desperate? Well, because I promised to help Ruth, and Ruth’s goal is indeed worth helping. Plus, there’s a personal desire to be near my first love from a young age…
I listed the reasons why I was helping Ruth in my head, but my voice trailed off at the end. Now that I think about it, the last reason was quite contradictory.
Just because it was my first love in childhood, doesn’t mean I have to like it still. Therefore, there’s also no guarantee about the feelings I’ve been harboring since my younger days.
So what exactly is this deeply seated in my heart? Could it merely be a trivial emotion reacting because it’s been my first love since childhood? If not, do I still like Ruth? Since when?
My condition, which I never doubted for a moment, has been realized belatedly.
Among these swirling doubts, there was one presence that revealed itself loudly.
Even if I’m fortunate enough to find the answer to this question, would anything change? I’m still ‘Serbia Obelton’, after all.
Like a sodden cotton, I felt heavy at this rhetorical yet self-deprecating question. I laughed at myself for acting this way now, after all this time following the direction of my feelings as I pleased.
It was funny, and pathetic.
“I want to be of help to His Majesty.”
“You won’t gain anything from it, will you?”
As I managed to steady my voice and reply, Cedric retorted.
“Why wouldn’t I gain anything? I’m about to become the empress soon; of course, it’s better for the imperial power to be strong.”
“That’s true, but… do you like it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you like His Majesty?”
“……Well.”
Despite my direct question about whether he likes Ruth, my evasive answer seemed strange, causing wrinkles to form on Cedric’s beautiful brow.
However, not knowing is my sincere answer, so instead of feeling sorry for him being in doubt, I casually let out a frivolous laugh.
“Is liking someone feeling like you want to cry every time you see them, but at the same time wanting to laugh? Or wanting to be with them, yet wanting to be as far away as possible? If not that, is it a feeling of pleasant tickling in the stomach, but also feeling like you’re about to vomit something?”
“That’s not liking.”
“Right. It doesn’t make sense for liking someone to be this contradictory. So, it’s not that I like His Majesty, sir. It’s just that I’m harboring some emotion that needs to be resolved, festering over and over.”
“Do you even know what that emotion is when you say that?”
“……No, I don’t. Do you, by any chance, know what this emotion is?”
“I don’t. I don’t even want to know.”
“Well, it is a filthy emotion, after all. I understand.”
It was an emotion I wouldn’t want to experience either. It bound me in a filthy way, like the maw of a snake that refuses to let go of its prey.
I watched my growing thoughts absently and tried to smile as brightly as possible.
“The conversation got too long. Let’s get back to the main point.”
“Understood.”
Seeing Cedric agree so readily, it seemed he had noticed my desire to change the subject.
I felt a small gratitude towards him and continued speaking.
“That’s the end of my story. Unfortunately, I have nothing more to offer you, but I can make you one promise.”
“What is it?”
“If Sir Cedric decides to work with us… No, if you promise to cooperate with us, we will do our utmost to ensure you can take your place as the heir to the Dright family. So, please answer, Sir Cedric.”
As I called him with a firm tone and paused for a moment, Cedric’s expression suddenly hardened, as if he knew what I was about to say.
I enjoyed his reaction and then softened my gaze, trying to look as harmless as possible.
“Will you join hands with us for the sake of your ‘justice’ and ‘atonement’?”
“….”
The die has been cast. Now, it’s time to make a decision.
