When I stepped out of the cabin, the dazzling afternoon sunlight stung my eyes.
Consequently, I squinted for a few seconds until I got somewhat used to the bright light.
“Do you want to check out this pretty trail here?”
“I don’t mind.”
“Okay, let’s take a short walk on the trail and then head back.”
I grabbed Ruth’s wrist, who shrugged his shoulders, and headed towards the trail.
Whether it was out of consideration for me, he let himself be led by me, adjusting his strength gently.
“……”
“……” While we walked on the trail, no words were exchanged between us.
However, it was far from an uncomfortable silence. On the contrary, it was so comfortable that I could leisurely look around.
As Ruth and I were walking on the trail, suddenly a whimpering sound was heard from somewhere.
At first listen, it seemed like the groan of a young animal.
“Ruth.”
When I stopped walking and quietly called Ruth, an immediate response came from behind.
“Why aren’t you calling out?”
“Can you hear it too?”
“Yeah. I can even faintly smell the blood. It seems a young animal might have accidentally gotten caught in a trap left by a hunter.”
Given the lack of excitement in his voice, it appeared he was much more accustomed to such situations than I was, who was nervous.
“If it’s caught in a trap left by a hunter, the animal is going to die, isn’t it?”
“That’s what the hunter is supposed to do.”
“…Can’t we help it?”
“Excessive meddling isn’t good, Serbia. Just think of it as the animal’s fate to end up this way.”
Ruth responded indifferently without hesitation.
At that, I involuntarily pouted my lips.
“But ignoring the chance to save it when we can seems wrong.”
“Why do you feel guilty about the creature dying because it’s ignorant and weak?”
Unable to bear it any longer, I looked at him as if he was someone unable to feel compassion, which should be a natural emotion for anyone.
“So, do you think it’s natural for the weak to die?”
…Being weak isn’t a crime. The words I couldn’t bring myself to say lingered in my mouth before disappearing.
“It’s only natural since it’s part of nature’s order.”
Then, Ruth, who began speaking, had his brows unnaturally curved into a semi-circle. It was a feigned smile.
Seeing that smile, I suddenly remembered what he had said a week ago.
“In the place where I was, offering kindness and concessions without expecting anything in return is a poison, both for the giver and the receiver.”
“……”
My lips, which had been moving slightly, firmly closed.
I wasn’t sure why, but it seemed that Ruth was not incapable of feeling compassion.
On the contrary, it seemed he was hiding his compassion to protect himself. In the place where he had been, even compassion was nothing more than poison.
“What are you thinking about so deeply?”
Caught off guard in my shallow thoughts, he suddenly poked his face forward.
Thanks to that, I was startled and quickly snapped out of my thoughts.
“It’s nothing.”
“You look sad.”
“Just, feeling a bit sorry.”
“Are you feeling sorry for that animal?”
What I had said was about Ruth, but he misunderstood it differently.
Deciding there was no need to clear up his misunderstanding, I nodded slowly.
“Yeah, I’m worried.”
“So, what are you going to do now? Are you going to go?”
“I plan to. You…”
For a moment, I considered persuading Ruth to come along, but then I shook my head.
“If you still don’t feel like helping, you don’t have to come.”
I softly added those words and carefully released Ruth’s wrist. Just as I was about to step towards the source of the sound, he grabbed my hand.
“Thinking about it.”
“?”
“It might be okay to make an exception just this once.”
Exception…
I repeated the word he liked silently to myself and lifted the corners of my mouth.
***
As Ruth and I approached the source of the groaning, we saw a baby wolf shivering and caught in a sharp trap.
The baby wolf’s left hind leg, caught in the iron trap, was drenched in bright red blood.
As I cautiously approached the baby wolf, Ruth spoke calmly from behind me.
“Just release it from the trap, Serbia.”
“What about the wound?”
“The wound will heal over time. So, don’t bother trying to treat it.”
The wound was so deep it was contorting just to look at it.
But to leave it untreated and trust time.
I frowned at the irresponsible suggestion.
“I could at least wipe off the blood.”
“That’s not allowed either.”
“Why?”
I tilted my head at the firm refusal.
After hesitating for a moment, Ruth opened his mouth.
“Wild animals that live in packs, like wolves, are bound to be ostracized if they carry the scent of humans. So, just release it from the trap.”
“…Ostracized from the pack?”
“Yes.”
I finally understood why he said no to treating the baby wolf’s wound. If a wolf, by nature a pack animal, is ostracized from the pack, especially a baby wolf not yet fully grown, it would struggle to survive on its own.
Pretending not to care what happens to the baby wolf, he was actually the most concerned.
I stared at Ruth for a moment before quietly swallowing my laughter.
“I had no idea. I would have made a mistake if you hadn’t told me.”
So, following Ruth’s advice, I should just release the trap and leave. I muttered to myself at the end of my words, pondering how to unlock the trap that was as big as my palm.
Maybe just lifting this part up would do it.
The moment I fiddled with the top part of the trap with that thought, Ruth quickly stepped beside me.
“This is how you do it.”
Then, he skillfully manipulated the trap this way and that.
The trap opened its mouth immediately under his touch.
“How do you know how to do this?”
I was amazed that he knew something I couldn’t figure out after much thought.
Is Ruth the son of a hunter? Is that why he knows so much about hunting tools? But the way he talks seems more like a high noble.
It was a time when chains of questions were preying on my mind. Ruth, who had watched as the baby wolf disappeared into the bushes with much effort, briefly answered,
“Because it’s familiar.”
Then, closing the trap stained with blood again, he murmured in succession,
“I guess I have to bury this.”
“Won’t the hunter be troubled if you bury it?”
“If I leave this here for the hunter, the same situation will happen again.”
The same situation…
The agonizing moan of the baby wolf rang vividly in my ears, making me clench my fists.
“You wouldn’t want that to happen.”
“That’s…”
Before I could even respond to his question, which seemed not to expect an answer, he began to dig the soft earth with his hands.
“……”
I silently watched Ruth, who dug through the dirt as if he didn’t care whether his hands got dirty or not.
Although I wanted to help, getting my hands dirty would arouse my father’s suspicion. Therefore, all I could do was just watch.
After digging a certain amount, Ruth placed the trap inside and carefully covered it with dirt.
Thanks to that, the trap and bloodstains were hidden in the soil, leaving no trace behind.
“All done.”
After a lot of effort, Ruth finished the work, dusted the soil off his hands roughly, and smiled in satisfaction.
I alternately looked at him and the location where the trap had just been, then I slightly moved my lips.
This was the first time I had seen someone whose words and actions were so different, and it made me feel uneasy. The inability to define Ruth in a single word brought confusion.
Engulfed in this deepening confusion, I accidentally blurted out the thoughts that were filling my mind.
“It’s weird.”
“What do you mean?”
He asked with a puzzled face, not understanding what I said.
“It’s strange, you.”
Instead of clearing up Ruth’s questions, I bravely continued speaking. I was in the midst of sharing my feelings, which I didn’t fully understand myself, so I didn’t have the luxury to make him understand.
“…”
“My nanny used to say that. If a young child thinks too much, they grow up too quickly.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”
“Try to think less. It’s already complicated enough as it is.”
Ruth was distinctly different from anyone I had encountered so far. He seemed indifferent yet was delicate. He acted authoritative at times but could also be infinitely vulnerable.
Thus, I concluded. The reason I feel odd every time I see Ruth is because he is too contradictory, making things complex.
Seeing my firm gaze, Ruth let out a small chuckle.
“Why do you say one shouldn’t grow up too fast?”
“If you grow up too fast, you get wrinkles here and here. Plus, you get gray hair.”
As I pointed to my forehead and the corners of my eyes, a broad smile formed on his lips.
“But with the gray hairs comes more knowledge. And with the wrinkles, a broader understanding.”
“See. You’re thinking too much, and that’s making you grow up too fast.”
I playfully scolded him and inadvertently looked up at the sky.
The sky, beginning to sunset, was transitioning from blue to yellow.
It’s about time to leave.
“I need to go now. Can you make it back to the cabin we visited earlier on your own?”
As I took out the magic stone from my pocket, I asked, and Ruth crossed his arms and retorted with dissatisfaction, “As I said earlier, I’m not a child. Anyway, are you coming back again?”
“Would you like that?”
“I guess. Well, it’s not boring at least.” I laughed softly, seeing him still pouting as he spoke.
Originally, I had planned today to be the last visit, never to come back.
However, having spent a surprisingly enjoyable time with Ruth today, I decided I would come again.
“I’ll come back in a week, is there anything specific you’d like me to bring? I can’t bring anything too conspicuous, but I can manage something small.”
“Then, forget the other things, could you bring me a few books by an author named William Hesent?”
“Alright.”
William Hesent. William Hesent. I kept repeating the somewhat familiar name.
Only after I felt certain I had memorized the author’s name did I step a few paces away from Ruth.
It was better to keep some distance from people around when using the magic stone to move, as it could affect them.
“I’ll be going now.”
After saying goodbye to him and imparting strength into the garnet, the same alien feeling enveloped me as always.
“Serbia.”
As this alien sensation intensified, Ruth suddenly called out to me.
“The promise to come again in a week.”
I couldn’t turn my head caught in the wind, but I listened to his words until the end.
“I hope you’ll definitely keep it.”
