My goodness.
I barely managed to close my mouth that was about to drop open in shock, and silently waited for the next move of Countess Winter.
Soon after, Countess Winter smiled softly like a bloom of flowers and talked to herself.
“Well, that couldn’t have been the case.”
“…….”
Following her words, most of the nobles relaxed their shoulders. It seemed they were relieved that their honor had not been tarnished.
I was observing the nobles, who were noticeably reacting to every action of Countess Winter, when I eventually saw Duke Hazel.
He was watching me, not Countess Winter, with a stern expression.
As I shivered under his chilling gaze, noticing this, Countess Winter glanced at me and quietly asked.
“Are you just going to stand there trembling like a fool?”
“Pardon?”
Her voice was bland, completely different from when she spoke to others.
As I struggled to adapt to her suddenly changed demeanor, Countess Winter gestured towards Duke Hazel.
“Having helped this much, shouldn’t it be time for the lady to finish things up?”
“Ah… Thank you, Lady Winter Countess.”
I belatedly understood what she intended to convey with her sharp retort and expressed my gratitude.
Then, the Winter Countess turned her gaze away, snorting as if she hadn’t done it for the sake of being thanked.
A small laugh escaped me at the sight.
She had stepped in purely to help me, without any ulterior motive. And here I was, unnecessarily on guard.
I’m not sure why she chose to help me, but I decided to figure that out later. There are more pressing matters to attend to right now.
Turning my gaze away from the Winter Countess, I locked eyes with Duke Hazels’ brown irises.
Fiercely enough that some might perceive it as glaring.
Fear remains the same over time, but past fears are merely obstacles. Thus, this fear too could simply be dismissed as one of many unpleasant memories.
With my mind made up, Duke Hazel no longer seemed as intimidating as at first.
Moreover, Countess Sirael had said so. When it feels like becoming a clown among clowns, become the same kind of clown as them. That’s why I resolved to become just like those who treated me as a clown.
I smoothed down my chest, now considerably calmer, and smiled as gently as possible.
Reminding myself that I am not Selena right now, but Serbia, the fiancée of the Emperor.
“Lady Winter is right. At that time, I accidentally dropped my glass and got hurt. It was the first time I had shown such carelessness in front of so many people, so perhaps I overreacted a bit. I apologize for that part, Your Excellency.”
“No, I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry for grabbing your wrist without permission. I acted impulsively because I wanted to get to the bottom of the situation.”
“It’s okay. Just, next time, let’s have these discussions privately, not in front of others like today.”
As I said this, my gaze met with Cedric’s, who wore a bewildered expression.
I slightly squinted my eyes at him, my gaze carrying a mix of slight confusion and relief, intending to convey an apology.
It was inappropriate to show such behavior with Duke Hazel at Cedric’s birthday fiesta. It could have been seen as disrespecting the Dright family, who hosted the fiesta.
But wait a moment. Why didn’t the Duchess of Dright, the hostess of the fiesta, try to defuse the situation that was ruining the atmosphere?
Naturally continuing my thoughts, I glanced towards where the Duchess of Dright was standing, harboring a slight doubt.
As the hostess and the responsible party of the fiesta, she should have ensured that the atmosphere did not deteriorate for the sake of the guests.
Therefore, the Duchess of Dright should not have just let Duke Hazel and me face off like this.
“Ah.”
As soon as I checked what Duchess Dright was doing, I froze for a moment.
She was praying, her eyes tightly shut, hands clasped together.
What in the world… Could it be that she’s praying to God asking for Duke Hazel and me to stop fighting?
“……”
Good heavens.
My lips were firmly sealed, at a loss for words.
The moment I saw Duchess Dright praying so helplessly, I felt as though I was standing on ice.
Even for a devout believer, seeking divine intervention in a situation that could be resolved with one’s own strength seems misguided.
Doesn’t the Duchess Dright understand this?
Caught in bitter thoughts, I struggled to shift my gaze, which felt frozen in place, when suddenly, a man standing by Duchess Dright’s side caught my eye.
The man, looking down at Duchess Dright with a cold expression, similar to my own, was none other than the young Duke Dright.
I tilted my head in recognition of the man’s identity because, according to rumors, the young Duke Dright was known to be immensely filial, so it seemed unlikely that he would look at Duchess Dright with such eyes.
“Why like that…”
“Lady?”
“Yes?”
My drifting thoughts were interrupted by Lady Winter’s call.
Lady Winter noticed that I had been lost in thought and muttered in a sour tone.
“Is there time to be elsewhere in your mind?”
“Ah, sorry. I was just a bit shocked by the sight of Duchess Dright praying.”
“Duchess Dright is famously known for that. So don’t be shocked by trivial things and let’s wrap up this situation.”
I gave a slight nod in understanding to the low grumble of Lady Winter and looked at Duke Hazel, hiding a mysterious light in his gaze.
For now, distancing myself from Duke Hazel was more urgent than Dright family’s affairs.
I intended to end the conversation with him and casually asked,
“Have you then confirmed all the facts you wished to?”
“Yes. It seems so.”
Seeing Duke Hazel respond straightforwardly, without any superfluous comments, the unresolved thoughts still wandered in my head.
What was Duke Hazel really trying to confirm from me? Was it really because I fainted during the engagement ceremony when he grabbed my wrist?
“I suppose Lady Winter and I should take our leave now. I hope the rest of you enjoy the banquet.”
But it was ignored.
I just wanted to rest today. I wanted to stop breaking apart.
After giving a formal greeting to Duke Hazel, I left the banquet hall with Lady Winter. It was obvious what would happen if I left Lady Winter there alone.
And I walked on without ever looking back. It was an action born from a faint fear that if I stopped walking, even for a moment, I would be caught by Duke Hazel again.
Having left the Duke of Dright’ main house without stopping, I couldn’t go any further and just squatted down. It was because my legs gave out after moving sufficiently away from the banquet hall.
Although I managed to respond to Duke Hazel without missing a beat as if it was nothing, that act was only possible because Lady Winter was there.
In reality, I felt an immense helplessness, as if I had returned to being twelve-year-old Selena, utterly terrified. Though my body has grown, the realization that I’m still incapable of doing much clouded my vision with anger.
Lady Winter, watching me hug my quivering body and legs tightly, sighed.
“Lady.”
“Ah, Lady Winter.”
It was then that I realized I had been making a fool of myself in front of Lady Winter, and I tried to get up.
But she stopped me with a hand and took a handkerchief out of her pocket.
“Take this.”
“Huh? Why the handkerchief all of a sudden…”
The moment I felt puzzled by her unexpected act of handing me a handkerchief, a tear streaked down my dry cheek, like snow melting at the end of a long winter.
“Huh? Why am I crying? No, Lady, I’m really not sad. I’m really okay, so why am I crying?”
I awkwardly laughed it off, rambling as if making excuses.
No, it wasn’t even an excuse. The emotion filling my heart was not sadness, but anger. This shadow-stained emotion couldn’t possibly be anything but anger.
Lady Winter, wiping away tears with the handkerchief she had somewhat awkwardly received, looked at me intently for a while before saying,
“Sometimes, the hardest emotion to recognize is sadness, Lady. Because sadness can be colored in tens of thousands of hues.”
…Was that from experience?
I blankly stared at Lady Winter, who was drawing a crumpled smile with her lips.
Her bloodshot eyes seemed to wander through beautiful memories, filled with an array of colors.
Remaining in that state for a while, Lady Winter soon turned her face back to reality and changed the subject.
“Keep that handkerchief, my lady. It’s to pay you back for the handkerchief you lent me last time.”
“……”
“I’ll be on my way then.”
As I did not respond, Lady Winter turned around as if she had no more business here. Yet, contrary to her words of departure, she did not move an inch and, after a few seconds, let out a suppressed voice.
“And what I did for you today… consider it a repayment of a favor. I was too embarrassed to say it last time, but thank you for helping me.”
With those words softly spoken, Lady Winter immediately stepped forward. Her nape, barely visible, was slightly red.
I watched until that red hue disappeared from my sight, then gripped the white handkerchief in my hand with force.
“……It’s damp.”
Then, I uttered a brief reflection.
The handkerchief, soaked with tears, was damp. Perhaps that is why a single handkerchief felt so heavy.
I allowed myself to enjoy the significant weight transmitted through my grip, slowly rounding my eyes without trying to stop them.
In the place where Lady Winter Countess had left, there was a sprout just beginning to emerge into the world.
“It’s beautiful.”
Before one knew it, it was spring again.
