“False….”
Ruth, who was about to rebut Tommy, suddenly clouded over in his gaze, as if affected by a mental magic spell.
…Mental magic?
With a sense of disbelief, I hurriedly looked at Tommy standing next to me.
Tommy was wearing the same calm smile as before, but one strange thing was that for a moment, his pupils seemed clouded over as if his eyes were white.
As soon as his eyes returned to their original silvery color, I realized that Tommy had used a mental magic spell on Ruth. I couldn’t tell what kind of mental magic it was.
The moment I realized that, Ruth pressed his forehead and let out a shallow groan.
“Uh… What is this, now….”
While saying unintelligible words, he slowly lowered his hand. When the hand hiding his face was removed, his gaze, cleared of confusion, was revealed.
The usual impassive expression seemed to indicate that Tommy’s mental magic had successfully taken effect.
Ruth, who appeared to be assessing his situation for a moment, eventually fixed his gaze on Tommy and me. His straight, undoubted gaze no longer contained a shred of suspicion.
Internally, I felt relieved at his unwavering demeanor.
But at the same time, I had to struggle to keep my face from contorting.
Mental magic differs from other magics in that it causes aftereffects not on the caster but on the person it is cast upon.
It often leads to confusion accompanied by headaches, causing suffering for a while. I felt sorry for Ruth.
If I had been just a bit more careful, Ruth wouldn’t have discovered me, and if he hadn’t discovered me, Tommy wouldn’t have had to cast mental magic on him for my sake.
Aware of my feelings, Tommy gently patted my shoulder, just like when we were very young.
But that only deepened the blue hues of my emotions.
As I was engulfed in swirling thoughts, Ruth broke the silence with his subdued voice.
“What’s the situation here, master of the tower?”
“I was just introducing my assistant to His Majesty. I hope you weren’t not listening.”
There was no sense of incongruity in Tommy’s skillful handling of the situation. Considering I knew the whole story, imagine how it must be for Ruth.
Glancing slightly up at Ruth, he looked completely fooled by Tommy’s story, just as I expected.
Ruth, awkwardly fidgeting with the back of his neck, then let out a sigh and apologized.
“Ah, was that so? I’m sorry. I remember going out for a walk, but I can’t remember anything beyond that.”
“It’s alright. There’s no need for the emperor of an empire to remember the name of a mere assistant.”
“You’re supposed to be an assistant, but surely you’re not just any assistant, right? So, what’s your name?”
Tommy sharply shot back, displaying a demeanor quite unusual from anything I had seen from him before. I couldn’t fathom why he was being so aggressive toward Ruth.
Just like at the ball, Ruth, choosing to overlook Tommy’s rudeness, looked at me. His clear purple pupils boasted a tranquil light.
Watching this and fearing my identity might be revealed, I hesitated to speak. In my stead, Tommy stepped forward.
“Her name is Selena, Your Highness.”
“!”
I couldn’t hide my agitation at the name he uttered because ‘Selena’ was my real name.
Why would Tommy know that name…? No, why out of all names, that one…?
My head started spinning rapidly.
If he wanted to deceive Ruth, there were countless names he could have chosen. Names like Arien, Elena, Aia, Baela, to name a few, immediately came to mind.
So, why did he specifically introduce me as ‘Selena’?
…Could it be he already figured out my identity?
With a trembling heart, I subtly glanced at Tommy.
I never thought I could forever hide my secret from him, someone destined to hold the position of a Magician with innate magical talent. The potion I’ve been taking is also made through magic, after all.
I just wished Tommy would realize a bit later. That way, there would be less risk of the secret being exposed to others, and I also didn’t want to show an unworthy side of myself to an old childhood friend I had just met.
Fortunately, Tommy’s words seemed to be without any intention, as his expression didn’t change at all, not even his meaningful gaze.
While I was swallowing my relief, Ruth’s eyebrows drew a gentle arc.
“Selena, huh? You have a good name. I hope your path shines like the moon in the sky.”
“……”
Ruth immediately understood that my name carried the meaning of the moon and greeted me accordingly.
However, I couldn’t respond to his kind greeting and lowered my head.
Regrettably, hearing my name in Ruth’s clear voice was incredibly pleasing. Although I had only imagined it, hearing it in reality was insanely delightful. I wanted to hear it once more.
This isn’t right, Selena. You shouldn’t be greedy yet.
While I was scolding myself not to kindle foolish desires, Tommy, defending me as if, said with a laugh-filled tone.
“As you can see, my assistant is quite shy, so even if they come off as rude, please understand with a broad mind.”
“Understood.”
“Then we will return to the palace now. Have a peaceful night.”
“I hope you and your assistant have a peaceful night,” said Ruth in his customary greeting, signaling the end of their conversation. Tommy then pulled me closer to him.
Even then, consumed by my thoughts, I snapped back to reality when I felt a breeze seemingly out of nowhere. This unfound breeze gently swirled around me, as if promising not to harm me.
Familiar with the sensation, I quickly realized the magic Tommy had cast.
Teleportation.
Before I could even wonder where he was taking me, Ruth, who had been in front of me, vanished in an instant, and my familiar bedroom appeared in his place.
We’re back.
I took a deep breath and exhaled.
The fact that we had escaped from the overwhelming atmosphere of the garden and returned to my bedroom was strangely moving.
While I was lost in my emotions, I heard a faint stirring beside me.
Only then did I realize Tommy was still next to me, and with flushed cheeks, I expressed my gratitude.
“Thank you for your help. So…”
“Young lady.”
“…!”
Just as I was about to suggest it might be better for him to leave to avoid any misunderstandings, Tommy called me tenderly, just like he used to.
The gaze that looked at me was so tender beyond description that my whole body froze in an instant. Even my usually working brain stopped moving just for this moment.
How did you recognize me? Since when have you known? If you knew all along, why have you been hiding it?
There was much I wanted to ask, but as if I had forgotten how to speak, only my lips twitched, which was the best I could do under the circumstances.
Tommy, noticing my reaction, slightly grinned and bent down to meet my eye level.
“Why are you so surprised? Did you really think I wouldn’t know?”
Tommy’s pupils shone with certainty as he asked playfully.
Seeing this, I plunged into deep contemplation.
Unlike my confused thoughts, my heart wanted to spill everything to him. Having Tommy, my childhood friend and also the lord of the Mage Tower, on my side would be incredibly reassuring.
However, if I start revealing my secrets to one or two people like this, there would be no end to those who discover the truth.
In short, it meant that secrets would no longer be secrets.
And if I reveal my identity, I would have to explain the reasons for my presence in the royal palace, which was something I especially didn’t want. It was the last vestige of pride I could hold in front of my gloriously grown-up childhood friend.
“Little lady, I don’t understand what you are talking about.”
“It seems like you know.”
“I’m telling you, I don’t. I really don’t know.”
“A person who truly doesn’t know wouldn’t have their eyes flicker, Lady. Only those who have something to hide show signs of agitation.”
“I think it’s premature to make assumptions based on something as trivial as flickering eyes.”
“Well, that could be. But, Lady,”
Tommy paused briefly, then fixed a playful smile.
“There’s no way I wouldn’t be able to read the flow of mana in someone who has taken a magic potion.”
“……”
At his decisive words, a sense of defeat overwhelmed me, as if a dam had broken.
The regret over all my excuses turning futile and the disappointment in myself for not having prepared for such a situation, even though I had predicted it, were crushing.
But soon, my spirits began to recover.
Honestly, I had always known that Tommy would eventually discover my true identity.
Not only because of the magic potion but also because it just seemed like something he would do. Not because we’re childhood friends or because he’s a renowned tower master, but simply because it felt inevitable.
Therefore, I convinced myself that the revelation had merely come sooner than expected.
If it’s just Tommy, wouldn’t that be okay? I could even get some help occasionally.
As my thoughts became more positive, I pushed my deflated pride aside and chuckled.
“Looks like I can’t fool you. How did you know? It couldn’t possibly be from my eyes.”
“Of course, it’s not because of the eyes, but because you are the young lady.”
Because I am the young lady, huh.
Tommy noticed my skeptical look at his vague answer and repeated himself.
“To me, the young lady will always be the young lady. That’s an unchanging truth.”
“…What’s that supposed to mean?”
Seeing him emphasize it made me finally burst into genuine laughter, something I hadn’t done in a long time. An unforced laugh.
As the atmosphere in the bedroom lightened sufficiently, Tommy and I plopped onto the bed without seeing who did it first.
Then, as we quietly asked about each other’s well-being, Tommy looked at my hair, now completely turned dark brown, and asked,
“How did you come to the palace in that state?”
“My sister ran away after receiving His Majesty’s proposal. It seems she got pregnant from her relationship with her lover.”
“Ah.”
Even though I spoke in a joking manner, Tommy’s face darkened. He had always been empathetic since we were children, and it seemed he still was.
I was somehow glad for his unchanged nature, so I curled my lips into a smile.
Watching me, Tommy looked like he was about to cry, then clenched his fist and asked, “Aren’t you lonely?”
“Hm?”
“The palace is vast and full of people, but you, as the young lady, don’t have your own space or people. Moreover, you’re even disguising yourself as the older lady.”
Only then did I understand what he was trying to ask and tried to keep my smile from fading.
Was my emotion stirring because this was the first time someone had asked me such a question? I’m not sure.
“I think I would feel lonely in this situation. How about you, young lady?”
“……”
I didn’t respond.
My answer to the question of whether I was lonely was already determined.
I was lonely.
Feeling like I was walking a tightrope alone was truly the worst. It felt like being surrounded by enemies. In the midst of that, all I could trust was one piece of leather armor and a blunt dagger.
That’s what slighted me, bit by bit.
In the midst of it all, the sight of myself was so pitiful that it made everything even more heartbreaking. So, I wished for someone to hold onto me, like that boy did one spring day when he said, “We’re going to play hide and seek from now on.”
“Just like that, you don’t need to hang your head like a sinner. Do you understand?” Like that person did one winter day.
“How is the young lady doing?”
The name of the emotion I finally recognized was neither sadness nor joy.
“Are you very lonely?”
It was an exceedingly old loneliness.
