“…..”
Ah, finally.
“Miss. If you ever feel anxious that the happiness you barely caught might suddenly run away, try holding your breath tightly for a moment. Then, happiness won’t think of escaping and will stay with you forever.”
The moment the verdict regarding Duke Dright was announced, the courtroom became noisy all at once, but it all sounded distant to me.
Instead, a story I heard from my nanny in the distant past wandered in my head. If it feels like the happiness you barely caught might run away, you should hold your breath to prevent happiness from escaping.
Perhaps because of that. Before I could fully enjoy the sense of happiness, I unconsciously pressed my lips tightly and held my breath, suppressing the surging emotion of thrill and bitterness.
I made an effort not to lose the ending I finally achieved. At the same time, I tried to ignore the subtle emotion wriggling in my heart.
After 1 second, 2 seconds, I finally felt the end of everything related to Duke Dright. Finally. My lips slightly rose, unlike my brows which I could not bother to unbend, and I gripped the hem of my dress tightly. Finally. Finally…
My murmuring filled with ecstasy was cut short the moment my gaze caught Duke Dright and Duchess Dright.
They were crying as they watched Duke Dright being taken away by the knights, bound in chains. The already frail Duchess Dright cried out loud, unable to support her own body.
“My baby, my poor baby.”
Though I was on the second floor, perhaps because all my attention was on them, I could hear the Duchess Dright’s sorrowful lament from the first floor all too clearly.
Even forsaken by God, my poor child. Now, we are all you have left. My poor, poor child. The Duchess of Dright couldn’t take her eyes off the young Duke Dright, as she patted her chest while speaking.
I watched this scene and gradually started to lower the corners of my lips, which had initially been upturned. Knowing the full story, it was hard for me to watch this scene without any emotional turmoil. I felt a mix of happiness and pain, a contradiction that slowly suffocated me.
“My lady? Are you in pain?” Noticing my state, Ruth asked with a voice full of concern.
Looking into Ruth’s clear, purple eyes, I saw a reflection of myself looking disheveled, like a child who had lost their most beloved toy.
“…Your Majesty.”
“Did you call?”
“I, I did the right thing, didn’t I?”
Sometimes in life, one longs for confirmation that their actions were justified. It feels as though such validation might lift the heavy stone weighing down on one’s heart, even if it’s just an illusion. For me, that time was now.
At my question, Ruth chuckled softly, then pointed somewhere and said, “Take a look over there.”
“?”
As he pointed, I turned my head and saw Lilia, wrapped in the arms of the pleased-looking Duke of Harvest, crying. It was a new feeling to see her, who always appeared as immovable as a mountain, in such a state.
While I looked at them with my chin slightly dropped, Ruth flicked his finger lightly and continued to speak.
“Now, let me ask you the same question.”
“……”
“Do you think you did well, or do you think you did poorly?”
It was a more definitive answer than any other.
For some reason, I felt a warmth around my eyes, and I drew a big smile. It seemed like the only way to keep from crying.
“It’s a happy ending.”
A very tightly sealed one.
As I murmured this in a muffled voice, Ruth let out a hearty laugh and then pulled me into a gentle embrace. Wrapped in his embrace, the tender scent of cedar filled my lungs, as if to say, don’t cry, comforting me.
“Yes.”
In that position, the warmth of Ruth’s hand patting my head was felt. It was a warmth so tender it could melt the shadows cast over my heart and then some.
“It’s a happy ending.”
“Even if it’s not, I’ll make it so,” Ruth added jokingly at the end of his sentence, holding me for a long time until the sound of the open ending’s cry stopped, whispering comforting words into my ear.
It’s okay, Young Lady.
It’s okay if our happy ending is a little selfish.
It’s okay even if our decision was a mistake.
It’s okay, Serbia.
***
A day later, the morning arrived when I was to attend Helen’s birthday party. After the trial of Duke Dright, having promised Cedric we would be in touch again, I returned to my bedroom and slept soundly, unaware of the tremendous fatigue that had accumulated.
Thus, after sleeping nearly an entire day and waking up, I was immediately caught by Isabella and started preparing to go to Helen’s birthday party. Starting with bathing using perfumed oil and finishing with more makeup than usual, soon it was time to go to Helen’s birthday party.
“You look truly beautiful, Lady!”
Isabella, having seen my fully prepared appearance, could not hold back her admiration. Normally, I would have turned a deaf ear to Isabella’s noisy fussing, but today I was just as busy admiring myself as she was.
The deep navy dress made my fair skin stand out even more, and with the addition of a diamond necklace and earrings, it created an atmosphere reminiscent of an enchanting night sky.
While my irises would have matched even better if they were their original blue instead of green, I was still beautiful enough that it didn’t matter.
After admiring the dress for a while, I finally checked that the light blue feather pinned in my half-tied hair was securely in place and left my bedroom.
Since my preparation took unexpectedly longer, and because Ruth had said he would wait by the carriage ahead of time, my steps hastened naturally.
I hurried with my hands gripping the hem of my skirt, moving my steps quickly as if I were running, and was soon able to arrive at the place where the carriage was waiting. Perhaps because I had almost sprinted, or because I was wearing high-heeled shoes, my ankles ached a bit, but it was bearable.
“Ha, ha, where is it?”
I caught my breath, looked around, and finally spotted the carriage on my right, boasting a dazzling presence, and smiled. The thought that Ruth was waiting for me inside made my stomach flutter as if I had swallowed a cloud.
After completely calming my breath, I knocked on the carriage door, and the coachman who was sitting on the coach box came over and opened the door for me.
“You’re here.”
As the carriage door opened, Ruth descended from the carriage and extended his hand to me with a smile in his eyes. It was a perfect gesture of escort.
I blankly stared at Ruth, dressed in his navy uniform, then eventually came to my senses and blushed. Then I coughed unnecessarily and placed my hand in his.
“I’m sorry for being late.”
“Not at all. Hurry and get on. The banquet is about to start.”
“Yes.”
As I nodded and delicately took my seat, Ruth, sitting opposite me, tapped the carriage wall. It was a signal to the coachman that we were good to go.
As soon as the signal was passed to the coachman, the sound of horseshoes clattering could be heard, and the carriage started moving slowly.
***
Upon arriving at Duke Abyss’s estate, which I had visited once before, I followed Ruth and the servant who had come to greet us towards the banquet hall where Helen’s birthday party was underway.
“My lady.”
“Oh, yes?”
I was walking silently without much thought when suddenly Ruth started a conversation.
Startled from the quiet atmosphere and trying to hide my surprise, I looked at him.
“Did you know that Duke Hazel is coming to today’s banquet?”
“Yes.”
“Will you be alright?”
Ruth, who once advised me to confront my fears, asked in a worried tone, unlike his usual self, his eyes almost suggesting that we could turn back if I said I wasn’t okay.
Looking up at him, I narrowed my eyes slightly and then shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly.
“Ah. To be honest, I’m not alright, but I’ve decided to stop avoiding Duke Hazel, as you suggested last time. I want to move on from the long past.”
“That’s a good mindset to have. I’ll be by your side to help, so I hope you’ll face your fear properly this time.”
“That’s exactly what I plan to do.”
“We’ve arrived.”
In the midst of our gentle conversation, a servant stopped in front of a large door, bowed, and spoke.
Because of this, the conversation was interrupted, and I, brought back to reality, glanced at Ruth, who was instructing a knight standing by the door to open it, and took a deep breath.
I can do this.
I recited the spell that I had been repeating for several days once again. Then, as if by magic, the trembling stopped.
As my nerves eased, I was struck by how different everything around me was compared to when I first arrived at the Duchy of Abyss.
Back then, I was so exhausted by the completely changed environment that I had no choice but to hold on to Helen as if she was a lifeline, but now, I had the world’s most reliable ally by my side.
So, I can do well.
The moment I swallowed the words I hadn’t spoken aloud, the knight loudly announced our entrance and opened the door.
“The Emperor and Lady Ruth of the Serbia Obelton Duchy have arrived!”
The noise of the banquet hall stirred all the way to us, likely because the rumors circulating among the public had made it unimaginable that Ruth and I would enter together.
“Shall we go then?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Ruth seemed to have let such comments go in one ear and out the other, for he asked with a face unchanged from before.
Thus, I too kept a calm expression as I entered the banquet hall.
No sooner had I stepped into the banquet hall than my gaze naturally turned to a particular spot.
“…”
“It’s been a long time, Serbia.”
It was Helen.
