“What?”
When I asked her directly, Helen blinked for a few seconds with an expression that clearly showed her confusion. It seemed even she hadn’t anticipated this turn of events.
Helen, after staring at me silently for a moment, covered her mouth with her hand and burst into a hearty laugh. The previous confusion vanished, leaving only a sense of relief as she laughed for a long time.
Watching her, I felt the tension in my body gradually relax.
I had thought she would at least be displeased, if not outright offended by my question, but it seemed I had miscalculated. So, in a way, it was a relief. I didn’t know why, but I felt reassured.
After her laughter had subsided, Helen, tears formed at the corners of her eyes from laughing too hard, wiped them away with her fingers and asked, “Why are you asking that now? I thought you would’ve asked sooner.”
“Hm? When did you think I would ask?”
“The moment I suggested to Serbia that we be friends.”
Her response impressed me internally because that was exactly when I started to be curious about Helen’s intentions.
“So, let’s be friends, Lady Obelton. I dare say, building a friendship with me will definitely not be a loss for you.”
Who else would earnestly offer friendship and assure me that being friends with them wouldn’t result in a loss?
I might not know about others, but I could assert with certainty that there was definitely some ulterior motive when Helen of the Abyss family said such a thing. So, I deliberately stepped into her chess board pretending not to see.
“I don’t calculate profit and loss when I make friends with someone.”
“Is that so…”
“If that’s the way a noble lady forms relationships, then perhaps making an exception just this once would be alright.”
“!”
At the time, I honestly arrogantly believed that I could easily grasp Helen’s intentions by maintaining a friendship with her. No matter how intelligent a person might be, being human, I mistakenly thought that eventually, they would reveal their true feelings.
But as time gradually passed, I realized it was a misjudgment.
The first assumption that came to mind was that of being a valuable connection, but what Helen wanted from me was not just a valuable connection. I was a noble lady of weak standing, and she already had good connections.
The second assumption was that of a business partner, but what Helen wanted from me wasn’t to be business partners either. Amidst all the letters exchanged between us, there wasn’t a single discussion about business.
The last, and worst, assumption was that she aimed for the Empress’s position, but what Helen wanted wasn’t the Empress’s position either.
If she desired the position of Empress, she would’ve shown at least some interest in Ruth, but from what I observed at the last ball, she seemed uninterested not just in Ruth, but in the imperial palace as a whole.
If she wasn’t after good connections, a business partnership, or even the position of Empress, then what on earth did Helen want from me?
Puzzled by this enigma, I watched Helen, her gaze filled with deep meaning, as she drank her claret wine, wishing she would soon speak up.
Whether she had noticed my feelings or not, Helen, who had long been moistening her throat with wine, slowly spoke, “It’s what I want…”
Her voice trailing off left the listener anxiously awaiting the continuation of her story, swallowing dry saliva.
After a moment, she sketched a graceful curve at the corners of her mouth and slowly started to approach, lifting herself from the railing.
“I haven’t married yet, nor do I have a fiancé,” one step.
“My father is in poor health, barely hanging on,” two steps.
“And currently, I am the only direct descendant of the Abyss family,” three steps. Exactly three steps later, the distance between Helen and me had somehow shortened to just a couple of feet.
Her eyes, seen from this closer distance, shone like stars brightening the dark sky, embodying a dignified confidence unique to her that I couldn’t mimic.
I stared at her blankly for a moment before collecting my thoughts and carefully considering the words she had spoken.
Helen wasn’t engaged yet, the Duke of Abyss was in critical health, and she was the only direct descendant of the Abyss family now. What Helen might want…
…could it be that?
A sudden thought struck me with a mild shock.
As I barely managed to stop my jaw from dropping and looked at Helen, she showed a pure smile.
“I mean…. Serbia.”
“……”
“I want Abyss.”
I want Abyss.
The fact that came from her mouth gave certainty to my speculation.
Helen wasn’t simply after something trivial like honor. She was after something bigger, the position of the head of Abyss.
However, the imperial law prohibited a woman from succeeding the head position. That’s why the Obelton family, despite having a direct eldest daughter, had gone out of their way to adopt Ian, who was a commoner.
Therefore, there was no legal way for Helen to become the head of Abyss. The only way for her to remain in Abyss was by bringing in a son-in-law to become the Duchess of Abyss.
And for that reason, she needed me. Precisely, me, who would soon become the fiancee of the Emperor.
I finished sorting out the situation in general and, pushing down my sense of disappointment, cautiously started to speak.
“So, Helen wants to change the imperial law. But that’s…”
“Serbia. The imperial law we are using now was made a thousand years ago. And a lot has changed since then, different from that time.”
But it’s not something I can do on my end, and changing imperial law itself is a very complicated process, so it will be difficult to proceed as desired.
– I was about to say this, but Helen, who had been looking at me without a single discrepancy in our gazes, abruptly cut me off with determination.
Since some time, there was no longer any emotion visible on her face. It’s as if this unsmiling, business-like face was her real one from the beginning.
“With people who exploit the law and those who suffer under it increasing, do we really need to leave the imperial law as is?”
“……”
“Everything changes over time. No, it has to change. And this applies to the imperial law as well. Especially because it’s imperial law, it shouldn’t remain stagnant, I believe.”
I remained silent as I watched Helen argue forcefully.
Regardless of whether her argument was right or wrong, I was initially inclined to listen to what Helen had to say.
“Serbia. Be honest. Haven’t you ever thought, even once, that the current imperial law has many flaws?”
“I…don’t know.”
Caught off guard by the sudden question, I clumsily mumbled an answer, barely concealing my surprise.
To be honest, I couldn’t agree with Helen’s opinion that the imperial law had many flaws.
This was because the imperial law, which had been in use since the reign of the first emperor, had proven the innocence of the Obelton family and allowed their restitution.
Where does it end? Thanks to the law of the empire that guarantees the quality of life for its citizens, children of commoners receive education appropriate for their age regardless of gender, and even commoners with outstanding abilities have many opportunities to advance, such as becoming advisors to nobles.
However, this doesn’t mean Helen was wrong. As she said, the imperial law has remained the same as it was established by the first emperor.
This means, while other things changed with time, the imperial law, which should be the most sensitive to change, remained stagnant.
And there’s no stagnant water that doesn’t rot. Imperial law was no exception.
“I’ve thought about it many times. Laws that don’t guarantee the rights of women, illegitimate children, and all children should be stripped of their status as laws,” she said.
The rights of women. The rights of illegitimate children. The rights of all children. I silently repeated the rights Helen mentioned.
I could agree with her on this point, for a simple reason.
I remember my sister trembling at our father’s announcement that he would adopt Ian.
I remember Lady Winter, who was beaten by Count Winter for not performing her duties adequately, simply because she was an illegitimate child.
And I remember the nobles who treated the children from the slums not as humans but as objects to elevate their own status.
How could I, who have witnessed all these rights being so easily infringed upon, deny this truth?
The reason I hesitated to speak freely was because I doubted whether Helen was looking at the situation from the same perspective as I was.
Somehow, having lived as a noble all her life, I couldn’t help but prematurely suspect that Helen was observing all this from the standpoint of ‘those who have’, with a hint of skepticism creeping in.
If that were the case, what should I do?
My heart became restless, as if the path I had been following had suddenly come to an end. The reason I had grown close to Helen was purely because the support of the Abyss family was absolutely necessary to successfully fulfill the contract with Ruth. That was all it should have been.
Yet, now that I’ve joined hands with Helen, it was clear that it would greatly help in gaining the support of the Abyss. Helen would get the Abyss position she wanted, and Ruth would get the solid support of the Abyss she desired—it would be the perfect picture.
Therefore, regardless of how I felt, if I only thought about Ruth, I had to join hands with Helen. Just closing my eyes and saying, “Me too,” would solve everything at once.
However, I couldn’t help but see Helen overlapping with the nobles at the banquet, who talked about investment projects under the guise of charity work for children in the slums.
Her pursuit of achieving the Abyss position by confronting the shortcomings of the imperial law and calling for its amendment seemed hypocritical.
It appeared arrogant, believing she understood the hardships of the people through compassion born from observing the lives of the subjugated from high above. And above all, she hadn’t seen people like me, who had regained their rights thanks to the imperial law.
“……”
My lips wouldn’t part, as if I had been struck by a silence spell, as if this was the last piece of conscience I had left.
Seeing me remain quiet for a while, Helen looked at me with eyes full of apology, not knowing what to do, and lifted the corners of her mouth.
“That’s why we needed Serbia by His Majesty’s side. I’m sorry if it displeases you. But I don’t want to withdraw my opinion.”
Then, seeing me still engulfed in confusion, she put on a face filled with feigned emotion once again.
“So, if you ever want to cooperate, even with someone like me, write me a letter. It seems Serbia needs some time to think right now.”
Fortunately, there’s no need to decide right away.
I relished the rising sense of relief and followed the sound of heels clacking against the terrace. That’s when I saw Helen, who had walked towards the entrance of the terrace while I was lost in thought.
Holding the end of the curtain, as if about to return to the banquet hall, Helen looked back at me, who was watching her from a distance, and chuckled.
“Ah, even if Serbia and I end up not cooperating due to our differing stances, I hope we can still remain friends. Is that too selfish of a wish?”
“……”
I wonder. Even when we realize we’re looking in different directions, will we still be able to smile and face each other like this?
If none of the two conflicting beliefs bend, it was obvious that both beliefs would end up breaking.
Therefore, instead of replying, I just smiled. It was the best I could do.
I feel like she thinks too much