Perhaps that’s why. The heart I thought had become unaffected suddenly started to crumble slowly like a frail sandcastle facing a giant wave.
The seemingly plausible appearance soon distorted, and the walls that appeared solid were separated into individual grains of sand, returning to their original state.
It was easy for twenty-three-year-old Selena to revert to twelve-year-old Selena.
The face that had been smiling behind an adult mask was quickly stripped away, and soon her eyes stung. Judging by the tension in her lips, her expression must have been miserably contorted.
Instead of asking my mother why she did that to me back then, I cried pathetic tears, not knowing what to do with my apology.
Now knowing that blaming someone is ultimately a one-dimensional solution, I didn’t blame my mother but instead swallowed down the finally melted residue of bitterness.
“I mean, I am…”
It’s okay. I wanted to end this matter here and move on to another story, as I always have, putting a full stop with the words “it’s okay.”
However, for some reason, my lips only twitched without producing any sound. I believed it was familiar to say it’s okay even when it’s not, but I was mistaken.
I wanted to be petulant. Suddenly, it seems that such a thought crossed my mind. I wanted to pour out all the emotions I had suppressed alone when I was younger, to be comforted.
I wanted to whine about how hard it has been for me, how suffocating it was to kill time without freedom, laughter, or anything.
I wanted to lament that I was this sad when I was turned away by Ruth. I wanted to say how terrified I was when I found out that the Duke of Hazel’s men were after my life.
I thought time would heal everything, but it seems it wasn’t so. It turns out, I didn’t need time; I needed an apology, I needed an adult to lean on.
Tears streamed down my cheeks more thickly as a sense of emptiness followed the delayed realization. In the past, I would have blamed myself, thinking this desire was just greed, the immaturity of a heart that hadn’t fully grown.
But now, it felt all too natural. It was one of the rights I should naturally enjoy, as Ruth had told me.
“Mom. It’s been really tough.”
There were times when I felt like I was all alone in the world.
“It’s tough, so.”
Because I have to be an adult, I hold back tears, loneliness, and the pain of being trampled by others. And it becomes so hard to keep myself going.
“I wish you could hug me.”
Then I might feel a bit better.
I found myself using the word “mom,” a word I hadn’t uttered since I was five, without even realizing it. I was longing for a warm embrace now. I didn’t want to endure the pressure of having to turn twenty-three any longer.
After a brief silence, my mother quickly approached me. Then she opened her arms wide and hugged me tightly.
For the first time in a long time, I felt warmth and took a deep breath. I breathed as if my lungs would burst.
***
“Are you feeling a bit better now, sister?”
After concluding the conversation with mother like that, I ended up returning to my bedroom crying my heart out, unable to utter the rest of the stories. Ian, who had been following me quietly, cautiously asked me after about an hour, when my crying had somewhat subsided.
To him, I weakly smiled with my swollen eyes and gave a slight nod.
“I’m totally fine.”
“…You don’t look like it at all, are you really?”
“I mean it. I’m really okay, Ian. Truly.”
“I can’t trust your word on being okay anymore.”
His earnest joke made me burst into a slight chuckle.
“Truth be told, when I say I’m fine, it’s not sincere most of the time, but this time it’s real. I’m totally fine, Ian. Thanks for worrying about me.”
“As a brother, and as a person, I did what’s natural. You don’t need to thank me.”
“Even so.”
“If you’re really thankful, then please explain what this is all about.”
“Huh?”
I tilted my head in confusion at Ian’s incomprehensible words. Then, he took out a bundle of documents about two spans long from his bosom. It appeared somewhat like a newspaper, but also like old paper filled with letters.
“What’s this?”
With puzzled eyes, I couldn’t help but drop my jaw shortly after taking it. What Ian had handed me was none other than the rough draft of tomorrow’s newspaper from a rather famous newspaper company. Although it hadn’t been formally released to the public yet, it was the draft that would surely come out perfectly proofread tomorrow.
However, more shocking than Ian showing me the secretly entrusted rough draft of the newspaper was the content that adorned the front page of the newspaper.
The article, with the provocative headline, “The Decline of the Hazel Duchy, One of the Empire’s Deep-rooted Prestigious Families: What’s the Reason?” contained the story that the Hazel Duchy, having committed tremendous corruption secretly from the emperor, was to be dissolved.
“What is this….”
“Seeing your reaction, it seems you didn’t know either. That’s a relief then.”
Ian, carefully observing my reaction, seemed to let out a short breath of relief. I grabbed him, unable to hide my shaken pupils, and asked again.
“No, but what is this? Why is the Hazel Duchy said to be dissolved?”
“Well, I’m not quite sure myself. A guild member just passed me this information, but it seems like the duke’s tail got stepped on by His Majesty, the Emperor.”
“The duke’s tail means…?”
“Ah. You might not have known but that person, in cahoots with the emperor of the Cornellton Empire, has been siphoning off money bit by bit from the national treasury to send to the Cornellton Empire. And he has been settling the businesses of the Hazel Duchy one by one, it seems that perhaps they were planning to aim at me.”
“……”
Listening to Ian’s explanation, I furrowed my brows. It was surprising enough that a head of the Four Great Duke Houses, which could be considered the face of the empire, attempted to flee abroad, but even more so that he had meddled with the national treasury.
That wasn’t just a crime punishable by life imprisonment as stated in the laws, but a heinous crime that could even warrant the death penalty.
How could someone turn their back on all the crimes they’ve committed and shamelessly try to start a new life?
I recalled the incidents I had been through with Duke Hazel and gritted my teeth. While I was doing that, Ian, who had taken something else out from his bosom, called me.
“Sister.”
“Hmm?”
“Please take a look at this as well.”
“What’s this now?”
“This is a letter Duke Hazel sent exactly two days ago.”
“A letter?”
Why would that person have any reason to send a letter to our family? If it were something official, Ian wouldn’t make a point of telling me to see it like this.
I opened the letter Ian handed me, chewing over my rising irritation.
[Dear Duke Obelton,
The weather has gotten much better, I wonder if you are in good health.
In this season, one should spend time with their lover, yet it’s truly regrettable that there’s still no one by Duke Obelton’s side.
Even if up to now you’ve focused on strengthening your family’s power, perhaps it’s time to start looking for a partner?
No matter how much a family grows, if there’s no lady of the house to manage affairs within it, there could hardly be anything more troublesome.
In that sense, I’d like to make a suggestion. My granddaughter will soon have her coming-of-age ceremony. She’s as beautiful in character as she is in appearance, so perhaps you might consider meeting her?
This is merely advice and a suggestion based on years of experience, so please don’t take it the wrong way.
Oh, and there’s a saying, isn’t there? There are no eternal secrets. However, if one manages to make all mouths belong to Duke Obelton before the secret leaks, then an eternal secret can indeed exist.
I hope you have a wonderful day. May Duke Obelton’s hands always be filled with fortune.
From Duke Hazel.]
“……”
After I finished reading the letter and bit my lower lip tightly, Ian took the letter back.
Then, shaking his hands as if he had touched something filthy, he asked, “Do you have any idea why Duke Hazel is acting this way? I’m especially concerned about the ‘secret’ mentioned in the letter.”
“Golden Blood.”
“…Pardon?”
My sudden mention of golden blood caused Ian’s bright blue irises to waver slightly. Within them coexisted a desire to deny and a lingering suspicion despite it.
Watching this scene in silence, I tapped my lips with my index finger and added, “Duke Hazel has realized that I have golden blood.”
“What? But, how, no… How?”
“At the engagement party with His Majesty, I accidentally dropped a wine glass and instinctively covered my wrist so that no one would see my blood. It seems Duke Hazel made his own guess after seeing that and then investigated.”
“But surely, all the servants working in the mansion 11 years ago would have died…”
“Ian. Think about it. The mansion of the Oberlton Duke’s family, which had a powerful order of knights, was overwhelmed in just two hours by less than a hundred knights brought by the Third Prince. Do you think that was a coincidence? I definitely don’t think it was.”
I, too, had pondered over the same questions as Ian for a long time. And finally, I arrived at a conclusion.
That dreadful spring day was not solely the result of the Third Prince’s military power, but also the influence of conspirators within the clan. If one considers that, everything falls into place.
The precipitous decline of a family, one of the four great ducal houses, and the leakage of my secret, all mesh together if that assumption holds true.
To my confident question, Ian hesitated for a while before finally opening his mouth.
“I don’t think it was a coincidence. If all that tragedy happened by mere chance, it would be too unfair. So, it just can’t be a coincidence.”
