Unexpectedly, I Became the Emperor’s Fiancé

“What?”

I had to make sure I hadn’t misheard. Seeing me confused, Lady Abyss gave a sheepish smile.

“I was impressed by how you handled the provocation earlier that would have easily ensnared someone else. Moreover, you don’t seem to just care for your own pride unlike other nobles, which I found appealing.”

She stepped forward, listing reasons why she wanted to befriend me.

I stepped back in surprise, finding her different from how she was at the tea party, almost unrecognizable.

Lady Abyss, watching me closely, gently placed a hand over her left chest and said,

“So, let’s become friends, Lady Obelton. I dare say, forming a friendship with me will definitely not be a loss for you.”

Confused by the utterly ambiguous statement, it was only for a moment before I noticed Lady Abyss’s calculating gaze and realized. Lady Abyss wasn’t proposing to build a personal connection with me.

It was an invitation to forge a relationship as the Emperor’s fiancée and a daughter of the Abyss family.

“…….”

The feeling was unpleasant, like the faint hope I never really had was turning to ash and falling to the ground.

This reminded me starkly that she was indeed a daughter of the Abyss family. The Abyss’ tendency to form and break relationships based on cost-benefit analyses was blatantly evident in every word and deed.

Anyway, what reason could there possibly be for Lady Abyss, a daughter of the Abyss family, to want to forge a relationship with me, the Emperor’s fiancée?

She could handle most things on her own without needing such connections.

After briefly pondering what Lady Abyss might be thinking, I eventually gave up.

It was nearly impossible to decipher the intentions of someone intentionally hiding their true feelings. Therefore, any effort felt futile.
Instead, I pondered how to respond to her proposal.

Certainly, forming a connection with Lady Abyss would be beneficial for me.

The Abyss household was one of the four major ducal houses whose support I needed to secure, and to avoid being swept up in the social circles, I needed the support of someone like Lady Abyss.

However, the reason for my hesitation, perhaps, was because I had no idea what Lady Abyss was really thinking.

Is joining hands with her the right choice?

The long-standing concern reached its destination in no time.

If I say I’m fine here, it would be like putting myself on the lady’s chessboard voluntarily. However, despite that, I thought it might be okay to move according to her will just this once. After all, this would also be a cornerstone of the bigger picture I am drawing.

“I don’t weigh the pros and cons when making friends with someone.”

“Is that so…”

“But if that’s how the lady forms relationships, I think it’s okay to make an exception just this once.”

“!”

Lady Abyss’s eyes widened at my subsequent response. It seems she didn’t expect me to agree so readily.

I glanced at her noticeably agitated self and added quietly,

“Please don’t disappoint me, Lady Abyss.”

“…Of course.”

Lady Abyss’s response was slow, her eyes filled with joy.

I diverted my gaze from her sparkling eyes, which seemed to embed thousands of stars. Just when I was about to turn around to board the carriage, Lady Abyss stopped me once again.

“I’ll write to you.”

“I’ll wait for the lady’s letter then…”

“Helen.”

“Yes?”

I blinked in surprise as she suddenly cut me off, murmuring her own name.

What scheming might this be now, I wondered fearfully, but Lady Abyss’s eyes curved beautifully.

“Could you call me Helen instead of Lady? We are friends now, aren’t we?”

“…I will.”

Contrary to my concerns, her request turned out to be nothing but genuinely pure.

Friends… Friends, huh.

I repeated the word, feeling a ticklish sensation inside. The feeling of my tongue smoothly rolling off the word was pleasant. Too pleasant.

While I was lost in my thoughts, Helen, with a slightly flushed face, asked cautiously.

“Ah. And if it’s alright with you, may I call you by your name as well?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Serbia. The moment I heard the name attached at the end of Helen’s sentence, my blood ran cold.
For a moment, I almost mistook her for ‘my’ friend Helen.

I calmed my restless heart and laughed in vain.

After all, she too was someone from whom I must thoroughly hide my secrets, with an insurmountable wall placed between us.

So, after bidding farewell to Helen and entering the carriage, the smile that lingered on my lips instantly vanished.

“Ha…”

What immediately took its place was a self-deprecating sneer.

***

The carriage, which had been running ceaselessly, arrived at the imperial palace a while later.

“Lady! How was the tea party?”

“It was alright.”

Fortunately, my mood had improved in the meantime, so I could give Isabella, who had been waiting for me, a bright smile.

“Anyway, so I’ve been waiting for Lady since an hour ago…”

While heading to the bedroom with Isabella, who took my coat and chattered as usual, I noticed palace eunuchs and maids rushing somewhere urgently.

“Huh? Why are the eunuchs not leaving work and rushing around at this late hour?”

“I’m not sure. Should I ask?”

Upon hearing the quiet murmur of my question, Isabella immediately nodded to my inquiry without any hesitation.

If the eunuchs and maids were running around in such a desperate manner, it meant something very serious had happened. I was curious what could be such a grave matter that made everyone look pale.

After a short while, Isabella, who went to inquire about the situation, opened her mouth with trembling eyes.

“That, that is…”

After hesitating for a long time, she cautiously continued, gauging my reaction.

“…It’s said that His Majesty the Emperor has collapsed.”

“…!”

As soon as I heard the news from Isabella, my head went blank and I heard ringing in my ears.

As the ringing grew louder, all my senses began to fade away, but strangely, my rapidly beating heart remained clear. And when even that thumping noise stopped,

“Ruth.”

I was already running to Ruth’s bedroom.

***

How long had I run? Soon, I arrived in front of Ruth’s bedroom and without hesitation, I pushed open the tightly closed door. Inside the bedroom were the palace physicians, maids, and Lilia.

Seeing their anxious faces gathered around the luxurious bed, I was certain Ruth was there.

“What is this commotion, milady?”

As I walked briskly towards them, Lilia, who seemed about to snap at me irritably, caught my eye and showed a surprised look.

“What’s going on here?”

“Ru, no. I heard His Majesty had collapsed and came.”

I responded vaguely to her question and squeezed through the maids to enter.

That’s when I caught sight of Ruth, lying lifelessly.

“!”

He had seemed fine until the afternoon, why. About to touch Ruth involuntarily, I clenched my hand tight and contorted my face.

While I was trying to suppress my swelling emotions, Lilia spoke.

“It’s overwork.”

“…Pardon?”

“That’s why His Majesty suddenly collapsed.”

“Ah.”

A small sigh of inability to hold back leaked out.

They say the Emperor of a nation has collapsed due to overwork.

Of all things, from overwork.

The thought of how much he must have pushed himself made my eyes heat up with emotion, feeling terribly sorry for him who must have been suffering all alone until now. And feeling utterly powerless for not being able to help in such a situation.

Lilia, watching me, pulled a handkerchief from her embrace and offered it to me.

“Here, take it.”

“Why this…”

“It seems you will cry soon.”

“…”

The concern hidden in her indifferent tone touched my heart.

“Then, we will take our leave now.”

As I struggled not to let the tears clinging to my eyelids fall, Lilia said so and led everyone out of the bedroom.

Thanks to her, being left alone with Ruth in the bedroom, I clenched my teeth and held back my tears.

With the single-minded thought that I must not cry unsightly by his side as he was resting.

I was so preoccupied with tending to my own wounds, I didn’t try to see yours. I was only thinking about my own difficulties, not considering yours.

And so, you ended up in this state.

While I was busy looking after my petty selfishness, your body and mind were slowly decaying.

Looking back now, except for the time we met in the library, I realize I’ve never met him anywhere else. The actions I thought were him setting boundaries seemed rushed, as if he was being chased by something.

“I… need you…”

A question I once uttered has come back like a tidal wave.

“Ah.”

The truth I’m facing now is gnawing at me from the inside.

It wasn’t just me fighting a lonely battle. Ruth, too, was waging his own battle. In the battlefield called the imperial palace, wielding the sword known as the emperor.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Ruth.

As I kept apologizing to him in my mind, Ruth’s tightly closed eyelids twitched, then slowly lifted.
I gazed dumbly at the mysterious eyes gradually being revealed and murmured with a tearful voice,

“…Ruth.”

“…”

Hearing me call him, Ruth rolled his eyes to look at me.

Seeing my reflection in his unclear, cloudy eyes brought me back to reality, and I hastily covered my mouth.

Calling Ruth by his first name, Selena, was a mistake. No matter how distraught I was, it was something I should not have done.

It was a relief that Ruth wasn’t fully conscious yet; otherwise, all my efforts could have been for naught. The thought made me feel suffocated.

The weight of the air pressing down on my shoulders made me take a step back without realizing it. Somehow, it felt like I had to get out of his sight. As I took a couple of steps back with that thought, Ruth’s hand suddenly grasped my wrist tightly.

“!”

“I thought I made it clear.”

And then, with a voice so cruelly kind,

“You shouldn’t cry alone.”

It was then that I finally realized I was crying.